How To Hurt…

If there’s one thing all humans seem to share in spite of all our differences, it’s the ability to hurt.

And it’s most likely one of the first lessons we learn about life in physical form…

it hurts…

there’s probably a sign over the door through which we have to pass to be born which says:

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Life hurts us in so many ways…

not just physically,

but also mentally, emotionally, psychically, sensorially…

it hurts right now just trying to think of all the ways…

and because we hurt…

we may end up hurting others…

sometimes inadvertently…

and sometimes deliberately…

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The image above is a screenshot I took this morning of the search terms which people used (ending up on my blog) today…

I have to admit it surprises me a little how often people search online for instructions on how to hurt others…

partly it surprises me because hurting others is easy…

think of how easily you can get hurt, once you’ve considered that, consider this – other people aren’t that different from you when it comes to getting hurt, what hurts you most likely hurts them too…

chances are the reason someone is seeking for a ‘How to Hurt…’ is because they’re hurt, and because they’re hurting they want to lash out at whoever hurt them – whoever hurt them probably hurt them because they’re hurting… maybe they were retaliating… maybe they were following some online guide on How-To-Hurt after they’d searched for it… and found it!

Hurt tends to go around and around in a vicious sharing cycle…

I hurt, I hurt you, you hurt, you hurt me, we both hurt, we both hurt each other, I hurt someone else because they got between you and me, you hurt someone else because they were there when you were flailing around in pain, they hurt, they hurt you, hurt me, hurt someone else because they slipped while trying to hurt us and… someone else is now hurt, they must pass the hot potato on…

where it stops… nobody knows…

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and partly it surprises me because… why would you want to deliberately hurt someone else… especially when you will most likely end up getting hurt some more for your effort…

piling hurt upon hurt… Jenga-style… is healing when you start removing bricks in the tower?

Hurt someone else and they’re probably not going to magically understand that this was their due of karma for what they did to you, that they deserved it and they appreciate the lesson you’ve taught them (and which karma has taught them through you – the karma police),

if you didn’t do that when they hurt you, didn’t thank them for the lesson, didn’t accept that this was your karma coming back to you… why would they do that when you hurt them…

they’re not likely to give you that apology you may be hoping for because now they’re the ones who expect one of those… and…

hurt tends to go on even after you get an apology…

once hurt…

we tend to beware and be wary of anything which comes afterwards…

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An awesome film about pain, hurt and being human

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But if you’re still insisting on getting a ‘How To Hurt…’ guide to inflict onto someone else the results of what they did to you…

(and you’re fully aware that the results you’ll get will be a mixed bag of momentary satisfaction and then disappointment, dissatisfaction, because now you’ve done it… did you do it right, did things go wrong… and… it has barely taken the edge off your pain… in some ways you feel worse than you did before because you now have to live with the nasty you did… and it makes your story of you being the nice one a little bit of a lie… and other added extras which hurting others deliberately gives us… hurting us as a consequence…)

I’m sure you’ll find plenty of advice elsewhere online…

if you’re trying to hurt a narcissist (whom you think may actually be a sociopath – you really ought to check your diagnosis because it makes a big difference, or maybe you don’t care or care so much you’re giving them all the bad labels)… you might find that they will hurt themselves using you far more effectively than you will ever hurt them using yourself.

It’s worth noting that pretty much everything hurts a narcissist (while pretty much nothing hurts a sociopath)… especially when they’re looking for a hurt to have and then to use to fuel one of their dramas. It can be very random… even a butterfly can hurt a narcissist (and it doesn’t have to be because that butterfly flapped its wings and caused a tree to fall in a forest which no one heard).

The hurt of a narcissist goes on and on like ta solar powered energiser bunny in the desert…

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If you’re trying to hurt a Capricorn…

an ordinary Capricorn…

rather than one who happens to be a narcissist sociopath or psychopath or off the known diagnostic scale (a term yet to be invented for humans to apply to other humans they have deemed to be… scary)… who is in charge of a country that refuses to play with the rest of the world and has nukes to use as retaliation for anything you might do to them in retaliation for whatever they did to you… and they might just use them because they have them and its a new, improved, and awesome toy gadget thing to obliterate all those pesky people who keep trying to tell them what to do (if you’re dealing with this kind of a Capricorn… you might want to accept Switzerland’s offer to deal with them for you and/or cross your fingers, hope for a…)…

well… ordinary Capricorns know hurt very well (they’re Saturn ruled – that’s a whole load of hurt ruled), and also know how to hide it well… they hide their hurt so well that you won’t know it’s there, it’s happened, you’ve done it, you’ve hurt them… until it is too late, for you, for them, for this tiny spinning rock filled with molten pain and explosive agony…

that keeps spinning

generation after generation…

where it stops… nobody knows…

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the ‘sign’ this really applies to is – human

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So, over to you…

Have you ever searched online for a How-To-Hurt and was it worth it? Did you find what you were looking for? Was it everything you hoped it would be? Did you go through with it or… did the search lead elsewhere?

