The Honourable Judgement of Others

I don't normally like to comment on News stories, especially those which have become a hot topic online and are doing the world wide web outrage rounds. There are many reasons why I prefer to keep my opinion to myself. Mostly it is because what is reported in the News, and then spread from mouth... Continue Reading →

A Tale of Two Legacies

. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope,... Continue Reading →

The Awful Truth… take what you need

Sitting there so solemnly, A lady full of grace, In the Louvre gallery, With a smile upon  her face. I wonder what she's thinking, As she looks out at the crowd, Some people think she's winking, Others think she's proud.   . When I was about 9yrs old, my English teacher set us a task... Continue Reading →

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

. If you're my age or thereabouts... - which in trending terms would be the sort of person who wears flats to The Cannes Film Festival (I have no idea what the real story behind the snowballing media 'real story' version is, it's hard to believe anything these days, but this has stirred up so... Continue Reading →

Life on a Narcissistic Roller Coaster

When I was about 13 years old, my mother and I took a trip to New York City. The reason for the trip was so that my mother could check up on my father’s business partners in one of his latest ventures. He had a habit, according to my mother, of getting involved with dubious... Continue Reading →

The Golden Child

A well thought out and thoughtful post! . Please read it carefully, especially if you relate to the scapegoat role assigned to you by your narcissist parent, before you react. The subject of being a child of a narcissist (ACoN) can trigger our pain and we need to pause before reacting to make sure we... Continue Reading →

Swimming, Crawling, Walking, Talking

Photo by Cheri Lucas Rowlands via The Daily Post   Before I learned to do anything else, except eating, drinking and sleeping, I learned to swim. I was a lucky baby. My parents had a house with a pool. It was a big curvaceous pool, with tiny shimmering mosaic tiles of varying shades of blue,... Continue Reading →

The Story of Snow Doll

When I was a child my mother used to tell me Japanese folklore stories. Her favourite story was - O Tsuru no Ongaeshi - The Grateful Crane. There are two versions of it, one with a young man and one with an old couple. I was told the latter version. It is the tale of... Continue Reading →

The Absent Father and The Devouring Mother

The title of this post comes from the first two chapters of the book - Going Mad to Stay Sane: The Psychology of Self-Destructive Behaviour by Andy White , and the author has a blog - Andy White – Narcissism and The Fruits of Suffering. It is one of my favourite books as it explained... Continue Reading →

If you look for Perfection, you’ll never be Content

“If you look for perfection, you'll never be content.” ― Leo Tolstoy The Daily Post is whispering in my ear again asking me this time to - Tell us about a time when everything actually turned out exactly as you’d hoped - and - show us - PERFECT - in CAPS... what's all the shouting... Continue Reading →

Are You A Narcissist?

This post was inspired by some of the things which you have said to me. I hope you don’t mind, and I hope you can see how much you inspire me. What would happen if you went into therapy to try and heal the issues that the Narcissists in your life have caused, and your... Continue Reading →

A Harsh Slap of Awakening

Daily Prompt: Sad But True Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’ve ever gotten. Does it still apply? This prompt prompted a long path of thought with many other paths meandering away from it. As much as I enjoy following as many thought paths as possible at... Continue Reading →

My Mother Thinks I am The Evil Dead

About ten years ago I cut off all contact with my mother. I got to that straw that broke the camel's back moment. It was a long time coming. My mother is a Malignant Narcissist. She doesn't know this of course, she sees herself as a saint, a martyr and a perpetual damsel in distress... Continue Reading →

The Little Green Bag George Baker - Little Green Bag What's my favourite toy? I had too many toys as a child. I was the spoiled only child of two wealthy Narcissists who had many sycophants who paid homage to the child to curry favour with the parents. I did not want toys, I wanted love, but since... Continue Reading →

What Do You Want? A Trip Down Memory Lane with Pluto… retrograde and transiting the 4th House… I guess we won’t be skipping.

What do you want? is one of those questions which I ask in my mind so often that it could be considered a mantra. It serves several different purposes and means various things to me. Some of these are superficial, yet they are not trivial because they are the outer manifestations of the inner conundrums... Continue Reading →

Too Tired to Blog… yet doing it anyway.

