Let’s play connect the dots…
Are we using a pen between . . .
Or red string between drawing pins on a board or wall like in crazed detective who is tracking an elusive killer or cabal… he/she’s lost his/her badge… will to shave/have a bath/use deodorant/make the hole in the ozone bigger/dress in clean clothes/buy new clothes to replace the old ones hanging on by a thread? Who/what is hanging by a thread? Person/sanity/clothes/object/objective/person/thing?
Use whatever you want – do you know what you want? Is that what you really want or what you’ve convinced yourself you should want because other people said you should want this this is a must have want but do they really believe it or do they need you to believe it so it will be true finally you went first and now they can follow after having pushed you and they can make up their mind/decide/choose/get on the bandwagon but it’s your fault if it all goes wrong for them don’t blame them if it all goes wrong for you?
Is that too much for you?
That’s how my posts would look/sound like if I shortened them… too petit petty?
Let’s switch style…
I love words. But. Sometimes. I hate words. I ‘ate words.
It’s similar to – I love Robin. But. Sometimes. I hate Robin. I ‘ate Robin.
It’s a relationship.
Relate.on.ships – ships passing in the night. I’m a ship. You’re a ship. Are you a pirate ship? Am I a Spanish ship loaded up with gold I’ve stolen from a place in the world I’ve invaded killed all the locals? Are you going to board me? Am I going to sink you?
Relationship.com.con.nection. What’s the connection. How does it/do we con.nect?
I love astrology. But. Sometimes. I hate astrology.
In astrology. Last night was a Supermoon New Moon in Libra. Astrologers writing about it focused their attention on relationships because the sign of Libra and its home on the Zodiac wheel represent relationships.
If you go to an astrologer to ask a relationship question they will look at what’s going on in both your Libra house (7th house) and your Aries house (1st house).
Aries and its home on the Zodiac wheel represent the self, the me-me-me part of you.
The Aries/Libra axis is known as the relationship axis.
Of course. I’m over.simply.fying. It’s more com.plex than that.
A visual. To see the words as more than words. See me as more than words.
That’s me showing you me shown in astrology form.
The Supermoon New Moon took place in between my natal Uranus and natal Jupiter. In Libra. With natal Uranus in the house of Aries. Opposing North node in Aries in the house of Libra. Opposing natal Chiron. Transiting Chiron in Aries conjunct natal North Node.
The simplified version of that is – The relationship axis is busy in my natal chart. Aries/Libra is busy in my natal chart.
You’re not interested. It’s not about you. I’m interested. It’s about me.
Of course. I’m over.simply.fying. It’s more com.plex than that.
Off course. The ships are off course or maybe it’s just you, your ship. Perhaps being off course will take you to some place new. You will meet someone new. You will love them. But. Sometimes. You will hate them.
Saw a film last night. A meh film. Yet. A wow film when mixed with observations made with thought + eyes.
What was it called? Can’t recall. Make connections. Google Dexter. (That means left… or is it right?). Click on Michael C. Hall. IMDb… no need. Pic of film is there.
In the Shadow of the Moon. Ha! More dots. Connecting. I. Eye. Didn’t see that one until now.
Spoil.her A.lert: Time travel story. Starts at the end. World (American version of the world = USA is the only country in the world, everywhere else is by.the.by.bye.bye.) apocalypse. Girl travels back using the Supermoon to previous points. Dots. In time. Nine years apart. A part. In a film. To change the future. Her present. Gift. By changing the past. Passed. Killing people. Of course. That’s how humans solve problems humans create for humans. Let’s kill Hitler before he was Hitler. Since we’re doing this now. Let’s go further back and kill that person too. Losing the plot. Back forwards. Meets her grandfather. He kills her. In the beginning which is her end. The last point in time for her is his first point in time connecting with the. . . She goes backwards. He goes forwards. At first he is against her. At the end. His end. Her beginning. He is for her.
Made me think. Self. Fulfilling. Prophecy. Change your thoughts to change the outcome.
