Talking about Narcissists… and Woundology

[Please note: This is a repost of a post published in June 2014. I chose to repost this because it sort of goes with the previous repost - When Narcissists Claim to be Victims of Narcissists – Who is the Narcissist?. When I wrote this post, and the previous one, I was going through an... Continue Reading →

The Two Opposite Sides of Knowing About Narcissism

This is a wonderful post from a deeply introspective blogger, who shares themselves on their beautifully insightful blog.
.

If you’ve ever been involved in a relationship with a narcissist or someone you thought could, maybe, perhaps have narcissistic personality disorder… but you hope that they don’t, that what you think is somehow just you and not them… then please read this, and the other posts on this blog.
.

It is rare to get a male perspective of a female narcissist… This perspective is more than that, it is rich with heartfelt personal experience, empathy, and a need to understand.
.
Thank you for sharing!

apensiveheart's Blog

imagesCA206NO6

In my continuing evaluation of where my life was, is, and appears to be going, I have discovered there are certain things that I know now that I sometimes wish that I didn’t.  While I wish that I didn’t know them, I also understand that ultimately they are going to benefit me.  Are you confused enough yet?  To be more to the point, I often wish that I didn’t know anything about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  Why?  Let me explain.

My narcissistic wife (and now ex) moved out of our home 9 months ago.  This was in addition to us dating back in 1999, when she abruptly left me, dating again in 2001, when she again abruptly left me, and then getting together again in 2006 and ultimately getting married in 2009.  She also moved out without warning in November, 2013 only to return in late January, 2014, with the final move out occurring…

View original post 938 more words

Is Your Parent a Narcissist? – Take the Survey!

Image by V. Jarski from - Surviving the Narcissistic Parent via The Invisible Scar - please read this article if you think you're a child of a narcissist/narcissists. . . If you missed the Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs) survey and study which Valerie Coles, Ph.D. and Dr. Jennifer Monahan of The University of Georgia’s... Continue Reading →

How to Get a Narcissist to Love You

A very insightful, thought-provoking, and brilliant post by a wonderful blogger.

.

If you’ve ever been in love with a narcissist, then you know the confusion that this kind of love can create. Narcissists turn love into a mythical, fairy tale quest – which usually involves you trying desperately to win their heart, but their heart is always just out of your reach like a carrot dangled in front of you.

.

At some point you want to grab that carrot and eat it… before it turns rotten.

.

But a narcissist’s love, as good as it looks on the outside sometimes, always tastes funny (and not funny-haha). This post explains why it tastes that way.

.

Thank you for sharing!

In the Net! - Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival

The title of this post arrived in my search terms about a year ago. This query also came up for Ursula over at An Upturned Soul; she posted a excellent response that you can read here.

Frankly, I considered responding but then dropped it because I felt very ambivalent. I wondered if it was a real question or if it was in fact a narcissist who was just trolling. If real, what would I say to someone who is looking for an answer to this? I felt a little depressed every time I thought about it – there’s some poor, desperate person out there who is  trying to save a marriage, an engagement, a friendship, a relationship of some sort. But Ursula encouraged me to try – to give my take on it.

This person – I’m going to call him or her “Terry,” has likely done at least a little…

View original post 1,165 more words

Understanding Narcissists

Soylent Green by rob3rtarmstrong . . Why are you reading this post? The answer to that question is not for my benefit but for yours. I would like you to take a moment to focus on yourself and your motives for reading a post about narcissists. Pause to self reflect and centre yourself on you.... Continue Reading →

Parental Communication – A Survey for Adult Children of Narcissists – Act Now!

Are you a self-identified ACoN - Adult Child of a Narcissist? . . If you are please consider taking this survey - Parental Communication Measure Study . . The survey is being conducted by Valerie Coles, Ph.D. and Dr. Jennifer Monahan of the University of Georgia’s Department of Communication Studies. It is open to all Adult Children... Continue Reading →

I Think This Belongs To You

In celebration of this time of year, when a certain event happens which prompts a review of this and that, with trepidation I ventured into my blog archives and ended up on this piece which I wrote in 2013.
.
At that time a lot had been stirred up, the past had circled around and made itself the present, and I did then what I always do (at least in the always of now) I wrote my thoughts out to see what emerged, and if it might help me to figure things out.
.
It did then, in a way, and it has done now, in a way.
.
Revisiting my old posts is not something I do as often as perhaps I should. I keep urging myself to tidy up my blog a bit, but I never do because I prefer to just keep going forwards, evolving this way and that. Sometimes though… a going backwards can assist with going forwards.

An Upturned Soul

From the moment we are born, not our actual physical birth, but the moment our existence enters the conscious mind of others, the moment our birth mother realises that she is pregnant and our birth father realises that his sperm has created a being, people start giving us gifts.

Those gifts are a part of themselves, not a part of us, yet they become a part of us. We absorb them. Our growing self is nurtured as much by the thoughts and feelings of the world outside the womb as it is by the nutrients fed to us inside the womb by the umbilical cord.

