Releasing Yourself From The Dead (which once were buried)

Have you ever found yourself doing things which you were certain were things you did not do? Over and over you told yourself – I don’t do that, I can’t do that, I’m not the sort of person who does that…

Have you ever done something of which you were afraid, terrified of the consequences of doing it, of losing the tenuous control you have on the shit which happens in life inside and out, but more fearful of not doing it and staying stuck where you are and have been… only to realise that that of which you were so afraid to do released you from the death grip of your fears into a mysterious new way of seeing, feeling, and being?

That’s a brain teaser not a question, this is a question —> Which famous painting really reflects your soul? (via HowStuffWorks)

And below is the result I received when I took that quiz last night (while I was very tired which causes my dyslexia to increase in potency which turns reading into a series of farcical misunderstandings):


quiz result from Which Famous Painting Really Reflects Your Soul? 


That’s a surprisingly accurate result. I would add that my own behaviour makes me cringe and want to scream out loud but mostly I scream internally at myself.

Lately I’ve been making some changes internally and externally. Tackling some of my behaviours which make me cringe, stretching myself out of the cringe position. Some of those changes are things I told myself over and over that I didn’t do, couldn’t do, am not the sort of person who would do that…

Why? Why, indeed, when not doing them made my life harder and doing them has, thus far, made my life easier. Yet I told myself that doing those things would make life harder for me – why did I think that?

The answer can be found in my astrological chart (and yes, this is an astrological post, but as with all of my posts it sort of is about that but it sort of isn’t about that).


moon in 12th house transit interpretation via Astrodienst


The (image) above describes a transit which is also my natal Moon placement. Throughout my life I’ve struggled to express my emotions, share my feelings with others, and very often I had no idea what I was feeling and couldn’t access that information because I had buried it somewhere within where I couldn’t find it.

It’s funny, I was thinking the other day while writing a post…

(yes, I can think and write at the same time even though I mostly write without thinking – I described that process to someone in a comment on their blog, and yes, I am now commenting on the blogs of others more frequently than I used to because I’ve realised that they quite like that, as I like it when people comment on my blog, as channeling communication… and later I cringed at my description because it could sound as though I think I’m a medium channeling some being from the beyond, a being from the beyond wouldn’t get a word in edgewise inside my mind and if it did somehow manage to do so it would get mercilessly interrogated and what it said would be thoroughly investigated until it decided that trying to possess me was a very bad idea and it would exorcise itself away screaming, what I meant was that I let all the conversations in my mind flow through my fingers onto the cyber page)

…that those who read my ramblings may have the impression that I’m as expressive, emotionally and verbally, in person as I am on cyber paper. I’m not. The people around me offline often say to me: “I have no idea what you’re thinking or feeling”.

I can get very passionate in my posts, sharing my frustrations, ranting, getting easily riled and screaming out loud about the behaviour of others which makes me cringe and then want to pounce onto them to rip them to shreds with bare hands and bared teeth (I have natal Mars in Scorpio = don’t mess with me, Pluto in the 1st house = seriously, don’t mess with me or I’ll drag you to hell, Lilith in the 10th house = Well, hello there, you’re not in Sparta anymore, this isn’t Mordor either, welcome to the island of Circe where I turn people into bacon. Yummy!).



All of that may create an image of someone who lives up to the reputation of the colour of their hair, has a red-hair-trigger temper, and shouts and screams at people all the time. I’m only doing that in my head, on the outside I’m calm, placid, like one of those lakes in a horror film which invites you to go swimming: “Come on, go into the water!”.

Am I joking? Maybe… it can be hard to tell with a Capricorn, especially one with Virgo rising = a little Bo Peep with her sheep (okay, it’s a goat wearing sheepskin but you see Bo Peep lost her sheep and… found a goat who was into wearing sheepskin, it can get very cold on craggy mountains).

