I often see bloggers doing – Open Posts (where the blogger shares whatever and then others can share whatever in the comments) – and/or – Share Your World Posts (where the blogger shares their world and then others share their world in the comments which may or may not be connected to what the blogger shared. Sometimes the blogger will ask questions, answer them, then invite others to answer them).
I love the idea… although when I first came across those kinds of posts, particularly the open posts, I was very confused about what was happening (but that’s a normal status for me).
Q: What would you say was a normal status for you?
I’m an INTP.
So I thought I’d try it out on my blog (although I’ve sort of always viewed all my posts and my blog like that, like a bit of a free for all which sometimes makes me squee and sometimes makes me grumble – grumbling used to be a normal status for me too but recently it seems to have eased off. Not sure why, maybe because I’m allowing myself to squee more so I don’t need to grumble so much).
Q: Is there anything you’ve allowed yourself to do more of which has shifted your experience of yourself?
Before you share yours, I’m going to share mine. I used to always let everyone else go first, partly because I’m nice and polite (hahahaha…), but mostly because I usually get this whole sharing thing so awkwardly wrong (as in TMI or too intense or mistakenly thought I was actually being asked to share my real self and real life when what was required was a water-downed socially appropriate not-self-self with a not-real-life-life) that I need someone else to set the parameters. But I’m almost 50 now (and feeling loud and proud about it) so… who cares if I’m awkward and wrong or more to the point yay for being awkwardly wrong (is that attitude awkward and wrong!?)!
Q: Has aging actually been a bonus rather than a minus for you?
My week started off (probably not on Monday… I’ve always had a loose sense of time, and still do, but nowadays I don’t let it make me as anxious and uptight as I used to) with an unplanned power cut. My month started off with a planned powercut. I live in what is known as a rural area, and powercuts are a common occurrence, especially during a storm. The unplanned powercut was due to a storm, and announced itself at 3 am with machines which make a noise doing so intermittently as the electricity went on/off/on/off/on/off. I rolled out of bed (I sleep on a mattress which is on the floor – no monsters can hide under that!), groggily made my way to the fuse box and switched the whole thing off at the mains, then went back to bed and to sleep – I roll and rock like that!
The following morning the powercut was still ongoing – luckily our local power network company is surprisingly efficient (and has a surprisingly excellent customer service) and they fixed it ASAP when they said they would.
In the past powercuts made me feel really vulnerable and powerless in more ways than the obvious (except when I was a child as they were usually connected to lightning storms and I loved those… my parents had a generator so, there was that too). These days I appreciate the pause in routine and the silence – it’s amazing how many things buzz which we don’t hear until they stop buzzing.
Q: What does a powercut mean for you, metaphorically or otherwise?
I changed my blog header. It was time. While I loved the previous header (which is the featured image of this post) as I have loved all previous headers, it was time for a change because I have shifted slightly in my relationship with my blog.
I changed the header on the day before the Aries full moon. I’m one of those people who likes astrology. But just because I like it doesn’t mean I never question it. I’ve been dipping in and out of it since I was about 14 yrs old.
Sometimes it explains things when nothing else can, gives me another language to explain something, sometimes it just makes everything more complicated.
Sometimes it hits the spot, sometimes it doesn’t.
The predictions for the Aries full moon which I read on my favourite astrology blogs were way off the mark for me even though the full moon and the planets which were in aspect to it all hit natal placements in my chart (with conjunctions, squares and oppositions). On that day I had a sudden rush of hush, of complete calm, which is still active and rippling through me – it was as though whatever has been powering my general malaise about me being me and living life my way (which always seemed to be the wrong way) throughout my existence had a sudden powercut which is still ongoing.
Since the end of 2017 there’s been an issue which has been causing surges of varying degrees of anxiety within me – I suddenly felt as though it was all going to be okay even if the worst case scenario which I could imagine (and I have a vivid imagination when it comes to WCS’s like most people with anxiety) happened.
Q: Have you ever thought/felt that you were broken (or had finally fractured after an extended period of too much stress) and that this was actually a good thing?
