SYW: Sometimes you can’t hear me (it’s because sometimes I’m in parentheses)

Okay, maybe it’s because I’m only talking to you in my head. Or because you’re ignoring me, desperately trying not to hear me or even see me… was it something I said or didn’t say? Or because there’s so much chatter going on in your head that you can’t hear anyone outside of your head. Or because I’m underwater, can I come up now?

“I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote,” so right before I die I could say “unquote.””

– Steven Wright

Melanie of Sparks from a Combustible Mind has released a new episode of Share Your World 11-12-18 please click on over to her post to find her answers to her questions and the entries of other participants. Thank you for sharing, Melanie!

   

become a member of Share Your World – it’s FREE, fun and friendly!

 

What’s the most ironic thing you’ve ever witnessed?

Needing scissors to get scissors out of their packaging…

  

the riddle of the scissors

     

…and the reason you bought scissors was because you didn’t have any.

“I also bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. So I had to buy them again.”

– Steven Wright

Let’s talk turkey.  Pro or con?   If pro, which part do you enjoy most?  Is it for Thanksgiving (American Style any way) only?

Con.

As in I’ve eaten turkey and I’m fairly certain that means I’m con rather than pro turkey. What do you think, turkeys? Talk turkey with me turkeys!

I enjoy the part where I eat them. The chase was fun for about five seconds until I tripped over a tree root, fell head first into a drainage ditch, and got nibbled upon by water voles (hey, I thought you guys were vegetarian!?).

[censored part of post]

I’ve never followed one of those signs to its destination, so I’m not sure if they really have turkeys or if it’s a trap for humans.

“If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried
before.”

– Steven Wright

If you’d like, share one thing you wish you’d said to someone else, but now you’ll never have the chance.

This…

“Sometimes you can’t hear me, it’s because sometimes I’m in parentheses.”

– Steven Wright

…because it’s hilarious, because I have often felt as though no one could hear me (which for a while made me wonder if I was a ghost, just a figment of someone’s imagination and they weren’t interested in that imagining anymore), but I can’t steal someone else’s words, thus I’ll never have the chance.

I know that’s not what you meant.

I can’t think of anything I wished I’d said to someone who is no longer around or available for me to say it to them (although there are a few people I wish I’d cut out of my life sooner than I did, and with whom I had not been so damn polite, tactful, tolerant, patient, stupid, stupid, stupid for so long).

It’s also not always about words… communication happens through other forms and mediums (not through psychic mediums… you can do that for yourself better than they can).

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”

– Steven Wright

However there have been many times in my life (like breadcrumbs leading from there to here) where I’ve wished I could say something to someone but didn’t because I was afraid of how they would react (I didn’t want to deal with the consequences which I knew would happen).

There have also been times when I wished I hadn’t said something because… well, look at the fine mess I’ve gotten myself into this time!!!

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

– Steven Wright

I have censored myself in the past to the point where I could barely speak at all, and I still do regularly censor myself. Later I may think – I wish I’d said it. I should have said it. Why didn’t I say it?

Sometimes what I censor is something silly, but my calculations tell me it doesn’t belong in that conversation.

For instance the other day I saw in a post someone mention that they couldn’t understand why the bride and groom at their own wedding would chew gum.

Why do people chew gum at important occasions, like their wedding, or when they’re giving a public speech, when they’re on stage?

When people have to do something which makes them nervous, anxious, their jaw muscles clench, their mouth may dry up and their throat may constrict, and they may be unable to talk, say anything more than a croak.

This makes saying your vows, giving a speech, performing your lines, painful and difficult, which increases the levels of nervousness and anxiety, which increases the likelihood that they won’t be able to speak.

Chewing gum is often recommended as a way to increase saliva thus your mouth and throat don’t get dry, and it relaxes the jaw muscles. It also helps a person to focus, like sticking your tongue between your lips when you’re concentrating on something.

Don’t take my word for it, check things out for yourself – Greatist: Does Chewing Gum Reduce Anxiety?

“I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.”

– Steven Wright

I’ve always been interested in people (even if I sometimes go out of my way to avoid interacting with them… I tend to do that most often when I’m in a bad mood, but sometimes I’ll do it when I’m in a really good mood). When I wonder why someone is doing something which I may consider to be odd, perhaps inappropriate for the occasion, I usually ask the person why they’re doing the thing I think they shouldn’t be doing.

There’s more often than not a logical reason and people tend to be happy to explain it – they may be pleased that you asked and were genuinely interested in them, in others, rather than just interested in judging them for yourself for doing something you didn’t understand (unless you interrupt them in the middle of their wedding vows, speech, play, to ask).

The person who wondered about that in their post is really nice, empathetic, compassionate, which they made very clear in the rest of their post, and they really didn’t need me to share any of that, so I didn’t.

“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.”

– Steven Wright

What odd smell do you really enjoy?

I live in rural countryside. There are a lot of odd smells in these here parts…

I’ve grown rather fond of the parfum de fertiliser. The manure one is better than the fishy one. It tells you stuff is being nurtured and nourished, growth is being encouraged… around here they try to grow things organically, so the growth is less likely to be deformed by human intervention (although… no, let’s just pretend for the sake of optimism).

