Words

Words keep coming up… in conversations.

Some of those conversations are ones I have with myself.

I do use images, visuals, sound, music, films, video games, and other ways of communicating when talking with myself… sometimes words are a part of those too, like below:

That’s a post-it note I wrote this morning to remind myself to remind my partner of a to-do he has to do which he keeps forgetting to do because of other things he’s doing.

Usually I leave him to remember his own to-do’s because I’m not a fan of the role of nag. But he asked me to remember to remind him… so I’ve stuck a bunch of post-it notes like the one above in various places around the house, the rest is up to him. Am I wasting trees?

I’m not good at being a nag as it requires skills which I don’t have, or at least it needs a certain level of dedication to the cause and… I give up easily which is why I can’t play many video games. I can play them until you have to do the same thing over and over again without giving up… then I pass the controller to my partner and say: “It’s your turn!”

If you’re one of those people who views me as an enemy you’d like to defeat, and you’re squirreling that little weakness tidbit about me away to be used against me to bring me to my knees in front of you to beg for mercy or whatever… that weakness is also works as a strength for me, and may backfire on you. I might cough when you punch me in the gut, but I often fart when I cough and my farts can be “exceedingly” noxious.

I’ll come back to that (and why I did “that” with that word) later, but now…

As I was contemplating what to do today, which included the option of writing a post – which in that moment was represented by the word “Words” in my conversation with self, I spotted that post-it and I suddenly saw it, read it, differently.

Mot = word in French.

In the UK it means – shit, those bastards, not again… hope it passes but they’ll probably fail it to squeeze me for more doubloons or just to let me know who really has the power and who must kowtow! (see what I did there… I didn’t see it at first so it wasn’t deliberate = I’m accidentally quite smart when I don’t interfere by stupidly trying to be deliberately smart).

Words keep coming up… in conversations.

Some of those conversations are comment-chats on WordPress.

I’ve been having quite a few comment-chats with The Reverist, both on his blog and on mine, about words.

He’s fluent in English, but English is not his mother tongue.

English sort of is and isn’t my mother tongue. It is my mother’s mother tongue, but it wasn’t my father’s mother tongue, and it wasn’t the mother tongue of the place I lived in when I was a child.

And then there’s things like… the first songs I learned to sing were in Japanese because of my Japanese nanny.

So in my head you’ll hear – Omocha no cha cha cha… cha cha cha omocha no cha cha cha… maramao perche sei morto pan e vin non ti mancava… mon pere ma donne un mari mon dieu quel homme quel petit homme… apusski dusky apusskidu… oh I don’t know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she’ll die!

Lots of words…

Which sometimes attract more words, such as – I do know why she swallowed a fly, her mouth was open and instead of words coming out of it a fly flew into it… or maybe she she took a glug from her glass of wine and it happened to have a fruit fly having a swim in it. It’s easy to swallow a fly, and you don’t always know you’ve done it but if you happen to be being mindful because you’re keeping up with the Joneses and “mindful” is the thing to be right now but soon it won’t be but while it is… then of course you’d want to fix the problem, especially if you’re a veganista and this isn’t allowed in your diet, even breathing in the particles of cooked meat is hazardous to your system, so you swallow a spider… but spiders are lazy fuckers – have you ever observed all the spiders who have set up their homes in your home and your home is swarming with flies and what do the spiders do – fuck all! If you complain to them: “Hey, Spider, I let you live here, I don’t disturb your webs when I clean, because you’re supposed to catch flies”… do you know what they have the nerve to say? They laugh at you because you’re using that as an excuse not to clean properly, but still…

Harrumph!

I’m a bit of an Harrumpher… what about you?

But I give up easily on the harrumphs, don’t keep them going for longer than it takes for the ripples of the sound to die out, unless… whatever I harrumphed about ties in with a wound, especially an old wound which I’m still in the process of untangling because it’s tied and tangled up with other things – the structure of the inner knot of knots is complex.

It’s later now…

The other day I wrote a post – Why Do Comedians Hate Bloggers? – which I abbreviated for a someone who commented upon it as – If you want to say what you want on your blog study stand-up comedians.

The someone who commented was Rory from A Guy Called Bloke, and he said: “An exceedingly long post that l am going to return to later today and re-read properly.”

When I first read his comment, I thought: Why did he say that?

Before I go any further, please note: This isn’t about Rory. Rory is one of those really nice people who go out of their way to be nice to others and do nice things for people, and end up getting hurt because they can’t figure out why their good deed didn’t please but instead upset or offended someone (a reference to my previous post).

I know from reading Rory’s posts that he goes out of his way to read the posts of all the bloggers he follows – he’s got a system for it which he’s shared, it’s sort of a to-do list.