I prefer astrology to psychology (which I also like, and like to question – my godfather/uncle was a child psychologist who… didn’t really seem to understand children at all and my narcissist parents had fun with that, with him, with using him against me. I wished I had asked him why… why he became a child psychologist. I bet the real answer which he probably wouldn’t have given me would have been interesting) which to me is always saying in sing-song – you’re effed and you know you are (but you refuse to know you are). I know I’m effed, thank you very much, most humans are… simply by being born into the humaniverse.
I prefer philosophy to psychology and astrology. Why? Why indeed…
Being human is an impossipuzzle within the escher-sketch of the humaniverse.
Q: What’s your favourite subject (or subjective perspective) and why?
I recently started watching – Instinct – with Alan Cummings playing a psychology professor (amongst other things). In the very first episode he offers a student in his class a passing grade if that student hits him. The student does nothing. He then says he’ll fail the student if the student doesn’t hit him. The student does nothing. He then offers the student a million dollars to hit him. This goes on until the point is made – a good human versus a bad human is a matter of context and opinion. Or something like that. It’s a silly and superficial show… which is sometimes the best show to get some points about being human across since we’re not guarded when we watch it because we think we’re smarter and deeper than it is.
Also recently watched:
Million Yen Women – which is an awesome Japanese psychological thriller which will test your biases, opinions, criteria of judgment, and thinking. The literary critic is probably my favourite character because he’s such a type who regularly stalks the world of human and likes to tell everyone else what to love and hate, often accumulating power to do so and abusing it, his reasoning is deeply flawed and motivated by anything but appreciation for truth.
Erased – a Japanese TV series based on a Manga about a man/boy who gets sucked back in time and given the opportunity to relive a moment in time to adjust it. It gets more and more complicated and there’s a rather stereotypical villain, but the story is fascinating as it deals with all those things which steer us one way or another in life… and which sometimes cause us to look back and wish we could do things differently.
Wished – a Chinese film about having random wishes you’ve made granted and the consequences which ensue.
The Post – this is a based on a true story film. It was interesting but not as interesting as reading the Wiki bios for the real life people (and the other real people connected to them) the characters were based upon. You know that saying – truth is stranger than fiction… that in spades!
Doctor Strange – this is one of those films based on a Marvel comic. I tend to avoid those except when I don’t. Sometimes I like to watch things my bias tells me I’ll hate. I sort of liked it, perhaps in part because the ‘hero’ is an a-hole. Who better to deal with a villain a-hole than a hero who’s an a-hole too? It posed some interesting questions. And it had a lot of metaphysical elements… I do like me some metaphysical elements.
I also tried watching a new TV show which claimed to have metaphysical elements but in the first few minutes of the first episode some character associated Paracelsus with doom predictions related to crows and I just… nah!
Q: What have you recently watched and do you know why you watched it? Did you learn anything from it?
I like watching TV shows and film… sometimes it helps me to understand life, humans, myself. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it can make me hate myself… that happens most often when a TV show or film is hammering home a ‘social must’.
Q: What do you think I mean by a ‘social must’?
Hint: The Cosby Show used to hammer those ‘social must’ nails into our viewing skulls… yeah… hmmmmkay…
Let’s move on shall we…
When I changed my header, I also decided that I should adjust my blog’s main menu. I was going to add a link in the menu to a page where people could ask questions, comment or make a suggestion… and I probably still will do it, but it’s on pause atm because as I was trying to sort that out…
Someone commented on a recent post and made a great suggestion for a post about finding your balance in a relationship with a narcissist. Because sometimes people can’t cut a narcissist completely out of their life picture even if they want to.
I did write a draft post for it but I decided not to go ahead with publishing it due to it being a bit too me – this isn’t a bad thing, it’s just that… sometimes me being me and expressing that is only interesting and comprehensible to me. For instance I got very sidetracked in my draft post by the title of the post – I couldn’t think of one and decided to use an online Title Generator. The results from the various Title Generators with which I experimented made me laugh, want to rant, cough up a loogie, and go hmmm…
Narcissist: The Samurai Way
That particular result (above) made me go off on a several very long and winding and twisted tangents, one of which had to do with cultural appropriation. Then I switched cultures because I was reminded of a book which became a business world must-read. I even uploaded an image (see below) about the latter:
Q: Have you ever forced yourself to read a must-read book? Which one and why?
