Thoughts on Thinking Less of Yourself…



The concept of ‘Radical Authenticity‘ both excites me and makes me groan…

It excites me because…

when people are just themselves as they are (which is always a challenge because we’re often taught to fear who we are as we are and hide it),

let it all hang out however awkward, weird, strange, and different they are (which is pretty much all of us… who think we’re the exception)

let their hair (wherever it grows, ears, nose, belly, nipples, etc) down, grow, be wild and free, blown by the wind (it tickles!)…

you get to see raw beauty and…

I frigging love beauty in the raw and being allowed to see it when you share it.



Alicia Keys without make up is beautiful (apparently her no-make-up look uses some make up,  and some people see that as being a betrayal of the sans fards movement… I guess those people haven’t heard of cutting other people slack, of rules being flexible to work with a personand who they are, what they’re doing, etc, rather than tell that person who they can or can’t be,  and the watch out because your pickiness will pick on you at some point effect), she looks beautiful with make up too, she’s just doing something which she’s decided to do for herself – that’s being authentic, that’s the real no-make-up look.


Sure, raw beauty can be rude, but it’s the kind of rude which isn’t deliberately trying to upset your polite.

Sure, authenticity can be rough on your sensitive skin… but it doesn’t mean to be, just like Winter doesn’t mean to rub your cheeks red with its biting winds and cold, or like Summer doesn’t mean to burn you even though you’re wearing maximum SPF.

Authenticity includes leeway for error, mistakes, detours and experimentation… all those things are an intrinsic part of natural. Have you seen some of the stuff this planet does… while it figures out how to be planet Earth. So, someone is living their life and trying to figure out what that means. It sometimes doesn’t mean what they think it means and that’s challenging enough without others weighing in with their own meaning for that person of what their life means and what they mean… I guess those people have figured their own life and meaning out and are bored or simply want to ‘help’ others… yeah… okay…



here come the rules… like the giant in Jack and the Beanstalk


People often say they’d prefer the truth to lies, even if it does that thing known as ‘hurt’, but when someone shares their truth… the same people who said they’d prefer it tend to suddenly want something else. They don’t want a lie, but they don’t want a truth either – there are conditions and you have to guess what they are… because they don’t seem to know, all they know is they didn’t want what they said they wanted, not the way you expressed it anyway, but they don’t want anyone to know that they can’t handle the truth because then it might make them look bad and seem like they want pretty little lies, and they’re not that kind of person… oh, no! So don’t even hint that they are just because they couldn’t handle your truth after they demanded that you give it to them…

everything is subject to terms and conditions, context and circumstance, and… the whatevers of life and people living life (each thinking we all should be on the same page of it, using the same dictionary to give each word meaning, and we’re not… although occasionally we almost are).




Which brings me to what makes me groan about ‘Radical Authenticity’…

Authenticity is natural, and normal because it’s natural… it’s not radical, it only becomes radical when the world around it isn’t used to it and finds it threatening to the status quo (while also finding it rather… sexy and attractive because it’s a dangerous bad boy or girl – shit, it hasn’t grown up yet, so better keep you hands off of it!).

Why isn’t the world around it used to it!?! That’s the question!

Why are we calling something normal and natural ‘radical’?

What need is that label fulfilling for us… ’cause it ain’t fulfilling for it, is it?

It’s like that other thing known as ‘Radical Honesty’…


do you know why certain people like that particular movement, because then they can be rude as fuck and call it by a buzzword which excuses the fact that they have no manners, empathy, compassion or sensitivity – mind you, don’t do to them what they do to you as then they’ll be very sensitive and request empathy, compassion and manners from you, even if you use ‘Radical Honesty’ to explain it when they demand an explanation from you for why you’ve hurt them, caused them huge amounts of personal pain for which they can’t forgive you (because that would be dishonest of them to do so), been disrespectful and possibly ruined their life (they can be very dramatic when they’re the target of the arrows they aim at others – others are not allowed to be dramatic about it).




The main groan I have with anything normal and natural which gets ‘Radical’ attached to it is that someone is thinking very hard about this and thinking too much about it. And if they’re ‘practising’ it they’re putting too much effort into being authentic and honest.

What in theory should be spontaneous is being thought out in detail before being done, rules are being made up for it and those rules become rigid in an attempt to curb freedom and control what others are doing (which could curb the rule-makers own freedom according to them).

The more it gains momentum as a movement the more people make rules for it (to include themselves and exclude others, to make it an elitist endeavour of which they’re a specialist), and someone is going to crown themselves the arbitre of whether you’re doing it right or wrong – most likely they’ll deem you’re doing it wrong compared to them (as they’ve worked very hard at being authentic and honest and you don’t get to just walk in and do that shit as though you were born to do it and it’s easy!).

It also makes me groan because this kind of thing is catnip for narcissists – especially once it becomes popular, hot, trendy.

Just as people can be magnets for narcissists, so can ideas, philosophies, clubs and movements. Whatever is trending… you’ll find a bunch of narcissists trying to be it and take it over as theirs – pushing others out, often those others who started the trend (those who started it will become ‘radicals’, but the bad kind of radical, the kind that can ruin ‘Radical authenticity’ by saying things like – that’s not what it is – once the narcissists take over and make rules for what it is).



according to this, and I could be reading it all wrong, authenticity is only available to ‘spiritual practitioners’ who are climbing some invisible ladder to a high point… hope they don’t suffer from vertigo


For me ‘Radical Authenticity’ needs to drop the ‘Radical’ and just be authentic – because ‘Radical’ is just bling for a thing which doesn’t need bling (of course if it wants to wear bling because that’s just its thing then… you know).

Just be yourself… that’s hard enough to be as it is.

It’s radical without needing to be radical – or wonder if others are all ‘Whoa, look at them being all authentic, what a radical!’

For me being authentic is just being as is, whatever the fuck that is – I’m discovering it as you are, it’s a surprise to me too and I sometimes think… shit, this is radical!!! but it’s not…

it’s natural…

normal because it’s natural…

and when I’m being authentic I don’t think about me and what I’m being…

that’s something I look for in others who claim to be being authentic.

Because when you’re being you as you are you don’t need to think about it, you just are…

and that’s easy (even if challenging), breezy (even when that wind bites), and doesn’t require conscious thought about yourself and who you’re being and what that means to you and to others, and what others are thinking about you and how can you control it by controlling yourself.


you don’t need to think about yourself when being yourself, when being authentic (yup, that’ a rule I’m making up about it… feel free to break it because you’re you).

Your respect you enough to be you so you don’t need to think about it… about you… you can focus that attention elsewhere, maybe on others, maybe on something else, perhaps an idea which needs nourishing to grow…

What say you?