Good Post, Bad Post, Old Post, New Post, Just Write Post

So, what do you think makes a good post on your blog? Do you have a favourite? What do you prefer to write about? What do you like to read on other people’s blogs (or mine)? What attracts you to follow a blogger?

The above questions aren’t mine, they’re from Pensitivity101: What Makes a ‘Good Post’? – please click on over to her blog to read her thoughts about it, what inspired her to ask those questions and ask others to share their thoughts about it. She is interested in knowing your answers.

I thought I’d share my answers and thoughts in a post (as that’s what I do when I write posts… mostly so that I can see them, hear them, and really listen to what they are truly saying which isn’t always what they appear to be saying).

I’m also adding a couple of questions:

What puts you off a blog you followed, and makes you contemplate unfollowing it?

I’m asking this question because I’ve followed quite a few blogs in the past which I’ve later regretted following… some of them I still follow because I like to expose myself to that which I find uncomfortable just to see…

Someone who used to regularly comment on my blog, and who I encouraged to start a blog of their own, recently thanked everyone except me for supporting them in their blogging adventure. Maybe they forgot me…

[that reminds me, I need to thank someone who went out of their way to do me a solid which helped me to solve that life puzzle which I couldn’t solve on my own as easily as I could with the generous help of others… be back after that message of thanks is sent… okay, that was easy and very worth doing!]

…and maybe it’s for the best for them and their healing journey. We had a falling out a while ago in the comments of one of my blog posts, it was due to a misunderstanding, but once that happens (I usually get discarded)… anyway, I’m not going to unfollow them and I’m saying this bit here out of curiosity to see…

And yes, I am aware that I am the sort of blog which people may regret following and decide to unfollow, because I say things in my posts like those I’ve just said, and other reasons. If you’re wondering if I’ll be upset if you unfollow… more to the point, if I’m following you too, would you rather I didn’t, if yes, why not tell me to unfollow you?

What do you consider to be ‘red flags’ on a blog – as in signs that the blogger may not be who they claim or at first appear to be?

I’m asking this question because every now and then I have followed someone who turned out not to be who they claimed to be, but it took me a while to notice.

I still follow at least one – this one was ‘red flagged’ by a couple of other bloggers (on a different blogging platform), because this blogger (or bloggers – the blog originally seemed to be started and run by a female, but now it appears that a male has taken over) at first quoted segments of the blog posts of those bloggers and others (on an FB page), without giving credit, then they (the red-flagged one) wrote a book which is basically a compilation of plagiarised material from other bloggers (including me – I recognise my own words, particular style of expression and spin on things – but in my Copyright I say take what you need and do what you want with it, but I didn’t mean plagiarise it, still, as I see it if someone is going to plagiarise they’ll do it even if you copyright your work up the wazoo, and ultimately they’re their own worst enemy for doing that, and they’ll eff themselves over more effectively than I ever could if I could be bothered to fight that kind of battle). I like to follow them to remind myself of something I do not want to forget.

Who’d have thought blogging could be so dramatic!?!

Years ago I followed a blogger who wrote this amazing post, which I not only ‘Liked’ but also commented on… a few days later they wrote another post which was a confession that they’d plagiarised someone else’s post – the amazing post wasn’t theirs.

The confession post was very interesting, and in many ways was a brave post to do – it’s not easy to admit your mistakes like that.

Sometime later that blog was gone (or maybe that WP glitch which causes random unfollows happened. I didn’t unfollow blogs in those days, only started doing that recently and only atm those blogs which seem to have been abandoned by the blogger).

Sometimes blogging can be a painful experience, but it can also heal the pain it causes if you let it happen (too heavy? I’m kind of caught between too heavy and too light today).

What do you think makes a good post on your blog?

At the beginning of her post, Pensitivity101 said this: “I guess we’ve all asked ourselves that at some stage, especially when something we are really pleased with gets few views or a response whereas something we consider not so good gets a lot of recognition.”

I’ve definitely had quite a few of those moments.

