When What Was Once Hidden Is Revealed

I was just watching my cat watching a squirrel burying treasure under the weeping willow.

Shhh… don’t tell anyone you know where the treasure is buried.

Squirrels get squirrelly when they realise you’re watching them. They’ll pretend to bury their treasure… hehehehe… you thought it was there but they didn’t bury it there because they realised you were watching.

Squirrels are rather fascinating.

One of the treasures the squirrel was burying are seed pods which come from a tree in the garden (can’t remember what it’s called and can’t be bothered to re-look it up for the umpteenth time). Those seed pods are covered in spikes (nope, it’s not a Horse Chestnut) and the squirrel wraps the prickly seed pods in a leaf to carry them safely in its mouth.

Or at least that’s what I’ve concluded it’s doing with the leaves by watching it.

I suppose I could look it up to see if a professional natural science person has posted about this, made it official, and I’m right.

I do love looking things up…

But sometimes it’s better to just look and think for yourself, and not look for confirmation of what you thought about for yourself.

Sometimes it isn’t about being right… it’s about something else.

Then again it can be fun to look things up, find that you’re wrong and… hmmm… about it.

The other day I read a brilliant article – The Amazon Is Not Earth’s Lungs – Humans could burn every living thing on the planet and still not dent its oxygen supply by Peter Brannen – don’t worry, he’s not advocating burning every living thing at all, he’s simply saying “Don’t Panic!” just because the News is saying PANIC!!! but do care, and don’t just care briefly because you’re panicking after being told to PANIC!!! and care by the news.

“The Amazon is a vast, ineffable, vital, living wonder. It does not, however, supply the planet with 20 percent of its oxygen.

As the biochemist Nick Lane wrote in his 2003 book Oxygen, “Even the most foolhardy destruction of world forests could hardly dint our oxygen supply, though in other respects such short-sighted idiocy is an unspeakable tragedy.”

The Amazon produces about 6 percent of the oxygen currently being made by photosynthetic organisms alive on the planet today. But surprisingly, this is not where most of our oxygen comes from. In fact, from a broader Earth-system perspective, in which the biosphere not only creates but also consumes free oxygen, the Amazon’s contribution to our planet’s unusual abundance of the stuff is more or less zero. This is not a pedantic detail. Geology provides a strange picture of how the world works that helps illuminate just how bizarre and unprecedented the ongoing human experiment on the planet really is. Contrary to almost every popular account, Earth maintains an unusual surfeit of free oxygen—an incredibly reactive gas that does not want to be in the atmosphere—largely due not to living, breathing trees, but to the existence, underground, of fossil fuels.”

excerpt from The Amazon Is Not Earth’s Lungs by Peter Brannen

I wasn’t looking anything up when I ended up reading that article, I was just browsing…

similarly to when I was just watching my cat watching a squirrel burying treasure…

…seeing what would catch my attention and make me enjoy the activity of thinking for myself.

I wasn’t always allowed to think for myself.

I was regularly told what to think and what not to think.

How to think and how not to think.

What thoughts must never be thought…

I was regularly told what to care about and what not to care about (one of those “things” not to care about was me… I’m not a “thing” am I? Don’t think about that!).

I was regularly told to PANIC!!! and panic I did.

But why?

Also regularly… the things I was expected to panic about were not worth panicking about.

I grew up with narcissists and they panic (and expect others to panic because they’re panicking, so it must be super panic stations stuff!!!) about the silliest things… yet, they don’t care about what truly needs to be cared about and not just briefly due to panic.

Reminds me of the time I fainted in a busy restaurant.

I’ve told this story before on my blog because it’s one of those stories which became a point of personal reference for me about my relationship with my parents, and what was important to them and what wasn’t. And how I was going along with it… why?

I was about 14 yrs old at the time.

The restaurant was packed, hot… I actually passed out at the table before I fainted but no one noticed except for me. I excused myself and tried to go outside for fresh air, but didn’t make it.

I crash landed and hit the edge of a chair, chipping my tooth. The staff picked me up and hustled me quickly outside, plonking me down in a chair in the street.

By the time my mother noticed that I was missing… it had been a while. She didn’t actually notice anything… the staff finally figured out which table I belonged to and notified her of the situation.

