Is John a Narcissist or is John the victim of a Narcissist?

[This is a repost of a post published in November 2014. This is one of those posts which I not only remember writing, but I also recall exactly what inspired me to write it. At the time I was receiving quite a lot of comments on my posts about narcissists, 'narcissist' was a trending hot... Continue Reading →

Talking about Narcissists… and Woundology

[Please note: This is a repost of a post published in June 2014. I chose to repost this because it sort of goes with the previous repost - When Narcissists Claim to be Victims of Narcissists – Who is the Narcissist?. When I wrote this post, and the previous one, I was going through an... Continue Reading →

Narcie The Narcissist is Looking for New Friends

Yes, it's another Narcie post, and Narcie is really sorry she's monopolising my blog but Narcie really needs this... You see she's having a bad start to the New Year. Everything was supposed to magically and miraculously change for her on New Year's Day, and when it didn't she was terribly upset. But she got... Continue Reading →

Narcie The Narcissist on January 1st 2018

January 1st is always a bit of a strange day. The first week of a new year can feel surreal. If you've ever lived with a narcissist, every day of every year can feel strange and surreal. Narcissists are big egos with big dreams of a big life... and the typical narcissist expects those big... Continue Reading →

The Red Flags I Use To Recognise A Narcissist

One of the most important things which you can do for yourself is to - Know Yourself. Self-knowledge is personal power. . . Getting to know yourself is a process which continuously happens over your entire lifetime. It starts off when you are born, simply, as you discover your own body, as you experience sensations,... Continue Reading →

How To Deal With A Narcissist When You Can’t Go No Contact

If you have a Narcissist in your life and you ask for advice on how to deal with them the most common answer you will get is - Go No Contact - in other words get away from them, run and keep running and never look back, cut them out of your life, get rid... Continue Reading →

Who’s More Dangerous?

Alice Miller's work is a must read for anyone interested in child psychology, their child's or their own inner child's psychology, and how parenting affects the child, or how your parenting reflects your own childhood, and many variations on that theme. Her book - The Drama of the Gifted Child - is excellent and is... Continue Reading →

Dinner with Narcissists

Thank you to lansealan for suggesting the idea of  writing a post about going out to eat with a narcissist. . So, where to begin... perhaps first I should mention that most of my experiences of going out to eat with a narcissist involve one or both of my parents. I apologise to any narcissist... Continue Reading →

The Worst Thing To Do To A Narcissist

If you were to ask me what the worst thing I have ever done to a narcissist has been... I'd have to take a long pause to think about it while I sort through all the imaginary worst things which the narcissists in my life think I've done to them (and spent hours on end... Continue Reading →

Narcissist – The Dream versus The Reality

Recently I've been watching the TV series - UnREAL. It's a fictional account, based on the real experience of one of the creators and writers, of what goes on behind the scenes of a Reality TV Show like The Bachelor. I've only ever watched one season of The Bachelor. I managed to watch the entire... Continue Reading →

Are You Obsessed with a Narcissist?

Last night I watched an intriguing film which told the story of a man who had never forgotten his first great love. The extent to which he hadn't forgotten her was obsessive. He thought about her all the time, wrote letters to her every day (which were returned to sender as she hadn't lived at... Continue Reading →

Narc Bites: It’s Always April Fools’ Day in Narcville

Do you think that April Fools' Day is fun? Do you enjoy playing pranks on others? Do you like to fool people into believing something then burst out laughing because you were just kidding and they took you seriously? It's just a bit of fun, no harm intended, right? We all need some light entertainment... Continue Reading →

How to Think like a Narcissist

You’ve just stubbed your toe. Pain shoots through you making you want to scream. The doors of hell open and welcome you. You can’t think, you can only feel this excruciating torture of intense throbbing hurt. . (narcissists think this a lot, this for them makes them special but also increases their sense of being... Continue Reading →

Narcissism Bites: When a Narcissist Accuses You of Being a Narcissist

I was so convinced that today was Saturday that even all evidence proving it was Sunday seemed wrong... (I've screwed myself over this weekend...) . . At some point in your life, maybe from the very early stages of it, you'll have a common experience which all human beings encounter, and may encounter often throughout... Continue Reading →

Leaps I’ve Taken in Life… and their consequences

Do you look before you leap or leap and look later? Chances are you do a bit of both depending on the situation and how much you want to do one or the other. At any given point we have a hundred tangents bearing down on our decisions, from our past, present, and all those... Continue Reading →

Tales from Narcville: How to Deal with a Narcissist… part two…

I once craved an eclair. It wasn't the first time I'd experienced that kind of craving. I have always had a thing for eclairs, especially coffee ones... with coffee creme patissiere inside (if it has ersatz cream inside - it's a fraud eclair!) I even wrote a song all about my eclair craving. I'm that... Continue Reading →

Tales from Narcville: How to Deal with a Narcissist… part one…

  image by Mirtle . I've placed myself in rather a strange position. This isn't the first time I've done something like that. For all the thinking that I do, I sometimes don't think things through. I don't work out all the possible consequences in advance... and then figure out if I am willing to... Continue Reading →

Tales from Narcville – Stop Censoring Yourself, and other self-editing problems

Someone whose opinion I value... because... well, amongst other things, they've weathered the storm that is par for the course in the process of getting to know me... recently told me that I should stop editing myself so much. I agree, you're right, I'm trying... and that can be very trying! I'm not an easy... Continue Reading →

What is a Narcissist?