When he was getting stressed out both by his offline life and his online to-do’s, worrying about getting behind on his dutiful reading of other bloggers’ posts, I told him to take me off his list.

But I think it’s a matter of pride for him, and I would guess that his comment was simply to prove to me that Rory is fine, I’m still on the list… but fuck me, Ursula, can’t you write short posts so I don’t have to slog through a long one just to do a nice thing for you.

Rory, like me, won’t “Like” posts he hasn’t read… but I only read what I feel like reading.

I’m an older blogger than he is in blog years, and luckily it took me less time than it did in RL to reach the fuck it phase – there are several of those for different things in the blogosphere. I’ve only just now reached the fuck it I’m unfollowing you because I don’t read your posts anymore phase. Brutal? But you don’t read mine either so why are we doing this!?

If you’re one of those bloggers who “Like” my posts just because I “Liked” one of yours…

well, there’s no point in me saying this, now is there…

but I’ll say it anyway for myself (which is the reason I write posts) – Don’t do that, your “Like” is worthless to me, I can’t trust it, it feels inauthentic, manipulative. I get it you’re saying “thank you” for me “Liking” you.

It’s a “Like” for a “Like”.

But to me it’s more of a “Thanks for Liking me please keep Liking me, I Like being Liked, I’ll keep giving you Like biscuits for it, but frankly I only Like you because you Like me… I can’t be bothered to find out if I actually really genuinely like you. I don’t care about you. Your stuff bores me. Except for your Likes for me.

She has issues – if that’s what you’re thinking, you’re right…

Reminds me of that guy who commented a long time ago on one of my posts, he was trolling but sometimes trolls hit the nail on the head, point out the bleeding obvious. He said I had mommy and daddy issues on a post where I had written about my narcissist mommy and narcissist daddy issues.

I didn’t approve his comment because I didn’t want him to have free reign to say stupid shit all over the place – get your own blog, on my blog I’m the one who gets to say stupid shit all over the place!

But I used his comment as a prompt for a post because… I’m a friggin’ blogger and that’s what we do!

That’s what I’m doing now, using Rory’s comment as a prompt to say stupid shit… somewhere in that stupid shit is a diamond (also a reference to my previous post – see post-it below).

When someone says something to me and it inspires a question to rise up, I pay attention even if the question it inspires is lackadaisical at first… because it might be an answer to another question I’ve asked, perhaps decades ago.

My question to Rory’s comment was at first a very lackadaisical whatever – Why did he bother to tell me that?

That’s because when I see a post which I want to read but I think – It’s too long to read all of it right now – I don’t bother telling the author of the post about it.

They don’t need to know that, do they?

Am I doing it wrong?

Me doing it wrong… it’s a surprise if I don’t!

Am I supposed to share with bloggers in a comment on their post everything I think about their post even if…

What I say is just me talking to myself – an inner post-it note to self.

Maybe it becomes an outer post-it note to self (like the one below), but I wouldn’t put a post-it note to self in someone else’s house (which is sort of what a person’s blog is – their online home/house… and their posts are them talking to themselves while at home/in their house) because that would be illogical since I don’t live there and won’t see it.

Even when the notes are in my house I might not see them…

Fairly certain my partner hasn’t noticed any of the “mot” post-it notes to him which I’ve sprinkled around the place (he has, I asked)… because he usually comments about it when I do that kind of stupid shit. Maybe he’s deliberately ignoring me to drive me crazy… nah, he’s too caught up in his creative project which is why he hasn’t done that to-do list thingy, and keeps forgetting it.

Anyway…

If I come across a long post which I want to read but haven’t got time at the time to do so, I just bookmark the post and go back to it later when I have the time to read it, like I did with this one – Longreads: Cut From The Same Cloth by Myfanwy Tristram – which I came across while clicking on those “Recommended Posts” you get in the WordPress reader from blogs you don’t follow.

It’s great fun to do that, I’ve had the pleasure of reading some superb posts that way:

When the Cat’s Away – Girls, Goals and Gong Shows

At 50 – Moss Island Sounds

Song in My Head – Betsy Dudak

Disorders and Vulnerability – Black and Bipolar

thanksRon320 – Don’t Call Me Gemma

What the world wants to know about Britain, part seventeenish – Notes from the U.K.

All of which are long posts, similar in length to my posts… old style blogging is awesome and still alive!

That particular long read post I found reblogged in its entirety on someone else’s blog first, I read part of it, loved it, decided to “Like” the original on the author’s blog which had the link to Longreads so that Myfanwy Tristram of MYF Draws Apparently would get the “Like” (and “Like” is also a way to bookmark) – your “Like” on a reblog doesn’t carry over to the original, so the author doesn’t get it, only the reblogger does.

