In spite of the fact that my software keeps crashing and my computer keeps whirring like it’s on its last breath, heating up until I could possibly fry an egg on it (if I wanted to do something like that).
In spite of my not having enough RAM to deal with Narcie The Narcissist and her (life story’s) episodes.
In Narcie The Narcissists’s Last Episode, she was doing this…:
But that was soooooo last week!
This week things are totally different!
Narcie is in LOVE!!!!
In spite of the fact that this is about a narcissist falling in love, which when that happens can fry even the sturdiest and stablest, realist, practicalist, of brains…
If you’re one of those people who thinks that you’d never ever fall for a narcissist… that’s okay, maybe you won’t, but you’re kind of setting yourself up to be perfect prime pickings for a narcissist because you’re special (your fortress around your heart is obviously hiding a great treasure!) and a narcissist has a knack for finding special people like you and then…
you won’t know what happened, how it happened, what hit you and how your safety measures failed to stop such a thing hitting you.
This shouldn’t have happened to you, but it did – WTF!?! How……
Part of you won’t care, the rest of you will care too much for the rest of your relationship life.
Once you’ve been narcissisted in love… it’s difficult to get over it because it taps into something which only wakes up and is aware of itself once you’ve been narcissisted in love.
Maybe Dirk Gently could help you figure it out.
He did help me to somehow managed to pull things together, get things to work and create the next episode of Narcie The Narcissist:
We can all be a bit narcissistic about love. We’re sort of trained to do that so it’s not really our fault. It’s no one fault really. Humans pass things on… sometimes those things are helpful… sometimes they’re meant to be helpful but aren’t… sometimes they’re just not helpful and yet… maybe they will be one day (or not never).
The subject of love is complicated and confusing… and that’s before we experience it ourselves.
Once we experience it ourselves… take the leap and jump without looking (because no one would jump into love if they looked first as it’s basically a steep high cliff with sharp painful stuff waiting for you to hit every single one of the ripping, tearing edges on your way down but you think you can fly and will go up therefore missing all the flesh-goring, heart-shattering, etc things which won’t apply to you)… we realise that it’s even more complicated and confusing than we thought it was when we lived it vicariously through others.
We kind of practice with it when we read fairytales, listen to the stories of others about being in love, hear the songs, watch the films…
But things will be different for us (perhaps because we read the tales, heard the songs, watched the films).
We won’t make the mistakes everyone else makes and made because… we’re us AND our loved one, the object of our affection, passion, obsession, is different like we are (if they weren’t we wouldn’t have fallen in love with them!).
But love isn’t something we can control even when we think we’re totally in control of it.
It’s an impulse which falls into that category known as – The Hard Problem (I haven’t read all of this article, but the bit I read of it was interesting and maybe I’ll read the rest of it sometime or other).
Just as we don’t really know what ‘consciousness’ is… we really don’t know what love is.
And just as with consciousness, we have a lot of theories about love… and some of those theories seem so real to us that we end up concluding – we know what it is even if others are all doubtful doubters who doubt about it.
I, personally, have only ever fallen in love-love once. It’s still an ongoing experience, which shifts as I shift, and challenges me along the flow of it to rethink and refeel what I think I know and feel that I feel.
I consider myself very lucky to have had the opportunity, and the experience.
There was a long time in my life when I didn’t think I could love or be loved, I didn’t think I was lovable, and I didn’t think anyone would ever love me (at least not the me that I truly was/am) unless I became someone I was not and would never be.
Because… both of my parents were narcissists (according to me, of course).
Nothing could ever compare to their LOVE. It was the kind of Love Story… which is the typical version of a Love Story you will hear a narcissist tell (which tends to be based on all the fiction a narcissist has bought into as reality – fairytales, romance novels, romantic films, songs of love, etc). It’s a story about obsession, possession, control, and other impulses and compulsions which humans don’t understand but think we do and which we attempt to box into a coherent cohesive narrative to tell ourselves and especially others all about.
As Narcie The Narcissist’s New Love progresses through its stages…
if you relate to anything she’s going through or will go through, please keep in mind that this does not = you’re a narcissist or that someone else in your life (your love life) is a narcissist.
Human love is often narcissistic…
This isn’t because humans are narcissists, although that may play a momentary part in it… it’s just that something like love tends to take us through the stages of human development in a way which stirs up all those hidden things within us and… being narcissistic about it is a reaction to what gets stirred up and how it affects us… for awhile… until we’re able to process it, absorb it, understand it… and make more sense of it.
Does that make sense?