Strange Gifts – Selfishness

Dear Me, There's a question which people sometimes ask: If you could tell your younger self something, write and send them a letter, a message to the past from the future, what would you say to yourself? This is often used as a writing prompt, or a method of self healing... . excerpt from: The... Continue Reading →


Strange Gifts – Taking Things Personally

Don't take this personally... Why not? I'm a person aren't I? How else am I supposed to take it? . . Don't take this personally... Okay. but you are... Wait a minute, you're going to tell me something about myself and I'm not supposed to take it personally? . . I was going to give... Continue Reading →


I was just checking up on the news, and spotted an article about #MeAt14: Raising awareness around the age of consent I don't have any photos of me at 14. I got rid of all photographs of myself during a phase I was going through when I was in my early 20's. Occasionally I regret... Continue Reading →

The Red Flags I Use To Recognise A Narcissist

One of the most important things which you can do for yourself is to - Know Yourself. Self-knowledge is personal power. . . Getting to know yourself is a process which continuously happens over your entire lifetime. It starts off when you are born, simply, as you discover your own body, as you experience sensations,... Continue Reading →

Strange Gifts – Being a Misfit

Hello and welcome to Misfit Club! Before you can pass through the hallowed gates behind me... Yes, they're gates. Yes, I know they don't look like gates. Yes, they're made of driftwood and bent cutlery carefully tied together with bits of frayed string, old shoelaces. No, we didn't have any rusty nails or threadless screws... Continue Reading →

Strange Gifts – Making Mistakes

My posts are full of mistakes. I'm not just talking about typos, grammatical errors, and writing faux pas. I'm not just talking about social media shouldn'ts, errors in blogging etiquette, and online community cock-ups. I'm not just talking about getting my facts in a twist, misinformation, contradiction, memory blips, blind spots, and being batshit. I'm... Continue Reading →

Does Capricorn Hate Nagging?

Put your hands up... No, this isn't a stick up... and no, you're not being arrested... for being a Capricorn capricorns and people (anything in bold in this particular post is a search term which popped up in my blog's stats over the last 7 days) apparently Capricorns aren't people, and may be stopped, frisked,... Continue Reading →

Strange Gifts – Anxiety

TRIGGER WARNING - Whenever I see that warning, it makes me tense up, although usually the things discussed within posts with that warning don't tend to trigger me, and that's not because they warned me and I tensed up, preparing myself for the worst, relieved that it wasn't as bad as the worst that I... Continue Reading →

Strange Gifts – Self-Doubt

doubt: Are you sure? me: What do you mean by "Are you sure?" Do you mean am I, as a being, sure = a safe, stable, both feet firmly planted on the ground person or Do you mean am I sure, certain, about something... perhaps something I have just said to you? doubt: I'm not... Continue Reading →

Strange Gifts – Shyness

For as long as I can remember, I have been shy. I was fine with my shyness, and being shy, at first because of what it meant to and for me. It wasn't shyness . . I wasn't shy . . - those words and their definitions came later, given to me by others, by... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – series recap

What if I told you that you as you are, here, now, in this moment, are fine, perfect, far more than good enough... . . I know I don't know you, and you don't know me. I am not going to tell you to trust me - children of Narcissists have learned that the words... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 7

Imagine that you're digging a hole. You've been digging this hole for a long time. It's three feet deep, hard work, you're tired, and fed up with digging but you keep on digging. Suddenly a person appears at the edge of the hole. Standing above you, looking down on you, and they say: Stop digging... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 6

Feelings... O... woah... woah... feelings... Nothing more than feelings... Trying to forget my feelings... 11 - Feel numb or have difficulty knowing what you are feeling? Your parents minimized or ridiculed your feelings and desires. What are feelings? . . The excerpt above is what happens on the first page of results when you put... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 5

One of the strange gifts of children of Narcissists is the ability to blank themselves out. . . We do our best to be unobtrusive, not a bother, not there at all, invisible. We don't think about ourselves except in relation to the other person/people. If we're at a restaurant with a group of people,... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 4

So, Children of Narcissists, what have we learned thus far... what have we still to learn... what have we still to learn to unlearn... 7 - Feel inexplicably drawn to turmoil rather than harmony in your relationships? Your parents created drama, scapegoating and disharmony in your family. We know that Narcissist parents are toil and... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – part 3

me: Hi *smiling normal: Hello me: What am I supposed to say next? normal: What? me: Sorry, I was thinking and it happened out loud *grinning normal: Oh... me: What do you want from me? normal: What?!? me: Sorry, I meant, what a pleasure to see you, how are you today, you're looking good, what... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? – continued

I'm going to dive right in, pick up where I left off yesterday, so if you want an intro, are new to this series within a series, can't remember what happened yesterday, go here - What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists? Am I being too bossy? Abrupt? Rude? I didn't say please,... Continue Reading →

What Are The Strange Gifts of Children of Narcissists?

