The Thinky Pain of Mars in Scorpio

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“That’s the big challenge of life—to chisel disappointment into wisdom so people respect you and you don’t annoy your friends with your whining.”
― Marc Maron

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Have you ever met (and I’m using the concept of meeting very loosely) someone who made you do a double take and say to yourself – Omg, this person is me… only not me?

I’ve been doing that recently with Marc Maron. I’m in the process (that sounds rather serious and important, like business or summit) of watching Maron…

not stalking him with binoculars from the window of his neighbour’s house after having killed or otherwise subdued his neighbours and using their house as my base of operations to spy on him with the goal of making him mine (by wearing his skin after we’ve consummated our affair – the one I have with him in my head) – not that!

I may have Mars in Scorpio (like Marc Maron does) but that doesn’t mean I have to act (Mars = action) on every deep dark intense thought, urge, passion (Scorpio stuff) which I have… and besides I’m not having those about Marc (can I call you Marc, I feel like I know you even if I don’t really and you don’t know me and if you read this you’d definitely… well, actually considering your ‘type’ of lady you’d probably find me just psycho enough for you), as I am thoroughly taken (and Mars in Scorpio obsessed) by another beardy moustachioed Mars in Scorpio man (whose ‘type’ is also the crazy psycho lovable bitch from just West of Hell – he told me while watching the Maron episode where he interviews Sarah Silverman for his famous podcast that she’s pretty hot, maybe hotter than me, but I shouldn’t be jealous – I’m not, I’m totally into her too although… I would have to kill her after we consummated this strange threesome union because that’s the polite and politically correct thing to do – unless I’ve misunderstood those concepts).

I am joking, kidding… the lady doth jesteth too much… about all of the above (most of it, some of it, hard to know which is which sometimes…nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean).

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“Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you’re one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?”
― Marc Maron

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It’s kind of interesting that the sort of women to whom Marc Maron seems to be attracted and whom he attracts (according to his TV series self) are the kind of women to whom I am sometimes attracted in spite of my own wish not to be attracted to them (because they’re usually damsels in distress who turn out to be the dragon they wanted someone to save them from) and whom I sometimes attract (I have Pisces/Aries in my 7th house – the house of relationships. That combo pretty much encapsulates the damsel in distress who is actually a fire-breathing people-eating dragon). This could be a Mars in Scorpio thing as Mars is part of the Venus/Mars attraction dynamic – Mars in Scorpio is attracted to and attracts the passionately twisted darkness.

What I mean by the Venus/Mars attraction dynamic is… in astrology you check out Mars and Venus in your own chart (and the chart of others – like those sort of others you’re trying to attract and be attractive to) to find out what attracts you and what is attractive about you. What influences your passion. What seduces you and what you do to seduce – what makes you seductive, attractive and so on. Marc Maron’s Venus is in Libra – Libra is lovely beautiful unbalanced crazy (I’m not the only one who thinks this, recently saw several others say something similar on this great astrology site – Elsa Elsa – not sure whether it was in this post – Top 10 Taboo Topics In Astrology – which was intriguing to read (the comments particularly) for a Mars in Scorpio – Scorpio loves the taboo and making it a topic of conversation, or this one – Your Bias Towards Different Zodiac Signs – this was interesting for different reasons – it explained a lot about how others approach my Sun sign and how that causes problems, or another one as I check this site out daily as I always find delicious food for thought on it).

Marc has Venus in Libra – his lovely beautiful crazy is how he seduces you, attracts you. It attracted me… eventually, once I noticed it. I have Venus is Pisces – I attract others by embodying some fantasy of theirs, I can do this unconsciously, I don’t have to do anything at all people just paint me with what they want me to be, I sleep-walk into a role, whispering love me, love me, love me in a way most people hear as I love you, love you, love you… until I wake up and say – eww, this is some romantic sticky crap. That just breaks the spell, everyone ends up on the rocks and only those who like things on the rocks like it, but even they can be picky (Virgo-Pisces switcheroo).

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But I am serious about doing a double take and thinking that Marc Maron is me – if I was a man, a comedian, famous, funny, doing a podcast, living in L.A., had a moustache and beard, and everything else he is and has which I’m not and don’t have.

He has Mars in Scorpio – I have that!

Did I mention that my Mars in Scorpio squares my Mercury and that = I’m always arguing with myself, debating stuff with and between me, myself and I until I frogmarch my way right out of something, talking and walking my way out of it in a similar manner to the way I talked and walked my way into it.

His routine for his podcast and other outlets is similar to my routine on here – it’s not really a routine at all, it’s just him being him and sharing that shit as it is… as it is with me on here. He’s just being himself as I’m being myself… and that can be hard work while also being easy and fun.

