SYW: Chi Mi Ama, Mi Segua

Loosely translated it means - those who love me, follow me. It's something my father used to say, usually just after I'd told him that I wasn't going to do whatever it was that he wanted me to do. He loved to use Italian proverbs like playing cards to win a game of human chess.... Continue Reading →

Liebster Award 2018 – Accepting the Love

Let me introduce you to Sadje of Keep It Alive. She is friendly, sociable, and goes out of her way to let people know when she likes their online creations. She has a great blog, writes wonderful posts, is very creative and inspiring, and she loves getting feedback. She's a beautiful blogging soul! I'm not... Continue Reading →

The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists – page three

So in the previous post -  The Korean Drama Guide to Narcissists - page two  -  I stated that: " three ... will be my attempt at a partial recap of a Kdrama which I partially watched and then bailed on because… the Narcissists, the Narcissists… took over the show..." I'm rather in awe of... Continue Reading →

Power Love Anger

There were three abstract subjects which were of prime importance in my formative years, and early environment: 1 - Power 2 - Love 3 - Anger Of those three - Love - was usually connected to and on the cusp of Anger or Power... . . When certain people get angry they sometimes justify their... Continue Reading →

The 6th House – The Doctor is in…

What's your attitude towards your body? How do you manage your health, your diet, and your other day to day doings, comings and goings? [Me (momentarily distracted from this post by a thought triggered after writing the sentence above and forced into awareness by the connections I made in mental imagery): I should really check... Continue Reading →

Love and the Narcissist’s Child

. Can you recall the moment that the concept of Love first became a conscious consideration for you? When did you start thinking about Love? When did you become aware that a certain sensation was a feeling called Love? And when did you begin conjuring up the image in your mind’s eye of the one... Continue Reading →

What type of people are you most attracted to now?

. Change is a natural part of life. Sometimes it is for the better, sometimes for the worse, sometimes its ambiguous and we're not really sure whether it's good or bad or neutral. It just happens and that's that. We may try to fight it, or we may try to force it... I've been trying... Continue Reading →

Narcissists – What’s the Attraction?

Why are we attracted to Narcissists? If you read enough articles about Narcissists... about how awful, how fake, how mean and nasty, how ugly, how evil, monstrous, and abusive they are... how they lie, cheat, steal, ignore, dismiss, invalidate, treat others like shit then dump them, discard them like a used hankerchief, or keep them... Continue Reading →

To Be With Him or To Be Him… what’s this attraction truly about?

"It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people's lives." - Clint Eastwood . Ah, fictional characters! So easy to fall in love with, to love, and never have to deal with any of the icky, sticky, and tricky side of love. They're so reliable, always there for you,... Continue Reading →

The Gilded Caged

. "Preheat oven. Remove sleeve and film. Place on a baking tray in centre of oven until golden brown and piping hot. Allow to stand for one minute." - ye cooking instructions for the bird in ye gilded cage. . Have you ever felt as though... You should have said No when you said Yes...... Continue Reading →

What is Love?

What is love? Do you know what love is? Can love be defined? . . What's the first thought or feeling which pops into your mind or heart when you think about love? Or who is the first person who comes to mind or heart? Is it someone else? Are you allowed to love them?... Continue Reading →

Narcissist Week in Review

When I started this series on what narcissists teach us, what I've learned from the ones in my life, I had an idea of how I was going to do it... but... that flew out the window. It is very windy around here... open a window and you're more likely to get sucked out and... Continue Reading →

Love – Narcissist Style

Those who love me, follow me... My father used to say that all the time... but what did he mean by it? What he meant was that you - whoever you were, his wife, his child, his brother, sister, parent, colleague, friend, mistress (he had a lot of those), etc,  - were supposed to love... Continue Reading →

…to die of nostalgia for something you never lived.

a whole made of halves . “It's a strange grief… to die of nostalgia for something you never lived.” ― Alessandro Baricco . What is nostalgia? What is it for you? . Is it the other half of a whole... a fraction of a whole, which takes up more space than the rest... . Is... Continue Reading →

When the soul lies down in that grass…

Have you ever had one on those moments when... everything was just right... not right as in free from wrong... not right as in perfect, because perfection is... not right, or free, it's stressful, at least the human version of it is... isn't... because it requires too much thought of the intellectual kind which is... Continue Reading →

The Awful Truth… take what you need

Sitting there so solemnly, A lady full of grace, In the Louvre gallery, With a smile upon  her face. I wonder what she's thinking, As she looks out at the crowd, Some people think she's winking, Others think she's proud.   . When I was about 9yrs old, my English teacher set us a task... Continue Reading →

Will You Marry Me?

