An Empty Hammock

Why is that hammock empty? Why would anyone, once in it, ever get out of it again. Doesn't it look idyllic. Warm. Inviting. The sound of crystal clear waters lapping gently against the shoreline. There's even a boat just in case you want to go somewhere else, but you never do because you're exactly where... Continue Reading →

Two Narcissists in a Relationship? – a personal story

I was recently asked about how two narcissists ended up together. The two narcissists in question are my father and my mother... How did they hook up? What made them decide to turn that hooking up into a marriage? If one narcissist needs the world to revolve around him/her, how on earth could having two... Continue Reading →

The Most Savage Sentence

The title of this post comes from a sentence in one of my favourite Monty Python sketches - Court Scene [Multiple Murder]. . excerpt via Monty Python scripts (click on the link for the whole scene) or watch the video at the bottom of this post . I saw this sketch when I was in... Continue Reading →

When you’re not invited to your own party

For my 6th birthday, my mother decided to have a party. I know it was my sixth birthday because of the shape of the candle on the cake... it could have been a five... . . I can't recall if she had ever thrown a party for my birthday before then. She definitely threw parties... Continue Reading →

Leaps I’ve Taken in Life… and their consequences

Do you look before you leap or leap and look later? Chances are you do a bit of both depending on the situation and how much you want to do one or the other. At any given point we have a hundred tangents bearing down on our decisions, from our past, present, and all those... Continue Reading →

A Curious Mess

. How do you wake up in the morning? I sometimes awake in a state of panic. Usually it's a false alarm.  A bell ringing in my head which shocks my eyes open, kicks my body out of bed all the way to the front door to open it... and then abandons my still asleep... Continue Reading →

The Simple Charm of the Daisy

. “The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of it’s scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.” ― Thérèse de Lisieux . Do you like to keep things simple or... Continue Reading →

Out of Place

. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;... Continue Reading →

Alarmingly Calm…

Have you ever... Freaked yourself out because you were not freaking out? Worried because you were not worried? Had anxiety about not being anxious? For most of my life all of the above has not been too much of a problem because freaking out, worrying, and being anxious was my default setting, therefore the chances... Continue Reading →

For Your Viewing Pleasure… Perhaps

Poltergeist . What's your viewing pleasure? Do you like watching TV shows, films, documentaries, the news, youtube videos, etc? Playing video games? Going out to see a play, opera, or to a comedy club? Strolling around a museum, gallery, park? What thrills your eyes and stimulates your mind through your eyes? What soothes your soul,... Continue Reading →

The Private Pilot of this Ship

The private pilot of this ship. I have no idea from where the title of this post comes, nor what it means. I saw those words scribbled on a notepad beside my computer in my handwriting. They obviously meant something to the me who wrote them a few days ago. I know it was a... Continue Reading →

What is Beauty? What is Ugly?

What is beauty? They (you know, those they that say things) say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder... ... and when they say that we all tend to nod as though we know exactly what they mean, but what do they mean exactly? If I see something beautiful, is it really beautiful... Continue Reading →

Want Doesn’t Get…

What does want not get? What does Want lack in the way of understanding? Or am I misunderstanding what this - Want doesn't get - means? I heard this the other day while minding my own business, but it was said so loudly and emphatically that it made itself my business whether I wanted it... Continue Reading →

The Benefits and Risks of Turning 40

Before I launch into another long post where I talk all about myself, and verbally masturbate until I selfishly orgasm, I'd like to say... Thank you very much to the wonderful person who inspired this post, our conversations mean a lot to me... I'm not going to make you take the blogging stage, but if... Continue Reading →

A Summer Snow Storm of Wishes

When I was a child I was told that the seed of a thistle was a fairy, and if I captured it without harming it while it floated by, I could make a wish upon it. . . For the wish to come true I had to let the Thistle Fairy go, blowing it gently... Continue Reading →

A Tale of Two Legacies

. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope,... Continue Reading →

Don’t Worry, Be… Happy?

