The Accidental Reader

AccidentalReader

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.Apparently I should write a book rather than write posts for my blog, because someone might accidentally read my posts whereas no one will read my book.

Or at least that is how I interpreted what was said to me in a comment this morning:

“Stop writing up things like this on a blog; you can do whatever you want in a book. People might read it by mistake.”

Did this person – who called themselves ‘Hitman’ and filled in the ‘your blog’ section of their comment with ‘SaveTheWorld’ (that resulted in a 404 error message when examined), whose IP address located them in India (whether that was their actual location…?) – accidentally read my post and wished they hadn’t, blamed me for their mistake and decided that if I hadn’t written what I’d written and posted it on my blog (and didn’t have a blog) and had written it in a book instead, then they would not have accidentally read it and been perturbed by it (enough to comment on my blog post).

Or, far more likely, someone close to them read the post in question… by accident or perhaps deliberately… and then used my words it to make a point with them which they did not want to have made to them.
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“Oh words, what crimes are committed in your name!” – Eugène Ionesco..

Apparently the way to ‘save the world’ requires for me to write a book instead of blogging. Or something like that. But what if I don’t want to save the world? Perhaps I don’t think it needs saving… from me or anyone else?..“Ideologies separate us.” ― Eugène Ionesco..

Growing up, as I did, with people who often said similar things to me when I expressed myself freely – thinking, perhaps erroneously, that such a thing was okay due to the fact that my body had a voice and my mind had things it wanted to say using that voice – I can appreciate the option offered to me. The option of still being allowed to express myself – just don’t do it where people will accidentally bump into it and maybe get bruised by the bump.

My parents were not as considerate, generous, or respectful of my right to express myself as this commenter is. As far as they were concerned I either said what they wanted to hear or I was to remain silent. However if I said what one parent wanted to hear, and pleased them because of it, it invariably displeased the other parent because it was not what they wanted to hear me say – which was the gist of the post – The Absent Father and The Devouring Mother – to which this commenter objected…

“I believe that what separates us all from one another is simply society itself, or, if you like, politics. This is what raises barriers between men, this is what creates misunderstanding. If I may be allowed to express myself paradoxically, I should say that the truest society, the authentic human community, is extra-social — a wider, deeper society, that which is revealed by our common anxieties, our desires, our secret nostalgias. The whole history of the world has been governed by nostalgias and anxieties, which political action does no more than reflect and interpret, very imperfectly. No society has been able to abolish human sadness, no political system can deliver us from the pain of living, from our fear of death, our thirst for the absolute. It is the human condition that directs the social condition, not vice versa.” – Eugène Ionesco..

I guess I should delete my blog and devote that time, and those words, to writing a book which no one but the writer will read… if the writer reads it, perhaps they won’t either and the world will be saved… from… what? Or who?..

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugène Ionesco..

I’m not the least bit enlightened, perhaps I’m asking the wrong question?

Why am I quoting Eugène Ionesco?

Because… no, wait, the answer is irrelevant. Still… questions tempt us to answer them and get so wrapped up in the answer, in finding THE answer, that we forget the question and end up…..

“Nothing is mightier than our why, nothing stands above it, because in the end there is a why to which no answer is possible. In fact, from why to why, from one step to the next, you get to the end of things. And it is only by traveling from one why to the next, as far as the why that is unanswerable, that man attains the level of the creative principle, facing the infinite, equal to the infinite maybe. So long as he can answer the why he gets lost, he loses his way among things. ‘Why this?’ I answer, ‘because that,” and from one explanation to the next I reach the point where no explanation is satisfying, from one explanation to the next I reach zero, the absolute, where truth and falsehood are equivalent, become equal to one another, are identified with one another, cancel each other out in face of the absolute nothing. And so we can understand how all action, all choice, all history is justified, at the end of time, by a final cancelling-out. The why goes beyond everything. Nothing goes beyond the why, not even the nothing, because the nothing is not the explanation; when silence confronts us, the question to which there is no answer rings out in the silence. That ultimate why, that great why is like a light that blots out everything, but a blinding light; nothing more can be made out, there is nothing more to make out.” – Eugène Ionesco..

Whatever!…?…!…?!?!..“I still forget, sometimes, that I am no longer 12 years old.” – Eugène Ionesco..

I wish I was a cat…

“It isn’t what people think that’s important, but the reason they think what they think.” – Eugène Ionesco

..Embryonic

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12 thoughts on “The Accidental Reader

  1. Speaking of books. The name Hitman is an ominous reminder to me of the book, “Hitman Online.” I learned of this one as I was investigating Narcissists who murder, some years ago. Christian Longo and a couple others were found to have downloaded this. I am talking horrific murderers. My stories live over at Lit.org . In addition to these malignant Ns – there were others. This book written by some innocuous housewife in Florida and published by Palladin Press was found to have played a role in a number of murders around the country. Palladin Press was subsequently shut down by the Government. But bootleg copies of this tome remain online. If ever there was a book that should be ignored. But no doubt there is another N with murder on their mind who is tapping around on a keyboard and they’re gonna find it and …
    http://www.N-Searcher.blogspot.com

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    1. That’s intriguing, I’d never heard of that book that I can recall. ‘Hitman’ to me suggest the video game and film version of the game. It also suggests someone who may perceive themselves as an activist troll of sorts. You just never know on the internet what people mean – it’s a melting pot of cultural references which may be different from the ones we have in our culture, and we can’t always figure out whether we’re on the same page or not.