He has to change or else nothing will change.
He had to change his thoughts from against her to for her to change the outcome. Against her = apocalypse in the future for the World aka America (other countries in the world are irrelevant, why?). For her = happy ending world is fine but no one knows because the apocalypse didn’t happen, so they’re all complaining happily ever after about the state of the world and how much they’d like it to change.
If we keep writing/filming/thinking up stories about a future apocalypse.dystopia we will make it so.?. Just as all our fiction about future in the past came to pass. Star trek mobile phones.
Why am I writing a post like this?
To show you.
To show me.
To show me in mind/thinking form to you.
Do I think you’re interested in seeing that?
No. But. May.be. You. May. Be. I.
You may be me. I may be you. You may be like me. You maybe like me.
I. Never. Know.
Knowing your own mind. My mind has what is called – Dyslexia.
Some people. Those who don’t have Dyslexia. See/think of Dyslexia as a dis.ability.
They dis.my.ability. Dis – diss – disrespectful talk – disrespect my ability. Because they don’t have it.
I see it as an ability. I have it. I know it from the inside out.
They only see it from the outside.
To them it is wrong. Not the way to be. Foreign. Foreign film.
They don’t watch foreign films because they don’t understand the language. If it isn’t talking a language they can understand then they won’t listen to it.
They could learn the language. By watching the foreign film. They aren’t interested in learning a language other than their own. Everyone else must learn their language if they want to be heard/listened to/respected. But they don’t do that with people who do speak their language because every language has languages within it which disconnect those who speak it from each other and connect them up into tiny cliques against the other tiny cliques.
Subsets. Subtle differences. Subtitles.
They can’t be bothered to read the subtitles. Lots of reasons. Excuses. Justifications. Vacations. Vacant. Vacancy. An empty space which is to be filled. With reasons. Excuses. Subtitles.
I like reading subtitles. Sometimes I think I understand the language. But then I watch/hear it without subtitles. The sound is nice to my ears – oh. O. A word I understand. How exciting!
How silly to get excited because of one word. But that word can be the beginning of a journey to some place I have never been. Maybe I will meet someone there. I never know until I go.
They think I’m stupid. They think my mind doesn’t work properly. Proper like their mind which tells them that they are smart. Smartest person in the room. Syndrome. Syn. Sin. Sine qua non. Everyone should be like them (but then they wouldn’t be the smartest person in the room – uh oh they don’t like that at all).
I should be like them. They are right. Left. Which is which.
You won’t click on it. Why?
Lazy like me. Lazy. Like. Me. Like me. Sub.lim.in.al.
Not interested. It’s not about you. It’s not about me either. But I’m interested. Why? I like to understand. Under.stand. Un. One. Der. The. There. Stand. One there stands.
What are they doing while standing there? Are they waiting? For us? To approach them? For us to go to them – why don’t they come to us? Are we standing here which is there to them waiting for them to approach us?
Do we approach or walk away or do nothing except stand here-there. Ships which don’t even pass in the night.
Give you an excerpt:
“Dyslexia is typically framed through a medical-deficit model. Take the following definition: “Dyslexia is a specific learning disability that is neurobiological in origin. It is characterized by difficulties with accurate and/or fluent word recognition and by poor spelling and decoding abilities.” This is a fairly standard definition taken from a widely-cited article, and would be considered authoritative by many doctors and professionals.
On the one hand, this definition is accurate and empirically supported in so far as dyslexia has been associated with such difficulties. However, there is also reason to think that this definition is unduly negative. For in fact, dyslexia is associated with many benefits as well as limitations.
To date, the most rigorous synthesis of the positives of dyslexia can be found in the 2011 book The Dyslexic Advantage by Brock Eide and Fernette Eide. They weave together a wide range of research emphasise how dyslexia should be associated with “big picture” thinking. What they mean by this is that dyslexic people seem to be good at spotting connections and seeing the world holistically, which—while making certain tasks harder—in many ways give dyslexic individuals a competitive edge. Given this, they suggest dropping the medical-deficit model and instead propose seeing the challenges and advantages associated with dyslexia as “two sides of the same neurological coin.”