He is also a Pluto in Virgo generationeer (it’s a word now because I used it as one) which tends towards self-destructive self-deprecation when and if they have a humorous bone in their body.

I have Plutonium in Virago too!

He’s also got the Uranus conjunct Pluto thing going on… so self-destructive is being self-destructive to free itself… from itself.

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“When you’re young you really think you’re angry for reasons and causes. As you get older, you realize you might just be angry.”
― Marc Maron

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I have that too but…

He’s a teensy bit of a titch older than me so he has Uranus in Virgo tightly conjunct Pluto in Virgo which = strange ways that can be very liberating. Self-destruction leads to self-liberation in one form or another.

I’m of the Uranus has just moved into Libra and is only loosely conjunct Pluto in Virgo generation – we’re a smaller generation, an in-between one (not sure what we’re in between… but we don’t really belong to the generation before us or the one after us – maybe that’s how all generations feel) which those of the Pluto/Uranus conjunct in Virgo into astrology generation often scoff at because we’re not one of them (our Uranus/Pluto conjunction… bah! Not really a conjunction anymore, try a different chart system and those two planets ain’t in contact anymore, so don’t say you’re one of us!) but we keep saying that we are… and that annoys the bleeps and bleats out of them. For us… it just makes us sad and we do a moopy face (for a definition and example of moopy face – look at the multiple expressions which are all the same which Kerry Washington does in the TV series Scandal – this is a good series to watch if you want to know why some people are attracted to narcissists and can’t stop being attracted to them even when they want to. She is the queen of the moopy face as she looks gorgeous when she does it, a requisite for a queen – I just look like I ate something I’m about to, want to, can’t quite, throw up because I’m a lady… lady said in Little Britain style).

One of the things I’ve noticed when one Mars in Scorpio interacts with another is… we’re a really bad good (or good bad) influence on each other.

While taking a break from writing this post to think about writing this post I imagined @-ing Marc Maron on Twitter just to say – Hey, love your work – or some other validating (for who) trite thing but often appreciated (by who) bollocks. Of course a Mars in Scorpio doesn’t stop there with the – Love you man or woman thing – they have to keep going until they overdo it (at least they do if they’re me – I’m a Monkey in Chinese astrology and I’m not done until I fall out of a tree) and I ended that break by imaginary tweeting this – Don’t worry @ Marc Maron I’m not a new stalker intent on making you mine via Twitter, I use Twitter about as much as I use my vagina… at least in the way it’s supposed to be used. Yeah! You go grrl (who is in no way shape or form a grrl)! There are probably too many characters in that imaginary tweet but that’s what’s so great about imaginary tweeting… you can use as many characters as you want (hmmmm… that sentence is a hmmmm sentence), that and you don’t say or actually tweet shit you’ll regret even if it is funny (or was funny only to you in that moment… moments later you realise it was awful and thank the gods of silence and self-censorship you didn’t say it out loud or share it online).

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“It amazes me that we are all on Twitter and Facebook. By “we” I mean adults. We’re adults, right? But emotionally we’re a culture of seven-year-olds. Have you ever had that moment when are you updating your status and you realize that every status update is just a variation on a single request: “Would someone please acknowledge me?”
― Marc Maron

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If you have accidentally on purpose read any of my posts you might think that some of what I say might be a bit, a tad, a smidgen outrageous – if you do you might want to consider this – I filter and censor myself on here. Not as much as I probably should – but eff the whole should thing. I’ve tried living in the land of Should, fairly sure everyone has tried that… those Elven dreams died and kept on living, singing their sweet songs in a mysterious tongue, haunting all of us… leading us to be skewered upon pointy Elven ears.

Spend some time in my head or in a private session with me (forget the latter I tend to filter and censor myself in private interactions with others too – unless they have Mars in Scorpio) and you’ll realise this here is rather tame and nowhere near as wild as things can get… if they were to get out of their padded cage. They like it there so you don’t need to worry – the conditions in which they are kept aren’t cruel.

So what about the Marc Maron whom I have met through watching the TV series Maron do I find to be… me?

