Repost: How to tell if a Capricorn woman likes you…

This post has had 47,478 views since I posted it back in April 2015. If I remember correctly (doesn’t really matter if I don’t), it was inspired by a search term in my blog stats. I wrote it for fun, and had fun rereading it today. The ‘oatmeal is an emotion’ thing made me chuckle whoever came up with that is a genius.

Why am I reposting it? I’m not sure really, it just caught my eye in the ‘top posts and pages’ of my blog for today, and…

Well, I thought it answered Fandango’s Provocative Question #14 for me better than I would if I wrote something now.

No, nothing I say or do or think or feel or experience has to make any sense at all to anyone other than myself.

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To be honest… rather than dishonest, I suppose… even I, a Capricorn woman, am never sure if I like someone or not.

Like… is so oatmeal.

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So Oatmeal

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It takes time, interest, effort, and things like that to get to know someone.

Sometimes those you dislike during that phase known as the first impression, turn out to be people who you end up liking for life. And those you like during that same phase… sometimes they’re still likeable after the honeymoon is over, and sometimes… not so much.

We all put our ‘best’ face forward, especially when we are meeting new people… but what we think is our ‘best’ face, may not be what others think is a good face for them to look at.

We can’t see ourselves, they can. They can’t see themselves, we can. But what are we seeing when we look at them, and what are they seeing when they look at us?

Our face is often a mirror for others. If they don’t like themselves, they’re never going to like us eventually…

Just as their face is one which we may mistake as a mirror for us. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re never going to like them eventually…

… but they and we may play pretend for a while, a while where all is well until it begins to get unwell, then becomes quite sick.

This person likes me, therefore I’m awesome… maybe… issues apply, please read the smallprint (but don’t do that, that’s why it is smallprint).

This person doesn’t like me… OMG, what did I do or say which was wrong, this is a catastrophe, how do I make it better… do I dig a hole and bury myself in it or can I build a sand castle and distract everyone from me using it?

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Don't climb on rocks

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Personally, as a Capricorn woman…

… and many other things which go with being an individual, human being, who has had a life of experience (not necessarily the wisdom kind of experience, but maybe…) of living, being, interacting with other living beings…

… and is not just a Sun sign, as you trying to figure me out based solely on my Sun sign are not just your Sun sign…

I do tend to mistrust those who like me immediately.

I also mistrust myself when I like someone immediately.

Sometimes the mistrust is misplaced… but sometimes it’s not.

Being a Capricorn… I tend to go with erring on the side of caution. We’re a very cautious sign, for very logical reasons – People lie, and lies are rippling things, dominoes, and stuff like that.

You’re a people. We’re a people too. But for some reason other people seem to gloss over the fact that we’re a people.

If I’m wrong about being such a suspicious MF, then let me regret it and be relieved that I was wrong. I’ll even fess up to it… if you’re the sort of person I can trust with that kind of confession, then you’ll be the sort of friend I would gladly die for (within reason, that’s a poetic flourish, don’t make me prove it literally as you may be disappointed).

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I’m not sure if I’m a stereotypical Capricorn… female. But one thing that is for sure… based on the grumblings of my tried and trusted friends, as well as those who fell by the wayside due to being untrustworthy or something like that… I am frigging difficult to get to know.

I’m sorry about that, I know it’s true, but I’m not sorry about that. It’s one of the ways I get to know you and decide if my like is real or superficial, and if you are real or… just a beautiful illusion.

Want to know if I like you? Put up with not knowing whether I like you or not.

Capricorns are capricious, always ‘testing’ people – even when we don’t want to do that, we do it. It seems to be part of the shit that we do. How you deal with our shit… makes a difference to us, because we know we’re shit.

Apologies… and stuff.

What about you?

If you watched that Billy Joel music video in this post, and judged it for the hair or old school stuff… good luck with getting ‘liked’ by a Capricorn. Maybe being ‘liked’ by a Capricorn is not for you. Listen to the words, get the message…  don’t think what you see on the surface is the message.

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Patti Smith

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“Make your interactions with people transformational, not just transactional.”
― Patti Smith (Capricorn female).

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16 comments

    • This post is 16th from the top of top posts based on views. My no.1 top post has over 400, 000 views. I have a blog views counter widget in the footer. What the ‘views’ stats don’t tell you is whether the post satisfied the quest of the seeker/reader or not. It just counts clicks/hits/traffic.

      Most of my top posts were written about a subject, narcissists, which happened to become a hot trending topic online a couple of years ago. Those posts were written from a very personalised and passionate perspective – a very subjective perspective. The more ‘objective’ I became in my writing on that subject, the more my posts became less interesting to others and have received fewer views.

      The search engines have also changed how they sort things in their results since I started the blog. It’s become more cynical out there 😉

      This post still gets an average of 20 views a day because of the title which is a regular search term in my search term stats. Search term stats are useful as ‘prompts’ as they let you know what people subjectively are interested in finding. And because astrology is one way people make sense of the things and people which perplex them, and I love the subject as others do.

      I shared this post – https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/design-your-path/201212/blogging-what-it-is-what-its-not-and-why-we-even-bother – with Rory earlier, you might want to have a gander too, it’s an excellent insight into blogging and why some blogs and blog posts flourish.