Which reminds me of that guy who was so pissed off (with good reason as my mother had interacted with him and she was exceptionally gifted when it came to leaving people frothing at the mouth). I was left with the task of unraveling the knot my mother had made of someone (and she was able to blissfully ignore the consequences of her words and actions, and continue to tell herself what a wonderful person she was, a saint, and a martyr who was always having to tidy up other people’s messes).

I was used helping people untangle themselves. I was also used to standing still, quietly and calmly, as someone screamed, shouted, and stomped their feet in anger (both of my parents did this regularly, it was pretty much how they communicated during my childhood when they weren’t in silent treatment mode, or in cajoling mode – which is why I developed a dislike for compliments as they were invariably part of a contract which would not benefit me, which would require that I submit myself to someone else’s control and the consequences left me having to untangle myself from another trip to hell). I walked him with very little talk from fury to calm, and at the very end he told me that he wanted to introduce me to his son because he would love to have a daughter-in-law like me (that kind of thing happened to me fairly regularly, so I knew how to get the son off the hook and out of a parent-induced awkward situation).

I’ve always been better at dealing with the emotions of others rather than with my own, partly because my emotions had to be repressed, suppressed, were oppressed by the emotions of others, had to be dead and buried (every now and then they’d wake up in their coffin… which is probably why I was deeply affected by Poe’s The Premature Burial).

“The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?”

― Edgar Allan Poe, The Premature Burial

That skill of sorts has helped me to attract those supernal beings known as narcissists. They see me as a void, and narcissists abhor a void, they feel an urgency to fill it up with themselves.

Once a narcissist has filled you up with themselves, they then proceed to fix what is wrong with you. Everything about you is wrong and must be made right by them.

Sure, they complimented you on some talent which only they could see in you, which only they know how to appreciate in the way it deserves, and which made you feel special, but that compliment had barbs on it, and the moment you accepted it they had you on the end of a chain, a leash which will get shorter and shorter. Kiss your delusions of independence and individualism goodbye, they’re dead and buried. They will control you from now on because you’re out of control.

They can make you a better you, but first you must get rid of all this stuff, junk, garbage, known as your self, and replace it with their new, improved, version of your self.


moon trine saturn transit interpretation via Astrodienst


It has taken me many cycles of life, many walks around in a circle, repeating the same old patterns over and over, making tiny shifts here and there, testing changes to see if they were real or illusions, attempted escapes, being recaptured, jumping out of the pot and into the frying pan, and so on and on and on… to get where I am now, but where is that?

It is a strange place, one of my own making (although many others have contributed materials to the structure), one which I quite like and willingly choose for myself…

I more than ‘quite like’ it (those words reflect old issues and fears connected to my Moon in 12th, and my Chiron/NN in the 7th, which I am gradually putting to rest by gently challenging them bit by bit), I love it, I am happy here… and I know this too will pass, change, shift… but for once I look forward with… without the sense of foreboding, without the tightness in my chest (which I affectionately nicknamed – The Grip-Tight), without the feeling of being hunted by those who want to steal your happiness away from you, how dare you have it when they don’t, if they can’t have it then neither can you.

It has taken me many Moons to finally know my emotions, converse with my feelings, express them more openly, share them more freely…

And while I am still concerned about the consequences of doing so… of whom it may attract, and how they may react… and that one or two may want to kill me, silence me, cause me to be dead and buried…

That fear once made me retreat from others, from the world, from myself, from being myself as I am, until I lost myself, silenced myself, killed myself off, buried myself, might as well have been dead rather than the walking dead. And it didn’t stop those types of people from hunting me… from wanting to take what I had which they envied. Even when I had nothing, they envied that nothing, wanted that nothing from me, how dare I have nothing to give them.



you can choose to play as a male or as a female


I am finally learning how to use the Spear of Leonidas, in my own time and my own way – “You carry the blade of Leonidas. Act like it!” (this is dialogue in the official trailer above)

I have done many things recently which before I used to shy away from doing to protect myself from the possible repercussions (not all of those were imagined worst case scenarios which had never happened and never would, some were from real life experiences I had had multiple times – I grew up with narcissists, the worst case scenario you can imagine is your daily bread happening – and like a lab rat who repeatedly gets painfully zapped when it tries to eat, eventually it stops eating so as not to be painfully zapped or it adapts to the painful zapping and learns how to like it until it can only eat when being painfully zapped).

