Wherever You Throw Me, I Will Stand

[Please note: This is a repost of a post published in November 2013.

Wow, what a cool dream! And since before I reread this post, I’d reread several of the other posts I’d written in November 2013, this dream is particularly meaningful, showing how my blogging was affecting my psyche, helping me to shift out of a place where I had been stuck for a long period of my life.

This morning I woke up from a dream in which I bought a ‘dream’ home, only to later discover that parts of it were missing (such as whole sections of flooring – the toilet was suspended over a gaping hole above the room below, I’m not sure what was keeping it aloft, magic maybe). I cursed myself in the dream for being so foolish as to leap without really looking properly at where I was leaping (I thought I had, there were no holes, nothing missing, I checked and double-checked afraid of making the very mistake I ended up making, but…), but then I removed the curse which I put on myself because I reasoned that things were exactly as they needed to be, and I didn’t look properly because I needed to make that particular leap which looking properly would have stopped me from doing. Last night’s dream doesn’t need much interpretationย  – it is reflecting how I feel sometimes about the house I live in. I’m doing DIY atm, and… the to-do list is constantly being added to causing the done list to pale into insignificance. However the experience as a whole is healing – more shifting out of stuck places is occurring.

I chose this post to repost because its message suits the now as it did the then. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how much of my life I’ve spent living in fear – you name it and I was afraid of it. It started when I was a child (I was actually conceived due to fear… and I was supposed to fix those fears with my birth – but of course things didn’t work out as planned for those doing the planning) and was made responsible for the terrors of the adults around me who expected me to protect them from everything and everyone at all times. If one of them got hurt in any way at all (including stubbing a toe, breaking a glass, having an emotion or thought which they didn’t want to have, buying something which disappointed their expectations of it, people not doing what they wanted, etc) I had failed in protecting them. I had to also protect them from themselves – Why did I let them do such and such!?! – and from myself – apparently I was the most fearsome fear of the lot which made me permanently afraid of myself. It got to the point where I felt responsible for every person in the world – why wasn’t I saving everyone!?!

I know it’s ridiculous, but the ridiculous sometimes doesn’t seem that way.

Luckily I had pockets of non-fear zones I could shrink into – one of those were my dreams during sleep. Even when they were fear-filled too, at least therein I had some personal power. There were periods in my life when I waited for the day to be over so I could get back to the ‘real’ world in dreams. Who I was in my dreams was more of a ‘real’ me than who I was during waking life. Waking life was just too surreal…

In some ways waking life only began to make more sense to me when I started to treat it as though it was a dream/nightmare which needed interpreting.

I know, I’m crazy… or am I]


The_Three_Legs_of_Man,_Ronaldsway_Airport_-_geograph.org.uk_-_Kevin RothwellThe Three Legs of Man, Ronaldsway Airport by Kevin Rothwell via geograph.org.uk


The title of this post is a loose translation of the motto of the Isle of Man – Quocunque Jeceris Stabit – which goes with the symbol, the triskelion, of the three legs on the Manx coat of arms.

I was actually searching for something else, but the motto struck me as being exactly what I needed so, for now, my search is over.

Last night I dreamed of a three-legged creature. Throughout the dream I kept thinking – I’ve seen that creature before in a film or a video game – but it is difficult to pause and think, especially to remember something from your waking life, when you are in the midst of dreaming.

Everyone who populated my dream was frightened of these three-legged creatures. They appeared suddenly without any warning, would lock on to a human and chase them, if they caught you, you disappeared, never to be seen again.

There were rumours and convoluted tales of what happened to you after you disappeared. Some believed these creatures were hellspawn sent to drag people to Hell, others thought they were aliens looking for ingredients for their version of Soylent Green, a few were convinced they were a mutant created in Mother Earth’s womb who were avenging the rape of the planet by greedy humans. None of the stories had happy endings. No matter what version people believed all agreed that the creatures were bad and those caught by them would suffer. No wonder they were afraid.

I was in a house, which apparently was mine, with a group of friends. A creature had been spotted inside the house and so we all headed for the living room to barricade ourselves in there.

There was a moment before we shut the door when one of the group was going to be sacrificed to the creature. Everyone, including the person about to be sacrificed, had got it into their heads that the creature had targeted him, he was a marked man and if we gave him up the creature would go away. The man was terrified, but willing to do what he had to do to protect the others. As I stood on the threshold on the door, I looked at the man, then at the others huddled in the room and decided that in a room full of cowards a brave man was of great value, so I grabbed the man and dragged him inside then shut the door.

