Venus Rx and Lilith: Wild Women Spilling Secrets

What is a wild woman? Who is a wild woman? Do you have a wild woman in your life? Are you a wild woman?

Last week at the supermarket I ran into Trouble – that was the name on the name tag of a woman working there. I asked her if her name was really Trouble (and as I asked the image of a character from one of my favourite TV shows – Grimm – popped into my mind. I loved that character, Trubel, she was feisty, fierce, a demon-slayer, and yet she was also loving, gentle.).

Trubel below

Trouble smiled wryly and told me that it was a nickname given to her by her colleagues. I asked if she was truly troublesome – she replied that she didn’t think so, but whenever she entered a room her colleagues would say: “Here comes Trouble!“.

The other day, as I was walking into the supermarket, Trouble walked out. I smiled at her, but she didn’t notice me… which relieved me because I’m not a chit-chatter. I did briefly wonder if it was a sign, an omen – What trouble awaits me herein? – I thought, chuckling at my silly mind and the way it likes to entertain me with silliness.

The supermarket was packed. I had gone earlier than usual – I won’t be doing that again (I’ll add that to my collection of – when good ideas go bad!). I took refuge from the traffic in an aisle I don’t normally visit – the mostly for females section (which includes make up, false eyelashes and nails, expensive anti-aging creams, shampoos and hair colouring) – unless I need Tampax. Since I was there, I did get Tampax (it’s nice not to have to pay as much as before for a female essential – maybe they wanted us to bleed all over the place and we didn’t realise), and then decided to browse the shampoos (and get the same one I always get – Alpecin Caffeine Shampoo – it’s supposed to help with hair loss, I may be losing my head on a regular basis but not my hair, this shampoo is wonderful just don’t get any in your eyes it really really really hurts more and longer than hot ash).

I was contemplating getting a ‘treat’ for my hair in the form of conditioning oil and arguing with myself about it (Do you really need it? You don’t need it!) when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a woman approaching and she was looking right at me. Then she started talking to me and I couldn’t understand a word she was saying.

Oh shit, I thought, me and my face which seems to have – Help and Information Desk – written upon it especially when I have the – Permanently Out to Lunch – expression on. That day I had a bit of a Clint Eastwood squint going on because I’d forgotten my glasses and the writing on products is getting tinier.

“The psyches and souls of women also have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questing and resting, creating and incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

The woman started gesturing at me to – come over here – to her. I just looked at her and stood my ground, so she moved closer, and almost grabbed my sleeve to drag me to where she wanted me. She repeated what she had said to me, and that’s when a penny dropped. She explained that she could only speak a little English and needed help to find a hair colouring product without ammonia. She was going to get her hair cut that evening and wanted to change the colour as well, but ammonia burns her scalp. She was Romanian, but had lived in Italy for 2 years. We communicated in Italian.

After scouring several different makes of the particular colour #7 which she wanted, squinting furiously while trying to find the ingredients needle in an overly tiny wordy novel on a box haystack… I informed her that they all had ammonia, and she thanked me for helping and told me she’d go to the nearby pharmacy to continue her quest for a new look.

I did wonder why she wanted to change her hair colour since her natural colour was lovely, but… that’s none of my business.

Why am I relating this story? What relevance does it have to wild women spilling secrets? How is it connected to Venus Rx (retrograde) and Lilith?

This morning I was reading – Venus Retrograde in Scorpio, 2018: Psychic Pheromones – and Julie Demboski (the author/astrologer of that post, and of an awesome Astrology blog on WP), shared a story of her personal experience (love, love, love it when astrologers share their personal experiences of astrological transits and natal, it makes astrology come alive, a deeper gift of understanding is given) of this Venus Rx and of a previous Venus Rx in Scorpio. Transiting Black Moon Lilith is involved. In her post she said and asked:

Nothing made sense, until it did; that Aha! of recognition came (as it always does) when I stopped taking it personally and looked for the larger pattern, which involves the Truth about Love, Money, and/ or Relationships–so, if you’re seeing this, too, how is this manifesting for you? Check as many as apply, and feel free to comment, add your own answers, or to elaborate.

– Julie Demboski, Venus Retrograde in Scorpio, 2018: Psychic Pheromones

This post is my reply.

When Venus in Scorpio first went retrograde on October 5th 2018, it did so in my 3rd house of communication. On that day I published part one of a 3 part series I wrote about Narcissists. All three of those posts begin with:

Someone recently asked me to write a post to share my perspective on how to find a measure of balance in life, love, and relationships when you have a narcissist in your environment.

