Pluto Direct(ly) and Indirectly

Is this a post about astrology? – you ask no one in particular and the air inside your head in general, groaning a little or perhaps kind of excited about the prospect… which is it? Do you know?

I’m not sure if this is an astrology post – I answer into the void (you left behind when you ran away… or maybe you’re still there and it’s not a void at all, I should be wearing my glasses but I’m not), wondering to myself which it is and then segueing into an internal discussion about…

Alan Watts…

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he’s a Capricorn (I guess this is an astrology post)… I always thought he was an Aquarius (because he was so way out there, and he didn’t fit the rigid idea I had of Capricorns)… and I didn’t realise he was British until I heard his voice last night on Everything (an intriguing new game I just started playing…

is she playing yet another video game? – you ask seconds before you ask yourself why you’re asking that, why you care, why you bother to… but you’re not really asking that at all, or caring, or bothering… or maybe you are and are not at the same time…)

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This is a great game for those who don’t play well with others (or with rules, especially the rules others make up to make you play the way they’ve decided you should to suit their own gameplay and version of reality), and who like to roam freely in worlds created where you can do just that (doesn’t always feel as though you can do that in this world we call Planet Earth, for various reasons… like borders, walls, territorialism, terrorism, just to name a few of the obvious which are hot topics atm in the news… and there are physical limits even if we pretend there aren’t, we can’t actually fly even when we do actually fly)…

at one point during the ‘tutorial’ of the game I was told that if I felt ‘lost’ I could… I can’t remember what I was supposed to do if I felt lost because I was so not lost at all (even though I had ‘ascended’ – part of the game mechanics – as far as I could and I was a particle of fluorite or something science-y in space soup… which was very similar to when I ‘descended’ as far as I could and was a tiny spec of botulism deep underground).

Why are Capricorns so mean – is a search term which keeps popping up in my blog stats. Capricorns are mean because you keep making them appear that way to yourself so that you can feel not mean compared to them… when you ask – Why are Capricorns mean – you get to feel that your Sun sign is pretty awesome and nice, and that feels good, you’re here on the map, this is you, you look good, you’re nice, you know where and who you are, you’re not lost…

and because you keep trying to make them come back down to earth and be here for you when what they really want to do is float around as a shape singing to other shapes which don’t expect anything from them, and don’t need them to be something specific.

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People often tell me how nice I am… just before they ask for a favour, and if I say ‘no’ to doing what they want me to do, well, then they might tell me I’m mean. If your opinion of me changes that quickly based on those sort of parameters…

sometimes it is better to be considered a ‘mean’ person or Sun sign…

my natal Sun is aspected by my natal Pluto (which is Rx – thus the heavy, intense Pluto stuff is buried deep within and works inside to… do all sorts of destructive, constructive, transformations – I used to tie myself up in painful knots to get people to tell me I was nice, and when people told me I was mean I would be mortified, feel guilty, bad, and I wanted to make them love me… even if getting them to love me meant I’d end up hating myself due to the self-betrayal that sort of magical turning yourself into what you’re not to please others whose minds are always changing based on their needs manipulation may require… yep, I used to do that… sometimes still feel the twinge to do it, but then I remember where that merry-go-round goes)…

and my Sun is at the moment (a very long atm) being conjucted by transiting Pluto, and that transiting Pluto just turned ‘direct’ after a period of retrograde (Rx) motion (tbh, I prefer it when Pluto is Rx)…

what does that mean? Does it mean I’m mean?

Isn’t it weird how certain words have so many optional meanings (at least in English… off the top of my head I can’t think of any in another language I know, but I’m not trying hard to think of them… in fact I only got as far as cheese in French and that’s only because it’s ‘from age’ when you mess with it).

Just today I saw the word ‘pace’ being given a totally different definition from the one I thought it had… on Merriam Webster, so… apparently it can mean – contrary to the opinion of… – when I see the word ‘pace’ I think of ‘peace’ due to my Italian, just as the word ‘sale’ means salt to me – this house is for salt! Huge half-price salt! Buy now!!!

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excerpt via – Ruby Slipper Astrology: September 28th, 2017: Acceleration

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I do love salt! My favourite fairytale is Salt Over Gold ( from Old Peter’s Russian Tales) – it’s a very Pluto kind of tale.