      Narcissist who murder/kill tend not to be narcissists, but sociopaths/psychopaths with narcissistic tendencies. Their NPD is a part of ASPD. Those who have NPD without ASPD tend to be all about talk rather than acting on the talk. Their utopian ideal society is one they discuss rather than endeavour to create through killing off those they deem unworthy to live – that’s the domain of ASPD with NPD as a sub-disorder.

      The story of the book you mentioned is interesting. Especially when you call the person who wrote it ‘innocuous’. Were they really ‘innocuous’ considering the consequences of their words? Or were they someone with NPD whose talk triggered those who had ASPD with a side order of NPD to act?

      That’s the thing about those with NPD (who don’t have ASPD) they can, with their words, trigger things in others which were latent (perhaps) in those others. Just think about your own experience of someone with NPD – they could have driven you to acts which you would not have otherwise done, however you were stronger than their influence and able to resist their influence.

      Marilyn Manson just sung a song… but many people were willing to blame him for the actions of others, others who decided to blame him for what they did. That’s the NPD side of ASPD.

      Thank you for sharing. TY for the link to your blog!

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  2. i am very perplex as i don’t grasp why people seek this kind of contact, what is the point of saying this to you?Your blog, your writing, your world, there is place for everybody but telling what you should do or shouldn’t do, it’s invasive and nonsensical. Stupid criticism leading nowhere, just for the pleasure of being nasty.
    BTW, your cat is lovely, she seems a lady cat, so sweet.xxx

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    1. I didn’t really see the comment as a criticism, it was just a remark, expressing more about the person who made it than it did about who they were making it to. I kind of saw it as comic genius, which is why I used it as a post prompt. I mean, imagine seeing books as something people don’t read!

      I did however decide not to approve it due to not being sure if this person was or was not a possible troll or flamer or whatnot. Calling themselves ‘Hitman’ is kind of a giveaway that this person has the sort of issues I don’t want to take on.

      My cat is very aware of how lovely she is, n’est pas? 😉

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      1. She is, but to me cats are entitled to anything, while men, when aware of how lovely they are..they lose their real charm!!!

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        1. I think we may have a different interpretation of what being aware of being lovely means. I was not talking about vanity, or unhealthy narcissism, ego arrogance, etc, I mean it in the sense of someone knowing who they are and accepting themselves as is, which is lovely.

          It is easier to see in animals because they don’t question themselves the way that people do, they just are, they are being their being. They are just naturally who they are, and that is lovely.

          When a person, a being, is aware of who they are and accepts themselves, when they know they are lovely, it is beautiful to behold, it is inspiring and it is wonderful to be in their company as they pass the feeling on to you too, they accept you as you are, and while you are with them you feel yourself accepting yourself as is, no need to think complicated thoughts – do they like me, if they do why, if they don’t how can I make them like me, who do they want me to be, what do they expect of me, are they disappointed in me, etc – you can just savour the here and now of yourself, of them, of the moment, and that is lovely.

          When a man or a woman is aware of how lovely they are, naturally, it is beautiful to behold and to experience. That is real charm, the kind of charm which is a generous gift to themselves and to you, a gift which expects nothing in return but gets in return what it gives because it inspires 🙂

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            1. Our jokes about life are philosophical – never a truer word spoken in jest.

              In jest = ingest perhaps. We can’t ingest it until we’re ready to speak about it in jest?

              Reality can be sad, but what is sad about it can also be what is happy about it – if we can joke about it, make it more palatable.

              Remember what we see in others… reflects ourselves back at us. Whether we cry or laugh or both, is up to us, and we don’t have to just choose one option.

              You might enjoy this post – http://emergingfromthedarknight.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/not-magnifying-a-hurt/

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              1. I only wanted to say i find myself horrible and there are people who have a particular way to enhance the importance of their appearance which is very aggressive.

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    1. Thank you 🙂

      I accidentally read things all the time, usually because one of my internet searches goes astray. I end up on a page, often of a post on someone’s blog, which is not what I was looking for… but I’m glad I found it because it gives me a new perspective, perhaps on the thing for which I was searching or something else entirely. It’s an intriguing way to discover and travel the world of people and thought, etc.

      I don’t blame anyone else for what I find on the internet… nor do I think, this person shouldn’t have posted this for all to see and find accidentally. That is a waste of blame. But to each his own, live and let live, etc.

      Some of my favourite internet hang-outs are due to accidental reading 😉

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