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!”

– Steven Wright

Thankful November… share a story or time when someone did something really great for you.  Alternatively,  share your gratitude moments during this past week.

I don’t expect people to help me or do anything for me, it’s always a bonus and I am very grateful when they do. I am thankful when they do (sometimes I overreact with thankfulness and it freaks them out a bit – they could ask me why), they didn’t need to do it, they have problems and puzzles of their own to solve.

I consider even the smallest gesture of help, kindness, to be really great.

“I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen it.”

– Steven Wright

It’s still a bit weird in a good way when people do things for me which are useful, helpful (can you tell I’m more used to people being unhelpful? The one I’m most used to is when you ask someone for help and that leads to you helping them with their problem while your problem gets shelved indefinitely because their one problem leads to another problem they need help with… when you do get around to solving your own problem on your own, the other person may make you feel bad about it because you’re making them feel bad about themselves for not helping you, or they have another problem and why aren’t you helping them!?).

“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”

– Steven Wright

One of the greatest gifts of action that another human being can give to you is to hear you, listen to what they hear, and then when you have finished talking, they respond in a manner which tells you that they not only heard you, they listened with more than just their ears, and they understand… and if they didn’t understand, they take the time and make the effort to do so because they want to understand and are interested.

It’s very hard to hear, listen, respond, understand… so when someone does it, they battled for you, stood by your side. Would you do the same for them?

  

  

That’s it from me… over to you!

11 thoughts on “SYW: Sometimes you can’t hear me (it’s because sometimes I’m in parentheses)

Add yours

  1. I hear you, I do. And thanks for Sharing Your World and directing me to a) a new blog today (your re-blog post) AND for showing me an ironic writer? Steven Wright is on my ‘list’ now. It’s not the parentheses we need to worry about, it’s the words that escape them…that should have remained unsaid. For myself, something is changing, and these days (whether it’s because I’m getting so damned old) or because I’m beginning to not fear reprisal (as such), but sometimes what comes out of my mouth isn’t something the listener/reader needed to hear at all, and was meant to stay in my parentheses (or filter). It’s freeing to be that way, but it’s also dangerous and sometimes it’s not very kind.

    Loved your post (as usual). Thanks again! 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you very much, Melanie 🙂

      Haha! I love this – “It’s not the parentheses we need to worry about, it’s the words that escape them” – that’s genius!

      I do think being bolder with what we say does have a certain amount to do with getting older. Imo, it’s because when you get to middle age and move beyond, you’ve done a lot of Been There Done That, have had many experiences of talking, censorship, trying hard not to say the wrong thing, working at figuring out the right thing to say, being damned if you do and damned if you don’t, etc, and realise that eff it why not just say whatever you really want to say (within reason, of course, experience has also taught you where to draw a line, but also that sometimes you have to cross it to get to the other side).

      Something which has occurred to me recently is that sometimes what people need to hear is exactly what they didn’t want or think they needed to hear. For me personally I’ve found when people surprise or shock me with something they’ve said, it stimulates positively and/or negatively, gets my juices flowing and if I’ve been in a rut it spurs me to get myself out of it.

      One of the best prompts for writing a blog post is something which pissed you off, provoked thought… so there’s that too 😉

      I prefer it when people tell me exactly what they’re thinking even if I may want to punch them (I’ve only ever punched one person, and that was a friend who asked me to punch him). I trust people who speak their mind more than those who are being nice, polite, but you know there’s some dark and nasty shit going on behind the false positive facade. Like those lovely ladies in Agatha Christie novels who turn out to be vicious serial murderers and poison pen letter writers 😉

      I know you hear me, and I appreciate it ❤

      Like

  2. It was an experience, reading your take on the SYW. Nothing ordinary about any of the answers. You do share a lot of yourself in your posts. Hope that someone hears you now!

    Like

    1. Thank you very much, Sadje 🙂

      It sounds like you heard me 😉

      I love blogging, that’s where the energy and zest in my writing (which you kindly pointed out yesterday) comes from. It’s lovely to be heard by others, like yourself, it’s a gift from you to me when you read my posts and when you comment. I would keep blogging even if no one heard me because my posts are mainly conversations with myself and I’ve found I listen to myself more deeply when I chat with myself this way.

      There are some benefits to going through the experience of not being heard, and of figuring out why you’re not being heard, one of those is that it can make you a little bit more daring about sharing yourself in posts. It still surprises me when people hear, so that’s fun too!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m all about the parenthesis, the original parent to my self defines thesis. I respond to words unspoken, the sentiment left but not noticed because it has sunk below the surface like sediment.
    But I refuse to answer every call because I am so finite and small. Every whisper I thought I heard, I’d chase after it like it was the skylark.. and get lost again and lose me head.. poor referential ideations to cement myself in this physical realisation.
    I put the call out to reach me, to speak to me directly. And I have to make myself comfortable and nest up my nesting place, modernmysticmother is the name of my lofty aerie.

    Like

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