Why Do People Complain?

I have to confess that when other people start complaining I tend to make a hasty exit if I can. If I can't make an exit and have to stick around I'll space out and play a - let's analyse what this person is really saying or doing by saying - game, which can be... Continue Reading →

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How Do You Know if Someone is a Narcissist or Not?

Someone recently asked me to assist them with a problem. They were concerned that a person they knew might be a narcissist, however they were also concerned that perhaps they were the one being narcissistic, and that their narcissism was seeing this person as a narcissist. They had one of those moments of wondering if... Continue Reading →

Saving it for a Brainy Day…

Are you a thinker? Everyone is, we all think therefore we are all thinkers. So that question is easy to answer. Where things gets complicated is when we try to determine what type of thinker we are, as there are many options and sometimes we fall between the cracks of different options and then we... Continue Reading →

Testing Your Personality

We test our personality all the time. Even when we’re asleep…? Okay, maybe not all the time. Then again, maybe sleep is a personality test. . . . . Sleep is definitely a personality test when we think about it, talk about it, fight it, worry about not getting enough of it or too much... Continue Reading →

Surviving the Narcissistic Parent: ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists)

A superb account of what it is like to be the child of a narcissistic mother, which also applies to a narcissistic father.

We need to inform ourselves – whether we are ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists), their partners, spouses, friends or otherwise, or whether we are in a relationship with a narcissist, have children with them, or are affected by them in any other way.

The more we understand them and how they affect us, the more we can understand how to heal, undo what they have done, find a way to be free from their programming, training, influence and control.

By finding out what is ‘wrong’ we can find out what is ‘right’, with us, with others.

By sharing we help ourselves and we help others help themselves too.

Thank you for sharing.

The Invisible Scar

narcissistic-mothers-smApril is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. At The Invisible Scar, we are focusing on emotional child abuse, such as the various types, how to help emotionally abused children,  resources for healing, adult survivors of emotional child abuse, and the special case of narcissism.

Adult children of narcissistic parents (ACoNs) know a special type of emotional abuse in being raised by narcissists. (Biological mothers, stepmothers, biological fathers, and stepfathers can be N parents.) 

Before we discuss the special case of narcissism, please note that not every emotionally abusive parent has the narcissistic personality disorder. In some circumstances, an emotionally abusive parent who is not a narcissist can change and improve his or her parenting.  The same is not true for the narcissistic parent, however. Every narcissistic parent is an emotional abuser.

A narcissist is a person who has the narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one…

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When Narcissists Claim to be Victims of Narcissists – Who is the Narcissist?

If you’re searching online for information about Narcissists, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Narcissistic parents, being a Child of Narcissists, an ACoN - Adult Child of Narcissists, being in a relationship with a Narcissist, being a Victim of a Narcissist, How to Play the Narcissist’s Game and maybe win, How to Piss a Narcissist Off... Continue Reading →

Who Am I? Who am I really? Do I have to choose between them?

The very talented Christopher Malone, creator extraordinaire of The Infinite Abyss(es), wrote a post - Snark Tuesdays - as an intro to his weekly Syracuse New Times post - What's Your (Stereo)Type? - which is a cracking read and a journey into the life of someone who is an observer of himself and his own life... Continue Reading →

The Ideal Lover

A quick intro and then a story about a dream lover. Do you remember the first time you dreamed about your ideal lover? Can you still picture him or her? Is that first ideal lover the same as the one you dream about today? Even if you’re warmly ensconced in a relationship with a lover,... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #8 – Relationship Rules for Narcissists

As a Narcissist you approach life strategically. You're very focused on being the best, popular, superior, successful and powerful. You need to keep your mind, heart, soul and body pure. You are special, brilliant, a genius, extraordinary, immortal, super human, and you need to be treated with the respect which you deserve, which is your... Continue Reading →

The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #3 – In a Narcissistic Society, the Narcissist is King or Queen!

The Society in which we live has already done most of the groundwork preparing people for you to swoop into their lives, sweep them off their feet, put them in a gilded cage and use them to bolster your ego. Society will also help you to keep them trapped. They’re either with us or against... Continue Reading →

A Shot of Fear Fuelled Adrenalin

Fear by Maria Yakunchikova This time of year the Halloween marketing campaign is in full bombardment mode. The local shops are peddling candy, costumes and pumpkins. The television is churning out the usual suspects film wise. The film channels such as Netflix and Lovefilm have upped their scary movie quotient. And your favourite websites and... Continue Reading →

How To Play The Narcissist’s Game

*I'm adding a disclaimer of sorts to this post due to a few people who seem to think that I'm claiming to be an expert. When I use the word - expert - to refer to myself, I'm being sardonic towards myself. I use humour to deal with my pain. I am not an expert,... Continue Reading →

There’s a Flip Side to Everything

There is a flip side to everything. I say this a lot, to myself and to others. At its basis is the Yin Yang symbol. Black and white together forming a whole. The black has a drop of white in it and the white has a drop of black in it. I apply this to... Continue Reading →

How to Talk to a Sad Melancholy Introvert

I have a question, which I will eventually get around to answering for myself later by doing some research - Can you nominate blogs for a blog award without first receiving an award nomination? I have had a couple of those, but that was before and this is now... Now I would like to nominate... Continue Reading →

Internet Treasures: The Insight Game

Do you enjoy exploring yourself? Who you are, what makes you tick, why you do what you do, think what you think, feel what you feel, and learning new ways of looking at yourself. Do you like taking personality tests (and arguing with every question if you're similar to me)? Do you like to 'type'... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mess with the System

Once upon a time I read in some self-help book that starting an affirmation with the word 'Don't' would actually result in the opposite of the desired effect. Apparently the mind does not recognise the instruction 'Don't' and hears it as 'Do'. That's all I recall about that book, no idea if the rest of... Continue Reading →

Big Brother You Are Being Watched

No conspiracy theories here, or Orwellian musings, just some thoughts about a television program which I very lackadaisically watch from time to time. I watched the first UK version of the Big Brother series with rapt attention. It was different. I like different. I even considered applying for it, but didn't follow through on the... Continue Reading →

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