In the past I used to get frustrated when a post (which I’d enjoyed writing and was very excited about sharing on my blog) I’d just published was ignored while some old post got all the attention. I’d have a big sad sigh about it.

I did understand why the new post wasn’t as interesting as the old post, as usually this happened when I wrote about something other than narcissists, and at the time people really only came to read my posts about narcissists.

Once again the narcissists in my life had taken over my life! – that was part of my big sad sigh about it.

I’ve been through many phases since then, I won’t list them all – they’re all in my posts.

The phase I’m in now is one where I’m slowly learning to appreciate what others have appreciated about my posts.

Earlier today I reposted one of my blog’s top posts (it’s had 414,102 views, 459 comments half of which are my replies, and been shared around on social media, forums, etc). Previously I’d reblogged it about a year after I posted it, and had a whine of sorts about its popularity (I’ve made that reblog post private – I’ve only done that with a few of my posts), what I didn’t do then which I did this time is re-read it… and appreciate how good it was.

If you would like to check it out (without having to find it for yourself… yup, I’m lazy like that too, in fact I often link to my posts like this just in case I re-read this one later and can’t be bothered to search my archives), it’s here: Repost: How To Play The Narcissist’s Game

These days I don’t mind if the posts I love go ignored – I’m in a very happy blog-post-writing place, and have returned in some ways to my point of origin for creating An Upturned Soul.

What do I think makes a good post on my blog? For me personally it’s when it helps me to figure something out which moves me out of a stuck place.

Do you have a favourite?

Yes and no.

My favourite is in a constant state of flux, it’s often the last post I wrote, but then it becomes the one which I am about to write, am in the middle of writing… as I write I am conversing with myself and that’s very exhilarating, especially recently (sometimes in the past it’s been very heavy-going, particularly when I lost my way in the pink labyrinth, forgot what I was doing, why I was doing it, and for who I was doing it).

However I do have a few which I remember fondly even as the years pass. One of them is very silly but… I’m not actually sure if I ever moved that one over from my now defunct tumblr. I can’t recall the title (I wish I’d title posts better than I do and tag, categorise, etc, more efficiently so that I could find my posts… but then again having to explore the mess of my archives can lead to unexpected finds which had been forgotten), but I can recall the feeling of writing it, how fun it was.

I am very forgetful… except when I’m not and then my memory is an elephant who may have sneezed.

I also have a tendency to notice everything (and yes, hyperbole, to an extent but to what extent?) while appearing to not notice anything, I notice especially the tiny invisible nothings (because for a fairly large part of my life I felt like a tiny invisible nothing which was a bothersome nothing to big flashy others).

Sometimes I’m tempted to say:  “I saw what you did and not just last Summer” to certain people who think they got away with something (a something which hurt me or perhaps hurt someone else whom I care about even if I don’t know them) and have covered it up with an I’m such a wise-nice person shtick teaching foolish souls like you a wise-nice lesson:  But I’m not a total naive idiot even though I can be a fool.

I prefer to focus on the good, but sometimes the bad is good to notice and focus upon – it may lead to good, while certain types of good… ain’t so good and may lead to bad.

What do you prefer to write about?

Whatever has my attention at the moment of writing a post.

Sometimes I use my posts like a shoebox, or some other container, to hold something I liked, loved, which made me go Hmmmm, led somewhere interesting, hurt but also healed, to remind me of a milestone, as a marker for that event or experience, and a plethora of other tids and bits.

Sometimes I just need to get something out of my system to see it more clearly.

What do you like to read on other people’s blogs (or mine)?

I’ve only just followed you today, Pensitivity101 (and no, you don’t have to follow back, probably best if you don’t), because I liked what you wrote in your post – What Makes a ‘Good Post’?

I also checked your About out, and liked it but I didn’t press ‘Like’ because I’m having a glitch-mare ‘Liking’ posts and pages on people’s blogs. I have to search for their blog in the reader and then see if I can find the post I want to ‘Like’ in the feed, but About pages can’t be accessed in the feed (I haven’t tried so maybe they can but I doubt it). Melanie from Sparks did suggest a workaround but I haven’t tried it out yet because it requires commenting and I’m still hesitant about doing that although I am pushing myself to do it more… with varying results, thankfully mostly good (although sometimes I’m also thankful for the bad because it’s an easier learning curve for me, shocks the monkey to life).