Compared to my post which Rory found to be “exceedingly” long… why did he feel the need to say that and use that word – “exceedingly”?

At some point (probably when I found myself coming back to it even though I thought it was stupid and illogical) I realised that my question had shifted from a very lackadaisical whatever – Why did he bother to tell me that? – to a something else…

Rory accidentally did something which my parents used to do.

My narcissists were parents… I mean my parents were narcissists…

Rory’s not a narcissist by a long shot… but sometimes people who aren’t narcissists accidentally do things which remind those of us who have had narcissists in our life of the narcissists in our life and the things they did which scarred us forever, make us see narcissists everywhere in everything and everyone.

Narcissists get a lot of bad press.

My father enjoyed the benefits of bad press, it made things easier and more fun for him… he was an overt narcissist, they’re with Dali on the whole smash a store window to get noticed, get attention and become famous.

My mother found it all upsetting and offensive, how very dare everyone else, tried to squash the bad press and plaster it over with chintz of the – I’m the victim here, the martyr… when do I get sainted!?! pattern.

Narcissists are known for being terrible listeners, even narcissists will tell you that narcissists are terrible listeners – except narcissists don’t think they’re talking about themselves when they talk about narcissists – especially if you’re talking about yourself – UGH how boring!!!! Who in their right mind would listen to that!?!

However… they rely on you thinking they’re not listening to you, that they find you boring, when you’re talking about yourself.

There’s a moment when they reveal to you just what very good listeners they are… and what very good actors they are… because you were convinced by their act of not listening to boring old you… so much so that you shared some things and now those things are coming back to haunt you and punch you in the gut until you cough up blood (and if you’re me you fart blood too when you cough).

That moment of revelation at how good narcissists are at listening happens in those moments when you’ve made the mistake of feeling good about your self or about something and you let it show, you shared it…

ruh roh…

Should have covered that feel good up with a veneer of I feel like the shit that I am and then the narcissist would have kept quiet about how good a listener they are.

Here’s a not so secret secret – Narcissists rarely if ever feel good about themselves.

They are very adept at putting on a show of appearing as though they think-feel they’re super duper good… when they’re in ultra positive mode, they’re usually climbing their way up crash mountain. Tik tok tik tok until the facade explodes… humpty dumpty is down, repeat HD is down and still falling, and down deeper down they go dragging anyone around them with them in their attempt not to fall.

We’re all lifebuoy rings they’re grabbing onto.

When they see you feeling good about yourself or something… they’re grabbing onto you to save themselves, but that’s not how things pan out because their way of grabbing onto you is to burst whatever is keeping you afloat and so you both end up sinking into deep misery.

Because they think your positive is as fake as their positive is when they do it.

So they test yours by jabbing it with a that’s not a knife this is a knife knife.

How does all of that tie in with Rory’s comment which is totally innocuous?

Well, I know that I’ve mentioned quite a few times over the years in posts that I worry about the length of my posts.

They’re too long… if only they were shorter – was the issue.

That could be interpreted, if a narcissist was listening, as a weakness, a heel of Achilles, a vulnerable spot, as something I’ve said about myself which could be used against me if and when I get all think-feel-good about my self, my blog and my posts.

I don’t recall when it became a “thing”… because when I started blogging long wordy posts was what bloggers wrote. It was the norm.

At some point it shifted over to short posts being the norm and long posts being seen as not the norm – what is fucking wrong with you too many words!!!

It was before all the defectors from Facebook decided to WordPress blog themselves as a fuck you to FB, and turn WP into FB, spamming the reader with short post after short post, memes, quotes, gifs with a few words attached like – I love this quote! So true about me or others depending on whether it was talking about positive or negative people.

It was before Instagram became Instagram and suddenly it was all about images telling the story and not words.

It seems to be shifting again… words, lots of them, are becoming welcome again as we search for substance, a deeper more meaningful conversation, more than a sound bite, to take a journey in thought not just a quick trip to the shops to buy something we don’t want but are told that we need to have, must have or you’re a nobody and who cares about you.

That reminds me of:

there are two versions of this quote, this is one, the other is – books are cool but knowledge without mileage doesn’t mean anything to me.

Which I came across the other day while looking for quote-images of stand-ups whose stand-up routines I’ve enjoyed because what they said taught me something… all the images I use in my posts mean something to me, I’m not just decorating my words with pretty pictures which I dgaf about.

How many people, bloggers, have I upset or offended by saying that, and that, and that?

[hahaha! As I was re-reading and editing – yes, I do that stupid shit… and usually end up adding more words rather than taking words out – an almighty thunder-lightning-rain storm broke out… love it! and yes, for those who remember, I have fixed-replaced the broken roof tile, got my slate ripper and ripped away – the how-to video made it seem easy, it was not easy and my neighbour is still traumatised by what he overheard, as is my itty-bitty which got bashed luckily it was a rubber-headed hammer but at least I didn’t fall off the ladder… the tile tag isn’t perfect… that bugs me but life is like that]

None, because they don’t read posts like mine.

