How To Become What You Hate

In 10 5 3 easy steps (well, they’re sort of easy, if I said that some of them were difficult, maybe even impossible, you wouldn’t even try).

Now, if you’re going to do this properly you have to dismiss all thoughts of failure. You can do this. It just may take a while, sometimes an entire lifetime. Don’t give up just because you don’t succeed the first several hundred times you try. Persistence and obsession are key factors in achieving your goal (those prone to being stalkers and nags may excel at this).

Please note – You may achieve this goal and not even realise that you have. It happens a lot. Life has many distractions and we often don’t notice what is right in front of our eyes when we look in the mirror (especially if we have a blemish which is rather large, and embarrassing to our ideal of beauty). We also get so used to our idea of who we are, we don’t realise that we may have changed.

1. Hate something or someone.

This step is the most necessary, without it this formula doesn’t work. Mind you, you can replace hate with fear. Fear is often a better substitute for hate, but results may be a bit unpredictable. Best to stick with hate, it is more stable than fear, although the two are often linked and one can create the other. If you use them together, the power of the formula is increased.

Now, there is a matter of vocabulary to contend with. Some people don’t like the word ‘hate’, they feel it is negative, so they use a synonym in its place, such as ‘dislike’ or ‘pet peeve’ (which is quite cute) to mask the negativity.

Anyway, choose a hate, dislike or pet peeve. This works better if you choose something which you can actually eventually embody. So try not to pick something like peanut butter or speed bumps. An attitude is probably the most effective choice. If you’re a beginner you might want to choose being judgmental as an attitude to hate, as it is incredibly easy to become judgmental. Noisy neighbours are a good target for hate, especially those who do it deliberately. If your noisy neighbours are children, it’s best to remember that you were once a child who thundered around and probably yelled a bit too, completely oblivious of the long distance travel your sounds made. You could hate children deviously hoping that by doing so you might become one, but this is not an anti-aging formula. If it is, and this can be done… shit, why didn’t I think of it! It’s not too late yet!

If you really can’t bring yourself to hate anyone or anything, then you may not actually be human, which would be an interesting discovery. Perhaps you have simply transcended humanness and you may want to consider teaching other humans how to do this. Watch out though, if you become a guru you may find that all the accolades, admiration, and success, especially if there is mucho money involved, forced upon you by the grateful humans of this world will drag you back down into humanness. I’m sure you’re aware of such dangers, and are looking forward to navigating such perilous waters to share your wisdom with those who are unwise.

There is always the option of hating yourself. This is very convoluted and often creates a mess. Self hate is a very powerful spell, but it usually backfires. Hating yourself to become yourself is possible, but more often than not we tend to become someone we are not rather than ourselves when we try this version of the formula. If you would like to go down this route, the best way to accomplish it is to find one of those quotes which tells you to be yourself, then gives you a long list of what being yourself entails. You will find at least one item on the list which makes you feel bad about yourself and this is your trigger for a session of self hate, all you need to do is build upon that.

But I would advise against self hate and recommend sticking with hating someone or something else, as this can actually increase self love which can mitigate any residual self hate. You have to remember that the goal is to become what you hate, not be the one you hate. Subtle difference. Beware of those tricky subtle differences!

2. Once you have found your thing or person to hate, focus all your energy upon it.

It is important to become obsessed with the thing or person you hate. Intensity of feeling is a key to unlocking potential. The more energy you pour into the hate, the more you attract it to you. Feed the feeling, stoke the fires regularly, even if it is only a few drops of fuel every day, you have to keep it burning. If you let it go out, you’ll have to start from scratch and that’s a pain in the ass, all those years and all that energy wasted because of a lack of commitment.

Don’t worry if you have other things and people in your life which use up your energy directing it into things such as love and joy, hate works at subconscious levels and can keep burning like an eternal flame even when disguised by a conscious feeling of loving everyone and everything. So if you are a shining example of positivity, you can still become what you hate. Hate is excellent at hiding in the disenfranchised parts of ourselves. And negativity finds positivity so very attractive.

The power of attraction works. In fact it sometimes works even more effectively when we are not conscious of it because we don’t interfere with the energy flow by focusing our conscious mind upon it. The conscious mind can cause magic spells such as this one to malfunction. Either due to our attachment to obtaining results, which causes us to hang on to a wish, thus impeding its ability to go out, hook what we want, and bring it back to us. Or our misguided good intentions may try to stop us from getting what we want simply because we think that it is not what we want. The mind is prone to sticking its invisible fingers into everything and making what could be simple more complicated than it needs to be. If we are oblivious to our desires, we let them go, and they bring rewards back to us faster.

3. Stay firmly entrenched in your view that you are not at all like the thing or person you hate.

This may seem like a strange stance to take, but if you observe those who have been successful with this formula, you will notice a common denominator – They all believe that they are not and can never be what they hate. Their view is so strong that they feel compelled to impose it on others. They embody their truth with such passion, and often feel a calling to destroy the thing or person they hate because it is the cause of all pain and suffering in the world. They may have to cause pain and suffering to achieve their noble goal, but that’s not their fault, that is the fault of all those who believe the opposite of what they believe, the fault of that which they hate. Accountability for one’s actions often lies with others.

For endless examples of the power of this formula, check out the ideal which fuelled the rise of a dictator or despot and you will most certainly find someone who set out to fight what they eventually became. Of course there are exceptions, as with everything, but we’ll ignore those because they disprove my point. Can’t have that, it’s just too negative! For this formula to work you have to believe that I’m right, if you begin to pick holes in my theory, you will doubt the power of the formula itself and it won’t work for you. Your fault, not mine.

On a final note. If you’re wondering whether I’ve tried this formula first before trying to sell it to you… Oh dear, is that the time, must dash!