Will You Marry Me?

A BIG heartfelt thank you to Carrie for having the courage of a lion and being the first to join in the fun, sweeping me off my feet with such a wonderful question and writing prompt (for more info, and to find out what I’m wittering on about – go here)!

.

Ok. Ready for my question?
That wasn’t the question.
Here is my question
Upturned Soul
Will
You
Marry
Me?

.

The moment I read your question… I burst into 80’s song.

This is one of my quirks, of which those who don’t know me are blissfully unaware and those who do know me find out about usually a little too late. I have an incredibly cringeworthy repertoire, sing off key, out of tune, too loudly, and enjoy every tortuous and torturous second of it! It makes the jars in my cellar rattle with a mellifluous sound, as though their contents are still alive.

.

.

My head is in a spin
My feet don’t touch the ground.
Because you’re near to me
My head goes round and round.
My knees are shaking
baby

My heart
it beats like a drum

It feels like
it feels like I’m in love.

– Kelly Marie, Feels Like I’m in Love.

.

Now, when you say – Will you marry me?’

Do you actually want me to pledge my troth to you, and you to me, be there for each other through thick and thin, better or worse (worse than what? Better?), in sickness and in health (even women can suffer from man-flu, and it ain’t pretty), sign a legally binding contract which requires one of us to die (perhaps under suspicious circumstances) for it to be considered pain (that was a typo for ‘paid’, thought I’d leave it) in full.

Before the nuptials, into which we will go deep into debt to make our most ludicrous wedding dreams come true, and start our betrothal off on a money pit footing, which will keep us together (and tear us apart) in a way we did not expect… the contract needs to be sorted out by our lawyers, and the paperwork will include a poster of a dead man with a tree growing out of him, and a picture of a lady who looks like Medusa screaming, while we dress up in period costumes and look appropriately solemn or not (see pic below).

.

Marriage a la Mode by William Hogarth

.

There’s also a tiny and perhaps inconsequential detail (depending on culture and country), which might cause a few hiccups in our future together. I may have to spend a bit of time behind bars, or perhaps I’ll get away with just a hefty fine to add to our lavish wedding debt (not sure if you’ll have to pay for it too, get done for aiding, abetting, and accessory to a crime… fairly certain you can play the innocent victim about this and slip like fine sand through the long arms of the law).

A couple of decades ago I kind of said yes to a similar question… or did someone else say yes when I asked it? Hard to recall… I get fuzzy in the brain sometimes.

.

.

Could you understand if you found me untrue
Would we become one, or divided in two
Please tell me

You’ll be there in my hour of need
You won’t turn me away
Help me out of the life I lead
Remember the promise you made

– Cock Robin, The Promise You Made

.

Or…

Did you just happen to be tying your shoelaces in Paris and things got awkward?

.

.

We say some crazy things, which we later call spontaneous… mistakes, when dealing with that kind of awkward situation.

.

 “If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.”

― William Shakespeare

.

Or were you just asking me to officiate at your wedding to your truly beloved?

I could do that… not sure how legally binding it would be, but that part is up to you!

What keeps us together with those we love, ask to marry us, and swear to honour and obey (hear the rumble in the jungle at that word), to live happily ever after in our ivory tower while keeping it clean, keeping our hunger at bay, keeping things mutually satisfying and stuff… what does keep us together?

Perhaps it’s a survival solidarity…

.

.

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life…

– Prince and the Revolution, Let’s Go Crazy

.

You help me get through this thing called life, and I’ll help you… and we’ll keep doing this together as long as we don’t get in each other’s way.

Gosh… this got rather grim, rather quickly…

Perhaps because Grimm influenced my view of happily ever after wedded bliss (I read the uncensored versions, the ones where things did not stop there, and went horribly wrong after the ever happily).

.

.

Fairytales were my favourite toy to play with as a child.

Some things never change, even when they seem to do so…

But I would never treat a heart, especially another’s heart, as a toy with which to play.

A heart is not a toy, even if others treat yours that way and taught you to treat yours and those of others that way.

A heart, is like a person, a living breathing being of wild beauty and wonder.

Respect it and it will respect you.

Disrespect it and… welcome to hell!

.

.

So…

As much as your heart may long for a yes from me to you, because hearts never know what they’re getting into, I have to forfeit such a pleasure, and incur the consequences… of a no given instead of a yes.

You may hate me for it, my heart will understand that yours may not understand… and perhaps is better off not understanding.

Or perhaps it will understand in the way that hearts sometimes do…

I gave mine away a long time ago to someone who looks after it better than I ever did, do and would. They keep it for me safely… and I can’t give it away to anyone else.

And to give myself away without it… would not be worthy of you.

Thank you, dear, beautiful, brave, lionheart!