Okay, so here’s the thing, my internet is a mess of hiccups, sometimes I can connect and it is fluid and sometimes just loading one page takes an age. I haven’t got that kind of patience. My mind, right now, is a bit cloudy thanks to dealing with the Narcissists in my life and the mess they’ve created which I sort of have to tidy up even though I sort of cut off all contact from them… Yeah, about that No Contact thing… Narcissists don’t accept it unless they’re the ones who initiated it. Even then.. life is about their rules and their rules change so you can never win. You can win, but that’s another post or comment.
My very first Narcissists are my parents. Try and explain that one to people who just don’t get it.
Oh, your parents love you… Sigh! Because you are their child… BIG SIGH! Fuck off with your twee idealistic view of life, of relationships, of childhood, of families, family ties, and parents… Thank you very much, please! Okay, you’re right, I’m wrong, now shut up and go away. Please thank you… sigh… fuck off!
I am the only child of two malignant Narcissists. Ergo I was trained to be a source of Narcissistic Supply. Ergo I have absorbed the behaviour of Narcissists, but I was not allowed to become a Narcissist. I have a self-destruct button installed should I think well of myself at any point in time.
I can think like a Narcissist. I can behave like one. But I can’t be one. I am a Narcissist without the NPD.
That’s life when you’re the child of Narcissists.
So I know a lot about how they think, don’t think, feel, don’t feel, behave, don’t behave. No one believes me… typical of being the victim of those who have NPD. But you believe me because you’re a victim too. So you know the deal, and it is an awful deal because you always come out of it badly. Welcome to my life.
The upside and positive side of all of this is that I am a fountain of negative knowledge which can be turned into a positive thing. The gift in the curse of a relationship with a Narcissist is my thing. I created it as a survival tactic. Now my gift is yours. For free, I’m not writing a book or selling you anything. Ask and my answer is yours… as long as I can access the internet.
Whatever you want to know, just ask me and I will do my best to answer. If I don’t know… I will tell you I don’t know.
But before I leave this open for questions, I have a few questions for you…
One of the things victims of Narcissists often say is that the reason they fell in love with a Narcissist is because the Narcissist told them what they wanted to hear. So here’s my question – What did they say to you, what did it mean to you, and why aren’t you telling yourself those things which you want to hear?
If you have been in a relationship with a Narcissist, you know how awesome they are in the early moments. They are a muse, showing you how wonderful you are. Believe that part of it, that part is true, everything after that is just a Narcissist being a Narcissist. They are very predictable and do the same thing over and over again ad nauseum. But the first part of the interaction holds the truth. They saw something of great value within you. They pointed it out to you, and then later tried to cover their tracks by making you feel awful about yourself. The first bit was the truth. You’re awesome and you have a talent of value which is natural to you. Now you have to see it without their help. Because their help has turned into hindrance which will confuse the fuck out of you.
Their version of sex is a mind fuck.
What did they tell you about yourself which you now think was too good to be true? It is true… it’s only too good to be true because you’re being too modest. Lose the modesty and embrace your natural gift!
Ask your questions now… go!
Feel free to ask on one of my other posts, the results will be the same. If I have an answer I will give it. If I don’t have an answer I will say so… but I might add some questions from me to you for you to think about and maybe answer to yourself.