That’s it from me today. I’m sure I’ll recall many things I’ve forgotten once I press ‘publish’ on this post. And I’ll probably have a period of regret about what I have shared in this post – ugh! why did I say that!?! (those ugh things you say are sometimes the best rather than the worst… especially when they’re the natural wild unfiltered you finding a way to escape from your self-control).
The wanting comes in waves… and yet sometimes it stops waving and wanting.
Over to you!
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I enjoyed your responses greatly, in fact so much so that I ‘borrowed’ some of them for my own post. We think eerily alike you and I…
Here’s the link to my own post. Thanks for doing this. It was fascinating!
Thank you very much for sharing, Melanie 🙂 I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and answers!
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‘Pisces has an old soul…’ which is in a way true for me. I feel aged when I was young. Probably it is this old soul and my childhood experience that taught me to be detached from things or even reality. However, there are some things/beliefs/person I hold on to within by choice. When real time aging takes place, my soul feels more weary and down but life can’t go on this way. So put my soul to rest and replace my conscious Self with a younger and positive but revised mentality (hope I’m making sense here). Anyhow, aging is a bonus for me as I’m maturing bit by bit with age…lol took me a long time though. Also, I feel an additional sense of confidence that removes those feelings of insecurity I had in the past. A fine wine gets better with age 🙂
Psychology was my favourite subject in my teenage but as time passed I sometimes see it more of a fallacy than astrology. Last few days, I plotted out my Ziwei chart (the chart generators online sucks) planning to re-investigate when there is time and compare it with the Pisces birth chart (I haven’t complete reading my chart report yet). And of course, there is philosophy a very wide subject, I’m more into the metaphysics and religion aspect of it. I’d in the past tried reading Aristotle on logic, would fell alseep every time without fail not reading pass three pages…hehe
During midweek, I was exploring WP themes again suitable for creating a subdomain in Chinese. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. At first, I thought to just add a page/category but decided that I don’t like the idea of having a bilingual site. The subdomain is still just an idea.
I forced myself thru a book once…is the book must-read? Hmm…not really. But I did so because I wanted to get the whole picture of what the author is trying to say. That book was Fooled by Randomness by Nassim Taleb, talks about random chance and luck, ah and philosophical logic that’s why I need to forced myself thru. Surprisingly, I went on to read his second book The Black Swan when it was released, this focus on probability and uncertainty. The third in his series Antifragile – How to Live in a World We Don’t Understand, the title and tagline is very intriguing, but I did not finish reading.
The Sun-Tzi Art of War…I read that not because I’m interested in the business world. Rather I was interested in that period of China history and military literature. Of these Chinese war/political strategic classics, I personally enjoying reading Guiguzi more than the Art of War.
These books were all read long ago, I haven’t read an entire book in the last 5/6 years i think…
Thank you very much for sharing 🙂
There’s always so much richness and depth in your words. And humour 😀 I totally LOL-ed at your falling asleep while reading a book. There are a couple of books which have done that for me too.
I also haven’t read as much in recent years, mostly because of the availability of information on the internet – not sure why I don’t count reading stuff on the internet as reading. There’s something about a book in book form.
This is one of my fav sites online – http://www.sacred-texts.com/
Many years ago when the ‘New Age’ movement was all the rage in the West, the concept of being an ‘old soul’ became popular. Pretty much everyone suddenly claimed to be ‘an old soul’… it became one way people explained depression, anxiety, loneliness, and other malaises of being, such as the inability to fit in, feeling out of sync with society, with the time, the age, to themselves and then to others. Some people who say they’re old souls may well be old souls… others, hmmm… who knows.
I always felt ancient when I was younger, now that I’m older I feel like a newb – that’s supposedly very typical of a Capricorn, we’re supposed to age backwards. So, I guess in a few years I’ll be a baby 😉
The Ziwei chart is most likely more precise and detailed than Western astrology. I’m tempted to explore, but I probably won’t. I am intrigued by what you’ll discover.
Here’s my take on you – whatever you do, you do it with style, with wisdom of thought, with passion, and with a spark of something which is ethereal.
I just finished a post which supposedly began as my answers (to myself) to your open questions in this blog 😉 Take a peek? Though as usual, it drifted elsewhere and far away…lol
One question for you, not in/out of context:
Do you think there is a parallel universe?