Sometimes they “Like” them without reading them because I’m following them or “Liked” one of their posts.

What are posts like mine?

Well… according to at least one blogger they’re “exceedingly” long posts, and reading them may take up too much of their time and they’re very busy you know, they have all those other posts which their followers whom they’ve followed back post, those who got with the program and do short posts, to read and “Like” to keep the “Likes” coming… too petty? I can get so much pettier than that… I won’t but I can.

If you’re digging a hole, keep going because when you get to a certain depth…

There is a consolation prize for putting up with my stupid shit…

If I “Like” what you wrote it means I genuinely “Liked” it, I read it and I’m authentically applauding you for saying it, sharing it, even if I didn’t read it all (I will read it all later… shit, shouldn’t have prematurely “Liked” it! 😉 )

And if I comment on it… I’m going to tell you exactly what I think – if you could read my mind it’s thinking what I said to you in the comment.

So if I say it’s great brilliant genius that’s exactly what I think-feel, I’m not saying that just to get you to “Like” me.

Here’s a not so secret secret about me – I don’t expect anyone to like me, in fact it freaks me out when people do that but only when it’s genuine, real, authentic think-feel-io.

Are you wondering how I can tell the difference between a fake “Like” and a real “Like”…?

I don’t think you’re wondering that… why… because I know you know how to do that too…

It’s just that sometimes we lie to ourselves about what we know and don’t know and stuff… sometimes because others make us feel like we’re shit for knowing the shit we know.

I know I’m going to waste a lot of trees next year when the mowing the lawn season starts again… those two squirrels have done the trees proud, I’m exhausted just watching them work their cute furry butts off hiding tree seeds in the garden (no, I wasn’t looking, didn’t see you dig, plant and cover up – or was that a fake out because you don’t trust me). I try to let the seedlings grow – there are at least three baby oaks I’ve managed to let get further than oops, killed it, sorry nature… but my lawn and short and stupid shit stuff!

I know that I’ve mentioned my struggle with the whole “my posts are too long, I should write shorter posts” issue in posts which Rory has read.

Recently I finally solved that issue… I mentioned that in a post (nope, no idea which one, so no link sorry not sorry), but I don’t think Rory read that one… maybe he did.

And since in my last previous post, the one he commented on, I was a bit all think-feel-good about things…

So… if he was a narcissist… he’s not… but if he was… what better way to burst my think-feel-good bubble and have me crash land in feel like the shit that you are than to remind me of my sensitive spot, poke the bruise, jab the wound.

That’s not what he was doing, but it reminded me of my parents and other narcissists I have known who love to do that because they’re misery and misery loves company.

Luckily that’s not a wound for me anymore, it’s something else… dare I say that weakness has become a strength?

For those who like astrology and are wondering… transiting Mars in Virgo (the god of war and daring devil in the details) is humping my natal Pluto – woof woof! Natal Pluto is in the 1st house of self, trines natal ego-Sun in the 5th house of creativity (which atm is in a tight transiting Saturn/Pluto sandwich) and opposes natal Chiron (the wounded-healer… be careful once he finds the healing in his wound if you’ve been using his wound against him) in the 7th house of other fucking people and friggin’ relationships (it’s okay, transiting Neptune is in there saying – calm down, calm done).

Did a quick tarot reading about my Q as it evolved and got this:

via Aeclectic Tarot free readings

That’s it…

I’ve run out of words…

Is that possible?

Well, yes, everything is possible unless it isn’t…

Your turn with words – go – tik tok tik tok

21 comments

  1. I know some Words. I met them last week while I was waiting for a taxi. Loquacious and chatty they were. Quite voluble and they all seemed related. 😉

    I like to explore new blogs (thanks for suggestions; I looked at a couple) and will like but rarely do I follow. I want to read the people I follow and if I take on too many, then I’m just cluttering up my reader and not being fair to them.

    Like

  2. Helllllooooo Ursula🦘

    Yes, I realize that’s a kangaroo and not a bear, or a sea witch. Why a kangaroo? Because, your post feels like its hopping and bouncing. It feels like a pinball game actually but I dont have an emoji for that. It’s all boing boing, flap, lights, music, numbers increasing, boing boing…

    Whew!

    I’m pretty much the same way with the “likes”. I dont even pay attention to the “likes” most of the time, I look at the comments. Sometimes a post like the games, I dont expect comments, then I’ll see who stopped by, maybe. Meh… you know me well enough now that nothing is ever black & white. Except when it is. Ha!

