Sorry To Bother You…

Last night I watched a fantastic film.

Sorry To Bother You (2018) – In an alternate present-day version of Oakland, telemarketer Cassius Green discovers a magical key to professional success, propelling him into a universe of greed. (sound bite synopsis via IMDb)

I have no idea if you’ll find Sorry To Bother You to be a fantastic film too… what makes us go WOW!!! is often a mystery to us.

Why did that make me go WOW!!! especially when I was certain it couldn’t possibly do that, while that other thing which I was certain should make me go WOW!!! didn’t?

Why does this thing which made me go WOW!!! not make others go WOW!!! too?

What makes others go WOW!!! is definitely a mystery.

A mystery which the business world is always trying to solve, because things which make people go WOW!!! makes money for them. If they could just find the ultimate formula to make everyone in the world go WOW!!! then their bank account will also be going WOW!!!

All of the above was part of the story of the film.

The main character, who is black, gets told by a co-worker that if he uses his white voice he’ll be more successful as a telemarketer. He tries it out and… that’s just the beginning of a very bizarre trippy film which ends not at all where you’d expect it to.

Usually I’m quite adept at predicting what’s going to happen next in films because I’ve watched a hella lotta films, starting when I was about 5 yrs old… I’m 50 now.

Sorry to bother you with my age…

I get excited when a story veers off the usual trope course, either by messing with tropes deliberately, as in you were expecting this to happen but haha nope we went thataway instead of the usualway, or because the person who created it is from another planet or maybe is exploring one of David K. Lewis’ other possible worlds.

This film does a bit of messing with tropes and playing with the concept of another possible world. It’s impossible to predict. Seriously that ending and everything in between… WTFWTFWOW!!!

Did I hear someone ask – Who is David K. Lewis?

Or was that an internal echo of the question I asked while reading the latest post from a professional philosopher’s philosophy blog I follow – The Splintered Mind – which contained a list of The 295 Most-Cited Contemporary Authors in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy compiled by David Schwitzgebel… which had David K. Lewis as #1.

I like reading philosophical stuff for fun… I know nothing, which is why it is fun to read about it.

David K. Lewis had a theory about… well, now I know where Richard Bach may have found his inspiration for his alternate selves living alternate lives plot for his book One.

It’s sort of something along the lines of – If you were going to do something but didn’t, there’s an alternate world which has an alternate you in it who did do that something.

Which brings me to…

Sorry to bother you with my tangential thinking… yeah, don’t worry about trying to follow me, my reckless runaway train of thought, there’s an alternate you in an alternate world who is following me and is really regretting doing that 😉

A post I read this morning on an astrology blog I also regularly follow – Planet Waves.

This is the part of that post which caught my attention:

“For quite some time, the astrology has been focused on Aries and Capricorn. Currently, many slow movers are making their way across these two signs — Chiron, Saturn, Pluto and Eris, and minor planets Salacia, Pholus and Quaoar. Uranus recently spent seven years in Aries.

The centerpiece is the Saturn-Pluto conjunction that is happening in Capricorn now, which feels like pressure, the ground shifting, and changes that nobody understands. The Aries piece tends to make people obsess over themselves and either tune out how others are feeling, or make it difficult to perceive.

All this Aries and Cap is hot energy. Aries is hot, and Capricorn is hot in the style of a volcano or earthquake. And the square presents a tense balancing act, where one goes back and forth from the developments (or feelings) in Aries to those in Capricorn, struggling to make them work together.

This is a big part of the perplexing chaos we’re feeling: the sense that nothing seems to fit, or that things are only deteriorating.

The Virgo experience is going to take some pressure off the prevailing Capricorn experience; that’s one of the things that trines do. And we need to let off some of this intensity, somehow. Virgo to my astrological sense will also present opportunities to put things together: to make connections, and to experience the sensation of weaving rather than of coming apart.

The essence of Virgo is integration, which is about integrity. You cannot have one without the other. It’s not always a pretty process (there can be contention, controversy, self-judgment and other forms of psychological or emotional struggle), but in the end, it usually works (as far as we’re willing to go).”

excerpt from Virgo: Another Slice of the Orange by Eric Francis Coppolino

Why did it get my attention?