That’s awesome! I shall take a proper longer peek this evening 🙂
Drifting in posts, in my opinion, is one of the pleasures of writing posts! Your words are a stream…
Do I think there is a parallel universe?
I’m open to the idea. I wouldn’t be unduly shocked if there was. I also wouldn’t be overly disappointed if there wasn’t.
There have been times in life when I felt as though I’ve stepped over some invisible threshold from one reality into another. I have occasionally wondered if a version of me in a different timeline had changed their path, taking an alternative course to another previous them-me in that timeline, causing ripples into my timeline, and I’ve wondered the vice versa of that – had a shift in my attitude rippled out to change the past, thus changing a past-me’s experience of their present which in turn would change present-me’s experience of the past and present.
Since I’m not sure what this universe is exactly… what is a parallel universe?
I like some of the theories I’ve read about it, and have enjoyed books, films, and TV shows which used it. Really enjoyed Fringe, very silly but great fun. I reckon a parallel universe wouldn’t be what humans tend to think of it as being. As in there isn’t another us who looks like us but lives differently. Or maybe it would be that, or is that too and not that too.
What about you?
Lol, there is definitely another parallel universe that exists in my mind made of my imagination
Well, maybe there is another me, in another space time and maybe sometimes crossover for brief seconds…once I had this feeling asking myself ‘Where am I?’ when I was seated at a regular spot, not drugged not drunk and clearly on a sunny day…
Oh,,the way you described a Piscean in another comment was so funny made my foot laugh. Are the examples of ‘your toilet overflow’ and ‘car break down’ metaphors or RL fixes? When I get an emotions overflow, i do imagine flushing them down the bowl. The ‘car break in the middle of nowhere’ does reminds me of an incident too…spare the details here I could write a post on that haha
You mentioned about the shift in your blog experience and describing what I see as calmness when facing the outcome of your issue, surely these are positives flowing in your direction. Turning 50 can be magical… Time to jazz up your life, baby! 😉
Excuse me (hope it doesn’t sound rude) using baby but you guessed you’ll be one in few years so…Hehe lol
My apologies, this particular comment of yours ended up in the spam folder – it happens occasionally with WordPress.
I think the ‘baby’ had to be said when saying something like “Time to jazz up your life” – it’s jazz baby 😉
I love this – “there is definitely another parallel universe that exists in my mind made of my imagination” – that is perfection! Last night I watched Animal World (Dong wu shi jie) and what you said reminds me of that.
I sometimes have the “Where am I?” feeling but then I am an airhead (Merc in Aqua can space out so far that you end up in the stratosphere, or on another planet – have you ever played No Man’s Sky?). When I traveled a lot I would regularly wake up confused about where I was. There are times when there’s a bit of a shift and the world around you can appear completely different, your focus sees what it hadn’t seen before, and what you did see before may blur.
I have quite a significant Piscean influence in my natal chart, I used that as inspiration for the Pisces bit I wrote. I’ve found there is often a coincidence between emotional build-up and water-related problems, like overflows or burst pipes. The overflowing toilet wasn’t a metaphor 😉 I used to want to cry when that kind of thing happened, nowadays I just turn off the mains and get the wrench. That’s jazz, Baby!
No worries at all about my comments winding up in the spam folder 😉 I was working late that night while writing the comment and at the point i hit Send, the power in the office went off lol…so I thought the reply wasn’t send and while in the subway, I rewrote the comment and send again.
No Man’s Sky sounds like my kind game…but I haven’t been gaming the last two years when my PS3 broke down and then after that got busy with work and stuff. I missed game world at times…in the past I could be like in it for 2-3 days straight, just eating and sleeping in RL then back to VR, Those were the days of Final Fantasy lol
Oh yes, Jazz! I never thought of that. During my school days, I worked in a music store and had the opportunity to listen to all kinds of music which I did. I like jazz to…sometimes it’s high and full of life; when it slows down it rather soothing to the soul at times…
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Thank you for your generous compliments 🙂 always thankful!