What is the positive side of being a child of Narcissists? There's got to be one, right? It can't all be negative, can it? . . These days with the advent of more awareness about Narcissists, and the fact that Narcissists breed, have children... more and more is being written about - What happens to... Continue Reading →

Jupiter in Scorpio – When the Dirty Little Secret Comes Out of Hiding

This post is part-astrology and part-not-astrology, it's part-about-Narcissists and part-not-about-Narcissists, but it is all about me... or is it? Have you ever considered the conundrum of - What's your individual role in the community, in humanity, in the evolution of the human species? Have you recently participated in #MeToo, or have you wanted to but... Continue Reading →

How Do Children of Narcissists Stop Feeling Guilty for Doing What is Right for Themselves

This morning I read an article on the BBC news website which is part of the 100 Women project - The 'Right Amount' of Panic for Women in Public. It starts with the question -  Have you ever wondered how much time and energy women spend avoiding harassment from men? - and then plunges into... Continue Reading →

How Does a Child of Narcissists Break the Cycle of Attracting and Being Attracted to Narcissists?

"I hate myself..." - this is something I said to myself a few minutes ago while reviewing an interaction I had with someone else. This is something I say to myself a lot, and have said to myself throughout my life. Why? Why do I say this to myself? Where did it come from? Do... Continue Reading →

What is Your Experience of Being the Child of Narcissists?

The other day I was contacted through a comment on the About page of this blog by a psychology student who is doing an Extended project for University on Narcissists/Psychopaths and their children. They asked me if I, a child of Narcissists, would be willing to participate in their project by answering a questionnaire. I... Continue Reading →

Pluto Direct(ly) and Indirectly

Is this a post about astrology? - you ask no one in particular and the air inside your head in general, groaning a little or perhaps kind of excited about the prospect... which is it? Do you know? I'm not sure if this is an astrology post - I answer into the void (you left... Continue Reading →

Don’t you sometimes feel as though you are starring in your own Myth?

The title of this post comes from a question which herongrace asked during a comment chat on one of my recent posts - The Human Maze - I'm linking to the post just in case you want to eavesdrop on the whole conversation. "Don’t you sometimes feel as though you are starring in your own... Continue Reading →

Sweet Dreams are Made of Marilyn Manson

Do you ever have dreams which you can't explain to yourself... ones which don't seem to have any connection to anything you were thinking about or feeling before you fell asleep, which don't appear to connect to what you experienced, witnessed, noticed, saw, what had an impact upon you, your conscious or subconscious, during the... Continue Reading →

The Human Maze

Have you ever done one of these... . I chose to use this particular maze image because the end and the beginning are on the same side... and you've got to wonder why you would bother doing the maze at all since you're where you need to get already - life is sometimes exactly like... Continue Reading →

The System which Works for You

One of the activities I engaged in most often as a child, which carried on through my teens into adulthood, and still occupies my time, is that of - trying to figure out what others would do in my position. The thinking behind this action was that others did everything the right way and I... Continue Reading →

How To Hurt…

If there's one thing all humans seem to share in spite of all our differences, it's the ability to hurt. And it's most likely one of the first lessons we learn about life in physical form... it hurts... there's probably a sign over the door through which we have to pass to be born which... Continue Reading →

Dear Friend… Thank You for Kindly Understanding

Was it wrong of me to be pleased with that... to be momentarily caught up in a shy inner smile of self-pride because someone had appreciated a quirk of mine which often gets mistaken for something else... Do I need to be reminded that... chances are my quirk was not being appreciated at all (unless... Continue Reading →

Your Own Personal Personality Test

Have you ever taken a personality test? If yes... did you enjoy taking the test, was it fun or a chore, did you have to adapt your actual personality to suit the personality of the test itself, did you have to give answers which weren't the ones you wanted to give because there wasn't an... Continue Reading →

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