How Do You Deal With Pain?

Pain comes in many forms, shapes, sizes, and... people. Every person you see, meet, bump into on the street or online is in pain, has been in pain, will be in pain. Pain is everywhere and in everything. When I was going through a particularly overly sensitive period, I used to avoid the section in... Continue Reading →

Talking about Narcissists… and Woundology

[Please note: This is a repost of a post published in June 2014. I chose to repost this because it sort of goes with the previous repost - When Narcissists Claim to be Victims of Narcissists – Who is the Narcissist?. When I wrote this post, and the previous one, I was going through an... Continue Reading →

Narc Bites: It’s Always April Fools’ Day in Narcville

Do you think that April Fools' Day is fun? Do you enjoy playing pranks on others? Do you like to fool people into believing something then burst out laughing because you were just kidding and they took you seriously? It's just a bit of fun, no harm intended, right? We all need some light entertainment... Continue Reading →

How to Think like a Narcissist

You’ve just stubbed your toe. Pain shoots through you making you want to scream. The doors of hell open and welcome you. You can’t think, you can only feel this excruciating torture of intense throbbing hurt. . (narcissists think this a lot, this for them makes them special but also increases their sense of being... Continue Reading →

A Post for The Invisible Daughter

. . “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.” ―... Continue Reading →

Guest Post Series: The 12 Days of Christmas

This is a beautiful story of the spirit of Christmas and humans.
I’m linking this to today’s Daily Post prompt: Getting Seasonal. I hope the author of this doesn’t mind.
The Daily prompt asked: The holiday season: can’t get enough of it, or can’t wait for it all to be over already? Has your attitude toward the end-of-year holidays changed over the years?
If I answered this from my own experience… but so much of this time of year is about understanding the world beyond yourself, how this season affects those who are around you, in all the diverse layers which surround you, and what it means for them. What it means for others can change what it means for you too.
Enjoy, best wishes and thank you for sharing your spirit of this season!

The Life of Kylie

My mom, Nancy, is posting a different Christmas memory for 12 days. She gave me her blessing to repost them here. It’s amazing how a life story can be told through the lens of a certain day.

Seventh Christmas Day Memory

Christmas Photo

(As most of you know, Phil was shot and killed June 9, 1984 while serving with the VA National Guard, and Philip/PJ was born 5 weeks later on July 15th.)

There we were in Fredericksburg having our first Christmas after Phil was killed. I took on the all the tasks – determined that Christmas would happen for the children just like they expected. Wrangling a Christmas tree brought me to tears as I dragged it home and struggled to get the dang thing to stay up. I baked, I shopped, I prepared for the stockings, check /check /check – everything getting done on my list. I knew I could…

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Finding Your Inner Narcissist

All or Nothing? . . We need narcissism. It is a natural part of the human psyche. It helps to develop our ego. We need the ego too. It too is a natural part of the human psyche. Narcissism and ego are good for us, for our development, our evolution. They help us to define... Continue Reading →

Letting go, Moving on, and Getting over it

For Halloween I was going to write a post about my hatred of zombies. This is what I wrote thus far: . Why I Hate The Walking Dead (this was the draft’s title) Hate is probably too strong a word to describe how I feel about a fictional TV series… however it describes the irrational... Continue Reading →

If You Prick Us, Do We Not Bleed?

. . If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.” ― William Shakespeare . . I... Continue Reading →

Gossamer Blues

  ∇ “For men are held above their fellows by the gossamer of reputation, which is so soft and fragile a breath can blow it away.” - Iain Pears Δ With one word, One word used a certain way, A certain way to denote a criticism, A fault, A flaw, An imperfection, A lost ideal,... Continue Reading →

How To Get a Narcissist to Love You

  The title of this post comes from a query which keeps cropping up in the search criteria in my stats which informs me of what has led someone to my blog. Since I’m fairly certain that I haven’t written a post about this, I thought I would address it so as not to disappoint... Continue Reading →

Talking about Narcissists… and Woundology

  When I first started blogging about my experience of Narcissists, I was hesitant in what I said. There were many reasons for my hesitancy, all of which were part of my personal wound. The major one being that I had spent so long trapped in silence that I wasn't sure if I could speak... Continue Reading →

Dear Mother (yep, you get one, too);

Beautiful, poignant, and a wonderful expression of all the facets of relationship and being human.

A powerful post!

If you ever wonder why people blog… this is why. Sometimes it’s the only way to give voice to things we find hard to say otherwise.

Thank you for sharing!

here we are. here we go.

I decided to not publish the rather extensive detailed account of how I made the official decision to distance myself from my own mother last night, during a life event where a child (no matter the age) needs a mommy most.

Instead, you do things that truly hurt my feelings. Like sending me text after text how I hurt you and that I’m “so blind to you” and that “I am really missing out” while checking in my father at the VA ER with my son this afternoon. Literally; and without exaggeration.

I decided not to publish my last evening’s semi-rantish post, but I also don’t deserve to continue to be antagonized over and over after explaining where I was and asking you to let me feel like I just have the support from my mother.