To be clear, in pointing all of this out, I am not denying that dyslexia is a disability. Dyslexic individuals are disabled, and it would be wrong to overlook or deny this. However, it is also the case that much of dyslexic disability can be accounted for in light of how attitudes and structures exclude those with this cognitive style. Moreover, it is important to bear in mind that unduly negative labels can increase stigma and negatively affect self-esteem.
So while it is vital to recognise the challenges associated with dyslexia, it is nonetheless equally important to recognise it as a natural and valuable aspect of human neurological diversity—one that needs to be supported, accommodated, and valued, rather than being taken as a medical flaw that we would be better off without.excerpt from The Positives of Dyslexia – A neurodiversity perspective. by Robert Chapman Ph.D.
This bit – “They weave together a wide range of research emphasise how dyslexia should be associated with “big picture” thinking.” – doesn’t make sense.
I have Dyslexia. I must have read it wrong. Must read it again. Again. Again. Until it makes sense.
Dot # 5
Okay, I’m taking a break from doing what I’ve been doing, it’s doing my head in – it wasn’t doing that before, I was enjoying it.
Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I hate it. Pay attention to when one tips into the other – notice the tipping point. Dot. This is where you can change the narrative course you’re on.
People who observe those with Dyslexia from the outside, may perceive dyslexics (or Dyslexians… Dyslexicans…?) as being slow. Slow-witted.
One of the reasons. Excuses. Justifications. I give for not telling people I have Dyslexia is that as soon as I do it confuses them, scrambles their thinking and they end up being stupid even though they are not stupid. That’s embarrassing for them.
They go from treating me as an equal (or close enough, everyone has a tendency to view themselves as being a little bit better than, even those with the personal narrative of worse-than – I’m slightly better than you because I know I’m worse-than you) to treating me like this – I… will… now… speak… LOUDER… and s…l…o…w…e…r, and over-explain every little thing to you, pointing out the obvious because it’s obviously not obvious to you since you have dyslexia.
Here’s the thing – those with dyslexia appear slow because our minds move super fast, it’s alarming sometimes how fast that shit is going even to us and we’re used to it, and we have to slow it down to read, write, communicate… and we end up speaking to others like they speak to us when we tell them we have Dyslexia – so we end up appearing and being perceived as slow-witted and stupid.
Those terrible jokes which non-dyslexics tell about dyslexia… are terrible because they lack any personal insight-understanding of the subject being humourised, and thus they’re badly constructed. It’s like me trying to build an igloo based on how they do it in a cartoon – that’s not a Youtube How-to video and even those are misleading, make it look easier than it is which you find out when you do it, once you’re out of the tube, bubble. pop.
The reason Dyslexicans muddle letters of a word is… similar to the autocorrect on your mobile and the “suggestions” function on your browser search bar.
We see the letters, and because our minds are moving super quick we auto-predict what the word is going to be and move on to the next word. We only stop, come to a grinding halt, crash into a fall-wall, face-plant, when we realise it’s not making sense. So then we have to back up and re-read again and again to find out where we went wrong with our prediction.
Our algorithm fucked up – data input is incorrect. Error. Err.or.
When something doesn’t make sense to us, we may get stuck on it for what feels like ages – so we may end up appearing to others as though we read very slowly, but in actual fact the problem is we read very quickly.
Which is why you won’t often hear me complain about an article or a post being “exceedingly” long…
If I find it too long, long-winded, tedious, boring me, I just move on, no need to read it, no need to tell them either. They’re not interested in knowing that unless they said they were then… If I really want to read it. I read it. I can cut through all the words to the chase. The point. Dot. Seed from which it expanded – them talking about themselves using words.
In my previous post I wrote about my evolving reaction/thoughts to a comment someone made on a previous post to my previous post.
What I wrote wasn’t about the person who made the comment or their comment – it wasn’t about them, it was all about me-me-me.
