Image by V. Jarski from - Surviving the Narcissistic Parent via The Invisible Scar - please read this article if you think you're a child of a narcissist/narcissists. . . If you missed the Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs) survey and study which Valerie Coles, Ph.D. and Dr. Jennifer Monahan of The University of Georgia’s... Continue Reading →
A great post about growing up and living with narcissists from an excellent blog and blogger!
Narcissistic abuse can be in your face obvious, but more often than not it is so subtle that it is barely there, and yet it is always there 24/365. Drip, drip, drip, wearing away even the toughest of substances.
From the outside, you are lucky to be a part of such a family. And you help to maintain this myth until you believe it too…
On the inside you are slowly being worn away… until all that is left of you is a big Cheshire Cat grin, still pretending.
This is a beautifully evocative insight into life with narcissists, and also a view of how to slowly emerge from it. It takes time, a gentle rebuilding after years of degradation which seemed normal and took a while to realise it wasn’t.
Thank you for sharing!
Once while swimming laps several years ago, I was struck by this thought: That if I were to be happy, I’d be betraying my mother and sister. So long had I drunk the Koolaid that I thought this.
My sister’s narcissism was more overt, actually saying things like, “If you really cared about me, you’d know exactly what type of gift to buy me.” Or, “You’re not a loyal enough family member,” without actually defining what loyal meant.
For much of my life, I’d focused my anger onto my sister because her behavior was more obvious. She produced feelings in me of despair, fear, anger and guilt.
My mother’s scourge was so much more subtle and therefore insidious. I would even feel inclined to apologize to my sister for blocking her out as much as I did, except that I finally realized how much in collusion they were. I fear her…
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Are you a self-identified ACoN - Adult Child of a Narcissist? . . If you are please consider taking this survey - Parental Communication Measure Study . . The survey is being conducted by Valerie Coles, Ph.D. and Dr. Jennifer Monahan of the University of Georgia’s Department of Communication Studies. It is open to all Adult Children... Continue Reading →
. PLEASE NOTE - This survey has been re-opened and is available throughout the month of June 2015 for those wanting to participate in it. You can find it here - Parental Communication Measurement Study . What do you tell other people about your childhood? Do you edit it, rewrite it, make it sound normal... Continue Reading →
A superb account of what it is like to be the child of a narcissistic mother, which also applies to a narcissistic father.
We need to inform ourselves – whether we are ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists), their partners, spouses, friends or otherwise, or whether we are in a relationship with a narcissist, have children with them, or are affected by them in any other way.
The more we understand them and how they affect us, the more we can understand how to heal, undo what they have done, find a way to be free from their programming, training, influence and control.
By finding out what is ‘wrong’ we can find out what is ‘right’, with us, with others.
By sharing we help ourselves and we help others help themselves too.
Thank you for sharing.
April is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. At The Invisible Scar, we are focusing on emotional child abuse, such as the various types, how to help emotionally abused children, resources for healing, adult survivors of emotional child abuse, and the special case of narcissism.
Adult children of narcissistic parents (ACoNs) know a special type of emotional abuse in being raised by narcissists. (Biological mothers, stepmothers, biological fathers, and stepfathers can be N parents.)
Before we discuss the special case of narcissism, please note that not every emotionally abusive parent has the narcissistic personality disorder. In some circumstances, an emotionally abusive parent who is not a narcissist can change and improve his or her parenting. The same is not true for the narcissistic parent, however. Every narcissistic parent is an emotional abuser.
A narcissist is a person who has the narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one…
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