There was a bit of an uproar which died down quickly as non-human footsteps were heard upstairs, echoing eerily through the empty rooms of the house. The creature was on the move and on the hunt. Silent terror gripped the room and the people in it.

I stood with my back against the door, holding the handle. It was an old house and the door did not fit the frame properly, nor did it shut as well as it should. I was using my body as a barricade. My eyes scanned the faces of the people in the room who were all as far from me and the door as the small space would allow. I realised that I did not know any of them. Who were they? They were supposed to be friends, just like this was supposed to be my house, but although there was a certain familiarity, it was one born out of being told something and believing it without verifying if it was true.

As I pondered this strangeness, another thought formed. How long would I be stuck here, holding the door closed against some mythical creature, protecting a bunch of people whose only emotion was fear. I was trapped in a fear-filled room. That fear would eventually reach me and take hold of me too. In this moment I was not afraid, I was just responding to the fear of others. They were frightened of those creatures, I was not. What if those creatures were not bad at all.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, not the one I was keeping shut, but the front door. The fear in the room expanded and pushed against me trying to get inside of me. I reacted without thinking. I opened the door behind me and slipped into the hallway, closing the living room door after me. I could hear the voices of the people crying out at my folly. I ignored them.

The hall was empty. No creature to be seen or heard. I walked up to the front door and opened it. A woman stood on the porch, she stepped back in shock when I appeared. My house it seemed was her house and I was not someone she knew. I looked at her with the same look she was giving me, then my eyes shifted to the street and saw that it was different from what it should be. The world outside was a different one from the one I knew.

I stepped out into the street and looked around. Then I returned my gaze to the woman who had been slowly backing away from me. It dawned on me that she thought I was one of those creatures, and then I realised I thought the same thing about her.

I reached out to her and as I touched her arm transparent tentacles wrapped themselves around my arm. I waved my arm to loosen the grip of the tentacles and the world around me vanished to be replaced by yet another version of it. I waved my arm again, only this time I floated upwards, pulled up by the tentacles, and as I watched the world below get further and further below, a crust formed over it. I caught a glimpse of the living room with people in it, the crust enveloped them and another world formed on top of the crust.

I grabbed a piece of crust and ate it. It tasted like cookies.

That’s when I woke up. It was too early to get up so I just drifted in semi-consciousness reviewing the dream. It occurred to me that the people in the room probably thought I had been caught by the creature and had disappeared. But I had not disappeared, they had, I had crossed over into another version of reality. Perhaps that is what had happened to all those others who had vanished. Perhaps these creatures were reality shifters.

There are times in our lives when our reality shifts. What we thought was the real world changes, sometimes subtly, sometimes dramatically. An incident, an event, catches us in its grip and transforms us. We are no longer who we were and so how we perceive the world around us changes, is no longer what we thought it was, and others are no longer who we thought they were.

For a while we are adrift, without ground beneath our feet. What is real and what is not real? We are not sureโ€ฆ at some point we land, perhaps with a bump, but still we end up wherever we are thrown and we stand.


  1. Like you I dreamed of a house the other day. My house was dilapidated, filthy, filled with random people who I guess were family; a killer was trying to get me and my oldest son(my oldest is always 6 mos old) and it was always a mad dash to get through twist and turns to make it out the door. But I was more concerned about the state of this house though. Having looked it up a dirty house reflects pain from a partner- I was angry at hubby for being inconsiderate(we made up though). Or having a dream about an infestation of canker worms (worms that are green and eat trees here in the south) reflects money woes which we were enduring.

    It’s amazing how dreams can be our sanctuary or can be our Hell.


    • Thank you for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

      Dreams are very intriguing. Many years back I read about a study which had been done on the psychological/physiological function of dreams, which focused upon what happens to people when they don’t experience REM sleep. Those who weren’t allowed to dream had more difficulty coping with waking life than those who dreamed – it didn’t matter if they recalled dreaming or not. They reckon that during REM sleep our brains are sorting things out – working out issues, and cleaning out our inner house – removing toxins.


      • What does your 12th house say in your horoscope?

        I love dreams.. and to unravel them.