If those gifts are positive they give us light. We feel welcome on Earth, safe, loved, wanted, good, and we look forward to being born. If those gifts are negative they give us darkness. We feel frightened, unsafe, unwanted, unloved, bad, and we dread the…

View original post 1,500 more words

What is the best Revenge against a Narcissist?

image by Daniel Clarke . . What is the best revenge against a narcissist? This question is a search term which someone used online which brought them to my blog. Whether they found what they were looking for or not, I don’t know. And I don’t know what the best revenge against a narcissist is.... Continue Reading →

What do you do if you think that you may be a Narcissist, Overt or Covert or Otherwise?

“Hi, I took a study and found out I am a covert narcissist. Do you think there is anything I can do about this to change or is it hopeless? You can be honest.” . . This question was asked of me by Anonymous (on tumblr). It’s not the first time someone has asked me... Continue Reading →

The “Dollhouse Effect” of Narcissism

A magnificently insightful post from a very creative blog and blogger! Thank you for sharing! . Upon the welcome mat of a narcissist's world is a sign: Welcome to the Dollhouse... you can never leave. .

The story of a relationship with a narcissist: I Am Not Special by Hope

I am not special. When I was a child, the message from my parents was clear: Take care of yourself. We don’t want to do it. You are not special. And so I became an adult very early in life, full of determination to be self-sufficient and self-determined. At forty-five, a disordered person took an... Continue Reading →

Fragmented Histories

. . One of the signs which apparently gives a narcissist away is a fragmented personal history. When they tell you about their life previous to meeting you; You’ll get highlights which put them in a good light. You’ll get the typical - all my exes were psychos. . . . . You’ll get dramatic... Continue Reading →

An Inconvenient Introspection about Narcissists

"So here I am, just another a narcissistic blogger looking for ego-boosting hits, and happy to get some by writing a controversial piece that suggests that you, dear reader might be a narcissist among narcissists, in an increasingly narcissistic culture." - Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D . The quote above comes from an excellent article - A... Continue Reading →

Why Is No Contact So Difficult?

Great Post!
.
Great blog for those who’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist… and really even if you haven’t been in a relationship with a narcissist, society (especially society in media) can be narcissistic or experienced that way, and these tips, ideas and ‘mind hacks’ are useful in life in general.
.
Awareness is key… the key to ourselves and our well being.
.
The most important relationship in your life is the one which you have with yourself.
Nurture that relationship… nurture yourself!
.
Thank you for sharing!.
.
Brilliant blog, from a talented blogger and beautiful soul!

After Narcissistic Abuse

One of the hardest things about narcissistic abuse and going no contact, is getting to that point in time where we cross the line from WANTING the narcissist to love us & being devastated by the feelings that they don’t, along with everything that means to us and ACCEPTING that they are entirely and forever incapable of it.

Whether or not we loved ourselves before we met a narcissist, is irrelevant. The fact is, we were sold on the idea that a narcissist did love us in a grandiose narc fashion, then they went about the business of abusing us. In that abuse, they also relentlessly verbally berated us, insidiously blamed us over and over again, sending us the message that somehow the abuse was our fault and that we were not worthy of anything more. 

By the time we wise up and decide to put them behind us, the…

View original post 2,215 more words

The Golden Child

A well thought out and thoughtful post! . Please read it carefully, especially if you relate to the scapegoat role assigned to you by your narcissist parent, before you react. The subject of being a child of a narcissist (ACoN) can trigger our pain and we need to pause before reacting to make sure we... Continue Reading →

What is The Silent Treatment ?

Are you a Narcissist? . . . No… . . . Then why are you taking the Silent Treatment personally? . . . Why do you think that a Narcissist’s Silent Treatment is about you? . . . It’s not about you. It is all about them. . . Perhaps you're D.U.I...or D.y.U.I.N... Driving yourself... Continue Reading →

Talking about Narcissists… and Woundology

  When I first started blogging about my experience of Narcissists, I was hesitant in what I said. There were many reasons for my hesitancy, all of which were part of my personal wound. The major one being that I had spent so long trapped in silence that I wasn't sure if I could speak... Continue Reading →

Surviving the Narcissistic Parent: ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists)

A superb account of what it is like to be the child of a narcissistic mother, which also applies to a narcissistic father.

We need to inform ourselves – whether we are ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists), their partners, spouses, friends or otherwise, or whether we are in a relationship with a narcissist, have children with them, or are affected by them in any other way.

The more we understand them and how they affect us, the more we can understand how to heal, undo what they have done, find a way to be free from their programming, training, influence and control.

By finding out what is ‘wrong’ we can find out what is ‘right’, with us, with others.

By sharing we help ourselves and we help others help themselves too.

Thank you for sharing.

The Invisible Scar

narcissistic-mothers-smApril is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. At The Invisible Scar, we are focusing on emotional child abuse, such as the various types, how to help emotionally abused children,  resources for healing, adult survivors of emotional child abuse, and the special case of narcissism.

Adult children of narcissistic parents (ACoNs) know a special type of emotional abuse in being raised by narcissists. (Biological mothers, stepmothers, biological fathers, and stepfathers can be N parents.) 