In the past it didn’t matter how many times I observed that protecting myself from certain repercussions in this manner didn’t actually protect me at all from those repercussions. Sometimes it even attracted them and increased their likelihood. I was stuck in a fear rut, and my fear kept telling me I was safe there. But I wasn’t safe there at all.

Blogging, in particular, has been very useful and helpful in showing me the error of my past ways, and in allowing me to discover new ways which work better for me. I’ve been experimenting a little bit more…

My apologies to anyone who feels as though they’ve been experimented upon by a mad scientist (I have natal Uranus conjunct Jupiter trine Mercury in Aquarius = what happens if I jump off a moving vehicle wearing rollerskates…? Next time I’ll use an open umbrella as well… perhaps I should get skate wheels which can swivel… although maybe that’s a bad idea, what I need is ankles that can swivel…). I’m really just experimenting on myself, with myself, but sometimes I need the unknowing participation of others. I try to do it gently.

For all of my life I’ve always been concerned about my impact on others, that isn’t going to change, but how I do it is changing. Having grown up with narcissists, and been a magnet for them (because of the training and programming of those I grew up with), I ended up perceiving all people as being incredibly fragile, overly sensitive, easily triggered into volatile drama, as though they were an explosive device which I needed to defuse (possibly by not going anywhere near it, definitely not touching it, being careful about the vibrations of my breathing, and paranoid about the effect of my voice upon it especially if I said the wrong thing, what it didn’t want to hear).

I was always worrying about upsetting people and trying not to upset them… which often upset them. It took me a long time to realise that most people aren’t narcissists, they can take care of themselves, they don’t mind if you make a mistake, they don’t need you to cater to them, they can handle the truth, and… they actually quite like me as I am and won’t hand me a list of required changes to suit them, won’t threaten to kill me, abandon me, put me in the stocks and get everyone to throw rotten fruit at me, chop my head off, disembowel me, and other cute things narcissists say when they’re only joking and I have no sense of humour.


even video games have narcissists, this one has quite a few (Odessa is the funniest) and you can kill them if you want to


This will be the last post in my recent series of Moon-ing – watching the Moon transiting around my natal chart – as it has come full circle.

These are the posts in the series:

  • The Many Faces of the Moon (this is where the series started, and includes a look at the posts I wrote under the influence of this cycle of the Moon, as well as some musings about being a woman and my relationship with other women)
  • The Full Moon and Uranus: I shall not defeat you – I shall transcend you (this… what was this about again?… oh, that, shit I’d almost forgotten about that and yet I haven’t solved the puzzle yet, and it includes a look at predictions about that particular full Moon from various astrologers, and how it dovetailed into what was going on with me)
  • Repost: A Party at MoonVooDoo (this is sort of part of the Moon series as I do mention where the Moon was transiting at the time… it’s the repost of an old post about a vivid dream I had plus a long intro where I talk about some things, like my now dead deviantart, which include Assassin’s Creed Odyssey – that bit ties in with what I have said here about it)
  • Venus Rx and Lilith: Wild Women Spilling Secrets (this isn’t part of the series but it ties in with it, when it comes to using astrology to explore yourself and life, it’s always more complex than just one planet causing or affecting this or that, you, your life… for instance everything I’ve written here, the changes I am making, the channeling communication in particular, are also connected to the transits of Jupiter and Mercury which are on my natal Neptune… although Mercury is moving on quickly)

I might play with Mercury next…

Since it is my dominant planet both by Ascendant method and Pullen…

(if you want to find your dominant planet/sign, I wrote a post a while ago, in 2013, on how to do that: What Planet Dominates You? – it’s one of the top posts of my blog because it filled a How-To gap)

…and I have noticed my mind works differently depending upon the sign transiting Mercury is in.

