Happy New Year!!! Best wishes to everyone!!! May 2019 be full of treasures found for you!!!
I’m using 3 exclamation marks because this morning I read something somewhere which said that to express genuine ! you have to use !!!
So ! = meh !! = meh-meh but !!! = YAY or something like that! !! !!! what happens if you use !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?
Don’t worry this post isn’t going to get any better than that. Other things which will be making an appearance in today’s mess of a post will be dish-washing wisdoms, vacuum breaks, and strange fellows who ring your doorbell to tell you they’ve been forced to ring your doorbell to tell you… but luckily it was all a dream!
I’m saying the Happy and BW now because by the time I press publish on this piece of work, some places elsewhere which isn’t where I am will have already rung in the New Year… isn’t that amazing! (hmmm, maybe I should use more !!!!!!!!).
It’s also kind of confusing because everything on planet Earth is confusing especially if it involves humans.
I should put a quote here by someone who said something !!! or maybe a picture which is !!! a treasure, it should be a treasure…. going to rummage through the t’internets treasure box.
That photograph is definitely one of those images which speaks volumes. It’s so expressive and not just as an expression of what was going on at the time which caused Marianne to be defaced.
Q: What does the photograph of a damaged Marianne say to you?
What popped into my mind just now while looking at her and thinking about the question I just asked, was that she represents the facade of outrage and the emptiness behind the facade of outrage.
That’s not the initial impression I had of her when I first set eyes on that photo back when that news story was new news. Back then I was just struck dumb by her beauty, and how much more beautiful she was now that she was damaged.
The thought I had about the emptiness behind the outrage probably had to do with having seen a headline today which called 2018 the Year of Outrage.
And that reminded me of all the articles, blog posts, and that episode of Black Mirror, I’ve seen which have stated that people get outraged these days because they think that’s what is expected of them, because they’re bored and want some excitement, because they get caught up in the drama drama drama of the moment, because it’s a distraction, but that we’re so inured due to the constant ranting, raving, screaming, shouting chaos of the human world that the outrage has become almost meaningless, empty.
This is a very thought-provoking article from January 2018 which I read this morning – The Atlantic: The Humiliation of Aziz Ansari – Allegations against the comedian are proof that women are angry, temporarily powerful and very, very dangerous. by Catlin Flanagan
Q: How has 2018 been meaningful for you?
For me 2018 has made me more aware of how I impact others.
I was always aware of how others impacted me, but my understanding of how I impacted others was confused, and it tipped too far over to the negative side of the spectrum.
I always saw myself as a bother, a nuisance, a problem to be solved by getting rid of it, of me. And seeing myself that way became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But events in 2018 shifted me out of old mental habits into unknown areas which are gradually becoming a bit more known.
At the start of 2018, I felt like Sisyphus, then as the year progressed I felt like the Sisyphus’ boulder, then the pusher and the pushed became the observed by the observer who saw Sisyphus and his boulder as one and the same.
I wondered why I was still making life so hard for myself, when I could if I would make it easier.
I’m still practicing at doing that, at making things easier for myself, thus in many ways making it easier for others, making myself easier to be around.
And hopefully I’m passing a bit of the bits I’m learning onto to others.
But I’m trying to avoid interfering in the stories of others.
You know how it goes, you’re now an unemployed Sisyphus because you’ve become one with your boulder, and you’re sitting on the top of that hill you used to long to reach, having a piece of buttered toast and a cup of tea, and you see another Sisyphus with their boulder… hmmm, why don’t I go and interfere, you think to yourself.
And before you know it you’re pushing someone else’s boulder… and that someone else isn’t at all happy about you doing that, how are they ever going to become one with their boulder if you’re pushing it for them.
Q: Are you a Sisyphus, what’s the boulder that you shoulder?
For a while I even made blogging a boulder for myself… so it’s been really great to have the attitude overhaul which 2018 brought with it, even if it was painful, frightening, and very disorienting for a long period this year.
My new attitude is still in its infancy, which is kind of lovely because it’s looking at everything with fresh eyes.
One of the strange things which helped me through the tough was watching K drama. Not just watching it but also immersing myself in the K drama recaps and information heaven of Dramabeans. It’s a superb blog, with a great community spirit.
K drama is a rather interactive viewing experience. The shows make you want to talk to people about them, the characters, the stories. But you need to find other K drama fans to talk to because if you talk to just anyone, most people think you’ve finally lost it, they knew it was going to happen, they didn’t know when it would or they thought those previous times had been it but NOW they know this is it! !! !!!
But as much as I have loved and still love K drama, my favourite South Korean viewing treasure has got to be Hyori’s Homestay.
Lee Hyori is a megapopstar, and along with her also famous husband they did a reality TV show where they turned their idyllic home into a Bed and Breakfast, with one or two other megastars as staff members. The guests were all regular people.
They were all so chilled and ordinary… it was such a relaxing show to watch, like staring at a stream bubble and flow naturally by, or being mesmerised by wind playing in the long grass.
