Expose Yourself to your Deepest Fear

Are you an Optimist or a Pessimist?

Are you Positive or Negative?

Are you a Dreamer or a Realist?

Do other people agree with your choice of which one you are? Do others call you a Pessimist when you think you’re being an Optimist? Do they accuse you of being Negative when you think you’re being Positive? Do they see a Realist where you see a Dreamer?

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“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.” ― Jim Morrison

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Do we have to be one or the other? Surely we all have a bit of both and which one we are depends on the moment, the context, circumstance and situation, and also the company we’re keeping, the person we are with at any given time.

If you’re with someone who is wearing a – The End of the World is Nigh – sign, chances are that no matter how negative, pessimistic or a realist you are, you’ll probably come across as being positive, optimistic and a dreamer compared to them.

I have often wondered why someone who is so convinced that the end of the world is imminent would choose to spend what little time they have left wearing a sign on a street corner warning other people about something which those people do not want to know about thus they ignore the warning and the person warning them, write them off as a lunatic and move on. I suppose the futility of that is a reflection of the futility they feel about life, it’s ending so what’s the point of doing anything. Or maybe they are doing exactly what they want to do, it’s their idea of fun, the best way to wait for the end of days.

To each his own.

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“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.” ― Jim Morrison

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Why am I quoting Jim Morrison?

Well, his quotes are cool and I dig his vibe. He also happened to be one of the famous people who were listed as having an astrologically aspect which I have in my natal chart and which I was researching the other day.

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“Mercury trine Jupiter shows that you have a high level of comprehension, and your inspiration actively provides you with ideas for fulfilling your creative potentials. You have an optimistic and fresh outlook on life, and an explicit belief in your capacity to succeed.” – Mercury trine Jupiter – The Translator via Astromatrix.

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After I read those buoyant words written about this aspect and those who have it, I perused those who have it and my mind had a slight psychedelic trip into the weird.

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“Where’s your will to be weird?” ― Jim Morrison

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Right here, Jim, looking at you, and at Kurt Cobain, and Ernest Hemingway, then at Rubin “Hurricane” Carter and O. J. Simpson, and finally Vincent van Gogh, wondering how such an optimistic aspect worked out for you guys. From where I’m standing, my side of the threshold of the doors of perception, I see 3 suicides, 2 accusations of murder, and 1 ear cut off before another possible suicide or murder, out of the 10 people listed. Of course there are the other 4 and many millions of others who have this aspect to consider before any conclusion is reached and perception is fixed, and if you’re exploring yourself and others using astrology there are many variables which have bearing on an interpretation.

Such as…

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“You feel your strength in the experience of pain.” ― Jim Morrison

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…if your experience of pain happens to coincide with a major Saturn transit then the positive effects of an optimistic Jupiter aspect might have a hard time being and feeling strong against the strength of your pain. Pain grinds, erodes, and hones itself to a very sharp pointed thorn in your side. When it becomes chronic, it can consistently interrupt even the most persistent optimism. Your happy always has a sad.

This morning I was feeling very blah or blergh or ugh. The kind of feeling which a cold shower or hot bath might wash away if only I could be bothered to do such a thing. But it’s cold, wet and grey outside… and inside, and inside the inside.

So perhaps I should not have read what I read, I certainly wished I hadn’t after I did. I noticed that transiting Saturn had recently conjuncted my natal Neptune (the Realist met the Dreamer, the Negative met the Positive, the Pessimist met the Optimist,) and decided to refresh my memory of the possible meanings and effects this could have – sometimes astrology explains psychological stuff in a way which eases the mind and the worries which the mind creates which could evolve into fears or which evolve from buried fears… chicken/egg. We all have our coping mechanisms, this is one of mine.

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“During this transit you may have to contend with negative moods that can be quite upsetting… [perhaps I should have stopped reading here, but this was the intro and besides this is life]… This transit often results in confusion, self-doubt, uncertainty and a general tendency to look at life from the worst possible angle… [still all a part of the normal and natural experience of life, mine anyway, fairly certain others share this]… At its worst, it can make you completely uncertain about what is real in your life, resulting in a sense of fear and free-floating anxiety… [a chronic tendency which I have experienced all of my life, which I can explain astrologically, psychologically and otherwise]… It is important to remember that this transit usually makes things appear worse than they are… [the mind does that for everyone, as does pain, and fear, especially when the mind gets a hold of them and starts messing with them…]”

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At some point along an increasingly negative, pessimistic and grimly bleak view of interpreted reality (viewed from the perspective of the person who wrote this –  – Robert Hand, Planets in Transit – and probably didn’t consider how those with this transit would feel reading this interpretation while experiencing this transit), this was said:

“Strange as it may seem, there is a constructive side to this transit… [oh good, heavy sigh with a side order of uplifting sigh, perhaps you should have started off with this before your words made me want to slit my wrists]… although most people usually experience the negative side.”

What the constructive side is according to the writer of this was never revealed, other than something to do with being self-sacrificing… which doesn’t seem constructive to me… instead more gloom and doom followed – the end of your world is nigh and you’ll be feeling this way from now until… are you still there?

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“Well, I’ve been down so Goddamn long, that it looks like up to me.” ― Jim Morrison

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I’ve been down and I’ve been up, been up the down and down the up, and sometimes I’m in the middle and don’t know which way is which way… this too shall pass, everything is fleeting if you’re fleet of foot, mind and heart.

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