She was annoyed with me for causing a scene – only she was allowed such a privilege, and for ruining her evening… oh, and for ruining my perfect teeth and smile. Yup that was the PANIC!!! stations part of the whole incident. My perfect teeth and smile had been ruined and it was my fault.

And no, she didn’t ask me if I was pregnant like some of the restaurant goers did because teeheehee…

And she didn’t ask me if I was okay like one member of the restaurant staff did when they brought me a glass of water.

Why would she… all that mattered to her was her, not me. I had ruined her evening and ruined my teeth which somehow were hers not mine.

If I accidentally broke a glass, my mother would go ballistic… and never once did she ask if I was okay? Had I cut myself? All that mattered was that one of her precious glasses had broken (and it didn’t matter if they were expensive or cheap glasses, they were her glasses).

Narcissists are strange, their priorities and what they value… it doesn’t matter to them if the Amazon burns as long as their ego is intact, their facade is pristine, their public image hasn’t suffered. They’ll pretend to care about it… if it makes them look good. But they don’t care about it because they’ve chipped their nail and… PANIC STATIONS EVERYONE NOW!!!

Last night while watching the first episode of the second season of an American TV show – Instinct – which is sort of psychological but also sort of very ridiculous (one victim got frozen in a cryogenic machine used for prologuing life and youth)… the main character stated that 6% of the population has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

That surprised me as up until that moment I thought the official figure was 1% of the population.

Professional people have been getting pissy with non-professional people like me discussing narcissists and blowing everything out of proportion. There aren’t as many narcissists as you stupid amateurs say they are!!! But maybe there are… maybe professionals have changed their stats after a bit of hmmm-ing… maybe the amateurs aren’t so stupid after all (doubt the professionals have thought or said that).

I haven’t been looking that kind of thing up lately. I do still read about narcissism, but it’s only if an article catches my eye while browsing.

By the way… I loved my chipped tooth during the time it was free to stayed chipped, I smiled more often, more genuinely during that time and was proud of my broken smile, before it was fixed by my mother arranging for a professional to make the aberration magically disappear.

When a dentist recently told me it was ugly and needed to be redone for me to have a perfect smile… I told him I’d think about his opinion and advice. It’s still “ugly”.

I don’t see my teeth when I smile, only others see it… but I do feel the quality of my smile. And frankly, it’s quite useful having a broken smile… those who have a problem with it and want me to fix it, fix myself, for them – Do I really want those sort of people in my life? Fixing me?

If you can’t see passed the superficial… and the superficial is super important to you, it’s best if you look elsewhere for whatever it is you’re looking for.

All of that ties in (in my psyche anyway) with the New Moon in Virgo which just so happens to be joining up with my natal Moon in the 12th house of hidden stuff…

I’ve read a few posts by different astrologers offering their perspective of the New Moon, of all the planets now traveling through Virgo and the ones aspecting it from other Earth signs…

These are the links plus some thoughts I had while reading their posts:

Welcome to the Movie Theater of Your Mind by Amanda Painter – this one struck me because I’d recently said something very similar to what she said and yet not quite in a comment on a post I read by a fellow WP blogger… about popular films they hadn’t seen… all of which I’ve seen.

I don’t think any film is a must-see, and if you haven’t seen it, then it doesn’t matter. But if a lot of people think it’s a must-see… it’s worth seeing just to see why others think it’s a must-see. It’s a way of understanding the collective consciousness and unconscious.

I watch and have watched a lot of films. It’s an activity I enjoy partly because of the thought journeys it inspires. I view films like they’re dreams – someone else’s dream which I can see, which we can all watch together and interpret… similarly or differently.

The other night I saw Lucky… awesome Indie film! A throwback slightly to old-style Westerns and yet not that at all. It’s all about getting old and just being yourself. Or at least that’s how I perceived it. It’s slightly surreal… David Lynch makes an appearance.

Virgo New Moon: What’s Right with You? by April Elliott Kent – A couple of things struck me in her post.

First up, I’d recently mentioned in my last post experiencing my very Leo mother as being super perfectionist nit-picky critical… April has a lot of Leo going on in her natal chart (she’s one of those rare astrologers who shares her own astro) and her mother had Virgo Moon and Venus in Pisces (both of which I have opposing each other and part of a challenging T-square with Neptune).

My mother loved telling me what was wrong with me… she expected me to fix it to please her.