Overall what I like to read on other people’s blogs are posts wherein they share their perspectives, personal experiences, thoughts, musings, madness, philosophies, experiments with life and living, etc.

The rest of my answer is only a guideline, rather than a hard and fast rule – in other words this is what I’ve observed myself doing more often than not.

If a post starts off with – Mark stepped out of the front door into the street and bumped into Ariadne, causing her long black cascading tresses to fall off her head, and the policeman passing by at that minute said… – that’s about as much of it as I read before moving on.

I realise that I may be missing a literary masterpiece by doing that (and I am not being sarcastic – a friend once told me that I sound sarcastic no matter what I say, apparently it’s worse when I’m talking in French), but I’m not that interested in fiction at this moment in time.

I also don’t read poetry, and yes, once again I may be depriving myself of a beautiful truth spoken in the language of the soul.

And yes, I’m arguing with myself at the moment, not with you, or you, or… what are you doing!?! That looks intriguing, I’m totally checking your blog out!

What attracts you to follow a blogger?

Recently I’ve been pressing follow a lot.

I went through a period of not doing that, that was partly because the reader changed and I couldn’t follow what was going on in the feed, it caused my dyslexia to just say no.

Before that I followed too many blogs rather randomly.

What doesn’t attract me is when there’s a certain cliquey-ness, when a blogger belongs to one of those groups of bloggers who seem to have all signed this contract which says:

a) you must ‘Like’ every post one of us publishes regardless of whether you read it or not, or genuinely like it, because all we care about is collecting ‘Likes’…

a2) and anyone who doesn’t do this will be put on a ‘black list’ and none of us are allowed to follow that blog or ‘Like’ that blogger’s posts. They shall be ignored, made to feel unwelcome in our lovely welcoming all community.

b) you must promote the post of a blogger who is asking for followers so that they can reach a blog milestone. Only 25 more followers needed for them to reach 300 followers! Come on everyone, convince people to follow them, they need to collect a trophy!

Even someone who has a superb blog with wonderful posts will get a nay from me if they treat their followers like brownie points, like collectibles, like things – people are not things, and followers are people.

I also don’t like it when a blogger thinks of their followers like they’re members of a cult who must worship at the altar of that blogger, while that blogger sees their own press of follow as a cult member recruiting device and an immense favour to a little no one.

The Snooty-Snoots with their Faux Poshery really get on my nerves…

Sorry (not sorry), bit of a rant there.

What attracts me is someone being themselves, sharing themselves as is.

If they’re a little bit different, a little bit weird, a little bit strange, a little bit crazy in a similar manner to me, and write with passion, with humour (can laugh at their own quirks, problems, and life, etc, without faking it… and who take themselves seriously when their self needs them to do that), with a genuine desire to understand themselves, others, life, and the puzzles of being, don’t mind making mistakes, are willing to learn (especially about themselves, about others, from their mistakes, etc), are curious, are open-minded (until they may risk their brain falling out… because they’re intrigued to find out if that can actually happen), are raw, real (and not just wittering on about being authentic, mindful, or some other trending beingness fad of the moment), and have accepted the risk of sharing themselves as they are in the moment… that sort of blogger is always attractive to me (unless it’s all an act… the attraction will fade super quick in that case, but I may keep following to see…).

But all of the above paragraph isn’t a must… what is a must… well, a preferred…

I prefer it when the blogger does not giving a toss about whether I find them attractive or not as a blogger, because that means they won’t allow what other people think to make them clip their blogging wings.



Ideally we should all wear the hat which suits us!

I’m linking this post with Weeklyprompts: Word Prompt – Perspective as one of my favourite things is when a blogger shares something which gives me a new perspective.