A BIG heartfelt thank you to Carrie for having the courage of a lion and being the first to join in the fun, sweeping me off my feet with such a wonderful question and writing prompt (for more info, and to find out what I'm wittering on about - go here)! . Ok. Ready for... Continue Reading →

What is Mine… She Asked

. “There's never a man looked me between the eyes and seen a good day a'terward" - Long John Silver” ― Robert Louis Stevenson . What do you value? What's the treasure of your heart's desire? Is it something that belongs to you or is it something which belongs to someone else which you would... Continue Reading →

Stop Trying to Fix what is Broken…

It's difficult isn't it? Trying not to do something... especially once you've started doing it, whether physically or mentally. Many actions take place in the mind, more than in physical reality. It's easier to stop doing the physical stuff, than the mental stuff. If the mental stuff is directing the physical... once you start doing... Continue Reading →

How to Get a Narcissist to Love You

A very insightful, thought-provoking, and brilliant post by a wonderful blogger.


If you’ve ever been in love with a narcissist, then you know the confusion that this kind of love can create. Narcissists turn love into a mythical, fairy tale quest – which usually involves you trying desperately to win their heart, but their heart is always just out of your reach like a carrot dangled in front of you.


At some point you want to grab that carrot and eat it… before it turns rotten.


But a narcissist’s love, as good as it looks on the outside sometimes, always tastes funny (and not funny-haha). This post explains why it tastes that way.


Thank you for sharing!

In the Net! - Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival

The title of this post arrived in my search terms about a year ago. This query also came up for Ursula over at An Upturned Soul; she posted a excellent response that you can read here.

Frankly, I considered responding but then dropped it because I felt very ambivalent. I wondered if it was a real question or if it was in fact a narcissist who was just trolling. If real, what would I say to someone who is looking for an answer to this? I felt a little depressed every time I thought about it – there’s some poor, desperate person out there who is  trying to save a marriage, an engagement, a friendship, a relationship of some sort. But Ursula encouraged me to try – to give my take on it.

This person – I’m going to call him or her “Terry,” has likely done at least a little…

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embraced by you

A very beautiful, expressive, and deeply personal story about love, life, death and loss told by a talented writer of inner poetry. Thank you for sharing!

What does nelkumi think?

snowy mountain

A few weeks after you died, I was invited to go to the top of the mountain where I had never been. I concurred.
The night before we were to drive, however, I started to panic. My heart was racing, anxiety inside me churned, and I paced in my pajama, thinking, ” I can’t go. You are not with me. I haven’t been any new place without you.”
I felt nervous and considered of cancelling the trip when I spotted the black box that held your ashes.
“Ah, I just take you with me.”
I poured some of your ashes into a small pill container, deposited it in my purse and went to bed. I felt calm. Everything was going to be okay.
Next morning, as we were driving, I confessed to everybody that I had your ashes with me.
“I hope you are okay with it and don’t think…

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The Ideal Lover

A post I wrote this time last year. In it I share a link to a wonderful post by a great blogger, some extracts of an interesting book on aspects of love (seduction), and a dream which I will never forget and which had a powerful impact on me (and my approach to love).

Enjoy (sorry, it’s a long one as usual)!

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

An Upturned Soul

A quick intro and then a story about a dream lover.


Do you remember the first time you dreamed about your ideal lover? Can you still picture him or her?

Is that first ideal lover the same as the one you dream about today?

Even if you’re warmly ensconced in a relationship with a lover, you may still have moments of wandering in the land of ideals, ideal you, ideal them, ideal love.

It’s a fun trip into the place where daydreams glow and grow. Ideals inspire us. And it is wonderful to feel inspired, the feeling lifts us up and transports us on a magic carpet ride.


This post is inspired (as in unashamedly ripping off his idea) by – Christopher Malone of The Infinite Abyss(es) – and his recent Valentine’s Day post – A Valentine, Red; A Kettle, Black: An Essay. It is a long read, but…

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What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?

Night Passing Earth to Day by Frank L. Jirouch (photo by Daderot) . . “The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth... Continue Reading →

Guest Post Series: The 12 Days of Christmas

This is a beautiful story of the spirit of Christmas and humans.
I’m linking this to today’s Daily Post prompt: Getting Seasonal. I hope the author of this doesn’t mind.
The Daily prompt asked: The holiday season: can’t get enough of it, or can’t wait for it all to be over already? Has your attitude toward the end-of-year holidays changed over the years?
If I answered this from my own experience… but so much of this time of year is about understanding the world beyond yourself, how this season affects those who are around you, in all the diverse layers which surround you, and what it means for them. What it means for others can change what it means for you too.
Enjoy, best wishes and thank you for sharing your spirit of this season!