I used to call her Mrs. Fix-It – she took it as a compliment, I didn’t see it that way but hey… whatever floats your boat.

She was as critical with others as she was with me, a saint and martyr trying to fix everyone else who was so imperfect, had so much wrong with them… once they were fixed her life would finally be what she wanted it to be, but others just wouldn’t do as they were told.

If you needed someone to point out what was wrong with you… she would do that, and expect you to be grateful forever, lucky you!

It was nice to read a totally different experience of a vaguely similar dynamic.

And I loved this from her post:

“I thought of Mom when a Virgo friend posted about honesty one day on Facebook. She wrote something like, “People think that being honest means criticizing people for everything that’s wrong about them. But I believe honesty also means that when someone is really wonderful, or has done something amazing, then I should tell them that.””

excerpt from Virgo New Moon: What’s Right with You? by April Elliott Kent

New Moon in Virgo, August 30, 2019 by Diane from Libra Seeking Balance – what I liked about this post about the New Moon was the simplicity of it, which Earth signs value greatly.

Whoever came up with that acronym – K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) – was probably very Earthy… although the blatantly calling others “Stupid” part… is a bit Fire-sign-y.

Earth signs may think something you’re doing or saying is “stupid” but may not say it out loud because it may be impractical to do so…

and they’re less likely to think you’re stupid, it’s just what you’re saying or doing which they think is stupid…

Earth signs know they can be stupid too but it doesn’t make all of you stupid, just that bit in that moment…

…and Earth is all about being practical, like a squirrel covering a prickly seed with a leaf to protect its mouth as it carried it to bury that treasure.

Oh, speaking of stupid and earth… this Earthy Cappy sun forgot that I used this as my post’s featured image:

It’s a pebble which kept eyeing me as I moved stuff from one place to another. I tried to ignore it, I even told it to stop looking at me, because…

Well, I have a habit of collecting random stuff found on the ground, important and valuable earth treasures – often it’s pebbles which look like other things to me or which simply “speak” to me.

I eventually gave up trying to ignore this one… isn’t it gorgeous!!!

If something hadn’t broken that pebble (it wasn’t me), and revealed what was hidden inside of it…

I did have another thought I wanted to share, but I’ll keep it hidden for now… until I hmmm… about it some more.

That’s it from me… over to you, your turn to share whatever you would like.

It’s okay if you prefer to stay hidden… it’s lovely to see you when you show yourself!


  1. * I loved your post today * 🎼🎶🐾🐦🙃🌻

    On Fri, Aug 30, 2019 at 9:53 AM An Upturned Soul wrote:

    > anupturnedsoul posted: ” I was just watching my cat watching a squirrel > burying treasure under the weeping willow. Shhh… don’t tell anyone you > know where the treasure is buried. Squirrels get squirrelly when they > realise you’re watching them. They’ll pretend to bury thei” >


  2. I love that pebble. I would have picked it up too. I have a bunch of rocks, shells, feathers and other misc stuff that caught my eye. I used to have it all out on a shelf next to candles, very pretty and altar-y. That was before Ben aka the Tazmanian Devil of destruction.

    There is so so much cool stuff all around us. We just have to open our senses up and experience it.
    Easier said than done, since opening up for cool stuff leaves openings for bad yucky too. Sometimes I retreat inside and experience cool stuff there. Shocking that I would retreat, I know😉

    I was looking at my birth chart again and was surprised at how many empty houses I have. I guess those areas are transitional go with the flow, or meh, pay attention to the other ones that *have* stuff. I’ll have to hmmmm it😉


    • The pebble says “Thank you, Angie” 😀

      I do a lot of retreating too. It’s a natural instinct to retreat, part of the cycle. You go out, open up, take stuff in, then close down, go within… process, assimilate, integrate, absorb what was experienced while out and open. Then you go out and open up again. Like flowers.

      Ha! I was contemplating Empty Houses after I posted my Moon mother/Saturn father post, it suddenly struck me that natal Saturn and natal Moon are on either side of a big empty space in my chart, and that empty space includes all the socialising houses, which is an area my parents dominated, which they were focused upon.

      Empty houses are a bit perplexing. Overall it tends to mean that the area it covers won’t be a focal point, but that doesn’t mean nothing happens in that area of your life.