Their comment didn’t make sense to me, so I re-read it, again and again, trying to make sense of it.
My Dyslexia and how I work with it and it works with me, sometimes makes me rather pedantic – I get stuck and hung up on a word.
In that case it was “exceedingly”. Ex. X. Marks the spot. Dot.
As I did that, I started to think, question, make connections, connect dots – past, present, possible futures based on the narratives of past.present.
As I did that I went beyond the comment. I exceeded the comment. And that’s what the post was about.
Someone commented on that post and shared their reaction/thoughts to what I said in the post about the comment someone made and my reaction/thoughts to it.
I truly appreciate comments like that because they evolve things further – add more dots/data to connect.
They thought I had a problem with the person, that I was upset in some way by what had been said in the comment by that person – which wasn’t the case at all.
“I don’t have an issue with Rory or his comment, so there’s nothing to ask him about – this post was about me and my issues, and I was asking myself about them.
His comment was normal and ordinary, it’s the sort of thing people say to each other all the time in RL. You know, like replying to questions people haven’t asked you because your mind is nagging you about something you’ve told yourself that you should do but you haven’t done it yet, and you give them all this superfluous running commentary which is in your mind – I haven’t done XYZ yet because first I had to go to the toilet, and then I found I had spinach stuck in my teeth so I went to get floss but found I didn’t have any so I went to the shops and while I was there…
It stood out because to comment on someone’s post takes time and effort (or at least it does when I do it, it takes me longer to write a short comment than it does to write a long post, but that’s probably because I have to take time to figure out how to say what I want to say without sounding like a psycho… which is futile) – he could have used the time and effort it took to write a comment about not being able to read my post to read the post ;)”excerpt from my reply to the comment about my post about my reaction/thoughts to a comment on a post of mine about people reacting to their comments (all dots connecting).
And amongst other things, like good advice such as if you have a problem with someone and what they said go to them directly and ask them rather than taking the indirect route which is of course off course more complex than the simple way, they told me in case I didn’t know that the person had Asperger’s – I know they do.
They mention it often, of.ten, in their posts and on their blog.
Because of my Dyslexia I regularly have to re-read what people say about themselves in their posts (because people say some strange things about themselves… or I misread what they said), and their words sink in deeper, get filed in my long term memory.
If you want me to forget something you said – don’t write it down, let me read it. Don’t repeat it over and over in your posts, and comments on my blog. Once it’s in long term memory, good luck getting it out of its parking place.
I have read quite a bit about Asperger’s and Autism written by those who are Aspergians and those who are Autists – if you want to know about something, get the information from those who are on the inside, experience it, live it.
It’s also worth hearing what those who are on the outside have to say… even if they’re saying stupid shit all over the place (a reference to my previous post. Dot.). Why? Because people may be listening more to the “expert” who has no experiential understanding but they’ve got lots of letters after their name and other official stamps of approval (a reference to a scandal, not the American College Bribery one but the Cho Kuk one). The more more people embrace a narrative – the more likely it is for that narrative to become a reality, a self.fulfilling.prophecy. multiplied each time another self connects with it, relates to it, gets on that ship.
There are some similarities between my neurodiversity and theirs which I find interesting.
Link to the most recent one I’ve read (which I happened to have read a few hours before the person told me the other person had it and did I know. Dot.): My Life With Asperger’s: Are Aspergians Really Rude and Inconsiderate? – Aspergers, empathy, and relationships: It’s not always how it appears. by John Elder Robison
Here’s an excerpt:
“One common characteristic of people with Asperger’s is that we are more or less blind to the non verbal communications of others. As a result, we find ourselves forever saying and doing the wrong thing, with the best of intentions. We’re described as arrogant, aloof, uncaring and inconsiderate.
I contend that we are none of those things. I believe we are simply blind, emotionally.
We do not respond to other people’s observable cues because we don’t see them. Neurotypical people read the signals and respond; we don’t. But just as a visually blind person can understand a world he can’t see, I can understand and feel empathy and emotion even though I can’t automatically see the triggers.