Because in my natal chart I have Sun in Capricorn (which the transiting Pluto/Saturn conjunction is conjuncting). My Sun connects to natal Saturn in Aries (via a square), and natal Pluto in Virgo (via a trine).

Which means everything he’s talking about is something I have lived and live. I have experience of this… WOW!! I’m finally in sync with everyone else instead of out… maybe I could help shed some light on the perplexing puzzle he’s discussing since I’ve spent my entire life struggling with it and trying out different possible solutions.

I’ve made all the mistakes and messes already… and learned some stuff. Yes, yes there are always more mistakes, messes and learning to do.

I got rather excited and almost broke my lurker mode. I almost commented on that post. I almost did… and probably did in an alternate world as an alternate me.

I wonder if wished she hadn’t bothered and felt as though her sharing herself was a bother to other and that she should apologise to them for bothering them?

Sorry to bother you with me being myself and sharing that… 😉

That’s what stopped from commenting – an old issue.

An issue partially explained by the whole Sun/Saturn/Pluto Cap/Aries/Virgo connection in my natal chart.

To sum that up – I thought about sharing myself with you, but then I told myself that you wouldn’t be interested in me and what I had to share.

Sorry to bother you… sorry I bothered me by bothering you 😉

If you’ve ever commented on a blog post (or on other social media), sharing yourself with someone online, only to have your comment ignored…

Or if you’ve ever shared yourself with someone in RL, thinking your share of yourself was meaningful… only to have them not really hear it, they weren’t listening, maybe they were distracted by something on their phone, they were checking their social media to see if they’d got a reply to a comment they’d made on a post while you were talking…

or before the distraction of mobile phones…. they just weren’t interested because you were talking about yourself not them, and not something interesting to them.

That’s the issue I’m talking about.

Sorry to bother you with this issue 😉

Okay we’re sort of leaving the issue behind now for a bit and traveling back a few hours, through sleeping hours, to just after I’d finished watching the WOW!!! film when I played a bit of Assassins Creed Odyssey… the new Atlantis DLC story.

In the game we’re in Elysium – the level of afterlife which is sort of supposed to be heaven, but it’s gone rather hellish due to Persephone experiencing some “power corrupts” problems.

That’s the part which interested me…

The gameplay itself is what I imagine it’s like to read one of my posts when you’re not me.

In the gameplay we’re supposed to be going through heaven of sorts to get to hell of sorts… but we’re stuck in heaven and that’s so frustrating!!!

I got so confused by the gameplay that I had a mini-tantrum about it.

I don’t really have tantrums. I didn’t have them as a child – that was something only my parents were allowed to do, frequently. I was a stoic child. I was a stoic adult too. I sort of still do stoic but I’m not as invested in the role as I used to be.

When I get confused I get angry because I’m confused. I playfully kicked my legs a bit and scared my cat who had been sleeping peacefully next to me… lots of petting apologies were applied.

Sorry to bother you kitty cat 😉

Stop going off on tangents and get to the point, Ursula…

So, there was the scene with Persephone wherein the game character confronted her about being corrupted by power and becoming an abuser of power over others, and maybe she should take a good look at herself. Nope. She wasn’t having any of that because she was the victim here not everyone else who was suffering because she was suffering. She whined about her own story, being abducted by Hades (Pluto) and taken away from Mommie Dearest, Demeter… who had sent her a BFF (Hekate) who was betraying her (for her own good apparently… wtf!?!) but…

As you can probably tell from my Mommie Dearest remark… I have a slightly different take on the Persephone myth from the one the game has.

I did find it interesting that the game sort of turned Persephone into a narcissist playing the victim and excusing her victimisation of others because she was suffering and her suffering was more important than anyone else’s and excused her from being accountable for the shit she was doing which was turning heaven into hell. Not her fault, never her fault, everyone else was to blame.