When I was a child full of the wonder of things I used to wait for the sea to dry on my fingers and lick it off when I played in the ocean’s surf… the fact that I was most likely also licking dried raw sewage (a fact which only occurred to me after a turd floated by and someone, an adult, else in the sea at the time said that’s because the sewage pipes dump their waste into the ocean and the currents like karma bring it back to those who were trying to get rid of it…)… is a rather Plutonic experience and realisation.

If you have a prominent natal Pluto in your chart (like I do with it placed in the middle of the 1st house of self opposing Chiron conjunct NN in the 7th of others), your life will regularly remind you of your own darkness and the need to learn how to lick it up and deal with it… sometimes it will do that through others, through having to regularly put up with the darkness of others (like the meanness of Capricorns) until you own your own part in it and understand what it’s teaching (like a need for a change in your perspective – what if your definition of ‘mean’ is mean?)…

Someone asked me the other day (just as Pluto was stationing to turn direct) to help them with a project they were doing for university on children of narcissists/psychopaths. Today (as Pluto went direct) I replied and declined to participate… partly because my view that my parents are narcissists is subjective, maybe my parents aren’t that at all, maybe I’m that, maybe none of us are that…

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Maybe we have to experience people a certain way for us to experience ourselves in a certain way…

maybe it’ll all make sense once we stop trying to make sense of it, or once we stop trying to make it fit into a pair of jeans it just won’t fit into, using parameters which make it confusing…

when did we start thinking that parents had to be whatever narcissists aren’t when they’re parents…

when did we start thinking that we had to be who we’re not, and why when we know how much we hate that being imposed upon us do we then impose it on others? If we don’t like something that someone else is doing to us… why would we think they’d like it when we do it to them?

If you tell Capricorn that you think all Capricorns are mean – are you expecting Capricorn to suddenly become nice to and for you, ‘nice’ according to your definition of what nice is – and what is that definition, btw? When I see – Capricorn is mean – my first thought isn’t to agree with you (even if you may be right…), it’s not to disagree with with you either (all humans can be mean, especially when we’re in pain…), but to consider the position of someone saying someone else is mean – that’s a mean thing in and of itself. In my personal experience, when I think badly of someone else… it tends to make me become bad myself to a degree… and I may end up wondering if perhaps I’m not what’s wrong with the picture.

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If you’re having a Pluto transit to a natal position… and it’s been going on for awhile… you’ve probably found yourself asking some heavy-hitting questions which… you may be wishing you could stop asking because it’s turned all the clear waters in your life into mud baths (at least you hope it’s mud…).

Did you know that the poo of carnivores is used to fertilise fields where vegan feasts are grown? – is the sort of thing someone tripping on Pluto direct might suddenly say in the middle of dinner (a Mars transit might also be involved in that one if they said it to antagonise, or Uranus if they said it for shock value).

If you’ve only just started on a heavy Pluto transit to a natal position… it’s not as bad as ‘they’ say it is (I’ve barely noticed transiting Pluto conjunct my natal Sun… but I’m also kind of inured to the effect of these two when they’re in cahoots, my ego constructs getting blown to smithereens is normal and I’d miss it if it didn’t happen), but it isn’t going to be pretty either (it will however make you see the beauty in things you previously thought were ugly).

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excerpt via – TDJacobs: What you need to know if you’re going to kill yourself

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I used to think all Libras were loony… all Cancers were whiny… all Virgos were nit-picking perfectionists… and all Leos were my mother… until I investigated what was going on with those signs in my natal chart (and by transit) – we all have every sign within us in some way, so that whole idea that what you see in others is actually yourself reflected back at you, the bits of you that you can’t deal with transferred and projected onto to others…

When you take a step back and review your views… sure it can be uncomfortable, but it can also open up and launch you into a whole new comfort zone which doesn’t require so much control over what you can’t control – other people – even if sometimes they let you control them and that’s why we end up thinking that we can…

you sometimes let others think they have a measure of control over you, sometimes you do that because you believe that they do… a Pluto transit, or a natal Pluto wake-up call can change all of that…

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So, was this an astrology post… or was it about being human… was it both… neither… everything and…?

Over to you…

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