Yes, I feel the same way too about reading and books. I think I simply have a ‘love’ relationship with books lol…Maybe as a child I only have myself to talk to, but sometimes wish someone would talk to me. Reading a book is like someone talking to me and becos Im holding it in my hand physically…it feels real… Then also my story image of the words are more vivid with reading a book than on screen…is that similar how you feel about a book in book form?
Your favourite site, yes, I’d visited couple times in the past while searching some topics i forgot what.
It’s no fun having an old Soul and feeling it, the time I put it to rest was the time I could feel more vibrant and hopeful about life. Lol. People are always so good with excuses. One of the reason I changed my mind about the subject of psychology was when I saw my brother faking depression or whatever to escape or cover up for failing examinations, he even seen a psychiatrist for awhile.
My experience with Ziwei is similar yours with astrology, dipping in and out since 16/7. Hmm…I’m curious tooo what I will find out.
I’m sure you’ll be a mischievous but most adorable baby 😉 becos you are born in the year of Monkey, my little buddy is a monkey too. I’m a dragon. You talking about turning to a baby brings to my mind the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the character was born a old man and age backwards.
Sincerely thankful for your advice, will keep that in mind… (I have a feeling I heard this somewhere, not that anyone had said that or similar to me before…Recently, I’m getting all these feelings of deja vu and my right eye has been twitching frequently in the last few months, wonder what its mean…Thus led me to think about parallel universe…)
I just wanted to quickly say – I spent some time exploring your blog and I love what you’re doing with it and where it is going. I don’t want to say too much or too little (which most likely will result in one or the other or both). Keep following the whispers of your inner muse!
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Aging has completely been a bonus. I think I am wiser, although I’m starting to get that “wiser” is more about being calmer and more confident. Yup, I’ve seen that before, it’s not the end of the world, move on. I know the answers to things sometimes, too. Things that in the past would worry me or even scare me. I love my age and what it’s offering.
A power cut for me is to be out of contact with the people I love. In a world of cell phones and Skype, that doesn’t really happen much now but that’s something I really dislike. I get on with it, but I don’t have to like it.
Broken? Yup. I have cracks and chunks missing. Some of the missing chunks have been replaced with other chunks that have a different pattern. On a used car lot you will find me in the back row next to the dumpster. Still reliable but not very pretty. But it’s also part of my aging and I don’t mind that.
I have many favourite subjects. Some have been in my life for all of my life while I have moved on from others or even have forgotten about them.
I recently watched the second season of Ozark. The first season was stronger. It’s a study in human stuff in the style of Breaking Bad and I like watching shows that explore that. I’m starting to think that The Sopranos (and Breaking Bad) did it much better however.
A social must is something you’re supposed to do or think because society says you should. If you don’t, society will fall apart! You will go to hell! Your brain will leak out of your ears! You will be shunned! Social musts are usually about control and power.
When I was in uni, I read lots of stuff that I didn’t really want to, but that was more because I wanted to go to the bar and procrastinate. I have made myself read things in order to educate myself about it. I once read the Book of Mormon to learn about it, not to convert.
… and I hit send accidentally.
I also forced myself through Mein Kampf. It was dire going, but afterwards I knew what Nazism is.
Thanks for these questions. Well done! 🙂 Got me thinking. 🙂
Thank you very much for sharing, Lynette 🙂
We’re on the same wavelength about what a ‘social must’ is. Back in the late 80’s and 90’s all TV shows seemed to have to include them in their script. Nowadays, because of the changes brought about by HBO and Netflix et al, it seems to have flipped and many shows seem to have to include rebellion against ‘social musts’ in their scripts. The funniest version of that I’ve seen in recent times is ‘Happy’ with Christopher Meloni.
I watched the first season of Ozark. I’ve been dithering about watching season 2 because I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a one season viewer (as in someone who loves the first season and gets increasingly disappointed by subsequent seasons). I do enjoy shows which focus on peeling back the layers of the humaniverse.
Your reading approach and choices are very INTP – going to the source of a movement to find out what it was about and to form your own opinion about it. I always admire people for doing that 🙂
I love all your answers ❤
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Thank you 🙂
I enjoyed reading yours and the commentary. 🙂
[…] I got this from Sparks from A Combustible Mind…Who in turn got it from An Upturned Soul. Its not a “Share Your World”, which I normally post on the Thursdays. It’s more […]
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