      This is a great post about empty versus full houses by a brilliant astrologer – https://skywriter.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/full-houses-vs-empty-houses-in-your-chart-what-to-expect/

      She points out that Empty houses get visited by transits, and may be tenanted by progressions.

      The placement of the planets shapes the chart, and there’s a whole segment of astrology which looks into those shapes – https://www.astrotheme.com/files/planetary-patterns.php – this link is to a super cool site where you can explore the charts of well known people who have similar charts, aspects, placements etc.

      The best part of astrology is the Hmmm… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I read that first link when I was looking into empty houses. I have nothing in 3,4,5 or 6…11 is also empty😯
        The second link was cool. I can’t decide if my chart is more Bowl or Wedge…hmmmm…
        More learning and more thinking are needed. YAY! A project😉


        • Sounds like a cool project 😀

          Best book about the houses, imo because it helped me actually give a shit about houses in astrology 😉 is Howard Sasportas’ The Twelve Houses. He goes beyond the usual interpretations of houses, goes deeper, makes them interesting, tells some great stories about the journey within each slice of the Zodiac pie.

          If you get bored of regular astrology, Esoteric Astrology is fascinating. Alan Oken’s Soul-Centered Astrology is a good place to start. He has a website with articles and a monthly newsletter about transits. It can be a little confusing because of the Ray stuff, but that might just be me who got confused by the Rays when I first explored Eso-Astro. I tried getting into Alice Baliey’s Ray work and… gave up.

          I have 4, 9, 10, 11 empty unless I add Lilith (in my 10th) and asteroids (cluttering or do I mean clustering up my 4th). My chart’s a locomotive… toot toot 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          • Thanks for the recommendations. I likes esoteric stuff (shocking, I know)
            I did a different chart generation site and it shows more empty than the other. My 8 & 10 (which were combined with 7/8 & 9/10 on the other) are now also empty. I got Lillith in 3 though, so I gained (?) 1 and lost 2.
            I’ll probably run a couple more charts for comparison.

            Knowing where everything is would be a good start….hmmmm….or maybe knowing WHAT everything is would help deciding which where fits best….
            More hmmmm…..😀

            Liked by 1 person

        • Its such an expanding field of exploration, astrology.
          In my own studies i saw the North Node hitting certain points in someone’s chart played a major role too and the transits in your natal as well as in progression charts.
          In couples the composite with progressed composite.
          Its a lot to take in but it helps after an event to note the date/ time and see the charts. Its like CSI going back to the crime scene and collect evidence, with use of asteroïds.

          I had a horrible experience last year with my boyfriend (now the father to be of our child).
          I was so obsessed with astrology and i trusted it more then peoples word, i know why now.
          He lied to me last year, while the Transit North Node hit his Jupiter in leo, 4th house conjunct his asteroïd “lie” in 5th (leo). It squared his venus in scorpio 7th house.
          What i feared, i found out last May…
          He spend a night with his ex. He didnt want to tell me. If i didnt found out he wouldnt have admitted it.
          The trust i had for him flew out the window.
          I feel heartbroken and im in therapy now for this, told him its not fair, you did this and im the one needing to seek help.
          For months i struggled between despair, anger and hurt.
          The charts reveal so much.
          People lie, the charts don’t.
          In our progressed composite our moon in cancer 6th house is conjunct asteroid lie, i sensed it. I know theres still more but im a fool to believe that he will admitt it. He has his moon in the 12th house which can mean for a man, a secret relationship with a woman “can” be revealed. With his moon in aries inconjunct his venus in the 7th house. Inconjunct means often an obsession. His sun and north node is in trine with my chiron in the 7th house.
          So, it was meant to be to be hurt by him? Even with transit karma 3811 and chiron on my natal venus in aries 5th house. In progression it hits my ic nadir, yeah the hurt went through my whole body. Im still recovering from the shock.

          About narcissists, they usually have a strong sun sign, empowered with other planets.

          My natal pluto is in the 12th.
          My solar return said my natal pluto is in my first, i have it opposite natal asteroid narcissus, in my 7th house. A few narcissists are exposed to me.

