Sometimes I Climb the Walls and Lie on the Ceiling
I'm feeling a bit brain dead at the moment. The weather inside is blah with a case of the blerghs about feeling blah. But it's nothing terminal, or serious, as far as I know, but I don't know anything right now. I've been here before, and it goes the same as it comes. . For... Continue Reading →
This is also why people might want to learn to perhaps unlearn statistics... . This post is for the person who keeps asking me this question. How aware is a Narcissist of being a Narcissist ? Bottom line is - I don't know... . "Everything was empty, dead, mute, Fallen abandoned, and decayed: Inconceivably alien,... Continue Reading →
“The world spins. We stumble on. It is enough.” ― Colum McCann . With the sort of winds which we sometimes get around this part of the world... they could uproot a tree and blow that projectile onto you, like a hammer hitting a nail on the head, missing the thumb. However... That's not exactly... Continue Reading →
To be honest... rather than dishonest, I suppose... even I, a Capricorn woman, am never sure if I like someone or not. Like... is so oatmeal. . . It takes time, interest, effort, and things like that to get to know someone. Sometimes those you dislike during that phase known as the first impression, turn... Continue Reading →
When I was about 13 years old, my mother and I took a trip to New York City. The reason for the trip was so that my mother could check up on my father’s business partners in one of his latest ventures. He had a habit, according to my mother, of getting involved with dubious... Continue Reading →
Bubbles are fun to pop, especially when it's bubble wrap bubbles. . . Bubblegum bubbles are a joy to pop too, however that sweet breath-filled substance has a way of bringing sticky karmic retribution especially if you happen to be an expert giant bubble blower. In your face, all over it, like a scream frozen... Continue Reading →
. . If you think I'm going to do what you suggested that I do... by dawn's early light... You're not so lucid dreaming. You've been staring at the rising Sun and are seeing blind spots without realising what they are. You're high on being an early bird who thinks that the worm you've found... Continue Reading →
. The other day, while doing that thing known as waiting... in line... for something to happen. Which in this case was being stuck in a queue at the checkout of a supermarket, eyes wandering, endeavouring to entertain boredom to keep boredom from turning into rebellion and creating chaos (or simply stopping me from... Continue Reading →
A great post about growing up and living with narcissists from an excellent blog and blogger!
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Narcissistic abuse can be in your face obvious, but more often than not it is so subtle that it is barely there, and yet it is always there 24/365. Drip, drip, drip, wearing away even the toughest of substances.
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From the outside, you are lucky to be a part of such a family. And you help to maintain this myth until you believe it too…
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but…
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On the inside you are slowly being worn away… until all that is left of you is a big Cheshire Cat grin, still pretending.
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This is a beautifully evocative insight into life with narcissists, and also a view of how to slowly emerge from it. It takes time, a gentle rebuilding after years of degradation which seemed normal and took a while to realise it wasn’t.
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Thank you for sharing!
Once while swimming laps several years ago, I was struck by this thought: That if I were to be happy, I’d be betraying my mother and sister. So long had I drunk the Koolaid that I thought this.
My sister’s narcissism was more overt, actually saying things like, “If you really cared about me, you’d know exactly what type of gift to buy me.” Or, “You’re not a loyal enough family member,” without actually defining what loyal meant.
For much of my life, I’d focused my anger onto my sister because her behavior was more obvious. She produced feelings in me of despair, fear, anger and guilt.
My mother’s scourge was so much more subtle and therefore insidious. I would even feel inclined to apologize to my sister for blocking her out as much as I did, except that I finally realized how much in collusion they were. I fear her…
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Ask me a question such as this one - If you could wake up tomorrow and be fluent in any language you don’t currently speak, which would it be? - and the answer I'm most likely to give is one which won't make sense in any language... Unless you speak Tangential Thinking. Then it might... Continue Reading →
. . Do you ever observe all the permutations which your mind makes of that which your eyes see? In a split second it can see... The sun after a rainstorm playing with a puddle, a sea of stars, diamonds on water, reflections of light chasing away the dark, the cold absorbing warmth. Or the... Continue Reading →
“If you have seen a man misbehave once, do not from thence conclude him a fool; if you find he has been in a mistake in one particular, do not at once conclude him void of understanding : by that way of judging, you can entertain a favourable opinion of no man upon earth, nor... Continue Reading →
Someone recently asked me to assist them with a problem. They were concerned that a person they knew might be a narcissist, however they were also concerned that perhaps they were the one being narcissistic, and that their narcissism was seeing this person as a narcissist. They had one of those moments of wondering if... Continue Reading →
Last week I watched a TV series which I'd never heard of and which has seemingly been cancelled - Chasing Shadows - with Reece Shearsmith (of The League of Gentlemen and Psychoville). In it he plays a police detective, who may have Aspergers (similar to that other police detective with Aspergers, Saga Noren, from The... Continue Reading →
I couldn't get to sleep last night, and once I did I had one of those dreams which explains everything to you about you, and those relationships which affect who you are, past and present, and possibly also into the future. I woke up very late, around noon (OMG!?! - courtesy of how my cat... Continue Reading →
. I called this photograph which I chose for the DP photo challenge: Blur - The Shredded Man. This photo came about because I was feeding a fire with loose packaging material and noticed that there was a drawing on one of the pieces of shredded paper. My camera was close at hand and I... Continue Reading →
One of the things which is often missing from stories about loners, is how hard it is to actually remain a loner when you’re in a public space. . Poorly Drawn Lines . Sit on a park bench, and, at some point, someone is going to approach you and start a conversation. Saunter through a... Continue Reading →
The eyes are the windows of the soul. What does that mean? I used to think it meant that if you wanted to know about who someone really was, you had to look into their eyes. If you plucked someone's eyes out and look at them under a microscope, would they really tell you anything... Continue Reading →
. Here comes the disclaimer part of the conversation... I'm not a believer in anything much, I'm more of a maybe-er, as in this may be but maybe it may not be, and there are many maybe's and may be's or not in between. The tarot. I don't believe a word the tarot tells me,... Continue Reading →
