Sometimes I Climb the Walls and Lie on the Ceiling
I was recently asked a question in a comment: "You mentioned in one of the steps about making sure they aren’t acting narcissistic versus being a narcissist. I searched on google, “what’s the difference between acting narcissistic versus being a narcissist or NPD.” No site made a separation between essentially stating you can’t act narcissistic... Continue Reading →
Q: Am I the Narcissist or is he/she? A: It's not as simple as that. Q: Why isn't it as simple as that? I want it to be that simple so that I can move on from the conflicts, confusion, cognitive dissonance, discomfort, that question is causing for me, and get on to the next... Continue Reading →
One of the most important things which you can do for yourself is to - Know Yourself. Self-knowledge is personal power. . . Getting to know yourself is a process which continuously happens over your entire lifetime. It starts off when you are born, simply, as you discover your own body, as you experience sensations,... Continue Reading →
What if I told you that you as you are, here, now, in this moment, are fine, perfect, far more than good enough... . . I know I don't know you, and you don't know me. I am not going to tell you to trust me - children of Narcissists have learned that the words... Continue Reading →
Imagine that you're digging a hole. You've been digging this hole for a long time. It's three feet deep, hard work, you're tired, and fed up with digging but you keep on digging. Suddenly a person appears at the edge of the hole. Standing above you, looking down on you, and they say: Stop digging... Continue Reading →
Feelings... O... woah... woah... feelings... Nothing more than feelings... Trying to forget my feelings... 11 - Feel numb or have difficulty knowing what you are feeling? Your parents minimized or ridiculed your feelings and desires. What are feelings? . . The excerpt above is what happens on the first page of results when you put... Continue Reading →
One of the strange gifts of children of Narcissists is the ability to blank themselves out. . . We do our best to be unobtrusive, not a bother, not there at all, invisible. We don't think about ourselves except in relation to the other person/people. If we're at a restaurant with a group of people,... Continue Reading →
So, Children of Narcissists, what have we learned thus far... what have we still to learn... what have we still to learn to unlearn... 7 - Feel inexplicably drawn to turmoil rather than harmony in your relationships? Your parents created drama, scapegoating and disharmony in your family. We know that Narcissist parents are toil and... Continue Reading →
me: Hi *smiling normal: Hello me: What am I supposed to say next? normal: What? me: Sorry, I was thinking and it happened out loud *grinning normal: Oh... me: What do you want from me? normal: What?!? me: Sorry, I meant, what a pleasure to see you, how are you today, you're looking good, what... Continue Reading →
I'm going to dive right in, pick up where I left off yesterday, so if you want an intro, are new to this series within a series, can't remember what happened yesterday, go here - What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? Am I being too bossy? Abrupt? Rude? I didn't say please,... Continue Reading →
What is the positive side of being a child of Narcissists? There's got to be one, right? It can't all be negative, can it? . . These days with the advent of more awareness about Narcissists, and the fact that Narcissists breed, have children... more and more is being written about - What happens to... Continue Reading →
This post is part-astrology and part-not-astrology, it's part-about-Narcissists and part-not-about-Narcissists, but it is all about me... or is it? Have you ever considered the conundrum of - What's your individual role in the community, in humanity, in the evolution of the human species? Have you recently participated in #MeToo, or have you wanted to but... Continue Reading →
This morning I read an article on the BBC news website which is part of the 100 Women project - The 'Right Amount' of Panic for Women in Public. It starts with the question - Have you ever wondered how much time and energy women spend avoiding harassment from men? - and then plunges into... Continue Reading →
"I hate myself..." - this is something I said to myself a few minutes ago while reviewing an interaction I had with someone else. This is something I say to myself a lot, and have said to myself throughout my life. Why? Why do I say this to myself? Where did it come from? Do... Continue Reading →
The other day I was contacted through a comment on the About page of this blog by a psychology student who is doing an Extended project for University on Narcissists/Psychopaths and their children. They asked me if I, a child of Narcissists, would be willing to participate in their project by answering a questionnaire. I... Continue Reading →