*please note: The featured image is from Old Hat New Hat via The Berenstain Bears Blog


    • Thank you very much, Sadje, for sharing 🙂

      I’ve seen your gravatar fairly often recently next to your very supportive comments on blog posts of blogs I’ve considered following (I’ve followed a few of those), I hope you realise how much of a gift of yourself you offer when you comment on posts. And I hope they appreciate the gift you’re giving them too. Blogging can be a weird experience, like life only a bit weirder sometimes or not 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Wow, and then some! First and foremost, thanks for the follow and also for taking the time to respond to my original post. I also liked your additional questions, especially about unfollowing someone for whatever reason.
    The way you write reminds me of a glass of bubbly….. totally effervescent and frothy, and you say you talk like this too? One of the girls in my team at the bank was like you…. bubbly personality, said what she thought, and was a total gem to be around as it made such a refreshing change!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much 🙂

      I loved your post, very thoughtful and thought-provoking which is my fav kind of post!

      Aha haha! I also noticed you ‘Liked’ my About… I’m going to try it again on yours now! Hope it sticks! This ghost pop-up always appears…

      I do talk like this… but I do try and be considerate when I do because it can be a bit too much. Even my partner (hubby) who is used to it, finds it all a bit too much sometimes. So do I! Thank you for the comparison with your bubbly team mate 🙂

      ps. I live just slightly south of you, but I don’t tend to specify where exactly that is 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve unfollowed blogs when it seems that the writer has left, not posting, not reading other blogs. I’ve noticed a few times that I’ve lost interest because the blog wasn’t really what I thought it was. A couple of times I stopped following when the blogger consistently didn’t respond to my comments or didn’t publish them – the message to me was that I was a sort of interloper and not part of the cabal. 😉
    I follow blogs that hit me in an emotional place or strike me as people I would like to know in real life, like you. 🙂 Some blogs are just a pure privilege to read.
    Thank you for your blog – pure privilege! And, I’m happy to see how happy you are. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much, Lynette, the feeling is very mutual 🙂

      That’s a good point about the blogger not replying to comments and/or not approving comments which were good comments.

      Comments can sometimes end up in Spam. If there’s been a glut of spam, then they’re impossible to find and get missed/lost. Sometimes wordpress eats the comment and who knows what happens to those words – that’s happened a few time for you commenting on here, we’ve had a few sigh-chuckles about it.

      So I keep that in mind when commenting on other blogs. Besides thinking they did get your comment, decided not to approve it, and won’t tell you about it or explain why – that’ll drive you nuts! I was doing a bit of that the other day on a blog which always moderates comments even if you’ve commented before so you just never know… and I know that blogger won’t say anything if something in my comment upset them or they considered it not appropriate for their blog.

      With the replying thing… it takes time to reply, and I think a lot of bloggers want to use that time for writing posts, reading the posts of others, maybe commenting on other blogs. But still a simple – thank you – only takes a minute to do.

      I’ve seen bloggers put a notice in the comment segment of their blog explaining their approach to comments, so if they don’t have time to reply to comments or don’t want to, they’ll say that they don’t, which I think is a good approach then everyone knows what’s up.

      It gets a bit more confusing when you see a blogger replying to some comments and not to others, and the comments they replied to are scattered timewise with the ignored ones dotted in between so you know it isn’t because they’re away, busy, haven’t checked the comments yet. Why? If the comments they ignored weren’t trolls or obviously rude or saying something which you immediately know why the blogger didn’t reply, but were nice, friendly and inviting a reply… it can be a bit huh!? inducing.

      Sometimes you can tell there’s a clique, and only clique members are acknowledged. Other times it’s more a case maybe of that blogger wanting to join a clique or become ‘friends’ with other bloggers they consider to be above them, special, etc. They ignore their regulars because they know their regulars like them and won’t abandon them, but the special ones must be catered to and encouraged to keep coming back.

      I do tend to check out how a blogger behaves in the comments. It’s fills out the picture of who the person is, but it still doesn’t tell the whole story 🙂

      I don’t know why anyone would snub you, your comments are valuable treasures, I love comment-chatting with you ❤ And I love your blog, it's this rather wild safe haven… shhhh… don't tell the others about paradise or they'll put up a parking lot or something like that 😉


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