SYW: Cut To The Quick

I have man flu at the moment. So I’m a bit fuggy in the pink labyrinth membrane. I had forgotten how useful a momentary sickness can be as a pause to reconsider…

things such as what you’ve been up to with your life time.

What your patterns, habits, rituals and rhythms of daily living, thought, feeling, emotions, etc, have been, and whether you’re going to keep getting up to that kind of thing or if it’s time to make a conscious choice, an energy shift, in your comings, goings, doings, and beings.

It’s definitely time for a personal energy shift for me.

I can usually sense those energy shifts approaching long before they make landfall, the clues are always there… but sometimes I ignore them until they hit me with a thwack!

Sometimes it works out better doing things that way… at least for me, anyway.

While considering that concept… I’ve been observing this and that, me, you, and others, life, et cetera.

It always intrigues me how much things which seem random tie into, connect up with, what I’m thinking, feeling, sensing… and explain things, solve a puzzle, move things along, get the flow going in a new or different direction, or simply adjust the present slightly, enough to make it more of something and less of something else.

If you’re wondering what I’m going on about… I often wonder that too.

Anyway, let’s move on to…

Melanie of Sparks From A Combustible Mind’s Share Your World 4-8-19 questions.

What does a successful relationship look like to you?

Supposedly this is one of the oldest known photos of Koreans – 1863

Isn’t that a great photo!

Don’t you sometimes wish you were someone from an old photo – they just seem so much cooler than us modern people seem in our photos. For instance – they didn’t feel the need to do that weird shit known as “smiling”.

I came across that photo while looking up ‘hanbok’ online.

They “look” like they have a successful relationship, whether they actually had whatever a “successful relationship” means is another matter entirely which only they could tell us if they could tell us.

Would they tell us if they could?

Was a “successful relationship” the same thing then as it is now?

Were they as… never mind…

INTP excerpt via 16 Personalitites

The secret to maintaining the “look” of a “successful relationship” is to keep quiet and let others invent their own stories about it.

Sometimes it is better to let others just assume stuff about you and your relationship with yourself and others.

Just after… or was it before… the ‘hanbok’ search I also searched for – Why does genuine authenticity scare people?

I often do seemingly random searches based on a vague thought or sensation just to see what comes up, and what came up for that was a very interesting article:

Forbes: Let’s Face It — We’re Deathly Afraid Of Authenticity by Kathy Caprino

It’s a beautifully crafted article, and worth a read if you’re interested, here’s a quick excerpt:

Four realizations began to dawn on me:
• Being brutally honest and sharing very unflattering (and even frightening and socially unacceptable) things about our lives and experiences is highly unusual
• Doing so allows others to do so
• People are desperate for more realness and authenticity – in themselves and in their lives
• We so very rarely come face-to-face with true authenticity and raw realness, that when we do, it’s scary and hard for us”

– excerpt from Forbes: Let’s Face It — We’re Deathly Afraid Of Authenticity by Kathy Caprino

In my personal view, all relationships begin and end with the relationship we have with ourselves.

Getting to know others is about getting to know yourself, and getting to know yourself is about getting to know others.

What you want from others is about what you need from yourself…

and so on.

Lots of people have noticed and mentioned this… we kind of need to notice and mention it for ourselves before it sinks in because we’re human and… that’s how being human seems to work and not work.

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?

I’m not really interested in winning an Olympic medal…

Random link: Academy of Ideas – How to Overcome the Downward Pull of Other People

What do you wish you knew more about?

Lots of things… which is why I’m very grateful the internet exists in my lifetime.

The other day I followed a link on a post to a transcript of a podcast (I don’t really have the patience to listen to podcasts so I appreciate transcripts of them) and discovered that there are people who actually believe that school shootings in the USA are staged…!?!

If you’d like to explore the link I explored: This American Life – 670: Beware The Jabberwock

The story was fascinating, viewing things from multiple perspectives.

To me the Internet is a source of knowledge and a tool for gathering information (not always in the obvious way). It is about exploring alternate realities, perspectives, facts, lives, experiences, and so on, and understanding more about this human world which is very truly madly inane and insane at times.

What is better in your opinion – asking for forgiveness or permission?

Common sense.