It was so nice to watch people just being people, living life, being nice to other people without it being an effort, something rewarded, something to get something, just doing it because that’s what they did as they lived.
I was very stressed at the time that I started to watch it, by the end of it I was inspired to relax into life, meet the stress with a smile and be nice to it instead of getting frustrated by it, thus increasing the stress until all life and living and you is stress.
Q: Do you find your own stress or that of others easier to deal with?
Q:What tricks do you use to de-stress yourself?
Q: What do you do when you’re relaxed but someone else is stressed out and their stress begins to affect your relaxed?
You’re beautiful and I love you!!!
That’s what I just said to myself while I took a break from writing this post to vacuum the house.
It’s a very dangerous activity which only heroes can do – vacuuming, that is, not taking breaks from post writing… although, taking a break from post writing could end up being dangerous.
Really depends, doesn’t it, Fandango – that’s my new catchphrase for whenever I realise there are options. Which means I’m going to be using it until I’m sick of hearing myself use it.
I hope I never get sick of hearing myself tell myself that I’m beautiful and love myself for it.
When I say it I don’t mean I’m physically beautiful, because that would just open up a long debate between all the different people living inside of me and the whole point of saying “You’re beautiful” to myself is to stop an internal debate.
Besides I have no idea what I actually look like, it’s just how I perceive the pixels at any given moment. Really depends, doesn’t it, Fandango.
The “You’re beautiful” statement is what I am now saying instead of: “Why oh why did you say/do such a stupid thing, you’re an idiot!” because I got fed up of repeatedly calling myself an idiot. I would tell myself that it was a term of endearment, but it just didn’t feel like one of those terms and conditions.
That’s why vacuuming is dangerous, most housework is, because it’s so tedious – when something is tedious it creates a mental vacuum and that gets filled with all those things which make you go ugh! Cringe at yourself human!!
However sometimes doing a routine chore can be satisfying, make you feel good about yourself – Oh, look, it was dirty and now it’s clean and I made that happen!!! I can actually make things happen which are good!!!
Or, if you’re doing a daily task which you actually like doing, say washing the dishes (which is something that I love doing, and have loved doing since I was a child even though I was banned from it because I splashed water everywhere! !! !!!), your mind may offer up a wisdom just for you.
This morning while doing the dishes, and contemplating what I might write in a post, my mind said: “Life is a treasure hunt”
Suddenly I was flooded with a feeling of !!!
Glimpses of all the treasure hunts I’ve ever been on flashed before my mind’s inner eye.
I loved treasure hunts as a child.
And perhaps that love of the treasure hunt inspired me to make of everything in life and within myself a hunt for treasure.
Q: What is your favourite treasure which you have found?
It’s more the reason why I shop at charity shops, than because it’s economical, environmentally friendly, and you’re giving to charity while getting something for yourself.
It’s why I have the bleached by a lightbulb (not a good place to hibernate) dead body of a ladybird on my knick knack shelf, next to a creepy stalker Autumn leaf, a jigsaw puzzle piece which was left over after a jigsaw was completed, and some pebbles.
The best treasure are not material treasures, although those are nice too, and sometimes very useful. But the immaterial ones, abstract ones, ones which are like stardust…
I wonder if stardust is actually just the result of the Starship Enterprise’s cleaning crew dumping its load from the weekly clean… or do they clean every day? Not once in a blue moon like me, that’s for sure.
Aren’t meteor showers and comet tails just… space dirt we wish upon.
The Reverist (who is a very expressive blogger who won’t allow anyone to find his blog… I may get banned after this, just need to remember I’m beautiful, tum, tee, tum!!!) said in a comment-chat about the New Year that instead of making resolutions he makes 3 wishes. That struck me as being a brilliant idea!!!
Q: What 3 wishes would you make for 2019?
Reminds me of those fables where a human does something, like a bit of cleaning and dusting, wax on wax off, and comes across a magic thingy which houses a magic beingy, and they get the opportunity to make 3 wishes (is that a guaranteed reward of doing housework… that’s such a great incentive) which will immediately be granted.
Of course most of those fables tend to highlight how stupid humans are especially when handling wishes… and how they need fables to make that point very clear to them, and teach them a lesson they’re going to learn anyway just by living their human life… the 3 wishes invariably go horribly wrong, are wasted, but that’s okay because some moral of the story got to moralise.
My favourite 3 wish disaster tale was that one where the guy wishes for a sausage on his nose… or was it for his nose to become a sausage, or did the sausage end up on his wife’s nose…
I can’t remember what happened in that story, and I don’t know why it’s my favourite, maybe because it made me hungry for sausages. Maybe none of that happened, the story is a figment of memory gone wrong, and I’m carnivorously craving a meaty treat.
Q: What treat would make you do things you don’t want to do if you got it as a reward?
Okay, time is ticking away on the old year…
Time to say goodbye to what has been…
Time to say hello to what will be…
And time to think of a way to end this post.
