How do people experience you? Do they find you to be aggressive? Do they think you're assertive? Do they mistake your assertiveness for aggressiveness? This post is inspired by Sparksfromacombustiblemind: Assertive or Aggressive? which was inspired by Mentalhealthathome: What is... Assertiveness please click over to those posts as they are very interesting, informative, and I... Continue Reading →
I often see bloggers doing - Open Posts (where the blogger shares whatever and then others can share whatever in the comments) - and/or - Share Your World Posts (where the blogger shares their world and then others share their world in the comments which may or may not be connected to what the blogger... Continue Reading →
My wife and I had an argument. It took me some time to realize that I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. I know I’m a man and that is typically how we define normal, but his was different. I mean, I understood the words, even in proper order, but I couldn’t […]... Continue Reading →
My father died a few years ago... which was a bit of a surprise because he had been so convinced of his immortality that I'd begun to suspect he might be right about it, and wasn't as mad as he often sounded and seemed. While it was improbable, some improbable things do happen (the world... Continue Reading →
There are times when I secretly hope that some technical glitch will wipe out my blog. I can explain that hidden hope best by using astrology - I have Pluto in the 1st (and transiting Pluto is conjunct my Sun) and (so I'm a bit of a psycho - it's retrograde so that psycho is... Continue Reading →
Many years ago, while searching for something to read in a secondhand bookshop, I came across - Going Mad to Stay Sane - The Psychology of Self-Destructive Behaviour by Andy White - in the psychology, mythology, alternative healing and self-help section (which in this bookstore was in a small alcove separated from the rest of... Continue Reading →
What is a Narcissist? What do you think a narcissist is? Do you know a narcissist? Are you sure that the person who you think is a narcissist is actually a narcissist? What is your definition of a narcissist which you use to classify whether someone is or is not a narcissist? According to a... Continue Reading →
"The pain, the despair, the craziness of self-destructive behaviour is as loud a statement as it is possible to make that our soul is in exile and under attack." - Andy White . Isn't it typical. The moment you want something, it plays hard to get. However if you don't want it, it's there for... Continue Reading →
. If you're my age or thereabouts... - which in trending terms would be the sort of person who wears flats to The Cannes Film Festival (I have no idea what the real story behind the snowballing media 'real story' version is, it's hard to believe anything these days, but this has stirred up so... Continue Reading →
Someone recently asked me to assist them with a problem. They were concerned that a person they knew might be a narcissist, however they were also concerned that perhaps they were the one being narcissistic, and that their narcissism was seeing this person as a narcissist. They had one of those moments of wondering if... Continue Reading →
sign language . . How many languages do you speak? How many languages do you understand? Those two questions may appear to be asking the same thing, but they are not. The difference between them may be subtle, but it makes a big difference to communication. It is similar to the difference between… How are... Continue Reading →
How do you use people? Does that question bother you, make you uncomfortable, make you want to perhaps vent in my general direction and say something along the lines of - I never use people! . . Having trouble reading the smallprint? Find this article and others like it in Wired magazine (this is... Continue Reading →
I am not special. When I was a child, the message from my parents was clear: Take care of yourself. We don’t want to do it. You are not special. And so I became an adult very early in life, full of determination to be self-sufficient and self-determined. At forty-five, a disordered person took an... Continue Reading →
"So here I am, just another a narcissistic blogger looking for ego-boosting hits, and happy to get some by writing a controversial piece that suggests that you, dear reader might be a narcissist among narcissists, in an increasingly narcissistic culture." - Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D . The quote above comes from an excellent article - A... Continue Reading →
. . There's a man outside my house using a chainsaw to trim a hedge. This has been going on intermittently for a couple of hours. My property is part of a bigger property, neither of which are mine so I don't really get a say in what happens around here. My landlord is a... Continue Reading →
A well thought out and thoughtful post! . Please read it carefully, especially if you relate to the scapegoat role assigned to you by your narcissist parent, before you react. The subject of being a child of a narcissist (ACoN) can trigger our pain and we need to pause before reacting to make sure we... Continue Reading →
A wonderfully thought-provoking post from a fascinating blog to explore.
I’ve spent part of my life living in crowded cities and have come across people like the woman on the bus. What I usually think when I see someone deviating from the ‘normal’ behaviour of those around them is something akin to – I wish I could do that.
The pressure of being ‘normal’ can feel like a straightjacket.
There have been times when I’ve felt like one of those people, when my presence bothers others so much that all they want to do is either get rid of me or get away from me. Pretend I don’t exist so they can carry on as usual, have things return to ‘normal’.
Sometimes I look at those who are considered ‘crazy’ by those who think they are ‘normal’ and it occurs to me that perception is experiencing an optical illusion. The world is upside down but the brain has adjusted and made it seem as though it is the right way up.
I have Dyslexia, which is considered a learning disability. For me having Dyslexia is ‘normal’. The most common problem which I have with it isn’t within the disorder itself but with the attitude of those who don’t have it, don’t understand it and really don’t care to learn more about it. So who really has the learning disability?
I love this post and have had many intriguing and insightful discussions with myself (I converse with myself all the time) and with other people about it and about the thoughts it provokes.
Life and being human is a learning through living experience.