Before we discuss the special case of narcissism, please note that not every emotionally abusive parent has the narcissistic personality disorder. In some circumstances, an emotionally abusive parent who is not a narcissist can change and improve his or her parenting.  The same is not true for the narcissistic parent, however. Every narcissistic parent is an emotional abuser.

A narcissist is a person who has the narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one…

View original post 8,312 more words

Destination Misery

A stunning post about Narcissists and their ways, but also a philosophical insight into our own ways.

Our hopes are often beautiful dreams which inspire us and get us through tough times… and sometimes they get us into those tough times.

Awareness is a part of our personal power, awareness of others and of ourselves, so we can enjoy our dreams, take a holiday to the destination they offer us, without losing ourselves and finding that the beautiful dream is actually an advert for a nightmare.

Thank you for sharing, Kim, your blog is a wonderful oasis!

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

lush beach

The brochure shows a beautiful, lush vacation resort.  Stunning, blue waters caress white-sand beaches.  The five-star hotel looks comfy and accommodating with smiling staff ready to cater to your every whim.  You buy the ticket, pack your bags and catch a taxi to the airport.

The stewardesses greet you with warm smiles, take your bags and escort you to your seat.  At once, you are asked your choice of cocktail and offered a scrumptious snack.  Shortly after, the plane takes off and you close your eyes, imagining what life will be like when you arrive at your scenic destination.

Shortly before touching down, there is terrible turbulence.  You realize the cabin crew is nowhere to be seen.  You look through the window…the place at which you’ve arrived at is nothing like what you believed.  The plane comes to a screeching halt and you walk feebly toward the exit.  You get to…

View original post 115 more words

When Narcissists Claim to be Victims of Narcissists – Who is the Narcissist?

If you’re searching online for information about Narcissists, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Narcissistic parents, being a Child of Narcissists, an ACoN - Adult Child of Narcissists, being in a relationship with a Narcissist, being a Victim of a Narcissist, How to Play the Narcissist’s Game and maybe win, How to Piss a Narcissist Off... Continue Reading →

Behind the Facade of the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment

Adi Nes from Boys SeriesThe other day the beautiful and insightful Kim Saeed gave me a Not Featured on Freshly Pressed award nomination. Her blog - Let Me Reach - tackles the painful experience of being in a relationship with a Narcissist and offers ways to heal and recover from it.In her own words:“...what matters... Continue Reading →

Who is the Narcissist? – This is a rant

. I get very passionate about certain things and the passion takes over. One of the things which sets my passion off is when victims of Narcissists victimise other victims of Narcissists not intentionally but through misunderstanding. Which in some ways makes it worse. It’s that road to hell paved with good intentions. If I... Continue Reading →

Online Narcissists – Does the Blog you Follow belong to a Narcissist?

I came across this brilliant post - Online Narcissism: Writers with NPD by Thomas Swan - which explores Narcissistic Personality Disorder expressed in writing on a blog and gives ways to spot if the blog you follow belongs to someone with NPD.There are a plethora of online articles written about online Narcissists. This is a... Continue Reading →

The Absent Father and The Devouring Mother

The title of this post comes from the first two chapters of the book - Going Mad to Stay Sane: The Psychology of Self-Destructive Behaviour by Andy White , and the author has a blog - Andy White – Narcissism and The Fruits of Suffering. It is one of my favourite books as it explained... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #8 – Relationship Rules for Narcissists

As a Narcissist you approach life strategically. You're very focused on being the best, popular, superior, successful and powerful. You need to keep your mind, heart, soul and body pure. You are special, brilliant, a genius, extraordinary, immortal, super human, and you need to be treated with the respect which you deserve, which is your... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #6 – Censorship and Control

Fre.... by BossLogic You get the majority of your Narcissistic Supply from conversation. So it is vital that you control the flow of verbal interaction. Other people might want to discuss themselves and their lives. They call this sharing, you call this a waste of your precious time. They might want to talk about the... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #5 – The Male Narcissist… The Saviour of the World has Arrived!

You are the ideal man. That’s all you need to know and I’m not going to write anymore about you. Of course I’m kidding! There is so much to tell you about yourself that I may have to devote an entire blog to it for the next several hundred years. Since you’re immortal that sort... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #4 – The Female Narcissist is the Greatest Empath in the World!

. Here’s a secret for the ears and eyes of Female (and certain males of the species) Narcissists only - No one is as empathic as you are! If you are a female Narcissist, your empathic skills border on the supernatural. Telepathic empathic. Clairaudient and all the clairs which such psychic abilities endow you with... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #3 – In a Narcissistic Society, the Narcissist is King or Queen!

The Society in which we live has already done most of the groundwork preparing people for you to swoop into their lives, sweep them off their feet, put them in a gilded cage and use them to bolster your ego. Society will also help you to keep them trapped. They’re either with us or against... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #2 – Make Others Responsible for Solving the Drama of Your Life

As a Narcissist your life is larger than anyone else's life. That's a fact. Don't ever doubt it. You don't do doubt unless you're pretending to do it for the benefit of luring someone into your drama - your three (probably more) ring circus. Your monkeys are loose and someone needs to put them back... Continue Reading →

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: