The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists – page three

So in the previous post -  The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists - page two  -  I stated that: " three ... will be my attempt at a partial recap of a Kdrama which I partially watched and then bailed on because… the Narcissists, the Narcissists… took over the show..." I'm rather in awe of... Continue Reading →

The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists – page two

In the previous post - The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists - page one - I mentioned that: "...As a teenager I watched a couple of US Soap Operas and made the comparison between them and life with my parents. I once pointed that out to my mother, and after that she would gleefully announce... Continue Reading →

The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists – page one

The other day in a post I said the following: "...although I am beginning to think that I may have been Korean in a previous life due to how comfortable I feel with what I’ve gleaned of the culture from my recent obsession with Kdrama..." I didn't think much about my words when I wrote... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lessons 1 to 8

[Please note: This is a repost of a series in its entirety (so this is a loooong post) published in January 2014. Number 7 seems to be missing - I may have just jumped from 6 to 8 without checking where I was numerically, or maybe I did check and still missed #7. I can't... Continue Reading →

Repeat Performance – thoughts on relationships with Narcissists and the recovery process

Last night I watched an old film - Repeat Performance (1947) - which triggered an old wound, releasing some new insights into myself and my story for me personally. . . The synopsis of the film on IMDb is as follows: "On New Year's Eve 1946, Sheila Page kills her husband Barney. She wishes that... Continue Reading →

Narcissistic Behaviour versus Being a Narcissist/Having Narcissistic Personality Disorder

I was recently asked a question in a comment: "You mentioned in one of the steps about making sure they aren’t acting narcissistic versus being a narcissist. I searched on google, “what’s the difference between acting narcissistic versus being a narcissist or NPD.” No site made a separation between essentially stating you can’t act narcissistic... Continue Reading →

Strange Gifts – Am I the Narcissist or is He/She?

Q: Am I the Narcissist or is he/she? A: It's not as simple as that. Q: Why isn't it as simple as that? I want it to be that simple so that I can move on from the conflicts, confusion, cognitive dissonance, discomfort, that question is causing for me, and get on to the next... Continue Reading →

The Red Flags I Use To Recognise A Narcissist

One of the most important things which you can do for yourself is to - Know Yourself. Self-knowledge is personal power. . . Getting to know yourself is a process which continuously happens over your entire lifetime. It starts off when you are born, simply, as you discover your own body, as you experience sensations,... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – series recap

What if I told you that you as you are, here, now, in this moment, are fine, perfect, far more than good enough... . . I know I don't know you, and you don't know me. I am not going to tell you to trust me - children of Narcissists have learned that the words... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 7

Imagine that you're digging a hole. You've been digging this hole for a long time. It's three feet deep, hard work, you're tired, and fed up with digging but you keep on digging. Suddenly a person appears at the edge of the hole. Standing above you, looking down on you, and they say: Stop digging... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 6

Feelings... O... woah... woah... feelings... Nothing more than feelings... Trying to forget my feelings... 11 - Feel numb or have difficulty knowing what you are feeling? Your parents minimized or ridiculed your feelings and desires. What are feelings? . . The excerpt above is what happens on the first page of results when you put... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 5

One of the strange gifts of children of Narcissists is the ability to blank themselves out. . . We do our best to be unobtrusive, not a bother, not there at all, invisible. We don't think about ourselves except in relation to the other person/people. If we're at a restaurant with a group of people,... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 4

So, Children of Narcissists, what have we learned thus far... what have we still to learn... what have we still to learn to unlearn... 7 - Feel inexplicably drawn to turmoil rather than harmony in your relationships? Your parents created drama, scapegoating and disharmony in your family. We know that Narcissist parents are toil and... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 3

me: Hi *smiling normal: Hello me: What am I supposed to say next? normal: What? me: Sorry, I was thinking and it happened out loud *grinning normal: Oh... me: What do you want from me? normal: What?!? me: Sorry, I meant, what a pleasure to see you, how are you today, you're looking good, what... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – continued

I'm going to dive right in, pick up where I left off yesterday, so if you want an intro, are new to this series within a series, can't remember what happened yesterday, go here - What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? Am I being too bossy? Abrupt? Rude? I didn't say please,... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists?

