Was this the way of insecurity or in security?

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“I understand what you’re saying, and your comments are valuable, but I’m gonna ignore your advice.”
― Roald Dahl

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Have you ever regretted taking someone’s advice?

Have you ever regretted ignoring someone’s advice?

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t…

But what is it that is damning you?

Most often it is ourselves who curse our choices, damn us, that part of ourselves who whispers in our inner ear that things could have been different if only we had done this or that which wasn’t the this or that that we did…

Our insecurities whittling away at our confidence…

But only if our choice seems wrong to us.

If our choice seems right to us, off we go, on our way, without a thought for the paths not taken because we chose the right one. Tra la la…

Until the next time…

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“Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate…”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

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While wandering along a way the other day, I came across a piece of trash which boldly shouted – Go Big or Go Home!

It was neither big nor did it seem to be at home…

Advice from others about our lives is often like that…

It’s loud and confident about what we should be doing with our lives, but what about the source of such huge and boisterous words? Are they going big or going home? Or are they just telling others to do it for some reason…?

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Insecurity is a regular feature of the path from birth to death. It’s something which we meet along the way in many shapes and forms.

I often meet my version of it when I decide to speak openly, bluntly, honestly, whatever, rather than say what I am fairly secure in knowing others want to hear me say to them.

It’s easy to figure out what others want you to say to them, they pretty much cue you up, not-so-subtle hint the hell out of you, and hand you your script.

But… which way do you go?

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“Tell me you love me, and all that I be, tell me you love me, and then set me free…”

– words I wrote a long time ago

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Go down the road of pleasing others and you may end up displeasing yourself, which is a form of self-betrayal that can cause all sorts of problems along the way.

Go down the road of pleasing yourself and you may end up displeasing others, which is a form of other-betrayal that can cause all sorts of problems.

Whatever we do, we can find a reason to regret it… but only if things seem to go wrong.

If things seem to go right, we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, and off we go, on our way, tra la la…

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“You run a grave risk, my boy,” said the magician, “of being turned into a piece of bread, and toasted.”
― T.H. White

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From the moment we are born, we set off on a journey, through many lands, we meet many beings along the way, some of whom are lost parts of ourselves, and others are seeking to lure parts of ourselves to get lost… and we keep going, big and small, home and away, and on and on and on… until we find the end of our travels, and then it’s over.

Or is it…

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“Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

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I often regret things I’ve said or done, tumble through the hedges of insecurity, caused by being too sure… then unsure of that of which I was sure for a moment. A moment I now regret, but do I really…?

Insecurity… in security. What an odd feeling and thought… either way.

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