In fact the one relaxing moment I am allowed to take is dedicated towards…

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When Your Sense of Each Other Darkens…

    “Every friendship travels at sometime through the black valley of despair. This tests every aspect of your affection. You lose the attraction and the magic. Your sense of each other darkens and your presence is sore. If you can come through this time, it can purify with your love, and falsity and need... Continue Reading →

Dreams of Sleep

Arianna Dormiente - photo by Sailko   This past week all my dreams have been of myself sleeping. In one of these dreams I collapsed into bed exhausted, fell deeply into a sleep so heavy that I crushed my limbs under the weight of my body as I lay in a contorted position. In another... Continue Reading →

Into The Blue

  "Even as you suffer apparent defeats, you may discover that what you are losing is not really anything significant. You may learn that the needs of your ego are not your real needs at all." - Robert Hand.   It is sometimes said that our own suffering makes us more empathic towards others and... Continue Reading →

On Stabbing Yourself in the Eye with a Pencil

Eye Pencil Drawing by AtomiccircuS   This morning I woke up with a shock. I had just stabbed myself in the eye with a pencil in an attempt to solve a problem. The problem was a pain in my left eye. A sharp feeling of having a shard of glass inside the eyeball. And the... Continue Reading →

My Mother Once Told Me…

A Victorian Family Portrait via The Independent My mother once told me… That as a child she used to imagine what being loved and loving would be like. One particular memory stood out in her mind. Not a single memory of one incident, but a memory of longing and yearning which coloured an incident which... Continue Reading →

We are most Afraid of Others doing to Us what we do to Them

What would you say is the most constant fear which you have in relationships? It’s not necessarily the greatest fear, the one shouting the loudest in your mind, sometimes it is the quietest one because it knows that a whisper penetrates much further than a shout. It’s a drip drip drip that works its way... Continue Reading →

Guidelines For Commenting on my Blog Posts

The other day I deleted a comment from a regular commenter. This commenter is usually respectful, insightful and gives good comment. I do not have a problem with them, I had a problem with that particular comment and the context of it. First it was directed at another commenter, and I am protective of those... Continue Reading →

Who is the Narcissist? – This is a rant

. I get very passionate about certain things and the passion takes over. One of the things which sets my passion off is when victims of Narcissists victimise other victims of Narcissists not intentionally but through misunderstanding. Which in some ways makes it worse. It’s that road to hell paved with good intentions. If I... Continue Reading →

Heart-wrenching Beauty: Antony and The Johnsons – Hope There’s Someone   Hope there's someone Who'll take care of me When I die, will I go Hope there's someone Who'll set my heart free Nice to hold when I'm tired There's a ghost on the horizon When I go to bed How can I fall asleep tonight How will I rest my head Oh I'm... Continue Reading →

The Multi-faceted Joy of Blogging

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama XIV Before I go off on one of my rambles, I would like to welcome into the wonderful world and community of blogging… Deborah Allin and her very first blog - Emerging From The Dark Night. She has only just... Continue Reading →

And A Very Unusual Christmas To You Too!

The other night as I was drifting off to slumberland, a deer barked, the sound echoing eerily in the still of night. Deer barks are similar to dog barks. At first I thought it was a dog, but the local dogs don’t bark. Not often, not like that. It went on for a while, repetitive... Continue Reading →

A Poem about the Pain of a Narcissistic Relationship by Deborah Allin

Kiss the ghost by Mon-artifice You pull me in I am erased Filled with feelings That have nothing to do with me You use me as a mirror Of yourself You won’t feel so lost But I will be When you leave I will be drained Since you suck All the life out of me... Continue Reading →

Death by Narcissism

This is a very poignant story. Is it fictional or is it non-fiction hidden within the safety of fiction? The feelings within it are very real. And that which it inspires is very real.

And if you’ve been in a relationship with a Narcissist, then you know all too well how the boundaries between what is real and what is unreal can blur, often making the unreal more real than reality.

Confused ?… confusion is at the core of Narcissistic abuse. They are very confused, but they don’t own their confusion, they pass it on to you and leave you to deal with it.

Once you’ve read this, please take the time to read this too: Leaving Your Narcissist – Which Path Will You Take?

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed


** A fictional piece about the evil of Narcissism

When I first met Alyssa, she was a sweet, vibrant woman who had built up her business as a Life Coach in only eighteen months.  She lived three houses down from me and would often invite me in for coffee after my morning run.  That was, until she met Ethan.

I always felt there was something “off” about Ethan, but Alyssa thought he was a prince.  He moved in with her shortly after they started dating and I began to see her less and less until the only time I would see her was when she left for work.

The last time I saw her, she looked old and broken… an apparition of the woman she’d once been.  She’d stopped me during my jog and gave me a worn leather journal and told me that if anything ever happened to her…

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In Loss We Often FInd Ourselves

The Story of Augustus from Struwwelpeter by Heinrich Hoffman via Project Gutenberg When I was a child I was given several books which come under the category of - Cautionary Tales for Children. They are basically stories about children who ended up very badly because they didn't follow the rules which the adults in their... Continue Reading →

Dear Person Whose Comments I Won’t Approve…

I suppose some would brand you a troll, a merchant of wind-up, an agent provocateur of the world of social media, and would advise me to ignore you and your comments. However you, just like every other human, has a right to express yourself, and has a right to receive attention for your self expression.... Continue Reading →

The Invitation

Okay, here is my confession, never to be repeated for fear of recriminations – I find poetry boring. I know it is the language of the soul. Live and let live, so enjoy poetry, don’t make me enjoy it for your sake. BUT… this speaks to my soul of my soul, yet it is the words of another’s soul… a very beautiful soul of another!
Read it and… that’s up to you.

Pluranian RamBull!ngs

by allisonpurves

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your…

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