For example, I’m quite sure I feel empathy for other people. If my wife were to be injured in a fall, I would immediately share her pain and distress. I would become distressed myself, and my top priority would be to relieve her discomfort. That’s what empathy is all about.
When it plays out in the real world, though, it’s easy for people to get a wrong impression. Imagine my wife and me, walking on the recreational trail. She trips on a stick and falls. I turn and look at her. There’s no sign of injury. None of her limbs seem twisted or broken. She did not yell loudly, and she’s not making any loud noises now.
“Are you damaged?” I ask because I know it’s possible to sustain damage that’s not visible from the outside. I’m not too worried, though, because I know most falls do not result in injury. I’ve seen this before.
“No, I don’t think so.” Her answer reassures me that there is no cause for alarm. I’m relieved.
“OK, then, get up and let’s go.” I give the only practical answer I can see. The day is passing, and we are standing still. Time to get moving again!
I have had third parties observe exchanges like that with a very critical eye. “I can’t believe you’re so callous,” they say. But if you read my thoughts, I wasn’t callous at all. I made a reasoned evaluation of the situation and acted appropriately.
The relief I felt when she said she wasn’t hurt was a genuine empathy reaction. And in that case, it’s all that was needed. There was no real injury or pain to share or mitigate.
If there had been injury, I was calm and logical and ready to act. Luckily, that wasn’t necessary.excerpt from My Life With Asperger’s: Are Aspergians Really Rude and Inconsiderate? – Aspergers, empathy, and relationships: It’s not always how it appears. by John Elder Robison
One of the similarities – our neurodiversities tend towards logical thinking… and the neurotypicals (not my word for it – I’m not sure there is such a thing as a “typical”, I think we’re all atypical or A.typical) aren’t logical to us, especially when they can’t see how logical we’re being and think we’re the illogical ones.
My mother used to have a mental/emotional meltdown if a drinking glass broke.
Was it an irreplaceable priceless antiquity? No. Was it a family heirloom? No. Was it expensive, hard to replace? No. It was an ordinary glass? Yes.
Did anyone die when it broke or is that why it broke – they died and were holding it as they fell stone dead onto the stone hard floor? No. Did someone get injured, fatally, badly, or just a little bit? No.
So… a regular glass broke and everyone’s fine? Yes.
Then why is she behaving as though there’s an apocalypse happening? Is it because there are tiny shards scattered on the floor and someone with bare feet, maybe a cat, might get a sliver of glass… or it’s a pain in the ass to clean it up, might get a cut while cleaning?
But still why the meltdown and why am I getting punished when I didn’t even do it? And when it was me, I get it she’s angry, but it was an accident I didn’t do on purpose – why would I do that on purpose… why is she behaving as though I killed someone, there’s blood all over the place, she’s got to clean it up, hide the body – stop killing people, child, it’s killing me!!!?
And why doesn’t she get upset like that when I’m hurt, visibly, bleeding? Don’t cry, never cry it bothers her. Don’t whine. Don’t express hurt at all. Put some Mercurochrome on it. It’s in the cupboard… how many times do you have to be told!
And why doesn’t she, and other people, get that upset when it’s something serious? Like climate change?
Greta Thunberg is a Capricorn Sun.
So am I.
She’s more of one than I am… ? …
She has Autism.
She’s very logical and the illogical world she sees around her, which deeply depressed her, is one she is trying to bring logic to… but the illogicals don’t want her logical because it’s messing up their system.
However if they can figure out how to use her… and one did to make a lot more money until she spotted what he was doing and refused to be part of that… any longer… he’d tricked her (look it up if you want to make sense of my words)… and slot her into their system, prop it up, keep it going, exceeding its present limitations, they don’t care about the future, they won’t be there, what they care about is the here and now and how much more they can accumulate even though they’ll be dead before they can spend it, use it all up.
Insert your dots here…
Insert your image from your connecting the dots here…
Share your visuals made of words here…