I remember taking a bus to London Bridge when, after a few stops, a woman got on who seemed to move with a subtle but twitchy disregard for her surroundings. She found herself a seat among the Saturday shoppers and divided her time between looking out the window and responding to invisible companions, occasionally shouting at her unseen persecutors.
By East Street, the bus was empty.
You’ve probably encountered fellow travellers who are strikingly out of the ordinary, sometimes quite distressed, scattered among the urban landscape where they seem to have a social forcefield around them that makes crowds part in their presence.
If you’ve ever worked in a hospital or support service for people with psychological or neurological difficulties, you’ve probably met lots of people who are markedly out of step with the mundane rules of social engagement.
They seem to talk too loud, or too fast, or too…
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I am a child of Narcissists.According to me..Sometimes listening to others,is not a good thing..Being a child of Narcissists,According to experts is not a good thing to be.According to other children of Narcissists, this is not a good thing to be.According to me this is not a good thing to be....But how did I come... Continue Reading →
∇ “For men are held above their fellows by the gossamer of reputation, which is so soft and fragile a breath can blow it away.” - Iain Pears Δ With one word, One word used a certain way, A certain way to denote a criticism, A fault, A flaw, An imperfection, A lost ideal,... Continue Reading →
"Don't kill my shoes! Please don't kill my shoes!" Those were the words I shouted at the salesman in the shoe shop who had just informed me that my shoes... the ones which I had been wearing, which had been on my feet when I walked into the store, and which I'd only taken off... Continue Reading →
A superb account of what it is like to be the child of a narcissistic mother, which also applies to a narcissistic father.
We need to inform ourselves – whether we are ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists), their partners, spouses, friends or otherwise, or whether we are in a relationship with a narcissist, have children with them, or are affected by them in any other way.
The more we understand them and how they affect us, the more we can understand how to heal, undo what they have done, find a way to be free from their programming, training, influence and control.
By finding out what is ‘wrong’ we can find out what is ‘right’, with us, with others.
By sharing we help ourselves and we help others help themselves too.
Thank you for sharing.
April is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. At The Invisible Scar, we are focusing on emotional child abuse, such as the various types, how to help emotionally abused children, resources for healing, adult survivors of emotional child abuse, and the special case of narcissism.
Adult children of narcissistic parents (ACoNs) know a special type of emotional abuse in being raised by narcissists. (Biological mothers, stepmothers, biological fathers, and stepfathers can be N parents.)
Before we discuss the special case of narcissism, please note that not every emotionally abusive parent has the narcissistic personality disorder. In some circumstances, an emotionally abusive parent who is not a narcissist can change and improve his or her parenting. The same is not true for the narcissistic parent, however. Every narcissistic parent is an emotional abuser.
A narcissist is a person who has the narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one…
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If you’re searching online for information about Narcissists, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Narcissistic parents, being a Child of Narcissists, an ACoN - Adult Child of Narcissists, being in a relationship with a Narcissist, being a Victim of a Narcissist, How to Play the Narcissist’s Game and maybe win, How to Piss a Narcissist Off... Continue Reading →
Someone recently commented on an old post of mine which was titled - Please Disturb Me - Mars transits the 12th house - and added as a parting shot after getting annoyed with me for not being who they had decided I was and should be for them - You DID ask to be disturbed... Continue Reading →
A quick intro and then a story about a dream lover. Do you remember the first time you dreamed about your ideal lover? Can you still picture him or her? Is that first ideal lover the same as the one you dream about today? Even if you’re warmly ensconced in a relationship with a lover,... Continue Reading →
by Meenasapra via ToonDoo I tend to take what experts say with a pinch of skepticism. I didn’t always. I used to buy into the illusion that they know what they are talking about and that’s that. Take them at face value and perhaps they do know everything there is to know about their chosen... Continue Reading →
Mercury is about to go retrograde. Which means it looks like it’s going backwards but it’s not actually going backwards but it is for astrology. It’s an optical illusion of the mind. Before it goes retrograde it goes through a period of about a week of passing through a shadow phase where misunderstandings, miscommunications, and... Continue Reading →
Scale of Life by visio-art (Aleksei Kostjuk) It’s one of those days when the weather is unsure of itself. Is it overcast with a chance of rain or overcast with a chance of Sun? Yet again the weather reflects how I feel or vice versa. I am partially unsure of my mood, overall there is... Continue Reading →
Vividly descriptive and very insightful, a masterpiece of observation of human nature!
Let’s pretend you are stuck in a room of about a dozen people and they are all dancing. They are laughing, smiling, having a great time and they are all dancing. Everyone is dancing except for you and that’s because you hate dancing.
You hate everything about dancing.
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Enlightenment by Mark StiversWhen I was a child, not sure what age this started, I had this habit of stopping in the middle of whatever I was doing, walking over to a window and staring out if I was inside or staring at the sky or the horizon if I was outside and then I... Continue Reading →
. Here’s a secret for the ears and eyes of Female (and certain males of the species) Narcissists only - No one is as empathic as you are! If you are a female Narcissist, your empathic skills border on the supernatural. Telepathic empathic. Clairaudient and all the clairs which such psychic abilities endow you with... Continue Reading →