Sorry to bother you with me talking about narcissists again 😉

I keep coming across articles which reference victim mode. Today I read one about “learned helplessness” – that one was the second article by a different author which connected difficulty losing weight with seeing yourself as a victim.

A quick example is – you feel victimised by your diet because you’re not allowed to eat things you like, and instead you have to eat stuff you don’t like because it’s “healthy”. At some point you rebel against your victimiser and eat a bunch of jammy donuts… then you victimise yourself for doing that.

The thought I had, which is rather odd but… doesn’t matter – we’ve all got fragments of Persephone within us.

Somewhere within each of us is a fragment of the victim archetype… who may end up victimising while trying to figure out how to solve the puzzle presented, turn the wound into healing, and such.

The main character in Sorry To Bother You faces a similar puzzle at the beginning of the film – his girlfriend even teases him for wanting to discuss what happens when the Sun explodes. He feels like his life is meaningless and anything he does is pointless.

Which leads to him grabbing onto a way out of feeling like a victim, which leads to him being in league with victimisers, which leads to… watch the film.

In some ways David K. Lewis’s theory has a connection to victim mode:

“Counterfactuals and modal realism

Lewis went on to publish Counterfactuals (1973), which contained an analysis of counterfactual conditionals in terms of the theory of possible worlds.

According to Lewis, what makes a statement of the form – “Had I made that shot our team would have won the game.” – true is that in any world where I make the shot but the world is otherwise as similar as possible to the actual one, our team wins the game. If there is a world maximally similar to ours where I make the shot but our team still loses, the counterfactual is false.

This treatment of counterfactuals is a variation or generalization of the one published by Robert Stalnaker a few years earlier, and consequently this kind of treatment is called the Stalnaker-Lewis theory.

excerpt from David K. Lewis’ Wiki page

The part of victim mode where you imagine alternate versions of the same scenario… with the alternate versions having a happy ending, but the ending you got isn’t the happy one. You failed. You lost. You didn’t get what you wanted.

You couldn’t eat the cake, while other people did, because you had to eat a small piece of carrot instead due to dietary restrictions (restrictions are often associated with Saturn).

You didn’t comment on a post even though you really wanted to because what would they care about you and what you had to say.

You remained stoic as a child instead of having a tantrum because what was the point, no one cared, no one ever listened, you didn’t matter, and the adults had the tantrums and look where that got them, having more tantrums as nothing was ever the happy ending they hoped for.

Is life on Earth just someone else’s Hell?

Who asked that and proposed that as one alternative way of looking at this crazy chaotic humaniverse? I know I’ve referenced it in one of my posts but… my mind is a sieve. It’s quite useful to have that kind of mind.

Some things do stick while most pours through.

Sorry to bother you with these things 😉

When I first started blogging and people started to comment on my posts… I didn’t reply. I only realised later that I really should reply. I realised that after I’d commented on posts and the bloggers hadn’t replied. Oh… that feels… so I don’t want people who comment on my blog to feel like I felt.

I became rather rigid about – must reply to all comments. If a blogger didn’t I’d think less of them. I was rather up my own arse about how I, as a blogger, replied to all comments. Sigh…

Sometime later… I still think a blogger ideally should try to reply to comments, but I’m not such an ass about it.

There’s a post I wrote, an astrological one about Chiron – the wounded healer, which is one of my blog’s more popular posts. It’s an old post. The last comment I received on that, years after it had been posted, before I closed comments on old posts, is one I didn’t answer.

The person pissed me off with their comment, it was rather passive-aggressive or at least that’s how I experienced it, and I wanted to calm down before answering… and eventually I just thought, fuck it, I’m leaving it unanswered.

I still think about it… I still think about many interactions and experiences I’ve had via blogging.

Why do I still think about that… several reasons.

One of which is about having left it unanswered – I broke my own rules, how did that feel? Was it liberating or frustrating to my self-image or …?

I recall my reaction to it at the time – which I did a post about. In that post I asked for feedback about the situation… it was one of the few times I can recall asking those who read my blog for help with a situation affecting me. I usually don’t do that because… reasons.