When it’s in Scorpio, as it has been recently until today, I get more focused, am better able to solve puzzles and problems by cutting to the chase, can dig deeper and fiercer into the root cause of things, and spot lies (the lies people tell others, me, themselves, and the lies I tell others, and myself) with more acuity. I find calling bullshit on myself to be very liberating!



That’s it. Thank you, Moon, for sharing yourself with me…

And thank you to those who have allowed me to share myself with them, and those who have shared themselves with me.

Here’s a song for you (I was going to say this is a great tune for Mercury moving into Sagittarius, but then I checked Sara Bareilles’ chart and she has natal Mercury in Scorpio conjunct Uranus… ah, but Sun and Nep in Sag):


  1. Fascinating!! And I’m going to look at which planet dominates me (next)…today it seems to be Mars (associated with – in mythology anyway — anger and war) … that was tongue in cheek as I know nothing really about astrology except my birth sign. Thanks for this interesting and informative blog post, and I’m going to share your first question with folks (you get credit of course)…because I’m curious and think it’s an interesting question!


    • Thank you very much, Melanie 🙂

      A while ago on one of my astrology posts we had a comment-chat (I can link you there if you wish) – you said your Sun was in Pisces, but were not sure about the rest. Then as now, I wonder if your Mercury is in Aries (Mercury is either in the same sign as the Sun or the one before or after the Sun sign because it travels close to the Sun in Astrology) because the name of your blog is the sort of name a Mercury in Aries would choose and it would suit it. Aries is ruled by Mars. Mercury is the planet of the mind. So ‘sparks from a combustible mind’ = Mercury in Aries. Mercury in Aries packs a punch when it comes to communication and your writing always packs a punch, but your writing is also very kind, considerate, compassionate reflecting the Pisces Sun.

      I look forward to reading your post, your posts are always real, alive, and express the essence of you – you have a valuable gift!


  2. Aha…I broke that dreadful spell, got out the cave and my magic is back 😉

    Tell you what happen …but first, oh I love The Scream the first time I lay eyes on it in my early teens, still have a card with the painting in one of those boxes. Back then, I felt the scream in the painting, not terrifying though and more to angst towards the human condition in general. Anyway, I was curious what painting would describe my soul (cos I know it will be not The Scream), guess what my result? I was thinking of The Last Judgement or The School of Athens (I’d finished a jigsaw puzzle on the latter that’s why it came to my mind) but I got Lol… Mona Lisa.

    The description is somewhat fascinating and made laugh at it. The part that I’m calm on the exterior but whole world of things going under the surface as described in the result is very accurate, the rest said is rather fanciful, I’m not sure I got those qualities though I love to have them. However, I can’t agree with a line ‘your smile is intriguing and hints at some of your mysterious inner workings.’ My smile is always so awkward in photographs becos when I thought I’m smiling, ppl think I’m not smiling and then I need to smile ‘harder’ (so never like taking pictures). Anyhow, such quizzes are fun to do and the results are usually interesting, if not accurate.

    Right, about that dreadful spell…so that last week I performed badly on a task due to lack of preparation and got angry with myself for awhile. Well, I thought I got over it the next day, not knowing the repercussion of a bad performance can led to so many other things and turned on my over-thinking mode.

    I’m usually cool and fine about under performance or failing at tasks, tests, exams, etc. and didn’t realize my own anxiety over the task grade I will get (which will affect my score in the annual appraisal at work). In the past, I don’t really care that much about promotion or whatsoever, however, things have changed slightly with me and is still changing gradually at a slow pace.