The Life of Kylie

My mom, Nancy, is posting a different Christmas memory for 12 days. She gave me her blessing to repost them here. It’s amazing how a life story can be told through the lens of a certain day.

Seventh Christmas Day Memory

Christmas Photo

(As most of you know, Phil was shot and killed June 9, 1984 while serving with the VA National Guard, and Philip/PJ was born 5 weeks later on July 15th.)

There we were in Fredericksburg having our first Christmas after Phil was killed. I took on the all the tasks – determined that Christmas would happen for the children just like they expected. Wrangling a Christmas tree brought me to tears as I dragged it home and struggled to get the dang thing to stay up. I baked, I shopped, I prepared for the stockings, check /check /check – everything getting done on my list. I knew I could…

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Maid of Honour

A magnificent tour de force of writing, creative thinking and feeling! – that’s what I felt and thought after I had finished reading this story. There are so many nuances within, insights into the psyche, the cupidity of cupid, and the vagaries of life, of relationships, or ourselves.
Please read and enjoy!
Thank you for sharing!


I saw this prompt yesterday and was drawn to that tiny little dark window in the background. I’m not even sure exactly what it is, but this is the story I instantly saw in my head. I’m not sure it exactly fits the prompt, but I had fun writing it *wink*

They forgot about this place. Huntsford Country House has many little nooks and crannies, a half dozen disused and ignored buildings, but I remember where they all are. I spent most of my childhood running around the estate when my dad was groundskeeper here. I reckon I know the grounds better than I know my new, speciality apartment. Good thing really, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be here today.

Dad taught me lots of things, how to set traps, how to hunt, how to forage and how to load and fire a rifle. Useful skills, not the ones I…

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You say that you don’t care… which means that you do.

There’s a quote which keeps popping up in my blog’s search results: . . . . “My life, my rules, love me or reject me, I don't care.” . . I hadn’t heard or seen this particular quote before, phrased in this manner... phrased in other ways it is familiar... the attitude it expresses is... Continue Reading →

Love Without Restriction

I’m recycling love again… or at least some thoughts inspired by and about a popular quote on love floating around on the internet.
“Love me without restriction,
Trust me without fear,
Want me without demand and accept me for who I am.”
When I first read this quote I loved its message, then I thought better (or less) of it as I thought more about all the other possible messages being delivered by the quote.
This is one of my favourite posts, because it makes me chuckle… mostly at myself… and I can still remember writing it and enjoying writing it.

An Upturned Soul


The other day I came across this quote:

“Love me without restriction,
Trust me without fear,
Want me without demand and accept me for who I am.”

My initial reaction to it was – Wow! Excellent!. Then I read it again, something about it made me uneasy. My mind began to whirr. I was compelled to delve deeper to find that which was hiding behind the attractive facade.

Once the seemingly open words had their free-spirited veneer chipped away, I began to feel restricted by them. When I first read them, it was as though I was the person saying those words, so they seemed right. But then I read them as though they were being said to me, and I felt that I was being given a set of rules of interaction. As long as I followed this person’s rules, they would allow me to love them, but if…

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Things You Should Know – About Love

I’m recycling… love… or at least some thoughts and words about a subject and concept with is both abstract and real.

An Upturned Soul

Love. Such a simple word for something so incredibly complex.

Everyone desires to love and be loved. From the very first moment we set foot on Earth until our very last breath. We arrive with arms wide open, our hearts free of all the pain which we have yet to taste, we give our love without concern for whether it is returned, and we embrace everyone equally. With each passing year, we gradually learn that love is not as easy as we believed it to be. Our hearts get bruised, our feelings hurt, and our unconditional love slowly accumulates conditions. Our arms cross over our chests to protect our tender hearts, until we hug ourselves so tightly that nothing gets in or goes out.

Love means so many different things to so many different people. It is a double-edged sword, able to cut us free from our chains, allowing us…

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What If No One Likes Me?

. . At what point in life do we start worrying about being liked? Does that worry ever go away? Are there people who never worry about being liked? Is that possible? . I read somewhere that the reason babies and baby animals are cute is nature’s way of ensuring that the parents and other... Continue Reading →

Die Hard with… Love

. . “In battle or business, whatever the game, In law or in love, it is ever the same; In the struggle for power, or the scramble for pelf, Let this be your motto - Rely on yourself! For, whether the prize be a ribbon or throne, The victor is he who can go it... Continue Reading →

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