The 5th House – Drama, drama, drama…

What did you create today?

And when you created it did you demand attention for it, for you through it?

Did you want applause, accolades, a cornucopia of ‘Likes’, did you #hashtag it up the wazoo so no one would miss it even if they were trying to ignore you and what you’re doing on social media, did you… get your heart crushed by how self-obsessed everyone is about themselves and whatever they’re posting online that they can’t take a time out to stroke your own self-obsessed self?

Welcome to matters and issues available in the 5th house in astrology…




seriously you are welcome here, really and truly we here love you… you and all your beautiful creative expressions of you!

If you still don’t feel welcome, appreciated, loved and hugged and cuddled enough, if the attention you’re getting still leaves you feeling dissatisfied, ignored, a victim of the silent treatment by the big bad world (especially that romantic crush of yours), if your expectations are disappointed (unless your expectations are to be disappointed)…

you might want to investigate what’s going on in the 5th house of your natal chart.

It’s the natural home of Leo… sorry… LEO!!!!!!!!!!! on the zodiac wheel and is also where the Sun shines… because Leo is ruled by the Sun, of course, only the centre of the Universe is worthy enough for the sign!

It’s the house of drama, Drama, DRAMA… queens and kings! And don’t think you don’t have an inner drama king or queen… we all do, it’s known as our ego, represented by the Sun in our chart.

The 5th house may show your favourite stage to enact your own personal drama…

I happen to have my Sun in the 5th house, so I should be an absolute ego monster… but unfortunately my Sun is in Capricorn (pantomime BOOOOOOS!) so… yup, most people who use astrology superficially will agree that due to my Sun sign I am definitely a monster of ego (Capricorn is voted as the sign most likely to crush your ego… BOOHOO!).

Speaking of using astrology superficially… if you want to go a little deeper than usual with it, you might want to investigate the weird and wonderful world of Esoteric Astrology (but please unfasten your seatbelts and keep an open mind because some of the roots of this type of astrology include transcended masters using human channels – channelers of the wisdom of disembodied beings… in other words it’s frigging weird and could freak you out, you don’t want to be tied to your seat while freaking out because you could get some nasty bruises, and if you happen to hit your head while being thrown around due to psychic turbulence – maybe the blackout will help you forget the crazy you were momentarily exposed to).



The 5th house as seen through the lens of Soul-Centered Astrology by Alan Oken and compared to Traditional Astrology (the kind of astrology most of us know as astrology)


I also happen to have my Mercury (my dominant planet and most overused part of my natal chart) in the 5th house – you can thank it or unthank it for what is in my posts as it is the main influence of how I write the amazingly entertaining total bullshit drivel genius that I write.

My mind is an arrogant twat of a diva drama loving queen… so it embraces it’s placement in the 5th house.

My Sun on the other hand is constantly protesting against ego…

perhaps because it has Pluto trine it… which is supposed to be a positive and easy aspect, but nothing is easy about Pluto and the positive of it usually only comes after it’s put you through some traumatic experience designed to re-create you after it’s destroyed you (or what you thought was you but it has now shown you that this wasn’t you at all, it was just some snake oil your ego had sold you).

perhaps because it’s squared by Saturn… want to never feel good enough, want to be constantly criticised by an inner voice who tut-tuts you at every opportunity and just for some sinister fun? Well get yourself a natal Saturn square natal Sun and you will never have a confident ego moment in your life! Saturn can eff you over by transit… just imagine if that kind of transit effery was never-ending. I bet you’re envious of my chart now!



OMG not your frigging chart again!!! – yup, I’m arguing with myself about this… it’s fun to argue with myself and take pot shots at my ego!

this is from the Astro Click Portrait on Astrodienst which can be found in the Free Horoscopes section – a very useful tool when trying to learn how to read your natal chart or anyone else’s (but you should really start with your own before trying to tackle someone else’s – that’s a wisdom for life, deal with yourself before you go around trying to deal with others. Before you accuse me… take a look at yourself! – ‘Wisdom’ brought to you by Saturn square Sun who is always pooping on the ego trip!)


If I sound drunk to you in my posts it’s because I am… intoxicated by the helium in my mind.

While I probably should focus on having my Sun in the house of the Sun… my Mercury is elbowing my Sun out of the way and demanding attention. There are certain aspects (not astrological aspects but those too – my Mercury regularly overdoses on the trine it has from Jupiter who makes everything AMPLIFIED and bigGER, and Uranus who a nutjob eccentric chasing freedom even when it has it, it always feels trapped) which… WTF was I talking about…

took a pause to rewind… there are certain aspects of having Mercury in the 5th house which is great! I can entertain myself with absolutely nothing for hours and those hours will pass by too quickly sometimes.

As a child I spent mucho timeo waiting, if I didn’t fall asleep during the wait I’d be busy rearranging the world around me, or creating stories about the people and things in front of my eyes (and often saw people and things which weren’t there).

My play included loads of brothers and sisters whom I didn’t have in real life as I was an only child with parents who thought it best to keep me surrounded by adults if company was unavoidable, isolated from society in a best case scenario, rarely if ever around other children because… some reason or another like they were a ‘bad influence’ on me – in other words I behaved like a child, saw that usually I was not allowed to behave as a child, realised I was being brought up in a totally odd manner compared to my peers… and this was not acceptable.

Play, fun and games, life puzzles – all matters of the 5th house (if you have Jupiter in the 5th you should become a professional gambler! Nope, I did not just advise you to do that… lying and fantasy may also be part of the 5th house, maybe).



George Foreman – Cap Sun/Aqua Merc in the 5th house.


While Mercury in the 5th can make of even the most tedious task a game… it can also do the opposite because all placements, signs, aspects, yadda yadda, have both positive and negative as part of their whole.