What is the positive side of being a child of Narcissists? There's got to be one, right? It can't all be negative, can it? . . These days with the advent of more awareness about Narcissists, and the fact that Narcissists breed, have children... more and more is being written about - What happens to... Continue Reading →

Jupiter in Scorpio – When the Dirty Little Secret Comes Out of Hiding

This post is part-astrology and part-not-astrology, it's part-about-Narcissists and part-not-about-Narcissists, but it is all about me... or is it? Have you ever considered the conundrum of - What's your individual role in the community, in humanity, in the evolution of the human species? Have you recently participated in #MeToo, or have you wanted to but... Continue Reading →

How Do Children of Narcissists Stop Feeling Guilty for Doing What is Right for Themselves

This morning I read an article on the BBC news website which is part of the 100 Women project - The 'Right Amount' of Panic for Women in Public. It starts with the question -  Have you ever wondered how much time and energy women spend avoiding harassment from men? - and then plunges into... Continue Reading →

How Does a Child of Narcissists Break the Cycle of Attracting and Being Attracted to Narcissists?

"I hate myself..." - this is something I said to myself a few minutes ago while reviewing an interaction I had with someone else. This is something I say to myself a lot, and have said to myself throughout my life. Why? Why do I say this to myself? Where did it come from? Do... Continue Reading →

What is Your Experience of Being the Child of Narcissists?

The other day I was contacted through a comment on the About page of this blog by a psychology student who is doing an Extended project for University on Narcissists/Psychopaths and their children. They asked me if I, a child of Narcissists, would be willing to participate in their project by answering a questionnaire. I... Continue Reading →

Unresolved Arguments

Arguments were a big part of my family of origin. Growing up the air I breathed was electric and heavy with human storms brewing, breaking, and never truly subsiding because no one ever won, nothing was ever resolved, and thus everyone was left frustrated. Disappointment seeking satisfaction is a hungry beast devouring all ahead, leaving... Continue Reading →

My Past Life as a Narcissist

Like with most of my posts I'm going to jump around from subject to subject, go off on tangents, ramble seemingly randomly, babble about myself, and so on... if you haven't got the time or patience to sift through all of that to find what you're looking for, need or want from my word share,... Continue Reading →

In The Company of Disorder

Do you know a narcissist? Not necessarily a super-charged, malignant, Bond-villain type of Narcissist... who is in all probability a sociopath/psychopath with narcissistic tendencies rather than a simple narcissist ('simple' in comparison to a sociopath/psychopath). . If you'd like to observe from a safe distance a superb rendition of a malignant narcissist, then check out... Continue Reading →

The New Face of Children of Narcissists

What's your 'resting face'? Sometimes you'll hear someone say that they have 'resting bitch face'... . . which basically means others assume they are a bitch (which despite empowerment movements is still a pejorative) even though they don't know them... because when they're in resting mode, taking a break from being self-conscious, and a mirror... Continue Reading →

Narcissists in the News

Recently on several different news sites there were articles about an open debate which had broken out between psychologists about whether they could professionally weigh in on President Trump's mental status. This is an excerpt from one of those: . via The Guardian online . Both sides of the debate have valid arguments... so I... Continue Reading →

How To Deal With A Narcissist When You Can’t Go No Contact

If you have a Narcissist in your life and you ask for advice on how to deal with them the most common answer you will get is - Go No Contact - in other words get away from them, run and keep running and never look back, cut them out of your life, get rid... Continue Reading →

Can being with a Narcissist turn you into a Narcissist?

Can being with a Narcissist turn you into a Narcissist? This question is one I found in the search term stats of my blog along with other queries about Narcissists, such as - Why are children of Narcissists afraid of becoming Narcissists (because they don't want to do to others what was done to them,... Continue Reading →

That Moment when a Narcissist goes from being Interesting to being Boring

When it comes to the question of - How do you identify a Narcissist - before you get too involved with them, invest too much of yourself in them and your relationship with them, before you get into a relationship and figure it out the hard way later on, my go-to answer is - pay... Continue Reading →

The Big Nope: Narcissists during Christmas and New Year

Every year it seems to get harder and more complex to wish people well at this time of year. What is the politically correct term to use that will not offend, upset, deeply hurt one person or an entire social group (or an entire social group through one person), cause a debate about some issue... Continue Reading →

The Problems Encountered with Covert Narcissists

I just read a very interesting post - Facebook's Whores of Deception - about the problems encountered when joining a Support Group for Victims of Narcissists. The main problem being that the Support Group could be the vanity project (and source of narcissistic supply) of a Narcissist. If you think that a Narcissist couldn't possibly... Continue Reading →

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