The other day I made some infinitesimal progress in the agonisingly slow process of sorting out the mess my father left behind when he died. It should have been a happy pause and cause for a minor celebration of a tiny victory, but all I could see was the pile of mess still waiting to... Continue Reading →

The Moral High Ground is a Slippery Slope

The other day in a post I mentioned someone who recently demanded an explanation from me for my behaviour. They did more than that, of course. But that particular thing was the final straw for me. It was the umpteenth time they had done this, and I just thought to myself, I've had enough of... Continue Reading →

Waking Up With Questions

The past few days I have been waking up with a question. Usually in the moments between being asleep and dreaming, and being awake and getting up, I review my dream. My dreams often have answers for the questions I have asked the night before. Lately however the dream dissipates quickly leaving a blurry space... Continue Reading →

Death and Rebirthing Myself – The State of My Year

This is my answer to - Daily prompt: The State of My Year via The Daily Post At the beginning of January I discovered that my father had died. I had been estranged from him and the rest of my family for over ten years. In truth my father was always a stranger, so being... Continue Reading →

Are You My Mother? – Musings on the meaning of Mother

When I was a child something amazing happened - I discovered books. I can't remember the exact moment but I can recall the joy I felt of immersing myself in a story held within a simple object. At first it was through illustrations, beautiful images which came alive and which drew me into their universes.... Continue Reading →

I Think This Belongs To You

From the moment we are born, not our actual physical birth, but the moment our existence enters the conscious mind of others, the moment our birth mother realises that she is pregnant and our birth father realises that his sperm has created a being, people start giving us gifts. Those gifts are a part of... Continue Reading →

It’s My Dead Father’s Birthday Today!

What!?! Too callous for you? Being callous is a trait I learned from my undearly departed papa. Oh. I see. You think children should respect their parents no matter how the parent behaves towards the child, repeatedly, year after formative and beyond formative year. That's illogical. If someone slaps you or punches you in the... Continue Reading →

Internet Treasures: Hades and Persephone – What Really Happened by GlowRune78 This video - Hades and Persephone - What Really Happened by GlowRune78- which I absolutely love, hit a very deep chord with me when I saw it. Not just because I have an affinity with Pluto, due to having it natally in my first house, or because all of the transits of Pluto usually... Continue Reading →

Breaking the Glass Box

When I read I tend to do it from several different places within me. My eyes scan the words, my gut scans the feelings within the words, my ears listen to the voice and tone I give to the words, I monitor my body for physical and other reactions, while my mind processes the information... Continue Reading →

Sympathy for the Narcissist

Still from the film The Tin Drum (1979) based on the novel by Günter Grass I'm not planning on making any excuses for Narcissists and their behaviour. I just think that it is important to remember that although Narcissists often seem like they are not human, as not being human is something they are actively... Continue Reading →

A Perfect Moment

So, if you've been reading any of my posts about the legal mess in my life at the moment, you'll know that I fired my previous lawyers for being incompetent. They don't think they are, and maybe they aren't as far as their other clients are concerned, or as far as their idealised view of... Continue Reading →

A Story of Uranus Transiting the Eighth House

Sometimes I think astrology is bullshit. Sometimes it is. And sometimes it is so incredibly spot on that I stare at it open-mouthed wondering how on earth it knows what it knows. That's what I'm doing right now. If you have been following astrology recently, you may have spotted that astrologers everywhere are astro-buzzing about... Continue Reading →

The Anger Games

I've written about my anger before. In fact my anger fuels a lot of my posts. I have a lifetime supply of suppressed anger within me. Since I was first able to feel the emotion, it has been denied expression. This denial of expression caused more anger. More anger equals more inner resources channeled towards... Continue Reading →

La Dolce Vita? Think Twice!

Ah! Italia! La Dolce Vita! Federico Fellini! Anita Ekberg in the fountain! I have met Anita, she was a friend of the family. La Famiglia! I have also met Federico… he was a bit of a persona non grata because a certain aspiring actress, also know as that histrionic narcissist who is my mother, refused... Continue Reading →

Narcissism is the Game, and You’re It

It always makes me chuckle, a slightly sad and tired chuckle, when I read certain things. In recent years Narcissism has become big news. For psychologists, pop psychologists, bloggers, and the media. That's the way of the world, something catches our attention and starts to trend, and off we go. Overexposure ensues, we get bored... Continue Reading →

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