What is a Narcissist? What do you think a narcissist is? Do you know a narcissist? Are you sure that the person who you think is a narcissist is actually a narcissist? What is your definition of a narcissist which you use to classify whether someone is or is not a narcissist? According to a... Continue Reading →

Dangerous Innocence

Can we start over? - asked the spider of the fly. The fly wrapped up in fine silk, spun around and looked at the spider. Was the spider crazy!?! What did it mean by 'starting over'? The spider had captured the fly, wrestled with it, injected it with poison, wrapped it up, and left it... Continue Reading →

The Parasitic Life

At the moment there's a patch of garden just outside of the house which has become a bumblebee graveyard. I'm not really sure why so many bumblebees are dying, or why they keep choosing to die in that particular spot. It may be due to it being the only patch which gets sunshine... when there... Continue Reading →

The Age of the Narcissist – The Best and the Worst of it

. Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? That's a bit of a trick question... tricky to answer. Why? Partly because the term 'narcissist' hasn't always meant what it means now. It used to mean someone who was very vain... . . ... in love with themselves, with their reflection which... Continue Reading →

Narcissist – The Eternal Child

When they are good... they are very very good... And when they are bad... they are horrid. . . Children can be selfish, wrapped up in themselves, in their own world and version of reality... so much so that they can't see anyone else's (especially their parents') point of view. They have no empathy... and... Continue Reading →

The Two Opposite Sides of Knowing About Narcissism

This is a wonderful post from a deeply introspective blogger, who shares themselves on their beautifully insightful blog.

If you’ve ever been involved in a relationship with a narcissist or someone you thought could, maybe, perhaps have narcissistic personality disorder… but you hope that they don’t, that what you think is somehow just you and not them… then please read this, and the other posts on this blog.

It is rare to get a male perspective of a female narcissist… This perspective is more than that, it is rich with heartfelt personal experience, empathy, and a need to understand.
Thank you for sharing!

apensiveheart's Blog


In my continuing evaluation of where my life was, is, and appears to be going, I have discovered there are certain things that I know now that I sometimes wish that I didn’t.  While I wish that I didn’t know them, I also understand that ultimately they are going to benefit me.  Are you confused enough yet?  To be more to the point, I often wish that I didn’t know anything about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  Why?  Let me explain.

My narcissistic wife (and now ex) moved out of our home 9 months ago.  This was in addition to us dating back in 1999, when she abruptly left me, dating again in 2001, when she again abruptly left me, and then getting together again in 2006 and ultimately getting married in 2009.  She also moved out without warning in November, 2013 only to return in late January, 2014, with the final move out occurring…

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Is Your Parent a Narcissist? – Take the Survey!

Image by V. Jarski from - Surviving the Narcissistic Parent via The Invisible Scar - please read this article if you think you're a child of a narcissist/narcissists. . . If you missed the Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs) survey and study which Valerie Coles, Ph.D. and Dr. Jennifer Monahan of The University of Georgia’s... Continue Reading →

When is the Solution to a Problem worse than the Problem?

I'm feeling a bit brain dead at the moment. The weather inside is blah with a case of the blerghs about feeling blah. But it's nothing terminal, or serious, as far as I know, but I don't know anything right now. I've been here before, and it goes the same as it comes. . For... Continue Reading →

Are Narcissists Aware that they’re Narcissists?

This is also why people might want to learn to perhaps unlearn statistics... . This post is for the person who keeps asking me this question. How aware is a Narcissist of being a Narcissist ? Bottom line is - I don't know... . "Everything was empty, dead, mute, Fallen abandoned, and decayed: Inconceivably alien,... Continue Reading →

Saying Terrible Things…

. I called this photograph which I chose for the DP photo challenge: Blur - The Shredded Man. This photo came about because I was feeding a fire with loose packaging material and noticed that there was a drawing on one of the pieces of shredded paper. My camera was close at hand and I... Continue Reading →

A Must Read on NPD: Narcissism – Living without Feelings

Please feel free to skip my blah blah and go straight to the article which inspired this post and which I highly recommend as a 'Must Read' if you've been affected by Narcissism, Narcissists, NPD, in any way. That includes if you think that you may be a narcissist, have NPD (this article will not... Continue Reading →

Path Finder…?

“Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.” ― Neil Gaiman . My mother used to tease me about a tendency I had - my attraction to what she called 'mysterious ways'. Mysterious ways = taking the path less traveled. Trekking off through briar and nettle patches when I could just stick... Continue Reading →

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