I’m Ursula.

That’s a nickname someone gave me because I reminded them of a bear, mostly because I can sleep anywhere, and when I am asleep I look like I’m hibernating… don’t try to wake me up even if it is for my own good or you’ll find out the other reasons why I received this nickname. But don’t worry, I don’t usually fall asleep on my blog.

(that’s me in the pic below… however my deviantart is no more)



Speaking of my blog… Welcome to my cyber home!

Here you will find the scribblings which erupt from me. I write in the style of my thinking – I’m a tangential thinker, which is apparently a disorder, luckily I’m not too keen on orders.

I talk this way too, when I can actually be bothered to talk. Translating my thoughts into verbal utterances is not always a good idea, at least that’s the impression I get from those who hear my words… then run away covering their ears, screaming… or maybe they’re singing.

I can be rather blunt. Sometimes I’m just odd (I am very weird and very crazy).

I’m an INTP… according to MBTI. I love exploring different ways of perceiving things, and people, and life.

You’ll find a mishmash of all sorts on here.

Conversations (often arguments) with myself, soul-searching, self-analysis, ghosts in the brain, astrology…

You can find my astrology chart here. I am a Capricorn Sun, but that’s not the part with which you need to be concerned (some people think all Capricorns are sociopaths), it’s Pluto and Uranus located in the 1st house which is far more disturbing. I call them Death Stares and Fruit Loops, which explains everything – you’ll either love me or hate me or both at the same time. The latter sums up how I feel about myself.


I am an ACoN – Adult Child of Narcissists. I’ve written about my experiences, some people relate to what I’ve expressed, others think that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

I often don’t know what I’m talking about either, confusion is a familiar destination for me. I have sexdaily, otherwise known as dyslexia. It affects more than just the ability to read and write, and causes those with it to develop some interesting skills (eg. I have to triple-check what I read and hear, and this can be useful for spotting lying liars who lie).

…rants, humour (at least I think it’s funny), musings, things which make me go hmmm, philosophy, dreams, memories, TV & Film, Video games, books, and a plethora of other things, sometimes fluffy, sometimes spiky, sometimes just odd (very weird and very crazy).

Oh, and I make a lot of mistakes… I’m a mistake-making mess of a human (yes, I’m fairly certain I’m human), and it’s fun!

This is a very self-indulgent blog. It changes from time to time… it flows with me. I flow back-to-front, upside down, topsy turvy, and any which way except the way that I’m supposed to go.

Thank you for visiting, and may your journey through life take you on many wonderful adventures!


  1. Dear fellow Bear: I’d seen you before here and there but never actually got to your blog until now. It is like walking either in from the cold or the heat into comfort reading you. Thank you!!!!!!! and thank you from my blog, too. I suppose an aspect of our Various Factory Settings is an acute sense of being alone in a moving fox hole full of broken glass…it is wonderful to dispel that illusion. Keep on…..


    • Thank you very much, Boozilla 😀

      That’s a wonderfully poetic way of expressing it!

      I enjoyed reading visiting your blog and reading you, lovely shifts from experience to experience, past/present, like a human kaleidoscope – beautiful!

      I’ve seen you around too, and like you I go with the flow and see where I end up 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Ursula, thanks for the blog. I stumbled upon it by Googling “tyrannical father devouring mother.” I’ve been looking online for a copy of Going mad to Stay Sane, per your recommendation. Do you remember where you got yours, is there any way you could share your copy with me? The excerpts sounded spot on and I’d love to read the whole book.

    Hope all is well 🙂


    • Hi Alex 🙂

      The author of Going Mad To Stay Sane, Andy White, has an active blog – http://andywhiteblog.com/ – and reprinted the book a couple of years ago – https://andywhiteblog.com/2016/06/11/going-mad-to-stay-sane-2/ – which according to that post has apparently sold out and there’s a new edition pending.

      You could perhaps email Andy, or comment on his blog, and see if he’s either got a spare copy or if he’s done an e-book version of it or would consider doing an e-book, or if he’d email you a full pdf version (might as well ask, you never know). He’s very approachable, I’ve chatted with him a bit via email and he’s commented on my blog a few times.


      • Thank you for your reply. It turns out there’s a single copy in the library system in my city 🙂 So i’ll try to hunt it down today or tomorrow. If that doesn’t work, I’ll e-mail andy. Thank you for the information and all the best!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Despite being listed as available at the library, it wasn’t there 😦 and hasn’t been seen since 2002 =( I left a message on Andy’s blog and hoping for the best. Thank you for the suggestion!


        • Sounds like either someone checked it out and never returned it or it got lost in the system. Hopefully Andy will get back to you and offer a solution 🙂

          In the meantime, if you’re looking for some clarity on parents and the stuff they do, pass on, etc, and you haven’t read any of her work, I also found Alice Miller to be insightful. The first book I read of hers was – The Drama of the Gifted Child. You can check her work out on this website – https://www.alice-miller.com/en/the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/

          Best wishes!


      • Hi beautiful. Mbti came across this blog. It saddens me to hear your pain in such a way that baby bear that I Kno so much about.. is my world and only want to make everything so much better for us. For you. If this is you.. LLS.. you mean the world to me. And I love your kinda of weird and everything lil think about U.. EVERY THING…I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Other then I wished U would try to feel our magic again . We have all the ingredients. Pls get back to me. It would be an honor to take you on a date and rekindle that magic… I have the drive for only U..eyes 4 only one dear one…. I can only dream about that dear lil face and that bear lil …. So miss her. My heart aches to no end every day and every night.. I would love a restart of the plans we had . Fishing.under the stars N 🌕 moon and getting to kno each other all over again and take it to a level of pure happiness calm respectful adoring N loving U 2pieces.. as soul mates do… Dear beautiful one… Baby Come Back… Sincerely your bfti… I hope N pray every day.. I will back U til the end of time


  3. Hi Ursula, I wasn’t able to find a contact form or anything else where I could send you a private message. I just read one of your blog posts and it resonated so well with me. I would love to get in touch with you some way – I hope that’s okay. Looking forward hearing from you. All the best, Sarah xx


    • Hi, Sarah 🙂

      Thank you for sharing!

      I’ve removed your ps. with your contact details (but have saved them) as this blog is open to the public and anyone can read the comments. At the moment I only communicate via comments on my blog, so there is no contact form or anything to find. I have been considering adding an email for people to contact me privately, but I’ve been considering that for a couple of years and haven’t done it yet, so I’ll probably keep dithering about it.

      If you’re open to and okay with chatting via comments, that’s great, we can comment-chat here on my About page or on the post you mentioned which resonated with you. Ask or share anything you want. Just keep in mind the comments are public.




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