The ‘someone’ is a female, and in our comment-chat (which you can find here – Recently Watched: The Laws of Thermodynamics – if you’d like to read it), we spoke of many things which “involves the Truth about Love, Money, and/ or Relationships”.

When I was writing that series about Narcissists, I was conscious of doing so during the Venus in Scorpio Rx. I didn’t mention Venus Rx’s influence when I wrote  – The Many Faces of the Moon – because I was focusing on the Moon. And because I know myself well – I needed to keep myself focused and resist the temptation to lose focus (courtesy of natal Neptune in Scorpio in the 3rd = when I lose focus, I get lost in the depths).

I know myself well thanks in part to having Mars in Scorpio (which Venus Rx has been stroking) squaring off with Mercury in Aquarius (which transiting Lilith has been straddling and whipping into a certain shape).

The recent square between transiting Mars in Aquarius and transiting Mercury in Scorpio has been intriguing because it’s my natal placements flipped.

My Mars square Merc to me = endless debates with myself, giving all my thoughts the aggressive third degree, arguing with others because I misunderstood what they said (which happens fairly often partly due to my dyslexia – words don’t only get scrambled when reading), wanting to give others the third degree because I think they’re lying to themselves which means they’re inadvertently lying to me about themselves (and yes, I could have misunderstood them, which is another reason to interrogate them). 

During this transiting Mars square Merc, it’s been really peaceful inside and out. It is as though the transit canceled out the effects of the natal – but then again I have recently finally learned how to be less fractious (famous last words).

Here’s a visual point of reference for anyone who needs and would like one of those (ie. Me when others share their astro with me).

half of my natal chart + current transits

In case you’re wondering where my natal Black Moon Lilith is – in Gemini, in my 10th house of status, career, public reputation, etc. My natal Lilith only makes one aspect, she squares my natal Pluto in the 1st house of self. I would interpret all of that as – that explains a lot! – with regards to how others perceive and seem to experience me, and how I view myself within the context of society.

“Though her soul requires seeing, the culture around her requires sightlessness. Though her soul wishes to speak its truth, she is pressured to be silent.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

Okay, I’m going to wrap things up now because my stomach is gurgling loudly and won’t shut up no matter how many times I tell her to do so. And because I have some wonderfully interesting comments to which I am looking forward to replying… but I won’t be rushing myself to reply to them or to finish n’ post my posts anymore (which is just as well since my internet connection is being very flaky atm).

Other possible effects on me and my life of Venus Rx which I’ve noticed are:

I have recently rediscovered my love of blogging. I went through a period this year of feeling very saturnine about it (and yes, I used the word saturnine because I’ve been having some heavy Saturn inner and outer work to do – it’s been unemotional as my emotions were frozen solid, and worth the struggle to stop struggling against what Saturn was teaching me). I lost my way for awhile… I’ve resolved some internal conflicts which I had about it, and now remember why I blog.

Screenshot of yesterday’s Daily Puzzle from an online game I love to play (also in English)

 

I’ve had some deep conversations with my partner (who has natal Venus/Mars/Neptune in Scorpio) which were very satisfying for both of us, especially at on emotional level. Some old misunderstandings were released as we revealed, shared and spilled secrets of our psyches – which I am not going to share with you. Don’t ask, I won’t tell (ps. it’s not as interesting as what your imagination can imagine).

I’ve followed some new (new for me) blogs, and interacted with other bloggers more than I usually do. I’m still very shy, hesitant in leaving the comfort zone of my own blog, participating in group blogging activities, commenting on other bloggers’ blogs… but it feels lovely to do it and everyone has been lovely.

“Be wild; that is how to clear the river. The river does not flow in polluted, we manage that. The river does not dry up, we block it. If we want to allow it its freedom, we have to allow our ideational lives to be let loose, to stream, letting anything come, initially censoring nothing. That is creative life. It is made up of divine paradox. To create one must be willing to be stone stupid, to sit upon a throne on top of a jackass and spill rubies from one’s mouth. Then the river will flow, then we can stand in the stream of it raining down.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

I feel more… at ease with sharing more of how I feel. I don’t feel the need to fight, be feisty, be fierce, rebel especially against conformity as I used to. I have relaxed into myself, no longer afraid of drowning within or being drowned by the outside. I feel honoured showing my wild woman as is instead of trying to hide her or apologise for her when she leaps out of the bushes and scares people. The other day in a post I mentioned playing ‘jungle girl’ as a child (for a visual – she-Mowgli)…

I wasn’t really playing at being that way, I was that way, and still am even though now I wear clothes but I still go around barefoot unless I have to go to the supermarket.

And I’ve come around full circle…. Booyah!

An interesting article about – The Secrets of Wild Women

And a song which came to mind as I wrote this…