I’ve been gifted a Random Act of Kindness Award by Rory of a Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip.
Rory is a true gentleman.
He said some very kind and lovely things about me and the other bloggers he gifted with the award which you can read here —> R.A.K Award – A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip.
He referred to us as “ladies”… that made me chuckle with regards to myself.
If I make the effort, dress up, sit still and keep my mouth firmly shut in a shy smile, I can appear ladylike, but at some point the facade will crack open and out will pop something which will shock. Even bad boys get embarrassed in my company, and end up running away screaming.
Credit goes to my father who taught me that it was okay to be a female asshole – a very useful skill to have if you don’t want to get constantly harassed just because you have tits.
My mother tried to lecture, nag and shame his lesson out of me, and turn me into a nice passive-aggressive angry at having to be nice lady. She was always going on about killing people with kindness…
I’m fairly certain that’s not the kind of kindness which this award is about.
The award was created by Mws R Writings, and you can check out the birth of this award and her vision for it in her post —> Random Acts of Kindness Award/RAKA – Mws R Writings.
The rules are:
1 – Tell who you nominate and why.
I’m a misfit, an outsider, in RL and online – if you met me in person, the only surprise you might have is that I’m pretty much the same offline as I am online. I’m strange, weird, a crazy mess, a Janet from Another Planet. Other bloggers often don’t know what to make of me, and that can make them choose to avoid me and my blog.
I’ve had a few bloggers feel sorry for me because I don’t get many ‘Likes’ on my posts from other bloggers, but they can’t see my blog’s stats. Even when I share my stats I don’t think they register because for a lot of bloggers, stats are the devil, and the act of blogging for them is about being part of the blogging community, interacting with other bloggers, joining in with blogging activities, writing posts for other bloggers to read.
For me blogging is about sharing myself with the whole of the internet, the worldwide community. It started as a challenge from me to myself… it’s become a passion.
I have had the honour and pleasure of meeting via comment some amazing people from around the world. Thank you very much for visiting, viewing, commenting, letting me share myself with you and sharing yourselves with me!
I’ve been blogging for several years and have interacted with many different bloggers, quite a few no longer blog. I really miss a couple of them as they were really good blogging buddies.
Lynette from In The Net – Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival is one of my longtime blogging buddies. I adore her and she adores me, she even dreams about me (I can say things like with her, which is partly why I love her). She’s witty, wise, insightful, curious, talented, feisty, fierce, brave and beautiful. We’ve had some amazing comment-chats. We’ve both been through a lot during the time we’ve known each other, both online and offline. She has been a great friend. I am very glad she’s still here. Thank you very much, Lynette, for everything ❤
2 – Copy and share the picture that shows the award.
3 – Share a paragraph of something that impacted your own life in the way of receiving kindness or how you extended kindness to someone else.
Both my parents were narcissists. They both saw kindness as a weakness, and as a means to an end. If either of them were being kind to you… it meant you were about to be used or were already being used.
My mother expected undying gratitude from those upon whom she bestowed her deliberate acts of saintly good person kindness. My father just expected you to do whatever it was he wanted you to do. They would both turn on a dime and turn into raging furies if their kindness didn’t get them the result they expected.
Growing up in that environment made me acutely tuned into genuine kindness which was simply done and expected nothing in return. Those moments of genuine kindness were like drops of water in a desert.
One time a friend of my father’s gave me a letter wherein he complimented me on something I had done, and told me never to give up on myself. I didn’t really know this man, and I didn’t think he’d noticed me. I was floored that he had seen what most people did not see, chose not to see. I do know why he did it, and I am truly grateful that he did. That letter was an oasis.
4 – Nominate anyone or share to your own page. If you so choose to Participate. Tag or pingback to the original person who gifted you, or the original post.
And I’m almost done with this post, I just have one more thing to say.
Rory mentioned in a post the other day that:
“Recently l acquired an anon email stalker – who feels quite free to tell me what they think about what l do – sometimes in not so polite terminology.”– excerpt from A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip’s The Versatile Blogger Award
That’s been bugging me. For several reasons, one of which is that a lot of bloggers ‘Liked’ the post, and a few commented, but no one (including me) said anything with regards to that statement about a person harassing Rory.
Maybe no one else noticed it, but if they did…
Why are we all ignoring it, are we hoping it’ll just go away if we pretend it’s not there and not happening. Are we afraid that if we say anything that poison pen will point its nib and splatter us with its toxic ink?
I know Rory is an adult, fully capable of looking after himself, solving his own problems, and all of that, and that people gain personal strength when they have to deal with life’s challenges on their own without support from others.
I should probably not interfere…
So I’m not interfering.
But I am going to say something. If you would like some help and support with this email stalker, Rory, just ask me.
I’ve had people do things like that to me, mostly in RL especially when I was younger and trying to be a good person, kind, thoughtful, a lady, etc. I tried doing what my mother wanted me to do, and it was a very painful, frustrating experience. I allowed myself to be bullied, insulted, abused. I put up with others treating me like shit, and did it with a polite smile on my face, while internally I wanted to rip their face off with my bare hands but I couldn’t do that because I was supposed to be a nice person.
My father’s method works better.
If someone is being an asshole to you, and you’ve given them enough polite chances to stop treating you disrespectfully, then you’re well within your rights to let them know how you really feel. Being cool about it isn’t getting you anywhere, in fact that person just keeps going and going, prodding and poking you trying to get a rise out of you, break your cool and ruin your blogging experience for you.
Kindness towards others is wonderful… but sometimes it’s not the solution needed for a problem, especially if being kind towards another requires being unkind to yourself.
Ideally all of us bloggers should rise up against this kind of behaviour, and support our fellow blogger as a community who protects their own.
If you would like to show your support for Rory – Go do it! Let him know you’re a Rory Supporter!