Narcie The Narcissist’s Big Love Problem

With a narcissist things can escalate quicker than you can say the word – escalate.

One minute they’re blissfully happy, then you blink your eyes (you didn’t mean to, you knew you shouldn’t have done it, but it happened almost as though such a thing as blinking can’t be controlled) and all shitstorminahellteacup has broken loose.

If you ever think – OMG soandso is such a drama queen – chances are soandso may be a narcissist (that’s not an official diagnostic device so don’t use it on your friends, family and other people as it may get you into trouble and you’ll blame me to get yourself out of trouble and then I’ll be in trouble… which is a default location for me but that doesn’t mean I like it any more than you do). You do have to take the scenario into account as a person may be involved in a very dramatic situation which means that being a drama queen about it is logical reaction.

With a narcissist it sometimes is a logical reaction to a bloody mess they’ve created and so naturally they’re being all drama queen about the bloody mess (which someone else created – not them, they did not make this mess!).

Yet, often it’s illogical.

A narcissist can have the same melodramatic response to having their leg accidentally cut off as they would if they misplaced their sunglasses (which are on top of their head, you pointed that out expecting to be a hero to them for finding their missing sunglasses but instead of being relieved and knighting you with a grateful thank you things have escalated even more and it’s all your fault).

In the previous episode of Narcie The Narcissist, she was blissfully happy:

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Then someone blinked.

Who TF blinked!?

What’s that?

You’re all saying: It wasn’t me! You’re all innocent… I guess it must have been me.

No, I’m not going to pass the buck as that buck just keeps getting passed around in a circle until it ends up back at me, so I’m saving us all some time and effort (aren’t I a frigging saint) and owning it so we can all move on.

To the next episode:

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As a child I got used to that wonderfully ugh feeling known as waiting for the other shoe to drop. You couldn’t be sure when that shoe stuck to the ceiling was going to fall and whack you on the head (wiping whatever was keeping it glued to the ceiling off on you) but you knew it was going to happen (and it was going to stink).

Don’t relax – relaxing is…

well, actually, relaxing is the surest way to hasten the other shoe falling.

In retrospect I should have relaxed more as the tense wait for that shoe to drop was agony. Sometimes the wait was more agonising than the melodrama Drama DRAMA! which came with the shoe’s fall. Sometimes the drama was more agonising than the tensed-up wait.

For some reason though, if you have to spend time around a narcissist you end up… so screwed up that your whole life becomes all about different shades of agony, with some seeming preferable to others, almost pleasant: “Oooooh, now this agony, this one is rather comfy! I wonder how I can keep comfy agony going and keep the other kinds of agony at bay? Hmmmm…”

You become an agony connoisseur.

One of the experiences which falls under comfy agony is when your personal narcissist has their attention focused on someone else, especially a new someone else.

Of course it’s all going to end in disaster and then you’ll be thrown into twisted body parts agony as the narcissist runs back to you to tell you all about the new melodrama Drama DRAMA and their new bestworst enemy who is ruining their plans for a happily ever after.

But…

until then…

you can settle, for a fairly predictable amount of time, into comfy agony tensely waiting for the other shoe to drop.

2 comments

  1. I know about this (as you know) and witnessed it many times from my mother and sister. I remember one time when I was in my late teens and thinking to myself, OMG, not this again! I got really pissed off with it, and just more or less ignored her (my mother). I think that was one of those many first steps you take in detaching yourself from the drama, Drama DRAMA.

    This series is really informative and breaks down the whole narcissist experience into easily understood chunks. Very good for people who are just starting to figure this stuff out (although I’m benefitting from it too – makes want to predict 🙂 ).

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    • Thank you for sharing 🙂

      There is a point at which the constant drama Drama DRAMA fries your system and you can’t react to it anymore. The sooner that happens the better, as long as you have a plan or a way to get away. It took me ages to get the eff out. In some ways I kind of inflicted it on myself for far longer than I should have. My reasoning was that of a hostage with stockholm syndrome, although of course I did not see it that way at the time.

      It’s intriguing to create the Narcie episodes. I’m learning quite a bit from it by doing it. 🙂

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