Sorry to bother you 😉

In some ways it’s a classic Pluto/Saturn/Sun Capricorn/Aries/Virgo conundrum as described by the Planet Waves article.

In my natal chart I also have North Node in Aries (which happens to be conjunct my Chiron in Pisces) = in this life you have to first and foremost rely on yourself not on others, and so you might have to boldly go and make a mess of mistakes while boldly going. People might not want anything to do with you and your mess and you have to be okay with that.

Sorry to bother you with my mess 😉

Oh, btw, for those struggling with distractions when they’re focused on something like writing a post for their blog – pay attention to the content of the supposed distraction, it may be a source of wisdom for you.

I got interrupted and distracted several times during the writing of this post, the most recent one was as I was writing this bit about distractions and interruptions.

I shit you not.

My partner wanted to tell me about the women who found a diamond while looking up – How to find a diamond – on the internet and checking to see what her kid was up to… she saw something glint, and it was a diamond. And that’s how you find a diamond… WOW!!!

Sorry to bother you… said the diamond 😉

That’s it from me… you now!


  1. Ahh lol I haven’t read your post… But you know I was thinking to changing my next post title to Sorry to Bother You. 😶


    • Ha! Well there’s nothing to stop you from using it as your post title too other than that human tendency to want to be original, to want to be the first to do something and not liking it when someone else gets there first 😉

      I used the film title because I say and think “I’m sorry to bother you” frequently, a theme in my life has been feeling that my existence is bothersome. And I loved the film, I could relate to the main character and his journey.


  2. Hi Ursula🤓 (my emoji for you)
    When I first saw the preview for “Sorry To Bother You”, I was like “whaaa?…who would make a movie about Black folks denoting to their proper (White) speaking voice, we have to do this all the time?” The silliness of the proper voice was…silly but that’s the comedy in it. But since you explained it’s about those alternate realities, those what if time lines, makes sense. I may have to check it out. Did you know the lead actor LaKeith Stanfield just fell into acting, no training whatsoever. He just went to an audition because he wanted to give it a whirl, and BOOM look at him now! But those are the best kinds of actors, aren’t they?

    The extreme anyone of color has to go through to be taken less abruptly or at least listened to. It’s like when you get a call from a telemarketer, English isn’t their first language and you can tell but they have to use a fake non native names. I think it’s demeaning. Let them use their birth names. The telemarketing business is in a sense creating an alternate reality for the telemarketer ro make the sale🤔

    Alternate realities are fun. I think in hypotheticals and alternate timelines of my life all the time; although, I’m happy with my life, alternate realities make for great plotlines, like my own personal movie. Changing up outcomes as I see fit.

    I appreciate the Virgo reading, BTW. Always looking for why I do the things I do. I like connections and integrating those connections, quite fun as long as they’re character/personality breakdowns(Yet, I couldn’t see myself as a detective, physical evidence is not my forte).


    • Hey, Scherezade 😀 (I have a limited emoji range – love yours!!!)

      I recently watched BlacKkKlansman which highlighted the white voice too. Sorry To Bother You used the voices of white comedians for the white voice which was very clever because it was surreal. Silly but not silly. Funny but not funny.

      It jarred and thus you as the viewer/listener have to notice it.

      Thing is white people do the white voice too. In the old days of TV and film regional accents had to be unlearned and all actors and TV presenters had to learn to do a proper voice – have the same white voice. But of course white people are white and so don’t really get it.

      I think bringing attention to it the way Sorry To Bother You did is important because maybe just maybe ordinary white folks will get it, perhaps not get-get it but enough to stop being so dense. Remember when white folks got all upset because of Black Lives Matter and did the whole White Lives Matter Too thing… head hits wall! The point needs to be repeatedly repeated in different ways until it gets passed the outer fearful-angry-refusing to hear protective shell and gets into the soft tissue, rewiring old programming bit by bit.