      While the ‘objective’ view seems like something we should aim for, ‘qualia’ is what it’s really about for humans. If we were all supposed to see things objectively, we would with ease, the real joie de vivre comes from sharing our very personal experiential interpretations with each other, and those moments when we go – I am not alone in this weirdness!

      You’re a far better, more talented and more skilled writer than I am… but I am willing to take personal exposure risks when writing. ‘Tis all really. I share my being human mess openly, and it makes others feel less messy 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • First, thanks for the link. Second, you wrote about me, “You’re a far better, more talented and more skilled writer than I am.” No, I’m not. I’m a very run of the mill blogger. Your posts, on the other hand, are fascinating and, as someone who usually shuns longer posts, I find your posts to be addictive. You always cover a lot of ground in an interesting way, taking the reader to places that he or she (or at least me) would have never imagined. So thank you for that and for answering in this comment the question of seeing things objectively. I concur.

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        • Thank you, Fandango 🙂 The secret to being fascinating is to find others, life, being human, etc, fascinating. It’s the energy of being fascinated by XYZ which is fascinating, it taps into the same energy within others and awakens it, reminds them of just how fascinating they are.

          Being a run of the mill writer is your subjective view of your writing. My subjective view of your writing is that you are very skilled and very talented. I wonder what your writing thinks of itself.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. My mum is a capricorn. I can barely tell if she likes me or not. Then again, I’m a mother hugging intense as all heck SCORPIO so I naturally enchant and then ATTACK! i mean… POISON, SNIP, BITE, SMITE, freak the fuck out!!!!! or… umm… I just do stuff people find either quaint, or repulsive, and then they call the exterminator to be rid of the memory of me.
    Something like that.
    Wait, I forgot my original point… OH YEAH! I don’t know if it’s my mum being a persnickety Capricorn, or if it’s me bring a salacious Scorpio, but omg our relationship is complicated (or rather, my feelings about how we might feel or act towards each other are complicated). LOL

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    • That’s a beautifully observed quandary of relationship, Kim 🙂

      I tend to get along with Scorpios, I love the intensity, bluntness, depth. It’s a comfortable energy as I have Neptune and Mars in Scorpio and Pluto Rx in the 1st (which aspects Sun). I don’t get the impression that you attack others as much as you attack yourself. You’re a scorpion who stings itself rather than others, I think they only get stung when they try to intervene in your self-stinging. They don’t understand why you’re doing it, but you do, it’s just difficult to explain it to others, especially if they don’t do it too. Pluto Rx in the 1st self destructs on a regular basis, so I get it.

      I would say that with your mum it is a bit of both persnickety Cap and salacious Scorp interacting. Check your Moons. The Moon tells the story of mother. What’s her story with her own mum – mums tends to pass along their own story with their mum.

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  2. I like this post. But then again, I’m biased. 🙂

    My ex-N is a Capricorn but his narcissism had him so bent out of shape that he was indefinable as any sign, really.

    One of my best real-life friends is a Capricorn. We liked each other right away (our thin-slicing coincided) and we are on the same page about many things.

    I’ve gotten on well with Cappies and didn’t know there were “supposed” to be any difficulties until I read your Capricorn posts. I like you, but you can be cautious of me because I can be weird too. 😉

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    • Thank you, Lynette 🙂

      I was just reading about a prominent Capricorn man who has just done a very Capricorn thing to do when challenged – Jeff Bezos: No thank you, Mr. Pecker

      It’s a fascinating story. Human chess at its finest.

      Any Sun sign can be a narcissist. I’ve read a few posts by astrologers trying to see if they can narrow down personality disorders in natal charts, but it’s difficult to do because all placements and aspects have options – dark side, light side, medium in between. The Sun sign can give you a loose idea of how the personality disorder might play out through that individual, ego-wise, since the Sun = ego. My mom was a Leo and her NPD always has to be a dramatic performance, always seeking to be in the spotlight. Whereas my dad was a Cancer, and his NPD was more about subterfuge, side-stepping, and using his sensitive radar to find the weak spots of others to manipulate them. A Cappy with NPD is a grinding machine with a grudge.

      Leos and Capricorns tend to get along. They can both be rather pompous, bossy and prideful, and they appreciate that in each other 😉 They tend to fall out over those similarities.

      I’m cautious of everyone including myself. It’s just how I roll. I like you more when you’re being weird 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • I enjoyed reading the Bezos piece and I get what you’re saying about the Capricorn response. The Capricorn friend that I mentioned above behaves similarly when challenged.

        My apologies – I didn’t mean to suggest that only certain signs can be narcissists. 🙂

        My ex-N was certainly that! I love that description. I have a grudge-bearing millenial grinding machine at work who leans towards narcissism, although as time goes on, I’m beginning to think that this person may be a narcissist. There is a lot of other evidence of it. Other than my ex-N, I’ve never seen anyone carry a grudge like this person can. I’m very careful in considering how to manage this situation.

        Hahaha – yup. 🙂 Bossy, pompous and prideful!