    I’ve been working on breaking the habit of automatically pressing “like” after I read. And its because of your long posts. All your fault. Do you care? No? Good!

    I’m breaking the habit because I would press the “Like” and not be ready/able to comment right then. I have horrible memory. The times I commented that I’d comment later was a reminder to myself. Then I thought that was kind of annoying (I’m sorry for breathing air in your space, I’m making myself as small as possible, please dont be angry…. old shit like that) and I hate doing things that make me feel annoying. I have a new way to remind myself.

    I usually read your posts 2-3 times before I comment. I get more each time. I’ve thought many times while reading that I’d love to actually talk to you. But, no…this is really cool too. If we talked we wouldn’t say the things we say by doing it this way.

    I’m glad you didnt fall off the ladder. Leave the squirrel’s nuts alone.😘

    Like

    • Ciao bella Angie 😀

      But I love your serialised commenting style with the Arnie voice!!! Besides you made the mistake of sharing your astro with me and I now know you have NN in Aries in 2nd house = you should definitely comment your way, see the value in it, and not change your style of commenting for anyone else 😉

      I’m always messing up people’s systems, it’s a running joke in RL… my cat in particular gets very fed up with me messing with her system.

      I used to have this habit of moving the furniture around in rooms to see what it would feel like with everything changed and because I would wonder if there was a better layout – system of furniture placement, and my partner was very long-suffering about it even though it would stress him out. I’ve mostly stopped doing that, I move it around in my head instead and only change it in the physical if I find a better layout but I ask before I do it, check that everyone is okay with it.

      I’ve slowly learned to be more respectful of other people’s systems, and I try not to mess them up but sometimes it happens anyway because that’s the effect I bring to this world… or so it seems. I mess up systems just by being myself… even when I do absolutely nothing and say very little, someone will see something in my eyes and that’s all it takes for a system to get messed up 😉

      I also hate doing things which make me feel that I’m annoying, but… I am an annoying person, it’s an innate ability, a super power, and it’s the gift I bring to this world 😀

      I’m actually rather quiet in RL, everything in my posts is inside my head, conversations I have with myself… although since I’ve been blogging and since blogging has taught me to be more confident in the way I express myself, or more daring about blurting the stuff inside my head out of my mouth, I do share my thoughts out loud with others more. It’s a bit like mini-information bursts. My neighbour calls me Google. I’ll be sitting there quietly, listening, and then sploosh – lots of words come flowing out, then I see the expressions on the faces of those around me – confused, overwhelmed by TMI all at once, eyes unable to focus as minds are scrambled… and I know it’s time to go quiet again.

      Also in my posts I can follow the threads, connect the random dots, of thought from start to finish, it’s like a wank, mental masturbation with climax, but in RL when in conversations with others it’s all about interaction, and getting distracted, interrupted, side-tracked, going off on tangents which are theirs, taken on someone else’s thought trip. It’s a different experience, it’s great… I tend to prefer listening when with others and letting them direct the flow, see where they go and want to go.

      So I reckon you and I talking in RL… hmmm… there’d be a lot of hmmm-ing out loud which might turn into humming because the sound of hmmm would remind us of humming, with random thoughts popping out like bubbles floating around, if anyone eavesdropped they’d think we were both high on MJ… and we’d laugh because we heard them eavesdropping, heard their thoughts more bubbles floating around, and we know we’re not high on MJ because we don’t need that kind of thing to be dopey.

      I’m going out to mess with the squirrels’ nuts… oh lordy that sounds naughty :O

      Like

      • Dude Ursula😎
        The MJ words made me laugh. I am totally dopey without help. I do occasionally still partake. It’s legal here in Cali for medical and recreational. Not that the legality ever made a difference.
        Some days when the sun is shining and the breeze is just right…ahhh… I need to smoke some “God’s Gift” (my favorite strain), put on some Jack Johnson or James Taylor and just groove.

        One time I made the mistake of food shopping while stoned. I got stuck by the cheese for what felt like a half hour. All those different kinds of cheese. Some sliced, some shredded, some in blocks. Soft cheese, hard cheese, STRING cheese…it was almost a religious experience.😂

        But talking??? Not so much. I do really get stuck in my head. I would probably blurt out some random thing. But I bet it would make perfect sense to you. Maybe not MY sense, but sense.

