Compare, Contrast and Contradict

    “I love reading another reader’s list of favorites. Even when I find I do not share their tastes or predilections, I am provoked to compare, contrast, and contradict. It is a most healthy exercise, and one altogether fruitful.” ― T.S. Eliot     Contrasts are an intrinsic part of life. Without darkness we... Continue Reading →

Please Do Not Sit on the Chair

  The sitting room in this photograph is full of options... at least where sitting down is concerned. It is indeed a room for sitting. Yet. Rather than choose a seat... as there was no one else around I could sit anywhere I pleased... and enjoy the luxury of such a rather sumptuous place, what... Continue Reading →

Talking about Narcissists… and Woundology

  When I first started blogging about my experience of Narcissists, I was hesitant in what I said. There were many reasons for my hesitancy, all of which were part of my personal wound. The major one being that I had spent so long trapped in silence that I wasn't sure if I could speak... Continue Reading →

Internet Treasures: The Gunfighter… and those pesky voiceovers!   The Gunfighter by Eric Kissack Found via my partner (pardner) who found it via a Twitter tweeter who found it via ShortoftheWeek.   If you love Westerns and grew up on a regular dose of them like I did, and imagined yourself in the role of a cowboy always on the verge of... Continue Reading →

Solstice – Between a Door Closing and a Door Opening

This week I have been caught in between several minds about my life - the past, the present and the future. Part of me needs to think things through... another part would rather not think... and... so on. Luckily, at the end of this week I was whisked away to another time and place.  ... Continue Reading →

Don’t Look Back… okay, maybe just a little peek

At the moment I should be furious. The sort of justified fury which could lead to righteous blindness or spontaneous combustion. I could be furious... But. This sort of fury is pointless and has a tendency to lead to stupid mistakes. Mind you. The reason for the opportunity to be furious is due to a... Continue Reading →

Internet Treasures: WheezyWaiter… and a belly full of laughs!

I have a serious week ahead of me, and today in particular is full of foreboding... So... my preparations have been to find as much laugh-inducing moments as possible. I use humour to deal with everything and I really don't care how inappropriate it is, as I tend to keep it to myself since it... Continue Reading →

The Photographer’s Assistant

  “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” ― Terry Pratchett The photo above is part of a series of extra shots I was taking while preparing to do a shoot. I was warming up, trying to synchronise my eye and the camera, and get a feel for how... Continue Reading →

Life, Dreams and a Doozy of a Week

When I saw this week's writing challenge on The Daily Post: Worlds Colliding about the different personas and facets of ourselves which we use to interact and deal with life, I thought - This is fun! It got my questionable creative juices flowing because it falls into my wheelhouse of observing myself and being aware... Continue Reading →

Dear Mother (yep, you get one, too);

Beautiful, poignant, and a wonderful expression of all the facets of relationship and being human.

A powerful post!

If you ever wonder why people blog… this is why. Sometimes it’s the only way to give voice to things we find hard to say otherwise.

Thank you for sharing!

here we are. here we go.

I decided to not publish the rather extensive detailed account of how I made the official decision to distance myself from my own mother last night, during a life event where a child (no matter the age) needs a mommy most.

Instead, you do things that truly hurt my feelings. Like sending me text after text how I hurt you and that I’m “so blind to you” and that “I am really missing out” while checking in my father at the VA ER with my son this afternoon. Literally; and without exaggeration.

I decided not to publish my last evening’s semi-rantish post, but I also don’t deserve to continue to be antagonized over and over after explaining where I was and asking you to let me feel like I just have the support from my mother.

In fact the one relaxing moment I am allowed to take is dedicated towards…

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I waste much time gaping and wondering…

    “I waste much time gaping and wondering. During a walk or in a book or in the middle of an embrace, suddenly I awake to a stark amazement at everything. The bare fact of existence paralyses me- holds my mind in mortmain. To be alive is so incredible that all I do is... Continue Reading →

Wiggle Room

  “But I always liked side-paths, little dark back-alleys behind the main road- there one finds adventures and surprises, and precious metal in the dirt.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky   I didn't find any adventure or surprise or precious metal while exploring the back alleys and side paths of this village. At the end of this... Continue Reading →

Surviving the Narcissistic Parent: ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists)

A superb account of what it is like to be the child of a narcissistic mother, which also applies to a narcissistic father.

We need to inform ourselves – whether we are ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists), their partners, spouses, friends or otherwise, or whether we are in a relationship with a narcissist, have children with them, or are affected by them in any other way.

The more we understand them and how they affect us, the more we can understand how to heal, undo what they have done, find a way to be free from their programming, training, influence and control.

By finding out what is ‘wrong’ we can find out what is ‘right’, with us, with others.

By sharing we help ourselves and we help others help themselves too.

Thank you for sharing.

The Invisible Scar

narcissistic-mothers-smApril is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. At The Invisible Scar, we are focusing on emotional child abuse, such as the various types, how to help emotionally abused children,  resources for healing, adult survivors of emotional child abuse, and the special case of narcissism.

Adult children of narcissistic parents (ACoNs) know a special type of emotional abuse in being raised by narcissists. (Biological mothers, stepmothers, biological fathers, and stepfathers can be N parents.) 

Before we discuss the special case of narcissism, please note that not every emotionally abusive parent has the narcissistic personality disorder. In some circumstances, an emotionally abusive parent who is not a narcissist can change and improve his or her parenting.  The same is not true for the narcissistic parent, however. Every narcissistic parent is an emotional abuser.

A narcissist is a person who has the narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one…

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When Your Sense of Each Other Darkens…

    “Every friendship travels at sometime through the black valley of despair. This tests every aspect of your affection. You lose the attraction and the magic. Your sense of each other darkens and your presence is sore. If you can come through this time, it can purify with your love, and falsity and need... Continue Reading →

My Happy Place

This is simply… a stunning post by a beautiful soul with a way with words and self-expression which draws you in, welcomes you and takes you on a journey… one which you may be reluctant to leave but very glad you took.

Traveling likes this, in location, in time, in memory, in person… walking in someone else’s shoes for a while… is so evocative and truly, deeply touching.

It makes you ponder yourself, your own life, people, places, memories, shoes… in a poetic and appreciative way.


Thank you for sharing!


“Just, I don’t know…kick it in.”
“I can’t just kick it in. What if I break it?”

My boyfriend and I are standing at the door of an abandoned cottage. I know the walls are whitewashed, but they now appear a sinister mossy green colour after years of neglect. The thatched roof is on the verge of collapse and as I look up, I spy a small tree sprouting up from behind the chimney.

Jack shoulder-charges into the door again. It doesn’t budge. Shoulder and ego bruised, he turns to me. “You know technically, we’re breaking and entering here.”

“Calm down Sipowicz,” I snap, “this is my grandparent’s house. I have every right to be here.”

As a child, this was my favourite home to visit. I use the word ‘home’ because it was a home in every sense of the word.

Located miles away from a main road…

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