This questions reminds me of a TV drama I was watching the other day (Something About 1 Percent). The designated stupid bitch of the drama (who was superfluous to the story, but was in there anyway – not really sure why) decided that the means to achieve her “happily ever after ending in love” with someone (whom she did not truly love but had told herself she did for this reason and that, and pride and greed and convention, etc) who repeatedly told her he did not love her and never would, was to hire some goons to kidnap her love rival (there’s more to it which just boggles the mind… and would give you man flu too).

Of course she didn’t ask permission… why would she!?! She wasn’t the kind to ask permission – that’s for lowly beings and she was an elevated being.

What could possibly go wrong with this plan?

It’s all about love, right… and anything goes to win that thing!

When it all went wrong (surprise, surprise) and the designated stupid bitch had to deal with the unpleasant for her consequences of her actions, guess what she did… she went over to her love rival’s place of abode and demanded to be forgiven.

The love rival forgave her due to not wanting the situation to escalate beyond where it had already escalated to – enough was enough.

Designated stupid bitch being unrealistically for TV drama purposes designed not to know the difference between anything (not just logical right and wrong) decided that the forgiveness she was given meant her carte was blanche again, so she could rewind and start her stupid bitch bullshit once again (luckily the TV drama decided to write her out at this point).

One of the more popular posts on my blog is – Forgive and Forget and Fuck Yourself Over and Over Again – it was inspired by my experience of forgiving my particular narcissists on a regular basis and kicking myself for doing that since it gave them ‘permission’ to repeatedly screw me over. I have since shifted the way I relate to myself and others in this context and scenario.

Sometimes you need to just go for it and break the rules… once you choose to do that, you need to own the act and consequences. Pioneers take risks and know that those risks come with more risks.

Sometimes asking for permission is one of the most respectful acts you can commit to.

Sometimes asking for forgiveness is a brave admission of new understanding… sometimes you’re just really sorry you got caught doing something you hoped you’d get away with, could blame someone else for, and you hate the ego dent of having to admit you effed up and must now play this asking forgiveness game which you’ll only play as long as needs must. That’s a waste of everyone’s life time… isn’t it?

5. Genuine people can admit their faults.

To be true to your feelings and opinions you must first be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior—which means confronting the bad along with the good. As such, genuine people are likely to recognize their faults and shortcomings, to accept them, and to take responsibility for their actions as a result. Indeed, their general ability to own their faults, mistakes, and failures extends beyond how they see themselves such that…

excerpt from – The 7 Habits of Truly Genuine People by Guy Winch

What’s the best thing about your life right now?

Man flu…

it’s giving me a pause for hmmm…

to cut to the quick of what really matters for me at this time in my life now.

Sometimes you need a fuggy brain to understand things clearly.

“The world is, of course, nothing but our conception of it.”

― Anton Chekhov

6 comments

  1. Thanks Ursula for leaving your bed of pain and Sharing Your World (but not that flu) with us! 🙂 I wondered where you were, now I can say “asked and answered.” Hydrate (lots and lots of fluid), take vitamin C (as nature intended or in pill or capsule form) and stay warm. A nice hot steamy bath to soak in, perhaps with eucalyptus leaves in it or lavender, will help with the aches and pains too, as well as help decongest your sinuses, should they be clogged up. Take care! It’s been quiet ’round here, too quiet.

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  2. I also wondered if you were ill or dealing with some unexpected something or other. I hope you feel better soon! 🙂
    I enjoyed very much your fuggy brain wanderings and looked at the links as well. The Sandy Hook conspiracy/fakery is mind-boggling but not surprising. One immutable thing I know is that people will believe anything, and the others who are left with their jaws hanging open in amazement just have to walk away from it.
    A few days ago I was talking to an acquaintance who was wearing a red DT hat. This is not something you see often in Canada (even in the context of our own politics – it’s sort of culturally inappropriate) so that alone was curious. But what made it even more so was the fact that he is a member of an identifiable minority, one that has suffered greatly from racism. I put my jaw back and mentally walked away.
    I think that’s probably one of the reasons why authenticity can suffer (although I understand it’s more about personal authenticity); it’s difficult to express yourself in an authentic manner if criticism of it is at the ready (including for the DT supporter).
    Great post. 🙂

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    • Thank you, Lynette ❤

      When I was younger I used to wish that I could read people's minds… the internet is basically that wish come true. Online we get to read what's going on inside people's minds, and some of it is truly gob-smackingly bizarre and illogical. There are so many alternate versions of reality.

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