        Lately when i was reading a book (laying on my belly) i dozed off but..
        In my dreams.. i was still reading the book, processing it.. realizing whats written down, didnt make sense, then realizing i was awake in my dream.
        To wake up with slobber on my book and cramp in my neck..
        Also some sort of out of body experience.. which i think are cool.. so our spirits take flight at night.

        I also had horrible experiences in the past, tongue clamped up between my teeth which i couldnt move and somebody on top of me. Some sort of evil spirit. But.. it was real.. i was trying hard to wake up and go back to my body, he wouldnt let me and i couldnt breathe.. until i surrendered thinking i was gonna die.. i woke up with my tongue still stuck between my teeth.
        I panicked and was even afraid it was still in the room.. checked my tongue and i could see the marks.

        I did read this the other day which reminded me of that dream i had.
        There is a video explanation..


        • It sounds as though you had an incident of hypnagogic sleep paralysis (https://www.tuck.com/sleep-paralysis/). I had one of those ages ago and have written about it in posts as it helped to get me out of a very negative spiral by scaring the crap out of me. It feels very real because you’re partially awake (yet still dreaming) while your body is still in sleep mode (hence the paralysis).


          • I only had it once.. that was around the time i had clairvoyance experiences.
            A father in law of my sister told me: theres still money in the draw. With the need to call my sister. But.. my sister called me so i told her.. i dont know what it means but i have to let you know hes got money in his drawer.
            Few days later she called me back and yes.. her sister in law found a large some of money there and wanted control over the spending. I sensed he (deseased person) wanted fair share.
            I had a lot of those phenomena’s.
            No drugs or anything.
            I had a lot of fear yes. Newly mom and the responsibilties.
            So if having those phenomena’s make me schizo of bi polair ??? (Never was diagnosed) how do you explain the righteous of it?
            I was surprised with it all.. so i shut it all off. Weird stuff..


  2. I don’t often remember my dreams anymore, but when I do they’re usually pretty straightforward – a talk about travel will produce a dream about waiting at an airport, for instance. They used to be really rich and sometimes incredibly fearsome. I like a lot of things about aging, but that’s not one of them. ๐Ÿ™‚


    • Thank you for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

      I really like straightforward dreams, there’s something reassuring about them, like an inner confirmation that you’re in tune with yourself, that there’s a good flow of communication within, that the unconscious, subconscious, and conscious are on the same page. The inner drama tends to ramp up when there’s outer drama to contend with which is blocking up the system in some way and needs unblocking/rebalancing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • This is an interesting example – I read your post yesterday and then last night I dreamed that you came to Canada (by bus! – it’s funny how dreams will put an odd twist on things) and I waited for you at a bus station at an unidentified dream location. You got off the bus (very tall and model-like) and I recognised you from one of the photos you posted some time ago. Then we went to Newfoundland to look at icebergs. I’m not sure why we did that in particular because I don’t recall anything lately about icebergs, but I did watch an Anthony Bourdain show about Newfoundland a few weeks ago.

        Bet you didn’t know you were doing so much travelling while I was asleep. ๐Ÿ™‚ It was a dream that very much reflected contentment.


        • HAHA ๐Ÿ˜€

          I do travel quite a bit in my dreams, and sometimes I wake up exhausted. I can also speak (and sing… oh my noes!) in several different languages in dreams which I don’t know in RL… and understand them. I’ve recently been spending some time in South Korea in dreams (due to binge-watching k-dramas), so I probably decided to visit with you on my way there or back since I’d love to do that in RL. About a week ago I did read about ‘iceberg tourism’, where people go to view spectacular icebergs off the coast of Newfoundland (https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2018/06/05/iceberg-with-hollow-archway-in-centre-draws-tourists-to-eastern-newfoundland-cove.html). But really your dream is about you and not me, so me in your dreams is actually you… but thank you very much for the flattering version of me which exists in you ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Liked by 1 person

          • You’re welcome. ๐Ÿ™‚ It was a very pleasant, enjoyable dream. ๐Ÿ™‚

            Thank you – interesting article with the great picture of the keyhole iceberg. ๐Ÿ™‚

            I have no idea why icebergs came into it except that I did know of iceberg alley.

            It’s amazing what we can do and accomplish in our dreams. I used to be able to fly like Superman – I loved those dreams.

            Any time you decide to visit in RL let me know. I’ll meet you at the bus. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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