I can ruin a perfectly good game just by… getting bored of it.

I try not to do that if others are involved because I am conscious of the consequences and ripples beyond me, me, me… however dealing with my brat of a Mercurial mind sometimes is not always something I can contain and it spills over.

Things my bratty Mercurial ego-centric mind sometimes screens in an inner tantrum – I’m soooo BORED!!!! Not this AGAIN, FFS I’ve done this once and now know everything I need to know about it…. NEXT! Is this person STILL talking!?! OH please someone say something INTERESTING!!! I HATE this game, it’s cheating, it’s predictable, it’s not challenging enough, this pattern is tedious… yes, this pattern is tedious dear Mercury, please shut up and only speak to me if you have something new and interesting to say as I’ve heard all of your whining a billions times already.

Mercury (offended): I’m not boring… am I?

The problem with my Mercury asking a question like that is… it doesn’t want to be mollycoddled because it’ll suss that routine out in a split second and be even more offended that this tactic was used on it.

Mercury (even more offended): Do I look like the sort of entity who needs and can be placated by this kind of bullshit!?

Usually my Mars answers Mercury’s questions and a fight ensues (because they’re tied by a square)… which keeps both of them busy and the rest of my chart can get some stuff done.



Kevin Costner – Cap Sun/Aqua Merc in the 5th house.


Okay, while the ‘kids’ of my chart are distracted, let’s have some serious and sober adult talk time.

You really don’t want to be around me when I’m feeling my Sun in the 5th full force (especially not now that transiting Pluto is right on top of it) without the light entertainment and distractions offered by my Mercury… I can be very heavy and nothing is heavier than a Sun in 5th house who wants to play being stuck between the rock and hard place of Pluto and Saturn who are squishing all the joy out of it.

I love to create and be creative… but my creations always die, usually very slowly, painfully, killing off a part of me as they do so.

There’s an intensely painful side to me being me which haunts my every breath… my ego will never really be allowed to shine and be appreciated for its shine. Something or someone always… shatters that dream. Often that someone is me… either unconsciously not fully realising what I’m doing to myself, or consciously doing to myself pre-emptively what I know is going to happen soon (if I wait… hoping it wont’ happen… it’s never not happened).

Welcome to the inner world of a Capricorn Sun (ad the dark side of the 5th house) – on the outside you think we’re so full of ourselves that you regularly shout at us in frustration – WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?! – nothing you do to make us feel your pain seems to get through our carapace, to us. Oh, we feel your pain… your pain isn’t dissimilar to ours.



The blue is a little too cheery otherwise this is quite a good take on being a Saturnine Capricorn…


But unlike you we aren’t trying to pummel someone else with it because we wouldn’t like it if someone did that to us. We’re trying to keep ‘the beast’ inside the cage…

maybe we shouldn’t do that because people like you would… wouldn’t… you’d be more careful or you’d be lunch.

Don’t worry I’m not going to eat you and not because I understand that like me you’re struggling with a beast inside of you (although partly because of that) which is hurting due to being hungry, an ego who could devour the world and still find the world to be not enough…



but because feasting on you would be like offering a cheeto (not even a whole pack) to an ancient hunger and expecting that to satisfy its craving for blood, for flesh, for a brain, for a mortal soul… but that mortal soul is too shallow as it doesn’t seem to give a bleep for anyone but itself (and that’s putting it in harm’s way due to selfishness which you think is not that at all and it’s making you stupid – ego makes a fool of us all) that won’t feed my inner beast.

My mortal soul won’t feed your ancient hunger either so even if you do destroy this Capricorn Sun because that’s okay as all Capricorns are the devil’s a-hole and you’ll be cheered by the crowds of your fantasy village for defeating the dragon who was burning their houses made of straw down… you’ll feel empty shortly afterwards and will be hungry again, wondering why you can never fill the void, seeking a new sacrifice for your own personal volcano as you try to stop it from exploding and destroying your… creation – your version of you, of reality.



excerpt via The DK Foundation – Karma and New Directions – the 5th House


The curtain closes on the drama of the 5th house. We hope you enjoyed our play in two acts or with two actors – Mercury and the Sun, with a supporting cast of Pluto, Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus and Mars… oh, I ope we’re not forgetting anyone but we’re just so flustered by your attention, we really didn’t expect anyone to come and watch us…

Bows and curtsies…

(what no bouquet!?! how rude… but the show must go on…)

Please feel free to enjoy the fruits of our labours, and do so without letting us know that you’ve done so, we appreciate your patronage never-the-less, and are grateful if you share with others what you have gained even if you don’t reveal your source and choose to pretend it comes directly from you (we understand ego… it’s a funny thing once you get over how not funny it is sometimes), if you would like to steal, plagiarise… whatever, no one will know or notice or check… and if you want more because we didn’t give you enough, demand it and it shall be yours but be aware that second helpings often cause indigestion (your eyes were totally not feeling empathy for your stomach)… and we’re completely okay with you giving us the third degree to help you with your own… stuff and then disappearing never to be heard from again once you’ve got what you wanted or got what you didn’t want at all…

we’re Mercury and Sun, we get it, the mind and ego are…

games that sometimes play us.

That’s it… until next time where we shall meet again under different circumstances (hopefully I won’t be so hungry next time… I really shouldn’t write on an empty and growling gut whose growls I tried to silence by feeding it a small pack of cheese puffs).





  1. Great post! 🙂

    There once was a Capricorn who liked to eat corn on the cob, and puzzled through the uneven rows with thoughtful attention. Some kernels were sweet and crunchy and some were woody and rubbery, and some were hard and dry, but this Capricorn took them together and made many a starchy discovery. Through careful chewing and articulate stewing, this Capricorn opened a kitchen. And what came out was also in: a humble vegetable universe. 🙂


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