Reblog: Modern Friendships Are Leaving Us Dead Inside — MaraWaka

[ Awesome in-depth and thought-provoking post from Mara, exploring the meaning of friendship in our modern internetian times. The issue of people viewing friendships from a mercenary and self-serving perspective isn't a new one for me. I grew up in an environment populated by people who thought and acted this way (long before the internet...

Shrink To Fit

As I write this post there is a thunderstorm with torrential rain but without lightning (at least none that I've noticed) passing overhead... which has yet to let up... it has a lot to say and might not go away until it is heard, not just heard but also understood... it may be here all...

What is Intelligence?

What is intelligence? Is that a stupid question? . . If you spend enough time surfing online, you'll come across lots of references to the intelligent and the stupid, often in a versus scenario which evokes Mortal Kombat, Soul Calibur, Celebrity Death Match or some other surreal version of the human tendency to make everything...

I’m Not Expecting You to LIKE Me…

When I first started interacting online using Social Media... I was terrified. I was terrified mainly because... I'm a natural lurker. . . Lurkers don't like to expose themselves in any way, shape or form. Yes, we know someone is always watching... we hope we're too insignificant to be worth being watched too closely by...

Alias, rank and serial number…?

. “People who deny the existence of dragons are often eaten by dragons. From within.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin . Do a search for 'Ursula' online and you'll either get results for the name itself and what it means - She is a Bear - or a respected fierce female author with that first...

The Wisdom of Crocodiles

“It Is The Wisdom Of Crocodiles, That Shed Tears When They Would Devour” ― Francis Bacon . . Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? . To be as honest as a human being is ever going to be, and probably not even that, considering... . no idea if that actually means...

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt

. . “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” ― Kurt Vonnegut . . I am not... repeat NOT... a social human animal. I absolutely love being alone. The idea of being shipwrecked on a desert island sounds blissful (I couldn't relate one bit to Tom Hanks in that shipwreckee talking to a football film), sure...

WANTED – Adult Children of Narcissists for a survey

. PLEASE NOTE - This survey has been re-opened and is available throughout the month of June 2015 for those wanting to participate in it. You can find it here - Parental Communication Measurement Study . What do you tell other people about your childhood? Do you edit it, rewrite it, make it sound normal...

Toxic Niceness

I really should have called this post something along the lines of – How to Miss Spotting a Covert Narcissist.
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However I wrote this a long while ago in blog time, before Upturned Soul, before the past became the present in the way that it did and I had to re-learn to deal with my own private narcissists.
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It was inspired by an experience which was one of the first of a few that stirred me out of a lull and forced me to figure things out.
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What I didn’t mention in this post, because I was a little less bold then in my writing and sharing, and a little more prone to blurring the details (and old habit learned from being the child of narcissists) was that this incident all happened online, when I was a newbie to the online social media communities. Green got a bit less green quite quickly.
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Someone recently suggested that I should write a bit more about online narcissists. I replied that I would not being doing that beyond what I’ve already done about it because that’s a can of worms I would rather avoid opening.
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I don’t always listen to myself, I’ve learned to not listen to others over the course of a lifetime. Or at least to listen with due consideration. So, we’ll see.
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This is one of my favourite posts, it isn’t my best, it’s just one of those which reminds me… of things which I need to be reminded.
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Narcissists, particularly the covert ones, always come bearing gifts and often look sparkly, lovely and represent an ideal…

An Upturned Soul

So many people move through life pretending to be who they are not, being nice on the surface when they are seething with rage inside, being mean when they have a heart of gold, being cold when they yearn for the warmth of others, being overly helpful when they actually want you to fail, being happy when they are inwardly crying, and being hostile when they are actually terrified. Sometimes people are not aware that they are pretending, sometimes they actually believe they are who they are pretending to be, and sometimes they are doing it with their eyes wide open with deliberate intent.

We all fake it a little bit every now and then, either because we want to fit in when we feel that we don’t, or we’re in a situation which makes us uncomfortable and we disguise our true selves for a while, whilst we figure things…

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Who Do You Think You’re Talking To?

It just occurred to me that my most recent posts concerning January’s two-faced-ed-ness (is that a word… it is for now) could be interpreted in a different way from how I perceived them when I wrote them. . “I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” ― Lewis Carroll ....

Tuesday Tales, Trends and Travels Online

On Twitter, Tuesdays used to be known as Truthful Tuesday, where you confessed something via tweet. I have no idea if it is still a Twitter trend because I rarely tweet. Nothing to do with Twitter, I still love the format, I just... have been too distracted to participate. Reminds me of what my teachers...

The Mimic

After a few episodes of Elementary, watched back-to-back, and the way that I express myself will become more and more Sherlockian. My speech and mannerisms will reflect that of the character, and I will shift into intellectual mode. If someone were to ask me what I wanted for Christmas while I am under the influence...

The Accidental Reader

. .Apparently I should write a book rather than write posts for my blog, because someone might accidentally read my posts whereas no one will read my book. Or at least that is how I interpreted what was said to me in a comment this morning: “Stop writing up things like this on a blog;...

The Art of Following a Blog

An excellent post with some great advice for bloggers, and all those navigating the ocean of social media.
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The ‘Follow’ is as much of a floating minefield as the ‘Like’.
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Tips on blogging are in some ways similar to tips on how to live life, if you read too much about it, you may never actually do it because sometimes the myriad pieces of advice conflict with each other causing confusion, like asking a cartoon character “Which way did he go?” and the character replies “He went that-a-way!” and simultaneously points in opposite directions.
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Sometimes you just have to take the plunge and learn from it… posts like this one help to give you an idea of what you may find when you take the plunge, and gives you options from which to choose… the choice still belongs to you as does the adventure which ensues after the plunge.
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One of the best tips I was given for blogging was – Follow The Daily Post – and I am very glad that I took that plunge!
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ps. I experienced a glitch while trying to reblog this, so it may appear more than once… or not at all (in which case no one will read this ps or … ).