    Today, the results were out and it was a relief. At that moment, the dark cloud was finally lifted. I guess I couldn’t imagine myself being anxious over things/issues like really and I went into overthinking other problems and areas in my life. Just like in one of your recent post, you ask what does time and money mean to you…in the past, in short, they don t mean much for me. Especially the concept of time is very abstract. How can ppl think that time is money? I know but never accept that reasoning. I read a quote somewhere that day ‘time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time’ and love it. Gosh…this comment is getting too long…

    Thank you for the astro blogs link in the last comment, I did read a couple of them. Btw, I’ve enjoyed the Moon series very much…particularly your supermarket amusing encounter in Wild Woman Spilling Secrets…and oh, Alcepin getting into your eyes sounds like you shampoo your head with half the bottle, that’s probably why you get the hot ash sting so bad. I feel the sting is kinda icy rather than hot, it always get into my eyes and I got used to it 😉


    • That’s wonderful news, Reverist 🙂

      I LOVE jigsaw puzzles!!!! I am obsessive about finishing them, the world could experience an armageddon and I wouldn’t notice unless it knocked a bunch of pieces which I’d already put together onto the floor, but I’m always sad when I do finish one because doing them is such fun 😉 I prefer the really huge ones with thousands of tiny pieces, and I prefer it when it is a complex painting (I don’t like the pretty scenery ones).

      I think the Mona Lisa suits you, you’re very enigmatic. I reckon that even if a person were to study you intensely, obsessively, minutely, every minute of every hour of every day for years with your participation, they still wouldn’t know you. You’d still be mysterious and intriguing. Your muse probably found you both fascinating and frightening because she couldn’t use her intellect to turn you into a known – you are the unknown which people want to know but are afraid to know, not because you are scary as a person but because of what you inspire in them which they may be ignoring, may have hidden from themselves. Your passions run deep, and you invite people to dive in and share, but people like your muse feel safer on the surface (but is she really safer there).

      What you said here: “However, I can’t agree with a line ‘your smile is intriguing and hints at some of your mysterious inner workings.’ My smile is always so awkward in photographs becos when I thought I’m smiling, ppl think I’m not smiling and then I need to smile ‘harder’ (so never like taking pictures).” – That’s your perspective of your smile, most people don’t like photos of themselves, we don’t see ourselves objectively. You also know what’s going on behind your smile and so to you it is awkward because having your photo taken makes you feel awkward. While smiles which we think are awkward smiles can look like that to others too, more often than not they may appear intriguing to others.

      Awhile ago you said this: “I also think it might not be my mind that attracted her… haha. While watching Hwayugi, it strikes me that it could be my “Korean look” (thanks to my hairstylist) she fancies since she also likes to watch K-drama lol” – if you look at studio photographs of male actors, they often don’t smile or do a conventional smile.

      Look here – [Link deleted because it didn’t go where I thought it did] – only one is giving a big grin and it looks forced and awkward. Which smile is similar to yours?

      Haha!! I don’t shampoo with half the bottle! In fact one shampoo bottle can last me many months – if the shampoo business relied on people like me they’d go out of business 😉 That time I got it in my eye, I’d spent the day plastering a wall and my arms and hands were aching and shaking. I was in the tub (as the shower doesn’t work) thinking how great it was that I’d managed not to injure myself, including getting drops of wet plaster in my eyes, when I squeezed the shampoo bottle and BOING a drop went flying into my eye. I’ve had shampoo in my eyes before, I’ve also had specks of hot ash fly into my eyes (another hazard of smoking, esp. on a windy day), but nothing burned as much as this. Took me about 15 minutes to stop the agony. Afterwards I laughed because it happened while I telling myself how proud I was of myself for going an entire day without injuring myself 😉


      • Right, I don’t like the pretty scenery ones too. I especially like those huge Tibetan Mandalas, it’s so beautiful. I did one 5000 pcs in my teens, felt so satisfied upon completion, but also sad becos it had to be shove up to the top of the cupboard since the house is small and there was no way to store it properly. There was also much grumbling from my mother while it was being fixed. I had to do it by carpet sections, after finishing one area then the next and finally putting all the sections together. That was the second and last puzzle I fixed. The first one I did during a month vacation at my nanny’s house which was much bigger and spacious, and it was the nanny’s daughter who bought the puzzle. She had planned to fix it with my help but really I did most of it lol. That was the School of Athens.