        Yes, I can be weird. I know that my thinking can be sort of odd or off-beat at times. 🙂

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        • No need for apologies, I didn’t think you were suggesting anything, I simply went off on a tangent which interested me 🙂

          They’re a millennial = they have a lot to be angry about, the previous generations have effed them over and are still effing them over. Find out what it is that they’re really grudging over, maybe they’re a ‘golden child’ who has been forced to live a life which isn’t the one they want for themselves but they feel duty-bound to do it, or they feel trapped by a narcissistic societal system with no escape. Find out what it’s really about – it’s not about you, so who is it about?

          Liked by 1 person

          • Interesting. This person avoids talking to me, even refusing to say good morning at times, and there have been other problems with varying degrees of gravity. I am part of that previous generation, so I think I may be part of the problem, esp given the behaviour … Thanks for the input. 🙂

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  3. I have been seeing this wonderful Capricorn man for a 1 year and 1/2 but in a friends benefit kind of way but I have known him since we were teenagers for 35 years. He is hot and cold but was very sweet from the beginning and won me over. He does not like to talk about feelings and when we meet for sex he likes to have his space for a few weeks and can be agitated of contacted to early. He does work a lot. I really just don’t get him at tmes. When we meet he is the sweetest guy and makes the meeting just right. I can never tell if he likes me or not and I am sweet to him. He sometimes gets mad if certain things are discussed and says we need to stop but then he welcomes me back but with distance and we continue what we do. How long do I need to wait to contact him so he does not worry about attachment? I really like him a lot but I cant tell him that. He has been through a divorce and hurt by her and another women. I treat him as if nothing happened or was wrong each time we meet up because he does not like to linger on things. I am doing everything right. He does tell me he loves what we do and how everything feels but he has stopped with complimenting and other things I have noticed. He has e so confused.

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  4. I have been seeing this capricorn guy as a friend with benefits situation and we were really good friends since we were teens so about 30 years. He is edgy when the convocation of feelings come up or I rxpresd my your feelings for him and he won’t contact me for a while and will get upset if I contact him too soon but when we meet up or is sweet and says he loves what we do and how I make him feel. After I leave he just don’t want to communicate and talks very little when he sees me. St the beginning hr told Mr hr loved a ll my qualities and even told Mr there was a song that would always remind him of mr but he likes things as is. How long do I have to wait to contact him so he don’t get bosrd. I really lokr him and believe my feelings are grown but he can be so cold at times. I know he is busy s lot and I always treat him with the most respect ever. He confuses Mr and sometimes hr says it needs to stop but welcomes me back but with very little convo. I would do anything for him and I am sure he knows. I lovr what we do in the bedroom as well. Things have changed so much but he has definitely won me over. am I waiting my time? He was hurt on two relationships

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    • Hi Tanna 🙂

      Sorry for the delay in replying.

      After reading both of your comments, I would say that the most important thing for you to do right now is to be clear with yourself about what you would like from this relationship – Do you want to have a more serious relationship with him? Is this “friends with benefits” something you are no longer happy doing?

      What do you, Tanna, want? What do you really want?

      Once you are clear with yourself about what you want, then you need to make things clear with him too.

      If the relationship between the two of you has changed for you, then you need to explain that to him, because most likely he isn’t aware that things have changed for you. It sounds like he’s very wrapped up in himself, and he’s used to you catering to him, putting his needs, feelings, issues, first and not expressing your own or asking him to consider your side of the relationship.

      You need to have a conversation with your Capricorn guy about your “friends with benefits” arrangement and figure out what it is both of you would like and expect from this relationship in the now.

      Does he just want to keep it casual with you, keep doing the “friends with benefits” as you originally started out, or does he also have deeper feelings for you now and want something more serious?

      What about you – would you be happy continuing with the relationship as it is or do you want something more?

      It’s not going to be easy to discuss it with him because he sounds like he shuts down, and thus shuts you down too, when anything he doesn’t want to talk about is part of the conversation.

      While it is sweet of you to be considerate of his feelings and issues, you also need to respect your own feelings and needs.

      It’s not your fault he was hurt by his ex-wife and another woman, and while you do have to be aware of how his past relationships with women have affected him, it’s not your responsibility to heal his hurt, and you certainly can’t put your life on hold while waiting for him to heal his pain, and notice you as more than someone he turns to for sex and nurturing of his needs.

      Be clear with yourself about what you need. Then be clear with him about it.

      If you’re using astrology, it’s worth checking out your own natal chart and the transits to it, and looking beyond Sun signs. In relationship astrology Moon signs, Mars and Venus are important placements to consider.

      Best wishes!

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      • Thank you for the reply. Since this post I did not try and contact him but he did in fact contact me and invited me over to have a few drinks with him, talk, and watch a little TV. This was different from our normal visits for sure but it ended the way they always do. He did in fact tell me he has been stressed and busy with work and made sure to let me know he has a lot going on these next two weeks but will be contacting me. I know he is a busy man and works a lot. I just can’t help but think about how different and into me he was this last time. I don’t want to ruin a good thing and maybe he needs to figure out his your feelings on his own because I don’t want to pressure him. I am pretty sure he likes me but hides his feelings for his own reasons.

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