The Daily Post

Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, your blog: pitch a tent anywhere on the web, and the expectation is that people will quickly line up to give you a (virtual) high five in the form of a “follow.” I see it often enough in our own Community Pool posts here at The Daily Post: “Follow me and I’ll follow you back!”

It’s pretty clear what the followed blogger’s supposed to do: keep posting stuff that others enjoy reading. Be a gracious host. Ensure posts are readable. But what about the follower? Is there a job description for what happens after you click on a blog’s “Follow” button (or Follow Blog Widget)? Here’s some food for thought.

Don’t expect instant reciprocity

You shouldn’t take the plunge if you don’t want to read new content from the person whose blog you just followed.

When you follow a blog you’re making a light…

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Stirring up an ants’ nest

    “Entre Ce que je pense, Ce que je veux dire, Ce que je crois dire, Ce que je dis, Ce que vous avez envie d'entendre, Ce que vous croyez entendre, Ce que vous entendez, Ce que vous avez envie de comprendre, Ce que vous croyez comprendre, Ce que vous comprenez... il y a...

When someone steals your original idea and publishes it a hundred years before you were born

“Anticipatory plagiarism occurs when someone steals your original idea and publishes it a hundred years before you were born.” ― Robert K. Merton In an episode of Suits - She Knows | season 2, episode 1 - a TV series about corporate/business lawyers which is brilliantly written, directed and acted - a woman sued the...

Guidelines For Commenting on my Blog Posts

The other day I deleted a comment from a regular commenter. This commenter is usually respectful, insightful and gives good comment. I do not have a problem with them, I had a problem with that particular comment and the context of it. First it was directed at another commenter, and I am protective of those...

Who is the Narcissist? – This is a rant

. I get very passionate about certain things and the passion takes over. One of the things which sets my passion off is when victims of Narcissists victimise other victims of Narcissists not intentionally but through misunderstanding. Which in some ways makes it worse. It’s that road to hell paved with good intentions. If I...

Online Narcissists – Does the Blog you Follow belong to a Narcissist?

I came across this brilliant post - Online Narcissism: Writers with NPD by Thomas Swan - which explores Narcissistic Personality Disorder expressed in writing on a blog and gives ways to spot if the blog you follow belongs to someone with NPD.There are a plethora of online articles written about online Narcissists. This is a...

A Year Ago Today: A Mind Journey into Self Doubt

Used Material by nailone (Jakub Kujawa) As in the title of the stunning painting by Jakub Kujawa, this post is used material. I wrote this last December for my tumblr. I'm trying to recall what I was feeling then, what inspired these words. A dream apparently. I can just about remember having that one. But......

How To Piss Off A Narcissist without even Trying

I probably shouldn't post this post. That's why I'm doing it. A short while ago I posted this - A Very Human Enlightenment. By my own standards of post ratings for my own posts, it's okay but just okay. I could have done better, but... shrug. It's Christmas and my brain is on holiday. I'm...

Dear Person Whose Comments I Won’t Approve…

I suppose some would brand you a troll, a merchant of wind-up, an agent provocateur of the world of social media, and would advise me to ignore you and your comments. However you, just like every other human, has a right to express yourself, and has a right to receive attention for your self expression....

Why is it so Hard To Live and Let Live?

Last night I was having a conversation with a friend about Kate Moss and Playboy. We both agreed that Kate Moss is gorgeous, and we both thought her recent photoshoot for Playboy is stunning. What started the conversation was a random post on a social media site by someone who is a friend of my...

A Howl of Thank You to Deep Souldiver

Thank you very much Deep Souldiver of Deep Souldiving for the Bundles of Joy which you so generously offered to me and which I accepted with gratitude and mirth. You have a beautiful blog created by a beautiful soul, and you share it freely and openly. I am honoured that you have chosen to share...

A Very Inspiring Blogger – Love Thy Introvert – For the introverts…and the extroverts that love us!

Where is the beginning? What leads you to find a blog and makes you decide to follow it? The other day I read a post - How to Talk to a Sad Melancholy Introvert -  which inspired a deep and long conversation within me that shifted my perspective. If you don't know me that won't...

That’s Not My Name!

"Find your name, And buried treasure." - Neil Gaiman Yes, is my answer to the Daily Prompt's question - Do you know the meaning of your name, and why your parents chose it? My mother told me, repeatedly, the story of how I got my name. I think I was supposed to be grateful to...

A Very Biased View on Violence, Video Games and Being Human

I read a comment the other day which was attached to an article about a murder. The impression I had of the person commenting was that they thought they were very intelligent, savvy about the world and its workings. There was a hint of tired superiority in their attitude, as though they tutted so much...

How To Offend and Upset in One Easy Step

I worry sometimes about offending and upsetting people. I always have. In fact this worry has at times been the bane of my life. I used to be very concerned about not bothering people, to the point where I would make my life very complicated for myself by going out of my way not to...

Don’t Mess With Me During Mars versus Pluto Weekend

So... I got this message in my inbox on my tumblr: "Good Afternoon! I think what you are doing is great, however purely creating a blog on your sun sign will make Pluto in Capricorn very angry. If you are a serious astrologer, I beg you to find your rising, your north node, your ascendant,...

Heart and Mind

Last night I had one of those moments when your heart expands and you feel in love with the world and everything and everyone in it. I had a sudden full body realisation of something I know yet don't always feel. I saw everything that I have been doing and have done since I first...