I was going to do a not-a-Narcie post today, but… as you can see I did a Narcie post.
Like a typical Narcissist, Narcie is taking over my blog… while protesting that she is not doing any such thing.
I must be mistaken.
She doesn’t mean to be invasive, that’s just her way… you wouldn’t want Narcie to have to change herself into someone she is not to suit you, would you?
Be mindful and let her be authentic.
Today Narcie has recovered from her sad
about January 1st not giving her a brand new life with all her dreams come true all at once.
But she’s not out of the blues’ woods yet.
The problem is that all those people she called on New Year’s day to share her woes with won’t let her forget that she behaved the way that she did and was in the mood that she was. She wishes they’d all forget about it because she wants to forget that it happened.
If you ask her about it, she’s going to deny that it happened and tell you that you’re remembering things all wrong. You were the one who called her and ruined her New Year’s day by sharing your bad and sad woes with her.
How selfish of you!
She was fine until you called!
Why must other people ruin everything for Narcie!
It’s just not fair!
She’s such a good person, she deserves better than this!
This episode is loosely based on my experiences with my mother apres-tantrum.
My mother believed that she was a good person.
But even good persons like her have their limits. While they are a martyr and saint at all times… they are allowed to have moments when they’re not (those moments only prove just how super saintly and what super martyrs they are).
Being a good person is a burdensome chore, and other people are always being bad persons who drive the good person crazy, until the good person blows a fuse, goes on a rampage, crying, screaming, throwing things… and then lecturing the bad person for hours once the good person has run out of tantrum steam.
About a few hours after (or maybe the day after, if the fit had occurred late at night) one of my mother’s fits… she would be filled with the narcissist’s version of remorse and be very very sorry that it had happened.
Basically she was embarrassed that she’d ‘acted out of character’ as it didn’t go with her good saintly person persona.
Her solution to getting rid of her remorse, embarrassment, and the uncomfortable truth of who she actually was and what she was actually like, was to put on a happy face and be super nice… and pretend nothing had happened.
It had all been a bad dream, there, there, stop making such a fuss about nothing (if I’d said something like that to her while she was in the midst of tantruming… a tantrum which often started over a nothing… well, it would have simply added more righteous fuel to her scorched earth policy of the moment).
Anyone (mainly me) who had witnessed her tantrum, had to forget about it. Wipe that data from your memory… or be a boring and difficult pain in her arse by reminding her that she had had an oopsie.
Her cheerfulness not long after having threatened to abandon me because I was a terrible child…
Her joy after having throw all my stuff around my room, knocking everything off shelves onto the floor, because she couldn’t stand the pigsty anymore…
Her joking and kidding after she’d just lectured me for hours after screaming at me, told me all the awful truths about myself and what hell my existence caused for her…
It was surreal…
She was euphoric… because she’d unburdened herself of all her stress, and now she was light as a feather. Happy… la la la tra…
Ugh! What was wrong with me, why was I being such a heavy, serious, tiresome, bore by moping, looking so glum, and what was with all the whining… I was bringing her down, ruining her good person good mood… life was beautiful and I should smile and enjoy it!
New day, new her… but how long would it last this time?