And, btw, I do understand the urge to hurt others… I’m human… but I’m also a Capricorn Sun (did you just ‘boo’ panto style!?!)… we learn things the hard way and try not to repeat the same mistakes more than is necessary to get a message through our thick horny skulls… and according to someone who recently commented on an old post (a post written while under the influence of strong sarcasm… a fav expression style of Capricorns… and totally prone to being misunderstood by people who are too serious and haven’t got a sarcastic bone in their body), I’m a malignant narcissist (fairly certain this online diagnoser of someone they’ve not met… has not met a malignant narcissist either… or they would not be saying such a thing to someone they think is one)…

If the search lead elsewhere… where did it lead?

5 thoughts on “How To Hurt…

  1. To be honest i have never really had the urge to hurt other people. The other way around is a different matter. I once lived i a dormitory with a guy that for some reason hated me, I honestly don´t know why. One evening he was giving someone i can´t remember who a lesson about how stupid i was. I looked him onto the his eyes and said sorry to hear that i like you. He looked like i had hit him ine the head with a sledge hammer. He actually became so friendly and clingy that i suddenly had another problem. I was stuck with an idiot.

    Every time i had the urge to revenge someone for something it has always been a blessing in disguise because it has opened a door to something new.
    An engineer (train driver) once told me. Don’t cry over spilled milk (A cat usually comes around and licks up). I have found this to be very true.

    A narcissist on Quora also wrote that if a person can have a relationsship with a narcissist for about half a year, then something is wrong with that person. I think this is something that is missing from the talk about narcissists in general and especially on the internets. I guess crazy attracts crazy.

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    1. Thank you for sharing 🙂

      That’s an interesting story about the guy in the dormitory. It sounds as though he was afraid you didn’t like him and covered that fear with aggression towards you until you told him you liked him.

      Social interactions can be so complicated.

      That narcissist on Quora was being a typical narcissist and blaming others for what the narcissist did to them, and giving themselves a justification for continuing to treat people the way they treat them – if you weren’t flawed then I wouldn’t need to point out your flaws to you, if you weren’t damaged then I couldn’t damage you, if you didn’t have such soft skin and flowing blood then when I stab you I couldn’t cut you and you wouldn’t bleed, etc.

      Check out this humorous post, esp #5 – https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/4963/8-things-narcissist-cannot-do-for-you-or-anyone-else/

      They could have also just been trolling people on the forum (saying something like that is sure to aggravate those who are discussing being victims of narcissists, and a narcissist would know that – they are skilled in prodding and poking where people are hurting because they get lots of supply from negative attention), and had most likely spent mental effort trying to find a smartass rebuttal (of which they would be smugly proud) which shut people up (in the vein of ‘I’m rubber and you’re glue…’).

      Narcissists do sometimes make good points, or points worth considering, when they make observations like that, however since they tend not to understand ordinary human behaviour, and human behaviour within a relationship (not everyone discards others the way a narcissist does, because they don’t view others as disposable objects), they often miss the point themselves.

      The question of – Is there something wrong with you if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist – is one which is asked regularly by those who’ve realised that the other person in the relationship is a narcissist (which can take ages to figure out, and is not an easy conclusion to come to). It is something which has been discussed a lot, and many possible answers have been proposed both by professionals and non-professionals alike. You’ll find words like co-dependent, enabler, empath, and such used when the issue is being discussed.

      A relationship with a narcissist tends to have as a component the narcissist making whoever is in a relationship with them feel and think that there is something ‘wrong’ with them, as narcissists tend to need the other person to be ‘wrong’ so that they can by comparison be ‘right’ – narcissists need comparison to build up their persona, maintain their identity and status, and they use others as a mirror, often as an ‘opposite’ reflection of themselves, projecting the ‘bad’ onto others so that they can remain in the ‘good’.

      While ‘crazy’ may well attract ‘crazy’… when it comes to narcissists they tend to appear a certain way (which is often anything but ‘crazy’) due to their persona, the facade they work so hard to create and show others, until you get to know them better (which can take many months, sometimes years), and the persona/facade begins to crack, slip, and their real self begins to show through the fake self.

      It can prove insightful to explore the ‘what is wrong with you for being in a relationship with a narcissist’ angle, however it’s worth keeping in mind that what’s ‘wrong’ with you is that you’re human and narcissists usually find the whole ‘being human’ thing to be a mystery which scares them.

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  2. I’ve also sometimes been alarmed at the number of search terms I get that indicate a desire to hurt. I’ve hoped that most are just prompted by revenge fantasies and not something that people actually try to do. I had one or two revenge fantasies myself.

    I have Cake on my Netflix list. Looking forward to watching it. 🙂

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    1. Revenge fantasies can be quite satisfying, they go a little ways towards restoring balance of power, and sometimes they’re insightful… fantasies can reveal things which had been overlooked.

      Cake is one of those gems of a film which goes off the beaten track, and every character is fascinating in their own way. It was not at all what I was expecting, and I would say it’s one of the best films I’ve seen in awhile.

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