        Maybe Arnold, maybe not…🤷‍♀️ its been a strange couple days. I could blame sleep deprivation but I’d be kidding myself. I’m goofy all the time🤸‍♀️💃

        Like

        • Gotta love The Dude 😀

          I’ve only used MJ a few times, the first time I tried it was way back in high school, it made me very depressed and I thought – I can be that without the help of drugs. Many years later I tried it again because the people I was with were passing it around, it just made me very sleepy and I’m already like that naturally. One time I tried skunk – I thought I was going to die, but it made me hear the music of traffic and feel at one with it while I was dying 😉

          I’m one of those people who will only take an aspirin if I really can’t take the pain any longer (and then I curse myself for not having taken it sooner)… unless I know it’s a migraine coming and then I have to take it before it gets a hold or it’ll last for the next few days and then I’m in vampire mode – the light the light I’m melting. Apparently they’ve done a study (of course they have) and found that redheads need more anesthetic than non-reds, but we have a higher pain threshold.

          I did want to try LSD out of curiosity, still haven’t, but from what I understand it sounds like what I experience regularly when dreaming vivid dreams.

          If I had as little sleep as you seem to get, I’d be a zombie…

          Here’s something fun for you, you’ve probably already seen/heard it but hey:

          Like

          • Love it!! I had to share it with older daughter, a Capi born on Friday 13th who loves Halloween & zombies.

            I tried just about everything in the 80s. But getting pregnant at 20 put a stop to all of it. Now I just take morphine and fentanyl 😂😂 The ganja is very rare cuz I’m a total lightweight. I’ve used too much and felt like I was sinking into the bed, unable to move, hard to breathe…that’s definitely NOT a chillaxing good time.

            Interesting about redheads. Ben is a ginger (who feels almost zero pain) with hair to the middle of his back. He doesnt like haircuts. My hair used to be more reddish, now it’s a blah no color. Meh…
            I dont take cold medicine. All that stuff makes me feel worse than being sick.

            I sometimes wonder if Ben is an energy sucker. He’s ADHD & autistic and he’s fine with 5 hours of sleep at 11 years old. ADHD cant explain all that energy. I think he steals mine and that’s why I’m so tired. Not on purpose of course, but still. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Until I change my mind of course.

            Aloha🌺

            Like

            • Your daughter has the most awesome B’Day ever for a Cap – our sign loves the macabre, Edgar Allan Poe was a Capricorn 😀 gotta love Eddie Al Poe ❤

              So… you're saying Ben is a male succubus aka incubus 😉 My history teacher in high school, who was a redhead, did a whole bit in class one day about the history of redheads and said we were regularly viewed as the spawn of the devil – the devil card in tarot is associated with Capricorn, but Ben's a Virgo, right? My partner is very super duper Virgo, when he's caught up in something he never sleeps and it's exhausting but also exciting. Autists are hyper focused on their passions/interests, add Virgo to that and he doesn't need sleep, he doesn't have time for sleep as there's too much exploration of his hyper focused passions/interests to do. If he doesn't need sleep, then you don't need it either – Vulcan logic.

              You're so patient, saint levels of patience… bear-me thwacks anyone who wakes me with a big grumpy bear paw.

              Like

  3. I have the same problem as Rory. I’m not getting things done in real life because I spend tons of time writing and reading blogs. What I’m actually not getting done is my own writing of books. It’s why I haven’t written my own blog posts very often lately. I’ve been getting back to my WIP. However, I don’t read other people’s posts because I feel obligated. In fact, I tried not reading them before, and all I did was obsess over if I missed something interesting from one of my blogger friends.

    As far as shorter posts…with the advancement of technology and everything moving in the blink of an eye, people are getting used to quick. They want everything right now and they want it brief so they can move onto the next “right now.” I’m not saying it’s good or bad, but personally, I think we should be savoring every moment and not always living so fast.

    You write long posts and I write long comments to your posts. In fact, you’re the only blogger where I feel comfortable doing that and don’t feel judged. However, my other blogger friends don’t write in such depth. I really do enjoy depth, and that’s why I “like” and comment long on your blog.

    Now that this is long enough and I have dinner ready, I’m off to eat. Have a great weekend.

    Like

    • Thank you, Lori 🙂

      I love long comments on my posts, I love it when people share themselves, their ideas, thoughts, views, experiences, stories – It’s a great compliment when people feel free and able to do that with me. I learn a lot from it too and learning is one of my all time favourite activities, so it’s also a great gift which people give me.

      I had an argument and falling out with a regular reader and comment-chatter last year because he decided that I should write a book, and told me he was going to nag me until I did. The bit which pissed me off was when he told me that writing a book was easy, all I had to do was take time away from blogging to do it. My Italian side came out in full force 😉 I ranted in several posts about it.

      One of the things I said was that I make time for blogging because I love blogging, and if I was going to take time away from blogging then I’d use that time to get more stuff ticked off my RL to-do list and not give myself more to do on top of that.

      He was a really lovely guy, so I was sorry I got so angry, and he really read my posts, he’d print them out and read them while having breakfast at a cafe.