      In one scene in STBY there’s this conversation about – Are Italians considered white? When did Italians become white? About 50 years ago – it was clever, reminded me of anecdotes about my family, my maternal grandfather’s attitude towards my dad, his objections to my parents’ marriage, and my paternal great-grandmother’s view of my colouring when I was born. She apparently saw me as the first white baby in the family. One time I was sitting in a movie theatre alone and this little Italian girl sat next to me, started stroking my skin, said she just couldn’t resist touching it, she wanted to know what it felt like and if it was real. It was freaky, but I was the freaky one, especially since I’m covered in freckles and kind of orange-skinned.

      Humans are insane… maybe in an alternate humaniverse we’re not insane. I wonder what that’s like.

      My partner just came in as I was writing this reply to you. He’s been watching a documentary about the band L7. Apparently they were considered to be “dangerous women” – why? Because they didn’t stick with the whole stereotype of women being soft, sweet, slightly dumb, non-swearing entities wearing nice outfits and aprons.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Too funny! I wrote the comment about being a pest before I read this post.

    I’m going to watch that movie tonight…its available free on Hulu. I’ve been trying to get through a library book and now I’ve got a deadline (non-renewable due date) and that’s making all my contrariness kick in. I’m gonna quit fighting myself, watch the movie and return the book partially read.

    Every time you wrote “WOW” I kept thinking of the creepy marionette girl in Dave Made A Maze… “High Five!”…shudder

    I may do a part 2 after the movie…fair warning😉


    • Synchronicities are cool, aren’t they 🙂

      I can totally relate to the feeling of “am I a pest?”… there is a certain power in that feeling but it takes a while to find that diamond 😉

      Haha! Yes, the High Five doll!!! WTF!?! Is it a person or is it not… hmmm…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I get a lot of unsolicited job applications. I don’t usually respond to these ever but today I got an email from someone checking on the status of an application that he had submitted a couple of months back. He wasn’t at all someone I would hire because the required training wasn’t there and he’s also an international applicant to a field where qualified citizens come first. However, I know what it’s like to be frustrated looking for a job and thought I would reply with reasons why I wouldn’t be able to hire him and suggestions for where he might be more successful.

    A couple of hours later he sent an aggressive response arguing that I could hire him and basically should hire him, thereby proving why I shouldn’t hire him. At one point he said, “I mean my words.” What was that???

    Why am I telling you this? Oh yes, this incident came to me as I was reading why you usually respond to all your comments, and your thoughts about the commenter whom you didn’t respond to. It occurred to me that no matter how even-handed we try to be, there are those who just won’t accept delivery; they just want to fuss, or maybe need to fuss. I wondered about the applicant and whether he was just frustrated and feeling crappy or is just trying to press buttons and get reactions. Maybe it’s neither.

    I’m going to look for this movie. Hope I didn’t bother you too much. 😉


    • Haha! You never bother me, Lynette, and if you ever do it’s the good kind of bother 😉

      I can see many connections between my post and your incident. Great share!

      I think what you did, giving him the truth about why he wasn’t hired was informative and of value. Most people don’t take the time to give pertinent information because of red tape, legalities, everyone trying to not offend anyone else and such, being too busy to give personal attention, etc. It probably hit him hard with a problem he keeps encountering and he may have been pissed off with himself for being an international applicant, not having the right training, and other things which are part of his life story. The aggressive response reflected his story… and perhaps a social story about the aggressive chick in the nest getting more food, surviving, succeeding due to being bully-ish.

      I wonder if his “I mean my words” was him talking to himself? Maybe he’s experiencing a facet of imposter syndrome… perhaps he’s on a career path which isn’t one he really wants for himself, so he keeps having to say to himself “this is what I want” = “I mean my words”? But does he really mean his words?

      Perhaps he feels no one listens, hears him…? But you listened and heard him, and he effed that up… perhaps because he’s so used to being ignored that when he got attention he didn’t know how to deal with it?

      The last bit is something which has happened to me in the past. You get into this groove of never being taken seriously or listened to and you keep hoping someone will hear you but you’re not prepared for it when it happens that you eff it up by getting overexcited.

      I’m just riffing with it.

