Who is the Narcissist? – This is a rant

Biting your tongue

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I get very passionate about certain things and the passion takes over. One of the things which sets my passion off is when victims of Narcissists victimise other victims of Narcissists not intentionally but through misunderstanding. Which in some ways makes it worse. It’s that road to hell paved with good intentions.

If I hear one more victim of a Narcissist state that those with NPD are born evil… I’ve seriously considered deleting my blogs and going offline permanently. That’s my passion getting in a tizzy and demanding I act. I feel myself becoming an Activist and that’s a road to hell too. I wrote about NPD because it was part of my personal experience and self-therapy. I might stop writing about it entirely.

What stirs my passion is seeing victims of Narcissists looking for a formula outside of themselves. Want to know why you were in a relationship with a Narcissist? Look within! Looking within will show you good and bad, the good will inspire you and heal you, so will the bad, but you have to know how to approach the bad so you don’t use it to hurt yourself and others. It’s not the kind of bad you may fear it is, it’s misunderstood.

Fact: Narcissists always blame their victims for what the Narcissist does to them and accuses their victim of being the victimiser – thus the Narcissist.

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Narcissism 101

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Fact: Narcissists also think they’re victims of Narcissists, and also write about their relationship with a Narcissist and post it publicly.

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playing the victim

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Question: Who is the real Narcissist?

Doesn’t almost every victim of a Narcissist wonder if they are the Narcissist? Especially if the Narcissist convinces them that the problem is them.

Question: So the Narcissist who writes about being the victim of a Narcissist, are they the victim of a real Narcissist or are they doing what everyone who has ever been in a relationship with a Narcissist knows they do – which is blame the victim?

Not only blame the victim, but do it in a way that everyone who hears the story and gets sucked into the drama takes their side and also blames the victim. Worse than that they help the Narcissist victimise the victim by giving the Narcissist support and encouragement and admiration for being so strong and brave and thus feeding the Narcissist the precious Narcissistic Supply which fuels their abuse of their victim and empowers them and enables them to victimise an entire willing audience. And disseminates erroneous information which helps other Narcissists justify their abuse of their victim and continue to play the victim of their victim.

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manipulator

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My mind boggles!!! Less at the typical paradox which Narcissists create but at the unwillingness to really see what is going on of those who are not Narcissists. It’s as though the lies Narcissists tell are the truth people want to hear, thus the truth becomes a lie to be buried under lies disguised as truth.

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collective delusion

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For those of us who are children of Narcissists that hits home like a scalpel slicing our hearts out. Because society did that to us those times we tried to speak out about the abuse we suffered in silence as children, we wanted help and what we received was unhelpful, and later as adults who knew that speaking out was pointless because everyone believes the Narcissist’s version of reality, because they’re so charming, know how to appear in a way which pleases and flatters people.

And now there are people disseminating the ‘fact’ that if you’re a child of Narcissists you’re genetically predisposed to having NPD. You’re born bad/evil. And the disseminators of this ‘fact’ are doing so for the good of all those who like them have suffered in a relationship with a Narcissist. They’ve found the magic formula which creates Narcissists! And they don’t ask who exactly sold them the magic formula – was it a Narcissist perhaps who had ‘imperfect’ ‘defective’ offspring, a child who challenged their superiority, their control and censorship, who did not make them look good? Was it a Narcissist doing what Narcissists do?

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two sides of the story

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And once again the child of the Narcissist is driven into a prison of silence because the Narcissist has convinced society to help them do it. They’re the hero and expert. The believed and admired one. We’re the problem that needs to be shamed, shunned and annihilated, forced to pretend to be happy or be punished for it.

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Narcissist parent

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I’m pissed off, can you tell?

But because I don’t have NPD – oh, wait, I wouldn’t know if I had it, would I… why don’t we ask my Narcissist parents what they think, I’m sure they are experts on such things –  I’m not going to do what a Narcissist would do when they’re pissed off, now am I – I, child of two Narcissists, genetically predisposed to be a bad seed – I’m thinking of erasing myself, self-destructing and wiping my internet existence out of existence!

And the Narcissist wins again thanks to popular support!

And I know from experience that there’s no point in exposing a Narcissist, a Narcissist writing about NPD and how they’re a victim of it and now an expert of it (which they are but not in the way they’re selling it) because I’ll become the bad guy and all the willing supporters of the Narcissist, those who have lived the horrors and trauma and subsequent PTSD of being in a relationship with a Narcissist, who still may be caught in the pattern of unwittingly falling for Narcissists and their ways, will attack me (worst case scenario based on experience) for exposing someone they believe is perfect, and it’ll backfire on me and give the Narcissist just what they want – a drama they can use for furthering their cause of being an immortal legend loved by all – and I’ll have to skulk off to that dark hole from which I emerged, retreat into my prison of silence.

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Bullshit

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Perhaps I’m just talking about myself, to myself again… you decide.

I’m done writing about Narcissists. They have taken over my life once again… and once again I have let them do it!

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fb+bitchin

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Meltdown over. And out!

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For more on Narcissists:

Narcissism and the Fruit of Suffering

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

The Narcissistic Continuum

NarcRaiders

Narcissism – Living Without Feelings

Energy Theft: Toxic Forms of Shame and Guilt

Narcissists Who Cry: The Other Side of the Ego

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