      Writing a book is not easy – pretty much every author will tell you just how hard it is, the ones who say it’s easy are probably lying. And it’s not just the writing of the book but everything else which goes with it, the before and the after. It takes a lot of true grit to be a creator of books!

      Here’s a secret about following a blog – unless they delete them on a regular basis, there’s no time limit on reading blog posts. I love to explore archives of blogs, it’s like being in a library and finding a hidden gem of a book stashed away in amongst other books. And many bloggers love it when someone “Likes” one of their old posts which they thought no longer mattered because it was old and people only want new stuff.

      I think there’s a slow turn around happening, we’ve done the living too fast so much that we’re all exhausted. I keep reading psychology posts about the importance of rest and sleep… we all need some deep and slower and time to take life in like a deep breath. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s true about older posts always being there. I sent you to some of mine. I close comments on blogs older than 4 months, because I’ve forgotten what I’ve written by then. So, I appreciate you going over there and reading them.

        That was a good idea to print out posts and read them later.

        I haven’t had a falling out with blogger friends yet, but I have had falling out with several facebook friends.

        I’ve written two books and I’m in the middle of my third. NO, it is NOT easy. Some people think you just write it out and you’re done. That would not make for a good author, and no one would read their work after just a few sentences.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I would’ve sent a private message so as not to take attention away from the focus here–which is your own work. But I see comments are how you communicate and I had to reach out to you. I’m so new to the blogging world that I didn’t even know what a pingback was when I saw I had one. Yea, I’m that green. I looked it up, and squealed with joy when I saw someone out in the world enjoyed what I wrote. I probably have about three people reading my posts, so you can imagine it meant a lot. If anything, know you made a new bloggers day–possibly week. Thank you for sharing in your own post and I look forward to reading more of what you’ve shared—you have an incredible library of content. Here’s to continuing to connect through words in lengthy posts.

    Like

    • Thank you, Lauren 🙂 and welcome to the blogosphere, don’t worry not all bloggers are as nuts as I am 😉

      I love comments, especially if they take the focus away from whatever I was doing in a post. Seriously though, comments are part of the post, they are often more interesting than the post itself (at least on my posts they are). They add the creativity of others to yours – it’s like a brainstorming session where you all take an idea and bring your vision of it into the mix and create something, different, better together. I love reading comments on other people’s posts, it adds dimension – and I always check to see how the author of the post replies to comments, it tells you a lot about the blogger behind the blog.

      I adored your post, it’s absolutely brilliant, comic genius! A pterodactyl!!! Laughed so hard at that. And you dumping dead bodies and detritus in the woods… you look so innocent 😀

      I hope you enjoy doing it and keep doing it, you have a wonderful blogging voice. Being green is fun sometimes, makes everything exciting!

      Like

  5. A couple of thoughts (and get comfy, because like you, I’m WORDY). First, I don’t know if you know this, and perhaps it’s not relevant in any case, but Rory is Autistic. Has Asperger’s. How I (someone who doesn’t have Asperger’s) interpret that is that the filters are off in people with A. They are raw, real and often literally say what they think. It’s not meant to wound others, it’s just how they are. He was probably sincerely sorry he didn’t have the time to finish the post, and since he found it “exceedingly long’, that’s how he described it. I think you caught the difference, but I didn’t know if you knew what the underlying reason might have been for the comment. Um. Poking my nose OUT of business that isn’t mine now. Too late? Um. Sorry.

    Second. To me BLOGGING is about words. It’s not about popularity, pretty pictures (unless one is a photo blogger and that’s something different from ‘pretty pictures’ in my opinion), memes, getting humongous honking ‘likes’ for one’s posts or any of that. I write some damned long posts myself, but I also write short ones sometimes. The short ones usually don’t involve me being passionate (a word that has crossed my path a lot this month for whatever reason) about the subject matter. If I’m caught up or really invested in the subject matter, that post of mine will ramble on and on and on, and if someone doesn’t have time to read it all, that’s on them. There’s gold in them thar hills. Maybe a few diamonds too. Rough ones, but still. Diamonds. I ‘like’ a lot. And I don’t always read either, but the likes are to show my support for the blogger of like, and to let them know I appreciate their efforts, even if I didn’t read their post. Sometimes the subject matter is so dull (to me) that why would I read it? I won’t get diddly out of it, it’s a time waster (for me), and I really do have better things to do sometimes. But I do admire the effort that it took that blogger to write whatever they did, so “like”. I got called out on that the other day too. The blogger whose post I liked said “I barely pressed “Publish”. I KNOW you didn’t have time to read it, so why did you like it?” I was horribly embarrassed to be caught out. No. I did not read it. I still haven’t read it. I probably will never read it. Should I have taken it back?