        Ah, I see your point on the intriguing smile. The ‘look here’ link, I love your way of humor lol or have I mistaken? Those pretty woman all look the same to me honestly as I scroll down the page rather quickly. The one picture that had me paused for a second was Gwyneth Paltrow, who was in a few movies that I’d like in the past, and she got a aristocratic feel which is appealing.then the also at the name Keira Knightley I stopped for a while, not her the picture, I remember her from Anna Karenina, The Dangerous Method (you watch this? Story revolving around Freud, Jung and Sabina Spielrein) and a romantic film Begin Again (like the theme track Lost Stars by Adam Levine).

        Really I don’t smile a lot and I laugh at the thought you asked me to look and see which woman’s smile is similar to mine haha lol I have a fantastic imagination but imagine my smile like one of those women, that’s gut-busting! But you are right though I do have a Asian pretty boy face 😉 especially so in my younger days.

        Talk about smoking, I stopped that for 5/6 years maybe but picked it up again half year ago. It was for a social reason at first, getting in the clique thingy. Building rapport with a senior co worker in this new company, who happens to be a Capricorn male lol (something that I only recently realize is I do have quite a few Cap friends that I got along well with and I had once seem a close friend back then, female Cap rather cool one, went berserk over her boy friend. Also had another strictly drinking partner, Cap female whose goes crazy with the boy friend every time she got drunk. Ya, half my life I’ve been smoking but it’s not an addiction, I haven’t enjoyed it as much as not alcohol. However, when my colleague recommended me his brand of cigarettes, it’s like I only truly enjoy smoking now after all these years. Camel – that’s supposedly like your old man kinda brand but it taste great. The best for me so far. So you are still smoking too? I’ve had much pleasure reading your smoking series too but the posts quite some years ago 😉


        • Ooops, something went wrong with the link I shared (I’m going to delete the wrong one from my previous comment), what I thought I was sharing was a link to a bunch of pics of Korean actors, because you’d discussed having a ‘Korean look’ thanks to your hairdresser. In the gallery of the link I meant to share all the Korean actors weren’t smile-smiling except for one.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I thought about the Mona lisa painting and your comment earlier, and did a post today. Btw, yr question to which smile is similar to mine, I found one and placed the link at the end of the post 🙂 I figured the Korean page you trying to link up but couldn’t relate to anyone. So I found another actor that I thought is similar 😉 Take a look!


            • Thank you 🙂

              Ah, TL, I’ve seen and loved a few of his films! He’s incredibly good-looking, and a great actor. That’s a great smile!!! It’s sort of how I imagined your smile to be after you described it to me. It’s a thoughtful smile. People who smile like that are usually thinkers… and that includes thinking about their smile. They tend to consider many aspects of the smile and the act of smiling.

              But the real smile isn’t in the mouth, it’s in the expression, and especially the eyes.

              There used to be a fun test on the BBC website to – Spot The Fake Smile. It was very interesting. To spot a real smile you have to look at the eyes not the mouth. The mouth lies easily, but the eyes find it harder to lie. The mouth wants to be socially acceptable and accepted, but the eyes… they watch and reflect what they perceive 😉

              Love your post, btw! I may comment on it later when I’ve had a chat with your words in my mind. I also noticed that I missed another post of yours which is very intensely beautiful.

              I recently followed a new blog and their latest post asked people to suggest a question (I guess they ran out of questions to ask – it’s the kind of blog that likes to ask questions, but sometimes those run out), and so because I’m in interacting with other people outside of the comfort zone of my blog through comments mode atm, I asked – What is the best mistake you’ve ever made?


              • Thank you so much for reading and looking forward to your comment 🙂 Always love your comments and please feel free to say anything positive or negative. I must say I’ve benefit much from comment-chatting with you and your replies are always heartfelt and genuine. I see that in your comment replies to others too.