          The other day i put on facebook the scan of my baby and told we are expecting. I dont have much with fb to be honest but i didnt want to tell so many individually.
          1 friend of mine and my sister, pfff were upset with me because i didnt tell them, they thought they were worth more to me then to find out that way.
          I made it clear it had nothing to do with them, its my decision anyway. I havent heard anything of them for months tho so how can they put themselves on a throne like that? My sister made it even sound worse, things are not going good with her but hey i dont care about that and i should have let her known. I had to laugh, soo its about her? She can’t be happy for me. She didnt even like the post but congratulated me in a spiteful way on whatsapp.
          Sorry my chiron in 7th… i cant have time anymore for people who keep hurting me, i used to believe i had to help them. My life is led by others to often.. i use to cry and felt easily hurt by others and the old me whould feel hurt by this because.. its my sister and friend right?
          I deserve happiness not to be attacked, thank you sun in the 7th house.
          Funny enough i had to read so much of my sisters life on fb, now that i did it since months… i guess she doesnt like the taste of her own medicine…

          *Pluto R 24 libra and jupiter R 4 scorpio in natal 12th house.


  3. Hi Ursula,

    Did you ever done a full chart of your mom?

    How do you experience your moon in the 12th?
    I read some different things about it, like its a fantasizing position.
    Keeping your real feelings hidden.
    Some speak of the mother beeing a hidden enemy.
    I have read a few articles of your mum critizing you but do you recognize it in you too?
    Iike my 2nd question, how do you experience yourself when your alone?
    Funny, you wrote you analyse your environment a virgo thing lol.

    My new boyfriend has an aries moon in the 12th but he is a virgo in the 6th.
    I heard a few life stories that relate to his 12th moon house. He’s 40, his mom never approved any girlfriend he had, untill he met me again last year and wanted to move his home country to live with me, she was supportive for the first time.
    When he was here within 2 months she changed, like very spiteful, almost to say jealous. Attacking him with her own brain spinsels that made no sense, sooo selfish.
    He was shocked to know her like this.
    He has moon inconjunct venus (8’55° scorpio) in the 7th house, mars (28° libra) in the 7th too.

    I found out he had a secret relationship too.
    He had sexual fantasy’s that he could not express in his relationships.
    I talk very open about it with him, which is healing to him.
    His moon is in my 5th house, his venus conjunct my ascendant.

    In progression his moon is in his 1st house.

    Where is your moon in progression?

    * How is it with uranus going to chiron in the 7th house?

    My best and love,


    • Hi Bonnie 🙂

      You love to explore other people’s charts, look to see how their chart shows up in their lives, and try to figure them out using their astro.

      I prefer to explore my own chart, see the connections between it and my life, and figure myself out.

      I have looked at my mother’s chart, but not recently. Her chart is her story, her life, hers to figure out, not mine.

      What we see in someone else’s chart is more often than not our own chart showing up in our life, but projected onto them and their chart, a reflection of ourselves which we think is them.

      We see other people through the filter of ourselves, we don’t see them as they see themselves. We see their life, their experiences, from the outside looking in and not as they do from the inside looking out. So everyone outside of us is how we experience them. Therefore everything I say about my mother is how I experienced her 🙂


      • Hi Ursula,

        Yes you can look at other charts to see how they relate to your one and… you can read charts objectivily.

        I study it for others too to see how it affects their lives. The more material you have, its easier to be more accurate.

        I did ask you personal questions tho, how you experience your moon (not persé your mom).

        But hey, thank you for responding.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. When you mentioned the squirrel, it reminds me of a place I once passed by, saw a squirrel stared at me and I stared back 🙂

    I chipped my tooth too. Can’t remember exactly, probably in my late twenties, I was too drunk and fell. I wasn’t bother about it or rather more unwilling to spend the money for repairing the tooth. However, my ex urged and even sponsored to have it done when I was in a can’t be bothered state. I do care about my looks and appearance but it’s not everything. I can live with the scar on my chin, on my chest and a broken tooth. It’s a puzzle to me sometimes what others value, yeah, I’m sure think the same of me too.

    I’ve prepared tea and dim sum in my garden, drop by and try some? 😉


    • Cool, Rev 🙂

      I got bitten by a squirrel once, but that was my fault. I was in a city park feeding the squirrels and this one climbed onto the bench, then onto me and started taking the nuts from my hand. It confused my fingertip for a nut 😀

      I’ll be over later for tea and dim sum… I have to go out first and mess with nature 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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