    Those of us who have damage to ourselves (ego, psyche, physically) as children are sometimes very very thin skinned. We might hide it well, especially as adults, but somewhere there’s still that little kid going “Why are they DELIBERATELY hurting me??” when someone offers us what might be meant as constructive criticism or even an off hand remark that wounds. I’ve found I take things personally that aren’t meant as attack on me. I’ve had people tell me “Why are you taking THAT personally?” or “Why are you making it personal?” Because in that moment I’m the little kid with no defenses and some bully has stabbed me in the soft parts. Verbally. People like me are ultra-defensive I think. Any perceived criticism and we’re up in arms, because that’s how we learned to protect ourselves.

    I’m practicing not knee-jerking when someone ‘attacks’ me or criticizes me (as I perceive it). I try real hard to pull logic into it and find the reason behind WHY they’re doing that. I think that’s what you did with Rory’s comment too. Maybe asking him directly would be a good idea? He’s usually pretty even handed and will respond with grace. Or so I’ve found.

    Great post Ursula. I read it. ALL. And I hope I got the meaning you wanted to send.

    Like

    • Thank you very much, Melanie 🙂

      Yes, I know Rory has Asperger’s, he writes about it a lot on his blog. He recently mentioned having an argument of sorts with an Autist who objected to some of the ways Rory writes about his Asperger’s. I have read his self-observations about it, and I’ve read many articles written by Aspergians and Autists about their experience of it and of how other people misunderstand them. Some of it resonates with my experience of having Dyslexia, there are similarities between the neuro-diversities.

      What I wrote and said here wasn’t about Rory, it was about my evolving reaction to his words. It was about me and my internal conversations, not about him and his comment.

      I don’t have an issue with Rory or his comment, so there’s nothing to ask him about – this post was about me and my issues, and I was asking myself about them.

      His comment was normal and ordinary, it’s the sort of thing people say to each other all the time in RL. You know, like replying to questions people haven’t asked you because your mind is nagging you about something you’ve told yourself that you should do but you haven’t done it yet, and you give them all this superfluous running commentary which is in your mind – I haven’t done XYZ yet because first I had to go to the toilet, and then I found I had spinach stuck in my teeth so I went to get floss but found I didn’t have any so I went to the shops and while I was there…

      It stood out because to comment on someone’s post takes time and effort (or at least it does when I do it, it takes me longer to write a short comment than it does to write a long post, but that’s probably because I have to take time to figure out how to say what I want to say without sounding like a psycho… which is futile) – he could have used the time and effort it took to write a comment about not being able to read my post to read the post 😉

      And the word “exceedingly” caught my eye. I can be rather pedantic sometimes… it’s sort of a side effect of having Dyslexia, because of the Dyslexia I have to read things several times over to make sure I read what was written, and I examine the words individually sometimes as part of that. Then I start to wonder… and the wondering may get pedantic.

      Then there’s the whole raised by narcissists thing… it trains the mind to look for hidden meanings in what has been said, because there’s always layered meanings in what narcs say. If a narcissist tells you “You look nice today” run for the hills.

      And since his comment was on a post wherein I discussed asking questions and the answers in different forms being attracted to them, and saying what you want while accepting that you can’t control how people react to what you say, and allowing yourself and others to react how they react to what they hear which may not be what you said… I thought I’d walk my talk and allow myself to explore my own reactions, share what I heard in what Rory said while knowing that it wasn’t what Rory said 🙂

      I think if you like to “Like” a blogger’s posts without reading them, because for you that’s a way of supporting and encouraging someone, that’s what you should do because it makes you feel good to do it. Everyone does blogging and other social media in their own way, and that’s what’s great about it. We all have individual quirks and bugbears – and one of mine is when people press “Like” without reading what they’re “Liking” but I do realise the problem is mine and not theirs, and I don’t really want them to change what they do to suit me… that would annoy me too, in fact that would annoy me more 😉

      Like

  6. I don’t hit Like for posts I dislike, I just slide away or (very occasionally) argue. I do sometimes hit Like just to say, yes, I’ve been here, I read this. But for a post that comes up with the image of Like biscuits? Yeah, I’m going to hit Like on it and it’ll mean much more than that I’ve been here. They don’t have any calories but damn they’re addictive.

    Like

    • Haha! Thank you for sharing, Ellen 😀

      That’s very brave of you to (very occasionally) argue with someone on their post. I’m a coward, so if it bothers me I’ll write a post on my blog about it. I’m careful about commenting on other people’s posts, partly because pretty much anything I say sounds argumentative – must be the Italian side of me. Oh, and I tend to ramble incoherently 😉

      I loved your post and what you did with the search terms. I’ve used search terms too as questions, it’s great fun, some of them are bizarre and wonderful because of it. You are very talented!

      Like

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