                Just earlier today I was read one of your older post A Secret Silent Shang-ri La, in the comments section you replied to comment on explaining how you write and the process of getting words/thoughts flow. That’s brilliant advice 😉

                Ya, TL. He is my favorite actor. I watch his dramas and films from young. Just while searching his info yesterday did I realized he is Cancer, ah… that actually made me a little more appreciative of my Ascendant. Sounds childish but sometimes I’m just a big kid 😉

                It’s great to know that you’re getting out of your comfort zone, there’s much to learn out there. I’m replying this comment a little late (in my time zone) becos I entertained the landlady and house mates to a game of Mahjong and made a small winning of it.

                Right, I written one post during that overthinking period which I’d pulled down the post becos it was too emotionally intense. I kept the verse though and may used that as a featured image when appropriate. The short verse kinda coincide with your question of what is the best mistake you’ve ever made; Mine is a most beautiful mistake 😉 Have a good day!


                • Thank you 🙂

                  I just re-read A Secret Silent Shang-ri La, plus my reply to the comment on it. Gosh, that was a rather good post! Haha 😉 I keep forgetting that some of my posts are actually not complete nonsense pouring out of me. And whoa that reply I made was very intriguing, and not bad advice! I might repost that post.

                  It can be so weird looking back at what I’ve said and contrasting it with my view of myself then from where I am now. I got into the habit of viewing all past-me’s as a mess (which they were but not always), it’s a habit borne of needing to keep going and not get caught being nostalgic or anything along those lines. I guess it’s a rather Capricorn thing to focus on where the hooves are now rather than where the hooves were then, and to look at the missteps taken so as not to make that same mistake again if possible instead of giving praise to the parts I got right which helped me to get where I am.

                  I usually try not to say anything negative, because it’s really not helpful and if others are similar to me (which I’ve observed many people are in this respect) they’ve already got the negative covered, and are repeating it to themselves like a mantra. However sometimes what I consider to be positive can come across as negative because of interpretation, mode of expression, and the language barrier which exists regardless of whether you’re both fluent and of the same mother tongue (it is actually sometimes easier to communicate with people who have a different mother tongue).

                  Another way of seeing it is that as Scorpio is my dominant sign and rules how I communicate, what I consider to be positive may be what others consider to be negative, because shadow and darkness to me hold immense positive insights.

                  I do try to keep in thought and feeling the person I am communicating with, but sometimes I get carried away on an inner wave because what we’re discussing taps into something I need to discuss with myself too.

                  I’ve played Mahjong (very badly)! I love the designs and meanings of the pieces, and used to own a tarot based on the Mahjong pieces. Congratulations on the winning!!! 😉

                  Best piece of writing advice ever is this:

                  “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” – Ernest Hemingway (he was a Cancerian with Moon in Capricorn).


                  • Thank you!

                    Ohh, your dominant sign is Scorpio too! Lol. I don’t fear shadow or darkness I fear emptiness, not the enlightenment kind of Zen emptiness, the flip side..

                    Hemingway’s quote is like the writer’s mantra haha

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  3. I had fun with the test – the painting turned out to be Starry Night, a painting I love.
    Don’t study a Scorpio, you might not graduate – pretty funny. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt like that. 🙂
    Most people aren’t narcissists, no. I think most people are really decent. I might not like some of them or understand them or find them annoying, but in the end, that’s mostly my problem. Most people just want to get on.
    And to your question – yes. 🙂


    • Thank you, Lynette, for playing 😀

      Ah, Starry Night, how beautiful and perfect!!!

      I think the Scorpio quote is pretty apt about everyone, it’s hard enough to study ourselves and graduate that messy educational program (do we ever, really)… and yes, studying others can help us with self-studies… but thinking we’ve got someone else sussed and have a diploma, PhD, emeritus schmeritus… tempting but no.

      Yup, I tend to do that, ask myself – Okay, what’s your problem with this person, Ursula, and what’s it really about because it more often than not is not about them at all. – it’s very useful to do that, because it helps to find and unravel inner knots.

      I almost forgot what question I asked, doh! 😉

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