An Upturned Soul 
I love the painting of the woman by the ocean. I think that’s your work? Beautiful. 🙂
According to my upcoming year horoscope, I’ve been through a few tough years but am now coming into a good one. It actually kind of feels that way. Or, it could be that I’m on holidays right now and have de-stressed to some extent. 🙂 For me, de-stressing is clearing my mind and drifting – I meditate.
One of my best treasures that I ever found is my M. 🙂
Happy New Year, Ursula!!! I wish you many good interior things for 2019. 🙂
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Thank you very much, Lynette 😀 Best wishes for 2019!!!
Yup, the woman by the ocean is a collage I did while trying to capture an image from a very old dream which I’ve never forgotten.
Your horoscope sounds great!!! I think even without it, it’s clear that you’re now into a powerful phase of life, where you’re literally and figuratively the Boss. It’s about time, and I know you’re going to use your power wisely.
Certain people are truly the treasures in our lives, the kind which keeps on giving ❤
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Very thought provoking. You know I’ll be answering those questions, right? Because I do tend to participate in others’ stories through that venue. Happy New Year (if it isn’t that already in your part of the world) and the !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? could be (mis) construed as swearing if one wants to subliminally swear and doesn’t care to write the words out… 😉 In my opinion. *phew*
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Thank you very much, Melanie, Best wishes for 2019!!! 😀
It’s only just after 6pm in the UK where I am. Still hours to go to the big bang. I’m messing around atm in the editor with your SYW questions. It’s really hard to come up with an answer to what’s the weirdest thing I did as a child since that was pretty much everything I did as a child 😉
Love it when you answer my questions ❤ and I'd never thought of subliminal swearing, that's genius!!!
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Okay, you’re beautiful… 😀 in the literal sense, in your words, in your mind; not the way you mean it for yourself though 😉
Before I was being paranoid that people in RL might find me here, read my posts (which are almost unsent letters to my muse) and lead to whatever complications my imagination can think of. But I sort of thought things out and feeling more at ease now.
August/Pinocchio in Once Upon A Time comes to my mind when you mentioned the guy with the sausage nose lol. I’ll be answering some questions in a post later, actually it will be added to a post I was preparing last night. Very a bad tension headache last night that never went away till this morning.
And the other day, I read some interview about David Mitchell (one of the few modern authors I liked) where his view are similar to yours in regards to writing to pour out your emotions and in that trying to understand oneself. I couldn’t recall or find that article again as I’d cleared the browsing history prior to this posting. He is a Capricorn born Jan 12, 1969. The other thing I noticed was, there are in a way similar of your writing style and that of his — the feeling that you are all over the place yet still having a grip on the reader. Have you heard of him? Or seen the movie Cloud Atlas?
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Sweet, thank you Reverist 😀
What I’ve found with the whole issue about your blog being found by people in your RL is that people in your RL don’t tend to really be all that interested in what you’re doing in RL let alone online. I’ve told quite a few people in my RL that I have a blog, but people just say that’s nice and that’s that. Only my partner reads my blog. It can be very useful that people are dismissive of blogging.
If people in your RL somehow do find you, your posts are so poetic and enigmatic that you can simply tell them it’s a creative writing project, and thus all fictional. Only you know about your muse being real.
I haven’t read anything by David Mitchell. I saw that he wrote parts of Sense 8 season 2 episodes – I have seen the series. I briefly considered watching Cloud Atlas but for whatever reason decided not to, can’t recall why, probably just wasn’t in the mood.
There’s another David Mitchell, Peep Show guy (also a regular panelist on Big Fat Quiz of the Year), whose B’day is almost the exact opposite of the author.
I shall check author DM out, since he sounds intriguing, and born a few days after me so some of the astro is similar 😉
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You are welcome, Ursula 🙂
I figured that what you said about people in RL. It’s just my paranoia at certain things at certain times. I can be such a worrywart once in a blue moon.
Oh, the other DM yup he popped up first when I searched Google. Briefly read that DM wrote 2 episodes of Sense 8. If you didn’t mention, I wouldn’t notice that Cloud Atlas and Sense 8 was done by the Wachowskis, who also made The Matrix and that they went thru such a huge transformation. I haven’t watch Sense 8 and now considering to.
DM first novel Ghostwritten reads like a collection of short stories that interlinked with each other, this was easy to read. When it came to his second book number 9 dream, wow, I was confused, all over places, gibberish words, where am I? I would never have finished that book if I duly read from page 1 to end. I’d read to and forth chapters, skipping some and back again. That was a difficult novel to read for me then.
When I began reading your posts some months, it was very refreshing and most interesting when you are ‘all over places’ in your long posts 😉 Actually, I hadn’t thought of DM until some days ago when I read an article about him online. Only then I thought there is a bit of similarity between your style and his.
Wait… you said in your new post that one of your resolution will affect you writing here, you’re not going to write a book, are you?
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Thank you, Reverist 🙂
I’m going to be doing a DIY project, which will take time away from post writing.
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Have fun & all the best to your new project! 😉
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