Reblog: Modern Friendships Are Leaving Us Dead Inside — MaraWaka

[ Awesome in-depth and thought-provoking post from Mara, exploring the meaning of friendship in our modern internetian times.

The issue of people viewing friendships from a mercenary and self-serving perspective isn’t a new one for me. I grew up in an environment populated by people who thought and acted this way (long before the internet was created). My father often said when imparting ‘life wisdoms’ something along the lines of – You never know when someone might be useful – meaning that he viewed everyone as a potential tool to be called upon and used when needed. He did this with me and with others, but to be fair to him, others around him did this with him too from very early on in his life. Every time he was used by others to advance themselves, it confirmed his cynical view and made him more at ease with using others.

If everyone is doing it… then do you join in and benefit from a mutual understanding that everyone is using everyone else, or do you fight it and find yourself cast out and labeled as someone best avoided because… who do you think you are making others feel bad about themselves for joining in like that!?!

I’ve done both – joining in and trying to fight it. Neither option really solved the problem.

I think that our modern times and especially the age of the internet, aren’t really creating new problems per se as much as they are making us all painfully aware of old problems which we haven’t yet figured out how to solve. The internet takes human behaviour and augments it, shoves it in our faces, at impossible to ignore levels. And in some ways this is a blessing rather than a curse because I think we’re all, like Mara, in a place where we’re ready to figure things out in our own individual ways.

Maybe real friendship starts with giving to ourselves what we’re seeking for in others, and then passing that on in quirky, messy, sort of solved yet still unsolved ways.

Thank you Mara for sharing yourself and your ideas!]

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In the social media age, the definition of “friend” has changed dramatically. Now a person can have a thousand, a million, maybe even a billion friends. Nevertheless, we are lonelier than ever.

via Modern Friendships Are Leaving Us Dead Inside — MaraWaka