A warm and embracing thank you to Lynette d'Arty-Cross, for bravely and boldly doing the hokey-cokey-pokey with me and jumping into the challenge of asking me this question: . What is one of your best, happy memories from any time in the past? . In my posts I sometimes veer into lands of sadness, anger,... Continue Reading →

Thoughts on Being a Hermit…

Greeting and glad tidings to Jen, and a cornucopia of thank yous for taking the plunge into my challenge (go here if you want to know more about the challenge), for joining in the fun, and for asking this question: . "You’ve said somewhere recently that you’re a hermit. I’m curious if you feel that... Continue Reading →

What is the Meaning in Life… She Asked

.  “Life is a blank canvas, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” ― Danny Kaye . What is the meaning IN life? The IN rather than the OF? What does that mean? Do you know what it means? Do you know the meaning… IN or OF or both or... Continue Reading →

Stop Trying to Fix what is Broken…

It's difficult isn't it? Trying not to do something... especially once you've started doing it, whether physically or mentally. Many actions take place in the mind, more than in physical reality. It's easier to stop doing the physical stuff, than the mental stuff. If the mental stuff is directing the physical... once you start doing... Continue Reading →

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

. If you're my age or thereabouts... - which in trending terms would be the sort of person who wears flats to The Cannes Film Festival (I have no idea what the real story behind the snowballing media 'real story' version is, it's hard to believe anything these days, but this has stirred up so... Continue Reading →

Life on a Narcissistic Roller Coaster

When I was about 13 years old, my mother and I took a trip to New York City. The reason for the trip was so that my mother could check up on my father’s business partners in one of his latest ventures. He had a habit, according to my mother, of getting involved with dubious... Continue Reading →

Where is Abroad to a Broad like me?

Dortmunder Nashorn mit Weltkarten-Motiv (World Rhino) by Erich Ferdinand . . If you've got this far, please explain yourself. No, wait, let me explain myself to you, I'm sure that's what you and I would rather that we do. No? No..... Has he gone yet? Or was he a she? Has she gone yet? .... Continue Reading →

The Story of Snow Doll

I am living in headcoldia at the moment, blissfully dopey (more so than usual), and thought I would re-share an old post.

Enjoy (hopefully)!

An Upturned Soul


When I was a child my mother used to tell me Japanese folklore stories. Her favourite story was – O Tsuru no Ongaeshi – The Grateful Crane.

There are two versions of it, one with a young man and one with an old couple. I was told the latter version.

It is the tale of a crane who is rescued from a hunter’s trap and set free by an old man who is out collecting firewood in Winter. A while later on a snowy night a young woman turns up at the house of the old man and his wife. She claims to be lost and is welcomed into the home.

She ends up staying with the couple, being adopted as their daughter.

They are a poor couple and the young woman offers to help them earn more to thank them for their hospitality and generosity. She asks that they…

View original post 750 more words

The Ideal Lover

A post I wrote this time last year. In it I share a link to a wonderful post by a great blogger, some extracts of an interesting book on aspects of love (seduction), and a dream which I will never forget and which had a powerful impact on me (and my approach to love).

Enjoy (sorry, it’s a long one as usual)!

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

An Upturned Soul

A quick intro and then a story about a dream lover.


Do you remember the first time you dreamed about your ideal lover? Can you still picture him or her?

Is that first ideal lover the same as the one you dream about today?

Even if you’re warmly ensconced in a relationship with a lover, you may still have moments of wandering in the land of ideals, ideal you, ideal them, ideal love.

It’s a fun trip into the place where daydreams glow and grow. Ideals inspire us. And it is wonderful to feel inspired, the feeling lifts us up and transports us on a magic carpet ride.


This post is inspired (as in unashamedly ripping off his idea) by – Christopher Malone of The Infinite Abyss(es) – and his recent Valentine’s Day post – A Valentine, Red; A Kettle, Black: An Essay. It is a long read, but…

View original post 2,281 more words

The Rebel’s Role Model

Can you recall who your role models were when you were a child? The other day I idly asked myself this question, and before I could form an answer in a logical, methodical and wordy manner, my mind was flooded with a succession of images of all the characters, fictional or real, who inspired me... Continue Reading →

Useless Adventures…

. . There have been many moments in my life when, upon self-reflection, I have concluded that my life is useless. I am useless... Some of those times have been dark, where the thought of being useless has led me to the edge of an abyss with very little stopping me from throwing myself over... Continue Reading →

Christmas Mourning

. . ’Tis the season to be… reminded of the ghosts of Christmas past. This season has always been dark for me punctuated by garish coloured light, a Winter of discontent for the malcontent. The tree is a family one, the lights are tempers flaring, the baubles are grievances, the star, the angel, the crowning... Continue Reading →

It Follows Me like a Shadow

It follows me like a shadow… but what is it? Have you ever observed the shadows around you, watching them change with the shifting light over the course of a year? Have you listened to them with your eyes, heard their whispers like shivers breathing in your ears. Felt their touch on your skin, cold... Continue Reading →

The Artful Dodger… of Truth

She Liked her own Post! As I was perusing this week’s Weekly Writing challenge: Overheard, I saw something which made me do a double-take, not dissimilar to the ones which I do when I overhear something which makes me notice that I heard it in the first place. Robyn, the creator of this challenge and... Continue Reading →

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