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(Yeah, sort of, not so much these days… unless someone pisses me off, which requires more effort on their part now whereas before I did all the work for them)

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Well, it’s the blunt straight talk, the urge to blurt opinions out which you know aren’t going to be welcome or popular and you kind of like that they aren’t (you may be disappointed and maybe even offended if they are), to say it like you see it while realising that how you see it is probably not as it is because it’s seen through shadow-coloured glasses, it’s cynical with a twist of lime, it’s something which has had all the sugar licked off of it, it’s Halloween candy in your Trick or Treat bag which has been there for several years – now is the Winter of your time to actually eat this booty you looted, it’s Mars in Scorpio pontificating while hating itself for pontificating…

I looked up Marc’s astro because I was so freaked in a positive way about the similarities which I found (in my mental case) between his style of self-expression and mine… pity he doesn’t have a time of birth (I’m sure he has one unless he was born during a crack in the space-time continuum, but it’s not publicly available)… but that’s a no worries no problem situation as once I saw he had Mars in Scorpio I stopped needing to know more about him and his astro (sort of) than he’d like. I did a typically human – That’s all I needed to know about you mate, I’ve climaxed, I’m done, your job is done, TY very much, dude!

In the show he shares glimpses into his relationship with his parents. I don’t know if this is real or (memorex – effing adverts how do we get rid of them once they’re there) artistic flourishes but… his TV parents are narcissists like mine (my non-TV parents, that is). And he deals with their crazy parent (terrible as parents) shit the way I dealt with mine – by finding the humour in it and channeling the anger into a vessel which allows it to be dealt with (even if you’re still not ready to deal with it).

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“Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain.”
― Marc Maron

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How did I ‘meet’ Marc Maron?

(yup, I’m self-indulgently interviewing myself here… it’s a way of interacting with myself which I’ve done for many years to get to the bottom of… me… not sure if I’ve reached bottom yet, I could be a bottomless pit… but I keep hearing plops so I’m fairly certain there’s a shallow pool in the depths of me)

The poster I posted at the top of this post (that sounds like a tongue twister) is one I’ve seen pass by my eyes while flicking through Netflix. It always caught my attention (but not enough to get me to watch it – still haven’t, might never, who knows) because the words ‘Thinky Pain’ are brilliant… a brilliant description of the pain of thinking – it’s the edge of cute which makes it so excellent. Pain with a side order of cute… that’s what makes pain hurt hard, that tiny sliver of cute works its way deeper into you than all the harsh and uncute parts of pain. Every time I saw that poster my mind would just repeat ‘Thinky Pain’ over and over like a mantra. It was soothing as well as being irksome because I wish I’d thought it up. Damn you, Marc Maron, for thinking it up and sharing it and… love you man!

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awesome artwork by Deedee Cheriel seen in Marc Maron’s garage at the beginning of each show

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Marc Maron seems to be mates with Louis C.K. and Dennis Leary (that lovable a-hole – who is a redhead, I’m a redhead and an a-hole, I might be lovable sometimes…). He was supposedly (not supposedly at all) in a couple of episodes of Louis – I just don’t remember him in that (which is why I say supposedly) and I’ve watched all of those (okay, while I was there through all of those episodes some I only sort of watched because… ooh, a butterfly… has flapped its wings, better take cover!). I like Louis C.K. and Dennis Leary – they’re my kind of man, of person, funny.

I haven’t listened to Marc’s podcast because I don’t listen to podcasts – I don’t like injecting other people’s voices into my head, I have enough voices in there already, it’s jam-packed, don’t need more. I don’t listen to music for a similar reason – that and I always end up arguing with lyrics. I wish I could do the whole listening to podcast thing because there are some awesome genius voices out there – but I’m crazy enough and would like to control what really doesn’t like being controlled.

But I did notice him in the TV series, Easy, because he stood out, his episode was a tour de force, and in a great series standing out means you’re worth noticing – that sounds… yup, it sounds like that.

And because he stood out in Easy I watched Maron.

While Maron isn’t really Mumblecore, it’s got a lot of the things which I love about Mumblecore about it – something which tends to appeal to those with Mars in Scorpio. It’s basically ‘radically authentic’ – that tiresome buzzword. But it is, at least as authentic as anything you see which is classified as and made for entertainment is ever going to be. It’s a creative look at humans being human… and sometimes those who ‘act’ it do it better than those who aren’t ‘acting’ the part.

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“People don’t talk to each other about real things because they’re afraid of how they’ll be judged.”
― Marc Maron

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He has and loves cats too treating them not as ‘cats’ but as beings…

I only have one cat = one cat has me. My cat doesn’t like other cats. I totally get that cat…

My cat sometimes thinks it’s a dog – it growls and does this weird meow-barking…

I sometimes think I’m a human and do this weird talking thing which others can sometimes hear… isn’t it weird when people register your sound, especially when you thought you were most likely not real at all but an echo of a ghost.

Time for another kind of sound

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Over to you – have you met someone who is you while not actually being you?

Share… anything you want to share!