      It ties in with the astrology which I referred to – Capricorn, Aries and Virgo place focus on personal integrity albeit in different ways. Before you can stand firmly in the land of personal integrity you have to figure out who you really are, and what it is that you really mean when you’re saying something. So I mean my words… but what do those words mean to you?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Part 2
    O – M -G! The beginning was like yeah, yeah, yeah… then more yeah, yeah big decisions… then BOOM!…. “The Jade Door” …started going a little noir… political statements…big finale…hurray… ummmmm…..wait, that’s different…WHOA! (whoa hee hee hee)

    Thanks for the recommendation! Waaaaay better than the book I didnt finish.


    • I love your serialised comment style, Angie 😀 It’s totally unique to you!

      I’ve forced myself in the past to finish books I wasn’t really into because… reasons. It’s so great to just give ’em the finger 😉 Who cares if 9 out of 10 people insist this is a must-read for intellectual blah blah blah one-upmanship.

      I’ve never read The Catcher in the Rye. J.D. Salinger was a Capricorn.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My serialized comments are partly an adaptation to being constantly interrupted and partly because when I get a new thought that’s all bright and shiny I want to share it with others so they can see how pretty it is. I also like gold stars to paste on my forehead😉

        I’ve read Catcher…my opinion? Yawn😴 Maybe I dont have the correct mindset to appreciate it. Thank everything sacred and profane for THAT!😉


  6. Thank you for your insights. 🙂 Made me think, as you usually do.

    I agree, what do those words mean to you? I described this situation to my M who suggested (and this is something I’ve heard before) that this person maybe thinks that it’s hard to find employees in the north and that we will take lesser qualified applicants because of that … we also pay really, really well. It’s funny because we have very standardised requirements – they are what they are and you can’t get around them. There are no exceptions, even for those who might think they’re exceptional. 😉

    The idea of wanting to be heard and then screwing it up when it happens has also happened to me. What used to really frustrate me is when I was partly heard – selected bits that were usually out of context were then hung on me like a suit. “Yeah but that’s not what I meant … “ gets ignored because it doesn’t fit the alternate narrative. I grew up with that but have encountered it elsewhere too and now take it more in stride because in my personal life I choose to be with people who listen.


    • Oh yep, the one where bits are heard and then taken out of context, used in a certain way which makes you go argh! so you try to explain what you meant and it’s like digging a hole in quicksand.

      I have to admit I got so used to being around people who don’t listen that people who do listen freak me out… love it but also shit I was babbling and just messing around… it’s fun 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha. My mom used to tell me that I bothered people, so I’m always in the mind-frame of, “Sorry to bother you.” But, I try to ignore that old broken record and live my life forward.


    • In the UK “Sorry to bother you” is almost a greeting. Saying “Sorry” is a relax. I once said “Sorry” to a lamp post after I bumped into it because I wasn’t looking where I was going. It’s kind of funny because if you say “Sorry to bother you” a lot it ends up being what bothers people 😉 Life is full of ironies.

      There’s a recurring sketch from a British comedy show, I think it’s from The Fast Show, where this one character ends all his interactions with people with “I’ll get me (my) coat” which is another way of saying “Sorry to bother you”.

      Oh and there’s that awesome sketch from Monty Python’s Flying Circus with the guy who apologises profusely for bothering everyone whose lives were disrupted by his multiple murders… this is a link to a transcript of that sketch –

      I also have that – I’m bothering people – narrative in my head. I tend to chat with it when it pops up and logic it out. Other times I just tell it to stop bothering me. Sometimes I think – well, maybe my purpose in life is to be a pea under mattresses 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Haha. Saying your sorry to a lamp post makes a good comedy sketch, too. And, Monty Python….hilarious.

        Yeah, so you’ve got the best/worst of both worlds. Italians who never apologize and yell at each other. Brits who are always saying “sorry to bother you.”

        I like the idea of chatting with the “I’m bothering people” narrative in your head. I usually tell it to “talk to the hand” these days, but it still tries to nag at me. 😜

        Liked by 1 person

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