Arguments were a big part of my family of origin. Growing up the air I breathed was electric and heavy with human storms brewing, breaking, and never truly subsiding because no one ever won, nothing was ever resolved, and thus everyone was left frustrated. Disappointment seeking satisfaction is a hungry beast devouring all ahead, leaving... Continue Reading →
Like with most of my posts I'm going to jump around from subject to subject, go off on tangents, ramble seemingly randomly, babble about myself, and so on... if you haven't got the time or patience to sift through all of that to find what you're looking for, need or want from my word share,... Continue Reading →
Do you know a narcissist? Not necessarily a super-charged, malignant, Bond-villain type of Narcissist... who is in all probability a sociopath/psychopath with narcissistic tendencies rather than a simple narcissist ('simple' in comparison to a sociopath/psychopath). . If you'd like to observe from a safe distance a superb rendition of a malignant narcissist, then check out... Continue Reading →
What's your 'resting face'? Sometimes you'll hear someone say that they have 'resting bitch face'... . . which basically means others assume they are a bitch (which despite empowerment movements is still a pejorative) even though they don't know them... because when they're in resting mode, taking a break from being self-conscious, and a mirror... Continue Reading →
Recently on several different news sites there were articles about an open debate which had broken out between psychologists about whether they could professionally weigh in on President Trump's mental status. This is an excerpt from one of those: . via The Guardian online . Both sides of the debate have valid arguments... so I... Continue Reading →
If you have a Narcissist in your life and you ask for advice on how to deal with them the most common answer you will get is - Go No Contact - in other words get away from them, run and keep running and never look back, cut them out of your life, get rid... Continue Reading →
Can being with a Narcissist turn you into a Narcissist? This question is one I found in the search term stats of my blog along with other queries about Narcissists, such as - Why are children of Narcissists afraid of becoming Narcissists (because they don't want to do to others what was done to them,... Continue Reading →
When it comes to the question of - How do you identify a Narcissist - before you get too involved with them, invest too much of yourself in them and your relationship with them, before you get into a relationship and figure it out the hard way later on, my go-to answer is - pay... Continue Reading →
Every year it seems to get harder and more complex to wish people well at this time of year. What is the politically correct term to use that will not offend, upset, deeply hurt one person or an entire social group (or an entire social group through one person), cause a debate about some issue... Continue Reading →
I just read a very interesting post - Facebook's Whores of Deception - about the problems encountered when joining a Support Group for Victims of Narcissists. The main problem being that the Support Group could be the vanity project (and source of narcissistic supply) of a Narcissist. If you think that a Narcissist couldn't possibly... Continue Reading →
Alice Miller's work is a must read for anyone interested in child psychology, their child's or their own inner child's psychology, and how parenting affects the child, or how your parenting reflects your own childhood, and many variations on that theme. Her book - The Drama of the Gifted Child - is excellent and is... Continue Reading →
Apparently you can determine whether you're a Narcissist or not simply by taking this test - Narcissistic Personality Inventory. Of course it's not really designed to determine whether or not you're a Narcissist, what it's actually for is to assess your personal narcissism, and this is pointed out in the intro (see below). . .... Continue Reading →
Thank you to lansealan for suggesting the idea of writing a post about going out to eat with a narcissist. . So, where to begin... perhaps first I should mention that most of my experiences of going out to eat with a narcissist involve one or both of my parents. I apologise to any narcissist... Continue Reading →
If you're human... and not some alien from another planet who ended up on Earth and is stuck here (through no fault of your own, of course), because your own people have abandoned you (you volunteered for this mission and they warned you that if it goes wrong they're just going to pretend they don't... Continue Reading →
If you were to ask me what the worst thing I have ever done to a narcissist has been... I'd have to take a long pause to think about it while I sort through all the imaginary worst things which the narcissists in my life think I've done to them (and spent hours on end... Continue Reading →
